How to convince my wife to allow another man in our BDR?

[One_ping_only]

You don't mention how long this sex talk involving others fucking her has been going on. It took my wife 2 years of this type of role playing before she agreed to actually meet other people with a view to real life adventures and then maybe another year before she finally let another guy take her. So prepare for a long term process. Experiment more with different scenarios, find out if she is more turned on by being fucked by random strangers or by guys she knows. Find out if she is turned on more by a single guy or by a gang bang situation. find out how she reacts to an orgy situation. Find out how she reacts to the idea of another a guy watching you and her while he is wanking in front of you, or another couple screwing while you two watch them and they're watching you. She may be open to real life encounters where the other guy/couple are just voyeurs and not actually in physical contact. If she responds well to that then in the couple scenario have the other guy screw her while the wife watches and brings herself off with a toy or something. The more you experiment like this the more she'll reveal of her secret desires. That may help you in moving things forward. One thing is paramount, she has to be the one to make the decision to move to real life encounters. Don't force it.

All great advice and advice I wish I and known from the very first day I hinted to my beloved wife of my perverted, demented desires of watching her being serviced, ravished by another man or men!!!

Unfortunately I didn't know these things or I would and taken a more different route or strategy in sharing said desires, been much more patient and allow her to be in "the driver seat " so to speak . She's frowned upon my kink due to her strict Roman Catholic upbringing which is understandable.

Nowadays I simply keep these dirty thoughts and outrageous scenarios in the dark side of my brain

 

[policywank]

Take her to a bar, get her a little drunk, have a guy or two hit on her, maybe dance with her, massage her legs, and seduce her, then go back to a nearby hotel/motel and both of you use her. Get the hotel/motel in advance.

What a terribly bad idea. If she loses interest in the notion even after role play with her husband how do you think she will feel when she sobers up after her husband pulls this idiotic stunt?

Don't hint. Don't be passive aggressive. Don't try to manipulate her into situations where her judgment might be compromised.

Be honest and forthright and respect her boundaries. It may be appropriate to revisit it at another time. Maybe she will warm up to the idea and maybe she won't. Either way the focus should be on her trust, comfort and enjoyment. If you let your desires to see her with another man become the priority this will end badly.

 

[SlutAddicted]

Take her to a bar, get her a little drunk, have a guy or two hit on her, maybe dance with her, massage her legs, and seduce her, then go back to a nearby hotel/motel and both of you use her. Get the hotel/motel in advance.

Get her drunk and manipulate her into doing something she told her husband she didn't want to do and which she will almost certainly regret? What the fuck is wrong with you? How does anybody with the slightest bit of intelligence actually write down that sentence and not think "wow I really am a piece of shit."

 

[GeorgiaGuy48]

I will give my opinion here, and it has been said before. Don't pressure her. Say your desire once, don't ask again, don't make it about you. If the desire sparks an interest or curiousity , she will approach you about it. If it didn't , they I am sorry to say that it isn't happening. It is like anything in the games of love and sex. Pester her to much, you will lose her, maybe just emotionally, but eventually physically. The wedge gets driven between you and her. It is very difficult to remove it.

 

[Beachsyrf]

It’s been a while since I weighed in on this topic so I thought I’d check in with an update … was enjoying a session of extended foreplay with my gf last night and I once again suggested the possibility of expanding our sex life to possibly include another man (or men) in various ways or scenarios …. she asked how and under what circumstances we could accomplish this ….. I told her I thought a good first go at it would be the Happy Ending massage scenario ….

I told her about Hedonism and other places in Jamaica which cater to couples in search of such activities. I painted the scene of a large, strong black man (we are white) who would understand that she was receptive to an erotic, no restrictions massage. She asked if I would be present, watching. I said, “No, I’d want you to be free and unencumbered in your physical response & reciprocity …. I told her that at some point during her massage her towel would disappear as would her masseur’s shorts …. I described his thick, long black cock, half erect and brushing against her skin …. his big balls swaying back and forth in the heat. She asked me if it would have a big, protruding mushroom head, the kind she loves. “Of course”, I said … “and leaking precum” ….

I told her it was only a matter of time (and completely natural) until she reached out for it, stroked it ….. took it in her mouth …. And she knows as well as I do that when she sucks cock, she gets VERY wet and horny. I told her that my being there would only serve as a deterrent to what we both wanted. I must admit I would love to watch the joy and pleasure she would experience as her slowly worked his big dick into her wet and eager pussy. But I told her that this was very her unbridled pleasure, surrendering to her lust without worrying about me. I did tell her it would be sublimely agonizing waiting for her to return to our room but that I would look forward to her return, waiting to hear all about it and gently licking her sore and well-used pussy.

