The hypocrisies of a ‘straight’ bottom

[bicurious19]

So, as the title says it. I’m a hypocrite. I’m ‘straight’ and present and act masculine in every way. I seek romantic relationships with women, and very much do enjoy sex with women. I find men repulsive. I find gay sex between men disgusting.
Having unrestricted access to the Internet and the privacy of a locked door with virtually zero oversight as a 13 year old boy I soon discovered porn, and regardless of knowing it was for show and an act, questions from what I saw began to form.
Naturally started off vanilla. I saw regular sex with girls going absolutely crazy, to obviously being bored. This was consistent across most genres I found. The progression to watching more anal sex didn’t take long, and again the same thing was observed. These girls getting fucked in their pussy, I could not relate with. However, i too had an asshole I thought. To keep things following the rules, let’s fast forward to me being 18(of age). By the time I was 18 I had years of playing with household objects. Candles, cucumbers etc.
I never fantasised about the guy in the video fucking me, rather comparing the size of cock and comparing the reaction of the receiver to the size that was in me. Shemale porn was discovered next. Here my curiosities rose even higher. In the back of my mind knowing it’s a guy, the horny part of me that couldn’t relate to a girl in the videos suddenly could. And again, I saw similar things. Some tgirls getting absolutely destroyed and loving it, others groaning in pain, more and more thinking to myself I could take that.
Even when it popped up, shemales fucking guys i always skipped over. By this stage shemales fucking guys was my preferred porn for jerking off, when time permitted hours and hours of dildo play were routinely enjoyed, and I still had no desire to be fucked. I can’t even remember when or how it happened. I finally gave a try to a vid that had been popping up in my searches for a long time. I opened it. It was a gorgeous shemale in sexy lingerie with a big hard cock fucking a guy. A 1.75 inch thick vibrating dildo was deep in my ass with a pair of panties as usual keeping it in place. (Living with full house I used to love being interrupted, pulling the panties or g string up tight, briefs over the top and pants to finish. Walking around with a dildo on highest vibe setting, no choice except having it as deep as possible to prevent displaying a hard to explain tail LOL. Knowing that the g string could slip and I might face a dildo falling out of my ass infront of all my family was such a thrill-okay I will admit. Outwardly

 

[kccasey]

wow, my early experience is very similar to yours. I discovered porn and fucking myself with household objects early in puberty. I was not interested in guys, only girls, but had a hard time with them. Always managed to end up in the friend zone.
Then one horny evening, I went to a bar which advertised porn playing in the bar. Sure enough there was a projector and super 8 porn movies playing. Lots of anal sex between man and women was what was playing.
There were several couples in the bar, but then these two girls came in. Well, suffice it to say, they were trans girls.
I managed to pick up one of them, Crystal, and she was a prostitute. I went to her place and sucked her cock for first time haveing a cock in my mouth. Also she fucked me in my ass. God it was so good.
This encounter scared me, oh god, am I queer? Well, I had to prove to myself that I was not gay, and did all sorts of macho bullshit to try and say I was not. Even met and married a girl. I could satisfy her sexually, but she did not satisfy me. (Until she started pegging me at my request.
Now I have accepted that I am at least bi, have not been with a man yet, but have hired several more Trans prostitutes.
Am looking for my first homosexual encounter, that is sex with another man. I have realized that I am a bottom.

 

[saintcero]

wow, my early experience is very similar to yours. I discovered porn and fucking myself with household objects early in puberty. I was not interested in guys, only girls, but had a hard time with them. Always managed to end up in the friend zone.
Then one horny evening, I went to a bar which advertised porn playing in the bar. Sure enough there was a projector and super 8 porn movies playing. Lots of anal sex between man and women was what was playing.
There were several couples in the bar, but then these two girls came in. Well, suffice it to say, they were trans girls.
I managed to pick up one of them, Crystal, and she was a prostitute. I went to her place and sucked her cock for first time haveing a cock in my mouth. Also she fucked me in my ass. God it was so good.
This encounter scared me, oh god, am I queer? Well, I had to prove to myself that I was not gay, and did all sorts of macho bullshit to try and say I was not. Even met and married a girl. I could satisfy her sexually, but she did not satisfy me. (Until she started pegging me at my request.
Now I have accepted that I am at least bi, have not been with a man yet, but have hired several more Trans prostitutes.
Am looking for my first homosexual encounter, that is sex with another man. I have realized that I am a bottom.

I too have come to acknowledge that I am a submissive bottom. I accept that now although I denied it for too long. Now to find a Top FB

 

[Escierto]

It took me a decade to come to terms with how I felt seeing a woman with a cock. I had never even thought about it until I was confronted with it. When I saw her I immediately knew what I wanted but I engaged in denial and confusion for many years.

 

[LustyScribe]

It took me a decade to come to terms with how I felt seeing a woman with a cock. I had never even thought about it until I was confronted with it. When I saw her I immediately knew what I wanted but I engaged in denial and confusion for many years.

Having seen the pictures of your spouse you've shared, and hearing how much you adore her, I can understand why you finally overcame your confusion and fear. She's gorgeous! May I ask how you overcame it, though? If that's not too personal.

 

[Escierto]

Having seen the pictures of your spouse you've shared, and hearing how much you adore her, I can understand why you finally overcame your confusion and fear. She's gorgeous! May I ask how you overcame it, though? If that's not too personal.

That's a very good question. It took some time for me just to get over the shock of being attracted to someone with a cock. Afterwards I slowly grew to accept how I felt and after years I was ready to actually pursue my desires. The whole thing took a decade so basically I could say it was time that did it.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I bottom for my wife, she has been pegging me for decades. It’s just our sex life.