magellans_demon
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2010
- Posts
- 705
As Jack approached, Katy was unsure what to do, she couldn't avoid him forever but equally wasn't sure how to deal with this, hoping he'd let her down gently, accept the mistake or at least pretend to, and go on enjoying whatever the time was together, if she was very lucky.
"Katy I'm not sorry for saying what I said about loving to be with you. And I have a feeling you feel the same way too. I heard the words that slipped so easily from you and they made me happy. I too have deeper feelings for you and want to spend more time getting to know you better both here on the island and on the mainland.... I thought we were developing something special and I would love to find out where it takes us. But I understand your feelings too that maybe I was wrong to use those words since I brought you to the island in a way that is really inexcusable. And for that I'm sorry.... Katy, if what I said offended you and all you want is to be friends and nothing more while we are on the island I totally understand. But I was hoping for something more because the longer I'm with you the more I want to be with you."
Listening each time Jack spoke, Katy wanted to reply to everything he said, relieved and happy with the way he was talking about his feelings for her, but she felt frozen to the spot, still stuck in her fears and doubts. If she opened her mouth she'd burst out in the tears she was restraining, or say something even more silly than she had so far. Her mind had swung so quickly, from feeling peaceful and happy with him, to letting all of her doubts run riot over her again and now she didn't trust herself to do or say anything more right now.
As Jack looked at her and took in all the fear and worry she held, any light left in his expression seemed to dull as he looked as though he was giving up trying to speak to her.
"I'll leave you alone to your thoughts and wait for you on the shore,"
Hearing these final words Katy felt her stomach drop, not knowing what to do next in this situation or between them at all but very sure she didn't want him to go if she had the choice. Unsure what to do she bit her lip, wanting to tell him not to leave but feeling she could barely make a muscle move. He was about to leave regardless though, his muscles steadying to leave the rocks and she felt she'd steered them both into an ultimatum, if she didn't do anything now she'd easily lose the opportunity he'd offered.
"Don't," she blurted suddenly, even surprising herself, but it seemed much clearer in that moment that if she didn't stop him now she'd make things even worse than she already had. It would be all her fault then she'd lost this chance and she might not be able to get it back. It wouldn't be him rejecting her as she feared all along, but her voluntarily giving it up and could she be really that much of an idiot, even in her most pessimistic thoughts?
"Please, wait" she almost stuttered. "I don't know if I should be left with my own thoughts, I don't seem to be able to keep them from running into chaos" she smiled awkwardly, her mind offering up a small joke at her own expense to try and distract her from risking sobs.
Swallowing and taking a deep breath she calmed herself as much as she could. "I'm sorry, I seem to keep messing everything up after you make it so good and then I come crashing through."
She let her words flow out like a dam bursting, knowing it was likely the worst way to do this, almost anyone else would know how to be more graceful but she heard everything she was feeling tipping out of her in her haste not to miss the moment after all.
"I don't want to be friends, I'd love to be something more but I didn't think you'd want anything like that. I didn't meant to let it slip out but I think I'm in love with you, it sounds stupid though when I hear myself say it, especially the way things started, that doesn't seem to matter or feel real anymore though now we're here and know each other more. I don't mind if you think I'm going too fast and shouldn't say I'm falling for you, we can keep getting to know each other, I'm not asking for anything more. You're really special, gorgeous and thoughtful and fascinating and I... don't know when to shut up...." she finished babbling, bright pink again as she bit her lip, looking at him to say something.
"Katy I'm not sorry for saying what I said about loving to be with you. And I have a feeling you feel the same way too. I heard the words that slipped so easily from you and they made me happy. I too have deeper feelings for you and want to spend more time getting to know you better both here on the island and on the mainland.... I thought we were developing something special and I would love to find out where it takes us. But I understand your feelings too that maybe I was wrong to use those words since I brought you to the island in a way that is really inexcusable. And for that I'm sorry.... Katy, if what I said offended you and all you want is to be friends and nothing more while we are on the island I totally understand. But I was hoping for something more because the longer I'm with you the more I want to be with you."
Listening each time Jack spoke, Katy wanted to reply to everything he said, relieved and happy with the way he was talking about his feelings for her, but she felt frozen to the spot, still stuck in her fears and doubts. If she opened her mouth she'd burst out in the tears she was restraining, or say something even more silly than she had so far. Her mind had swung so quickly, from feeling peaceful and happy with him, to letting all of her doubts run riot over her again and now she didn't trust herself to do or say anything more right now.
As Jack looked at her and took in all the fear and worry she held, any light left in his expression seemed to dull as he looked as though he was giving up trying to speak to her.
"I'll leave you alone to your thoughts and wait for you on the shore,"
Hearing these final words Katy felt her stomach drop, not knowing what to do next in this situation or between them at all but very sure she didn't want him to go if she had the choice. Unsure what to do she bit her lip, wanting to tell him not to leave but feeling she could barely make a muscle move. He was about to leave regardless though, his muscles steadying to leave the rocks and she felt she'd steered them both into an ultimatum, if she didn't do anything now she'd easily lose the opportunity he'd offered.
"Don't," she blurted suddenly, even surprising herself, but it seemed much clearer in that moment that if she didn't stop him now she'd make things even worse than she already had. It would be all her fault then she'd lost this chance and she might not be able to get it back. It wouldn't be him rejecting her as she feared all along, but her voluntarily giving it up and could she be really that much of an idiot, even in her most pessimistic thoughts?
"Please, wait" she almost stuttered. "I don't know if I should be left with my own thoughts, I don't seem to be able to keep them from running into chaos" she smiled awkwardly, her mind offering up a small joke at her own expense to try and distract her from risking sobs.
Swallowing and taking a deep breath she calmed herself as much as she could. "I'm sorry, I seem to keep messing everything up after you make it so good and then I come crashing through."
She let her words flow out like a dam bursting, knowing it was likely the worst way to do this, almost anyone else would know how to be more graceful but she heard everything she was feeling tipping out of her in her haste not to miss the moment after all.
"I don't want to be friends, I'd love to be something more but I didn't think you'd want anything like that. I didn't meant to let it slip out but I think I'm in love with you, it sounds stupid though when I hear myself say it, especially the way things started, that doesn't seem to matter or feel real anymore though now we're here and know each other more. I don't mind if you think I'm going too fast and shouldn't say I'm falling for you, we can keep getting to know each other, I'm not asking for anything more. You're really special, gorgeous and thoughtful and fascinating and I... don't know when to shut up...." she finished babbling, bright pink again as she bit her lip, looking at him to say something.