I told her about the Stag Vixen lifestyle, how much I adore her and how she deserves this type of pleasure, from time to time. I reminded her about when we met and I knew she was fucking several different guys and how much that turned me on. I could see her thinking back and making the connection of those early lustful days. I told her that I love her in many ways but that I also love “slutty-her” ….. and I asked her if she really thought that it was practical that she would only ever have sex with me for the rest of her life. She asked me if her having sex with others was ok, if she told me about it. I said, “It’s not cheating if I know about it ….. “. We can try it and see …..

…… I no longer “think” she’s receptive; I fully expect that one night in bed she’s going to say “Well, It happened ….”

 

[Gazman8888]

I'd love to hear stories of how a guy was able to convince his wife to invite another man into the bedroom. My wife is inher late 40's super good shape and Loves, Loves Loves for me to tell her stories during sex of having a stranger or two fuck her. She cums super hard. I've tried several times to get her to let me bring a guy into the mix, younger and well hung to make her fantasy come true. She agrees during sex but as soona she cums she says she doesn't want to make it a "real life" thing. We literlaly talk about it almost evertime we fuck. She even tells me during sex she wants to fuck someone in front of me. She likes to also have me tell her stories of her eating pussy and haveing her pussy licked by another women.. The thought of seeing her and joining in when she is in so much pleasure is incredibly hot.

Please share your expereinces with me on how you go your wife to agree to pleasure you, and a guy or two.
Thanks!

Brother she is telling you she wants to. What you have to do is let her know you are very secure with it. She is really worried it will change your relationship.
Start watching some porn with her, asking what sort of guys she likes, yelling her how sexy she would look and it would make you want her even more and how she would be in total control.
Be careful though, she is going to love it, want more and to go further THAT is what she is really worried about, liking it more than you're comfortable with.
Watch the porn, talk it all through, get her in positions where guys she likes hit on her, be patient and she'll go all the way.

 

[Gazman8888]

It’s been a while since I weighed in on this topic so I thought I’d check in with an update … was enjoying a session of extended foreplay with my gf last night and I once again suggested the possibility of expanding our sex life to possibly include another man (or men) in various ways or scenarios …. she asked how and under what circumstances we could accomplish this ….. I told her I thought a good first go at it would be the Happy Ending massage scenario ….

I told her about Hedonism and other places in Jamaica which cater to couples in search of such activities. I painted the scene of a large, strong black man (we are white) who would understand that she was receptive to an erotic, no restrictions massage. She asked if I would be present, watching. I said, “No, I’d want you to be free and unencumbered in your physical response & reciprocity …. I told her that at some point during her massage her towel would disappear as would her masseur’s shorts …. I described his thick, long black cock, half erect and brushing against her skin …. his big balls swaying back and forth in the heat. She asked me if it would have a big, protruding mushroom head, the kind she loves. “Of course”, I said … “and leaking precum” ….

I told her it was only a matter of time (and completely natural) until she reached out for it, stroked it ….. took it in her mouth …. And she knows as well as I do that when she sucks cock, she gets VERY wet and horny. I told her that my being there would only serve as a deterrent to what we both wanted. I must admit I would love to watch the joy and pleasure she would experience as her slowly worked his big dick into her wet and eager pussy. But I told her that this was very her unbridled pleasure, surrendering to her lust without worrying about me. I did tell her it would be sublimely agonizing waiting for her to return to our room but that I would look forward to her return, waiting to hear all about it and gently licking her sore and well-used pussy.

I told her about the Stag Vixen lifestyle, how much I adore her and how she deserves this type of pleasure, from time to time. I reminded her about when we met and I knew she was fucking several different guys and how much that turned me on. I could see her thinking back and making the connection of those early lustful days. I told her that I love her in many ways but that I also love “slutty-her” ….. and I asked her if she really thought that it was practical that she would only ever have sex with me for the rest of her life. She asked me if her having sex with others was ok, if she told me about it. I said, “It’s not cheating if I know about it ….. “. We can try it and see …..

…… I no longer “think” she’s receptive; I fully expect that one night in bed she’s going to say “Well, It happened ….”

Yeah you've got it nailed mate

 

[Islander55]

It really should not be about convincing her to do it. And getting her drunk and setting her up would be a good way to end a marriage. If she is absolutely opposed then you need to give up the fantasy or find another woman. Have an honest discussion about the topic in a laid back and informal way. Perhaps watch some porn or read a story and discuss it. I think there may be a significant percentage of women that would be interested in trying this and probably more likely as they get into middle age. Now the man should really be sure he would be OK with this because once the genie is out of the bottle, there may be no going back. Also she may have her own ideas about how this should work and they may not completely coincide with your ideas. If both partners are into it, it can be a lot of fun but there are certain dangers to it as well.

