How to convince my wife to allow another man in our BDR?

[Explore77]

I'd love to hear stories of how a guy was able to convince his wife to invite another man into the bedroom. My wife is inher late 40's super good shape and Loves, Loves Loves for me to tell her stories during sex of having a stranger or two fuck her. She cums super hard. I've tried several times to get her to let me bring a guy into the mix, younger and well hung to make her fantasy come true. She agrees during sex but as soona she cums she says she doesn't want to make it a "real life" thing. We literlaly talk about it almost evertime we fuck. She even tells me during sex she wants to fuck someone in front of me. She likes to also have me tell her stories of her eating pussy and haveing her pussy licked by another women.. The thought of seeing her and joining in when she is in so much pleasure is incredibly hot.

Please share your expereinces with me on how you go your wife to agree to pleasure you, and a guy or two.
Thanks!

 

[Badguy4u]

Take her to a bar, get her a little drunk, have a guy or two hit on her, maybe dance with her, massage her legs, and seduce her, then go back to a nearby hotel/motel and both of you use her. Get the hotel/motel in advance.

 

[Dmiller85001]

Would she ease into the idea of a threesome better with a woman (you mentioned discussing both)? Maybe it would be easier if there’s someone she knows and likes - a friend of hers, or yours, who you could make an excuse to have over for dinner or something and see where things lead? They would have to be on board in advance and actively try to seduce her.

 

[Explore77]

Take her to a bar, get her a little drunk, have a guy or two hit on her, maybe dance with her, massage her legs, and seduce her, then go back to a nearby hotel/motel and both of you use her. Get the hotel/motel in advance.

Funny, that's exactly what I've used in some of the fantasies I tell her while we fuck. Thanks.

 

[Explore77]

Would she ease into the idea of a threesome better with a woman (you mentioned discussing both)? Maybe it would be easier if there’s someone she knows and likes - a friend of hers, or yours, who you could make an excuse to have over for dinner or something and see where things lead? They would have to be on board in advance and actively try to seduce her.

I do think it might be easier with a girl, but when shes drunk she really loves the idea of sucking off a stranger. who know...LOL. I'd just like for either one to happen.

 

[Dreamer110]

Never had anyone in our bedroom. Found other places to play.

 

[positiveflirt]

The choice is ultimately hers but I'd say you're taking the best first steps by talking to her about it. Maybe she'll come around in time.
A fantasy is just that, and it sounds like she'd much rather play out that fantasy with you (who she trusts) than a random actual extra human. Which is kinda cool that she's that open. From what you say, it sounds like she's really, really into what you two have going on

 

[Explore77]

The choice is ultimately hers but I'd say you're taking the best first steps by talking to her about it. Maybe she'll come around in time.
A fantasy is just that, and it sounds like she'd much rather play out that fantasy with you (who she trusts) than a random actual extra human. Which is kinda cool that she's that open. From what you say, it sounds like she's really, really into what you two have going on

Thanks! Yes that pretty much sums it up. Great Sex life and I'm always pushing the boundries ever so slightly.

 

[Dreamer110]

Thanks! Yes that pretty much sums it up. Great Sex life and I'm always pushing the boundries ever so slightly.

That's how I went about it. It took quite awhile but eventually she came around. Well worth it.

 

[Explore77]

That's how I went about it. It took quite awhile but eventually she came around. Well worth it.

Good to know. Thanks.

 

[magic_rat]

Get real. She's obviously given it consideration, she's set boundaries. Be happy with what you have.

 

[gtnlynn]

My wife found her sex partners at work among the sales reps and others who called on her medical office. We did go to bars when we were on vacation in other cities and let her sit at the bar alone. She got lots of offer for sex, but we never let her leave the bar with anyone. I'm sure she could have found sex partners there.

 

[Explore77]

Get real. She's obviously given it consideration, she's set boundaries. Be happy with what you have.

Ha ha.

