Quality vs Immersion

[MausAss]

Background:
I wanted my story to be realistic. I want to be able understand why all the character’s in the story do as they do, mainly why they sleep with main character. So far all fine and dandy.

Now to the problem, I got a thread added to my story that is long and well written. The kind of thread you want added to your story and I’m sure a lot of readers like it because it gives the readers what they want in a sense. The problem I have with the thread is not the quality per se, but that it breaks the immersion for me. I don’t understand why the girls in this case act the way they do, it seems more that they act the way they do because the man character/writer wants them to, than any thinking on their own.

The problem started in the thread before, but I approved it because it was well written and the problem wasn’t as glaring to me, but it got me thinking.

I just want to discuss the problem. What do you do with a good thread that breaks immersion and in some way the vision for the story, but you know a lot of readers will appreciate?

 

[gizmoo69]

I suspect you're clinging too tightly to your story. CHYOO is a collaborative effort, and this is its major strength. I understand that you want to create an immersive and well-rounded story. I've tried to move away from cheap thrills into more more narrative-led stories myself (e.g. in Vampire Fledgling). However, you have to accept that since CHYOO involves multiple writers, some may wish to take the story in other directions, and that these creative visions may differ from your own.

Personally, I take the stance that anything I put on CHYOO is open to other authors, and that my role as editor is to check for spelling, grammar and flow (e.g. that names are consistent, etc.). I don't reject threads simply because they aren't the way I would write them. If I don't like a particular thread, I won't add to it, and will instead create a new direction for the story to go.

I'd say you should accept the thread, but I guess it's your story and your editorial decision. I haven't voted on your poll as I feel your question isn't really an either/or kind of thing in the way you've presented it.

 

[MausAss]

It's a good reply. Some continuity errors easy to correct, if someone write the wrong name or hair color, I just correct it and approve the thread.

This is probably a grey area, but the characters personalities needs continuity throughout the story too. Adding to the personality is fine. The problem here is that the characters personalities are getting changed instead of added too.

For example if a character is a football fan, it's okay too add his favourite team. It wouldn't be okay to add that he hates all sports because it breaks the continuity of the character.

I really apreciate the guy who wrote the thread. He added a threesome in another couple of threads that I didn't see coming and it was great. He has been a solid contributer that has made the story better.

I think the reson why approved the thread before that one is because it didn't have any countinuity errors, it only had a bit that was unrealistic.

I guess there is no right answer and I thank you for your input.

Sorry for any spelling errors, I am writing from my phone and it wants to auto-correct to swedish a lot.

 

[2p1k3]

I find your English perfectly comprehensible.

I believe that I understand what you want for your story as a whole and either way is good with me. I just have been confused on how exactly I am breaking immersion. Except for here.

The easy way for others to follow your own creative vision is to do the following.

Create a separate thread in the said story, simply for detailing the characters with what they like and their motivations. I suggest writing it from a 'god' point of view and keep it simple and straight forward. Other people could possibly add their own characters as the story grows.

'god' p.o.v. refers to how any specific character may fail to understand other characters. Yet a 'god' would know the characters better than they know themselves.

Then update it as new things are added to the characters. That will make it easier for other writers to add to a character without making my mistake and end up 'changing' it.



As for the motivations I had in 'Thai'.

Nicole wants to raise the kid but she wants to continue her education. The easiest way to do that is for people she can trust to help her. That motivates her to at least be open to the main character. In the future though maybe another branch has her change her mind because of something.

Stephanie trusts her older sister implicitly.

And I really didn't know where else to go with their motivations because of already stated confusion of mine. For either of my recent posts I thought you would either hate the post and reject it, tell me how to fix it and then 'reject it' for re-submission, or edit it. I tend to avoid taking anything personally. Its like submitting something to a magazine or publisher... either what you write fits with that they want or it does not.

Or you can also do an amalgamation of that here. Thank you for your time and compliments on my writing.

I probably should have just kept them since they were three times longer than my other submissions.