 

[policywank]

As others have noted it is very important to consider that you cannot put the genie back in the bottle and once she is out you will not be in control. You can make all the rules you want, that doesn't mean they will stick. Neither you nor she know where her desires will take her once she starts truly exploring them. And at that point if you try to restrain her she will end up resenting it and/or do whatever she wants anyway.

 

[SlutAddicted]

As others have noted it is very important to consider that you cannot put the genie back in the bottle and once she is out you will not be in control. You can make all the rules you want, that doesn't mean they will stick. Neither you nor she know where her desires will take her once she starts truly exploring them. And at that point if you try to restrain her she will end up resenting it and/or do whatever she wants anyway.

I have learned to revel in the experience of discovering where her desires will lead her because you are absolutely correct there is no controlling where that will lead.

In fact, I would say to any man interested in this path, think about something she might do that would make you uncomfortable. Now bank on that happening and see if you are still enthusiastic about this idea.

 

[sundown1]

I'd love to hear stories of how a guy was able to convince his wife to invite another man into the bedroom. My wife is inher late 40's super good shape and Loves, Loves Loves for me to tell her stories during sex of having a stranger or two fuck her. She cums super hard. I've tried several times to get her to let me bring a guy into the mix, younger and well hung to make her fantasy come true. She agrees during sex but as soona she cums she says she doesn't want to make it a "real life" thing. We literlaly talk about it almost evertime we fuck. She even tells me during sex she wants to fuck someone in front of me. She likes to also have me tell her stories of her eating pussy and haveing her pussy licked by another women.. The thought of seeing her and joining in when she is in so much pleasure is incredibly hot.

Please share your expereinces with me on how you go your wife to agree to pleasure you, and a guy or two.
Thanks!

Welcome to my world, slutty as he'll listening to my stories, squirting, and cumming at certain details. After, nope. I've had her in an ABS, and she actually showed her tits to a guy, but hard to get her back to one. We even talk about that time, and she gets off. Now and then she'll tell of a man she saw, and use him in our play. If it was the right situation, and she was tipsy, she'd do it. All our life, it's like she wants be able to blame something else. Like if she did it, and liked it, she'd say the alcohol made her do it.

 

[Sgts19]

We had been involved with another cpl for many years then parted ways for a time. During our break with them I admitted to my wife I was going to end up fucking my workout partner, looking back I should have she was smokin hot. We talked about it and agreed to check into swinging. I made a profile and placed it on SLS. We got many emails wanting to meet. I think we probably met 3 cpls for a drink and to ask questions about the whole swinging thing and how it worked. We ended up not doing anything with those 3 cpls to pushy not our type of people. No commitment except to meet, ask questions see if they're a good match for you.

 

[Lovethefox]

Some fantasies are better left as just that.

 

[Beachsyrf]

It’s been a while since I weighed in on this topic so I thought I’d check in with an update … was enjoying a session of extended foreplay with my gf last night and I once again suggested the possibility of expanding our sex life to possibly include another man (or men) in various ways or scenarios …. she asked how and under what circumstances we could accomplish this ….. I told her I thought a good first go at it would be the Happy Ending massage scenario ….

I told her about Hedonism and other places in Jamaica which cater to couples in search of such activities. I painted the scene of a large, strong black man (we are white) who would understand that she was receptive to an erotic, no restrictions massage. She asked if I would be present, watching. I said, “No, I’d want you to be free and unencumbered in your physical response & reciprocity …. I told her that at some point during her massage her towel would disappear as would her masseur’s shorts …. I described his thick, long black cock, half erect and brushing against her skin …. his big balls swaying back and forth in the heat. She asked me if it would have a big, protruding mushroom head, the kind she loves. “Of course”, I said … “and leaking precum” ….

I told her it was only a matter of time (and completely natural) until she reached out for it, stroked it ….. took it in her mouth …. And she knows as well as I do that when she sucks cock, she gets VERY wet and horny. I told her that my being there would only serve as a deterrent to what we both wanted. I must admit I would love to watch the joy and pleasure she would experience as her slowly worked his big dick into her wet and eager pussy. But I told her that this was very her unbridled pleasure, surrendering to her lust without worrying about me. I did tell her it would be sublimely agonizing waiting for her to return to our room but that I would look forward to her return, waiting to hear all about it and gently licking her sore and well-used pussy.

I told her about the Stag Vixen lifestyle, how much I adore her and how she deserves this type of pleasure, from time to time. I reminded her about when we met and I knew she was fucking several different guys and how much that turned me on. I could see her thinking back and making the connection of those early lustful days. I told her that I love her in many ways but that I also love “slutty-her” ….. and I asked her if she really thought that it was practical that she would only ever have sex with me for the rest of her life. She asked me if her having sex with others was ok, if she told me about it. I said, “It’s not cheating if I know about it ….. “. We can try it and see …..