 

[AlexBailey]

I was a toy for a married couple when I was 19. Their story was that the husband was interested in having someone for them to play with. He was thinking about having another woman but he was open minded when the wife chose me.

 

[One_ping_only]

I'd love to hear stories of how a guy was able to convince his wife to invite another man into the bedroom. My wife is inher late 40's super good shape and Loves, Loves Loves for me to tell her stories during sex of having a stranger or two fuck her. She cums super hard. I've tried several times to get her to let me bring a guy into the mix, younger and well hung to make her fantasy come true. She agrees during sex but as soona she cums she says she doesn't want to make it a "real life" thing. We literlaly talk about it almost evertime we fuck. She even tells me during sex she wants to fuck someone in front of me. She likes to also have me tell her stories of her eating pussy and haveing her pussy licked by another women.. The thought of seeing her and joining in when she is in so much pleasure is incredibly hot.

Please share your expereinces with me on how you go your wife to agree to pleasure you, and a guy or two.
Thanks!

I wish I had an answer for you brother because I've been seeking exactly the same as you are?!? The times I've even hinted in " spicing up or exploring " such possibilities ........ all I've gotten was a roll of the eyes and a punch in the arm aaaand a NOOOO FUUUCKING WAAAY I quit asking years ago and just leave such a fantasy in the dark corner of my perverted mind!!

 

[bjlatx]

It took 10 years of my wife and I talking and fantasizing about it before she finally decided she wanted to make it real. We started a little over a year ago and she’s had sex with 12 different men. She has a few regulars and one she considers a boyfriend. We are both very glad she decided to give it a try.

 

[J_Bone]

From someone who's been the other guy, I'd advise you to leave it be. She's already said she's not into it outside of the proverbial throes and wants to leave it as a fantasy, thereby setting her boundaries. Internally, she probably realizes the potential pitfalls and maybe doesn't even trust herself. Who knows. But I've seen women who were reluctant and wanted no part of it get pushed and pushed by their husbands until they finally just give in, but the experience changes them and they never come back. Oftentimes, the marriage is over.

Not saying that anything is definite or that would happen with y'all, but it's the old adage be careful what you wish for. Maybe just enjoy the fantasy together.

 

[Explore77]

From someone who's been the other guy, I'd advise you to leave it be. She's already said she's not into it outside of the proverbial throes and wants to leave it as a fantasy, thereby setting her boundaries. Internally, she probably realizes the potential pitfalls and maybe doesn't even trust herself. Who knows. But I've seen women who were reluctant and wanted no part of it get pushed and pushed by their husbands until they finally just give in, but the experience changes them and they never come back. Oftentimes, the marriage is over.

Not saying that anything is definite or that would happen with y'all, but it's the old adage be careful what you wish for. Maybe just enjoy the fantasy together.

Thanks.

 

[FlirtyWordy]

I took the long, slow, steady route, slowly introducing the idea into our fantasy play and helping her connect to her deepest erotic self to make a connection.

I never pushed, but occasionally mentioned, for literal years. Then in a few moments of ecstasy, I would say things like, "Oh god, you are so hot, my hot wife, fuck I know every guy wants you" (they kind of do!) "and it excited me so much to think about it."

None of this is manipulation, just gradually folding in ideas and words. Eventually, she acknowledged that the idea turned her on. But like so many wives, she said it was just fantasy.

Eventually, however, through fantasy, I realized something: For my wife, a stranger wouldn't be fun at all, at least to start with. It would have to be someone she knew, liked and trusted.

With that information, I whispered to her a couple of times about her former bf, and reminded her how she had cheated on her former husband with him. She got VERY wet indeed, so I continued that line.

Her friend in our old city got divorced (finally, from a jerk) and they talk sex all the time. The friend wants my wife to visit a place called the Scarlet Ranch with her, and at least flirt (hopefully more!). The friend also told the ex-bf that my wife was interested in re-connecting ("Isn't she married?" he asked — "Yes!" the friend said, "but C is into it!").

