Love poems

I should Have Been More​

The air is icy
I normally shrug off the cold
in my hot blooded tattooed
testosterone fuelled body
but I’ve taken damage this year

it’s like all the times I should have died
in the pubs and clubs
the fights and fury
the reckless drug addled youth
have caught up to me all at once

as I move
the
air
burns
like every shattered lover
has sent their sadness
through the ether
to hover over me
cry cold tears
on my exposed skin

I want to set fire to the air
to myself
so I can feel the heat of your
words again

but no

that’s too reckless

I’ve never felt this vulnerable
so utterly not myself
never wanted to cradle
another person in my arms
crush them to me
absorb their hurt
take it all in

let them walk away
while I wallow in the sorrow
of it all
take every wound
when I’ve healed crawl off

but today
I feel small
feel weak
fragile as my own ego
 
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