…… I no longer “think” she’s receptive; I fully expect that one night in bed she’s going to say “Well, It happened ….”

Btw; and at least I have given this some thought; I’m pretty sure the best way to do this would be during some tropical holiday environment with an interesting and interested stranger. Probably just oral but certainly a condom if there’s fucking involved. I suppose there would be some kissing but I’ve read differing perspectives on that …. too personal or intimate or, all in ….

One time at Little Beach on Maui we took a walk away from the beach through the bushes along the volcanic rocks. We were looking for a spot to have some sort of sex but the rocks were kinda sharp & we hadn’t brought a towel and we were nude, wearing only flip flops (slippa’s) …. There was a guy (clothed) standing about 20 feet away, watching us. He knew what we were up to. He wasn’t creepy, per se’, but it was a mood-kill.

My gf sometimes brings that up & we pretty much agree that if he had been nude & hot we would have proceeded ….. I’ve asked if she would have blown him too & she said “Maybe …. “.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

I'd love to hear stories of how a guy was able to convince his wife to invite another man into the bedroom. My wife is inher late 40's super good shape and Loves, Loves Loves for me to tell her stories during sex of having a stranger or two fuck her. She cums super hard. I've tried several times to get her to let me bring a guy into the mix, younger and well hung to make her fantasy come true. She agrees during sex but as soona she cums she says she doesn't want to make it a "real life" thing. We literlaly talk about it almost evertime we fuck. She even tells me during sex she wants to fuck someone in front of me. She likes to also have me tell her stories of her eating pussy and haveing her pussy licked by another women.. The thought of seeing her and joining in when she is in so much pleasure is incredibly hot.

Please share your expereinces with me on how you go your wife to agree to pleasure you, and a guy or two.
Thanks!

Convince ? What makes you think she hasn't had other guys in your bedroom ?

 

[Yeahbodie0bb4]

I'd love to hear stories of how a guy was able to convince his wife to invite another man into the bedroom. My wife is inher late 40's super good shape and Loves, Loves Loves for me to tell her stories during sex of having a stranger or two fuck her. She cums super hard. I've tried several times to get her to let me bring a guy into the mix, younger and well hung to make her fantasy come true. She agrees during sex but as soona she cums she says she doesn't want to make it a "real life" thing. We literlaly talk about it almost evertime we fuck. She even tells me during sex she wants to fuck someone in front of me. She likes to also have me tell her stories of her eating pussy and haveing her pussy licked by another women.. The thought of seeing her and joining in when she is in so much pleasure is incredibly hot.

Please share your expereinces with me on how you go your wife to agree to pleasure you, and a guy or two.
Thanks!

Hopefully you'll get there sometime. I haven't had that experience either, but i have a friend that goes out with bf and they find a guy for her to do while he watches/jerk it than usually he then has sex with her after. Sometimes turns into mfm.

 

[truman2005]

From someone who's been the other guy, I'd advise you to leave it be. She's already said she's not into it outside of the proverbial throes and wants to leave it as a fantasy, thereby setting her boundaries. Internally, she probably realizes the potential pitfalls and maybe doesn't even trust herself. Who knows. But I've seen women who were reluctant and wanted no part of it get pushed and pushed by their husbands until they finally just give in, but the experience changes them and they never come back. Oftentimes, the marriage is over.

Not saying that anything is definite or that would happen with y'all, but it's the old adage be careful what you wish for. Maybe just enjoy the fantasy together.

Good insight. I’m in the fantasy stage with wife. She’s quite sexy but don’t want her to do it for me

 

[WildFireTN]

Wifey is a hot, sexual woman. She is not really interested in another man in our bedroom, I am open and encourage her to explore. I would like to see her bring another to our bedroom. Hot!

 

[808guy]

All great advice and advice I wish I and known from the very first day I hinted to my beloved wife of my perverted, demented desires of watching her being serviced, ravished by another man or men!!!

Unfortunately I didn't know these things or I would and taken a more different route or strategy in sharing said desires, been much more patient and allow her to be in "the driver seat " so to speak . She's frowned upon my kink due to her strict Roman Catholic upbringing which is understandable.

Nowadays I simply keep these dirty thoughts and outrageous scenarios in the dark side of my brain

Your wife is def sexy as fuck. Love to see more of her.

 

[daystate]

As others have noted it is very important to consider that you cannot put the genie back in the bottle and once she is out you will not be in control. You can make all the rules you want, that doesn't mean they will stick. Neither you nor she know where her desires will take her once she starts truly exploring them. And at that point if you try to restrain her she will end up resenting it and/or do whatever she wants anyway.

You can't put the shit back in the donkey