So I planted the idea of her taking a "sex vacation" to visit her friend this summer. She can visit the "ranch" AND hook up with her ex-bf. Yes, we have discussed expectations and ground rules, most importantly that this is for US and our solid foundation as a couple.

Guess what? She booked flights for July!

I'm worried I'll be hard the whole time until then.

 

[KatieDoes]

Take her to a bar, get her a little drunk, have a guy or two hit on her, maybe dance with her, massage her legs, and seduce her, then go back to a nearby hotel/motel and both of you use her. Get the hotel/motel in advance.

This is absolutely horrendous advice. This is a spectacular way to lose your wife’s trust, and most likely lose your wife. You’d deserve it, too.

 

[KatieDoes]

I'd love to hear stories of how a guy was able to convince his wife to invite another man into the bedroom. My wife is inher late 40's super good shape and Loves, Loves Loves for me to tell her stories during sex of having a stranger or two fuck her. She cums super hard. I've tried several times to get her to let me bring a guy into the mix, younger and well hung to make her fantasy come true. She agrees during sex but as soona she cums she says she doesn't want to make it a "real life" thing. We literlaly talk about it almost evertime we fuck. She even tells me during sex she wants to fuck someone in front of me. She likes to also have me tell her stories of her eating pussy and haveing her pussy licked by another women.. The thought of seeing her and joining in when she is in so much pleasure is incredibly hot.

Please share your expereinces with me on how you go your wife to agree to pleasure you, and a guy or two.
Thanks!

I’m an actual woman, and one who has had a threesome with my husband and another man.

Don’t ’convince’ her. Don’t coerce her. Don’t manipulate her. Don’t make her sexual experience about you. Don’t take the absolutely ignorant advice of booking a hotel room and getting her impaired enough to do something she doesn’t want to do.

Women fly our happy little freak flags when we feel safe to do so. So make her feel safe. Fucking LISTEN to her.

 

[One_ping_only]

I took the long, slow, steady route, slowly introducing the idea into our fantasy play and helping her connect to her deepest erotic self to make a connection.

I never pushed, but occasionally mentioned, for literal years. Then in a few moments of ecstasy, I would say things like, "Oh god, you are so hot, my hot wife, fuck I know every guy wants you" (they kind of do!) "and it excited me so much to think about it."

None of this is manipulation, just gradually folding in ideas and words. Eventually, she acknowledged that the idea turned her on. But like so many wives, she said it was just fantasy.

Eventually, however, through fantasy, I realized something: For my wife, a stranger wouldn't be fun at all, at least to start with. It would have to be someone she knew, liked and trusted.

With that information, I whispered to her a couple of times about her former bf, and reminded her how she had cheated on her former husband with him. She got VERY wet indeed, so I continued that line.

Her friend in our old city got divorced (finally, from a jerk) and they talk sex all the time. The friend wants my wife to visit a place called the Scarlet Ranch with her, and at least flirt (hopefully more!). The friend also told the ex-bf that my wife was interested in re-connecting ("Isn't she married?" he asked — "Yes!" the friend said, "but C is into it!").

So I planted the idea of her taking a "sex vacation" to visit her friend this summer. She can visit the "ranch" AND hook up with her ex-bf. Yes, we have discussed expectations and ground rules, most importantly that this is for US and our solid foundation as a couple.

Guess what? She booked flights for July!

I'm worried I'll be hard the whole time until then.

You're gonna be walking around with a semi hardon for the next few months until she finally goes on that sex vacation!! Once she gets back you may just have a raging hardon for days if not weeks !!!

Congratulations and best wishes to you both!!!

 

[bob53]

Check out local swing clubs that are either onsite or do local motel/hotel take overs.
Most I have been to are well run and no means no. There is no pressure to involve a third unless you both say yes.

