Mirror Mirror

[DarkRaven13]

I am not confident enough to post this on Lit's poetry page ... it was something I wrote a long time ago. It is short, and I know I am not a poet ... but ... I somehow wanted this out there , after being hidden for so long ...


Mirror Mirror
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s unfairest most of all
Why is it that the things I see
Are the things that’s wrong with me

Not the mirror on the wall
Not the mirror in the hall
Tis the mirror of my mind
Tis the mirror most unkind

What is shown in the mirror cracked
Are the things I seem to Iack
Why is it that I self berate
Why is it that I see the hate

Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s unworthy most of all
To disappear to not be there
Who would notice who would care

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s unfairest most of all

 

[butters]

i think the choice of format you've used—that simplistic, almost child-chant pacing—actually works well as a foil to the dark theme, enhancing it.

 

[DarkRaven13]

Thank you. It was written years ago actually...when I was in those teenage angst years.

 

[rycat25]

Thank you. It was written years ago actually...when I was in those teenage angst years.

Those are tender and sometimes tough years.

 

[HarryHill]

Stay and play. There are challenges in this forum.

 

[KentBloke]

Nicely written and I can relate to every line... even now I am past 60!

 

[DarkRaven13]

Nicely written and I can relate to every line... even now I am past 60!

Thank you ... though being able to relate still ...I hope its the memories that are relatable...and not anything from the present.

 

[KentBloke]

Thank you ... though being able to relate still ...I hope its the memories that are relatable...and not anything from the present.

Sadly it is the present. My wife is disabled and, despite being a good husband, I seem to disappear when the MDs get involved... it is, often, as though the husband/sole carer is invisible.

 

[DarkRaven13]

FYI - Thank you everyone who commented and read this.

I just wanted to let you all know that I decided to submit it to Lit's Non-erotic poems page. Once it goes live I plan to delete this particular posting.

Again, thank you everyone

 

[sirhugs]

I am glad you submitted . I was going to encourage it. It would be a fine (and better written) companion piece paired with my Lost, a Poem, which I cannot even blame on teen angst. Does senior angst count?

 

[DarkRaven13]

Yes I finally decided to push it out into the Lit-verse. I already have one poem in the non-erotic area ... and this one just published early this morning. The other on this forum, "The Mask," will be moved to the non-erotic area as well. I'm thinking of making it into a trilogy if we can do the series thing in the poem section. I need to read up more on that.

And ... I read your poem ... it would go well with this one ...and I made a comment there, that we can all feel lost at times. It was a very reflexive piece of writing.

 

[DarkRaven13]

This poem just posted on Lit's Non-erotic page early this morning. So ... I will likely take this post down tomorrow. Thank you all.

DR

 

[Ingenue844]

I am not confident enough to post this on Lit's poetry page ... it was something I wrote a long time ago. It is short, and I know I am not a poet ... but ... I somehow wanted this out there , after being hidden for so long ...


Mirror Mirror
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s unfairest most of all
Why is it that the things I see
Are the things that’s wrong with me

Not the mirror on the wall
Not the mirror in the hall
Tis the mirror of my mind
Tis the mirror most unkind

What is shown in the mirror cracked
Are the things I seem to Iack
Why is it that I self berate
Why is it that I see the hate

Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s unworthy most of all
To disappear to not be there
Who would notice who would care

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s unfairest most of all

Again. Keep writing my thoughts in your more coherent manner.

 

[DarkRaven13]

Again. Keep writing my thoughts in your more coherent manner.

Thank you again ... and ... sadly, too many feel this way ... I am glad I am no longer at this place myself.

 

[DarkRaven13]

Well ... I guess I can't delete this thread!

 

[vibes]

Well ... I guess I can't delete this thread!

Just leave it on