 

[magicalmoments]

I'd love to hear stories of how a guy was able to convince his wife to invite another man into the bedroom. My wife is inher late 40's super good shape and Loves, Loves Loves for me to tell her stories during sex of having a stranger or two fuck her. She cums super hard. I've tried several times to get her to let me bring a guy into the mix, younger and well hung to make her fantasy come true. She agrees during sex but as soona she cums she says she doesn't want to make it a "real life" thing. We literlaly talk about it almost evertime we fuck. She even tells me during sex she wants to fuck someone in front of me. She likes to also have me tell her stories of her eating pussy and haveing her pussy licked by another women.. The thought of seeing her and joining in when she is in so much pleasure is incredibly hot.

Please share your expereinces with me on how you go your wife to agree to pleasure you, and a guy or two.
Thanks!

You don't mention how long this sex talk involving others fucking her has been going on. It took my wife 2 years of this type of role playing before she agreed to actually meet other people with a view to real life adventures and then maybe another year before she finally let another guy take her. So prepare for a long term process. Experiment more with different scenarios, find out if she is more turned on by being fucked by random strangers or by guys she knows. Find out if she is turned on more by a single guy or by a gang bang situation. find out how she reacts to an orgy situation. Find out how she reacts to the idea of another a guy watching you and her while he is wanking in front of you, or another couple screwing while you two watch them and they're watching you. She may be open to real life encounters where the other guy/couple are just voyeurs and not actually in physical contact. If she responds well to that then in the couple scenario have the other guy screw her while the wife watches and brings herself off with a toy or something. The more you experiment like this the more she'll reveal of her secret desires. That may help you in moving things forward. One thing is paramount, she has to be the one to make the decision to move to real life encounters. Don't force it.

 

[BiWifeMyrtleBeach]

There is a fine line between fantasy and reality. For some, it is better to leave threesomes in the realm of fantasizing or roleplay. Never force her to do something she does not want to do. That could damage your marriage beyond repair.

In my case I was already bisexual when I met my husband and was willing to share him with another woman from the start. The thought of bringing another man into our bedroom was, honestly something I fantasized about but sexually driven as I am, I was apprehensive how he would feel about that scenario. The ice broke one night while we were fucking and watching a porn movie. Once scene was of a woman being double penetrated by two handsome studs. I was on my hands and knees while he was giving it to me fast and hard from behind. I kept moaning to the guys on screen, "give to her..fuck her harder". Jon slowed bit, and I felt his thumb penetrate my asshole deep. He then asked, if I would like two me on me like that. The scene on screen, and the pleasure my husband was giving me, coaxed the answer, "yesss, fuck yesssss" from me. I remember looking back over my shoulder, thrusting back on him and asking if he would like that too. It was then he confessed he had already jerked off privately, several times, fantasizing about it.

Now in full disclosure, we were not only horny as fuck and but high as hell having smoked weed about an hour before. Nor sure if either of us would have had the courage to confess our desire if we were not stoned, but there it was, the confession of my desire to have two cocks laid out on our marital bed.

Afterwards we talked about it when were straight up. Were we both serious and willing to try it? I remember several times just talking about it, triggered us so much we ended up naked on our couch or bed, with him screwing me, telling me in explicit terms what he wanted him and another man to do to me. Jut know both our orgasms were powerful, very powerful.

It was about six months later, when my husband approached a trusted friend of his about it. Then the fateful night came when these two studs led me to our bedroom, disrobed me of what little I had on and for the next several hours I was like a treated like a sexual queen and a pornstar slut. Once our friends cock was in my pussy, we knew we had crossed a bridge over which we could not return. And for us, we never would. Again, you have to understand our sexual bend and the rules we have willingly established for ourselves. To us, it also eliminates the temptation of cheating behind each others back.

Again, this isn't for everyone though. Being in the swinging lifestyle, we have seen what happens when one partner is "forcing" the other to do something they don't want to do. We have seen marriages and relationships destroyed. That is something you have to weigh into consideration, and be really, really honest with each other.

For others though, it can open up doors of sexual pleasures you did not know were possible. I know it did for us.