Fira is Finished

[Fira]

It has come to my attention that several people that I like and respect have been hurt by the actions of some on this site, whether directly or indirectly.

When I joined, I was under the impression that this site was for adults only. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm back in Junior High with all the backstabbing, two-faced actions, bickering, sniping, bitching, and petty insults.

Lit is an escape from life's REAL dramas and problems for many. However, because there are other REAL people on here, one must remember that their actions and words here often cut , maim, hurt, and even destroy others.

Role Playing is just that...a game, a play. And those friends of mine that I have grown to care about so much have no problem separating the RP stories from who they really are. The personal relationships between the various writers in the lounges, though, are very real to some.

Fira is a character. She is not a REAL person. She has many of the same issues as I do, and many of the same thoughts and feelings, but she is NOT real. She is a pen name. I enjoy playing Fira very much. She actually started out in anther game that she quickly outgrew. I found Lit for her to indulge herself. And she has really enjoyed her time here. Many of the others on this site are in the same situation as I am. We write as someone else, we play as someone else, and many times we forge friendships as this other person that seep into our real lives.

While Fira has enjoyed her foray into the world of Lit, I cannot in all honesty say that I have. I've enjoyed the writing, and I will forever treasure the friendships that I have forged here. But as far as it being a place that I can't wait to get to, can't wait to log into, I have to say...it's lost most of it's appeal to me.

There are those that think it's fun to stoop to childish levels to piss people off. To say things that aren't true to someone that doesn't know any better. To play games with the feelings of others. The little digs to hurt people.

I would like to make a suggestion to all that may possibly read this:

If someone tells you something about someone else that causes you to either dislike or distrust the person being spoken about...don't take them at their word. I have found that there is little to no truth to much of what gets said. If you don't personally know the person being talked about, wait until you get THEIR side of the story before placing a judgement on them. And ask yourself this, "WHY does this person want to speak so negatively about someone I don't even know? WHY are they so intent on getting me to turn my back on someone that I have never had any dealings with? WHAT is in it for THEM?"

I'm an easy person to get along with. I try to befriend everyone. Many times to the detriment of other friendships. But in my mind, if someone can't respect that I don't have an issue with someone they dislike for whatever reason, and that I'm willing to remain friends with both parties, then they aren't much of a friend. I don't mind listening to both sides bitch...just don't ask me to take sides, because it won't happen.

So much of the bullshit that goes on in the lounges and through various chats is nothing more than viscous gossip that is designed to hurt people. I want to urge everyone to stop and think about what you are saying before you say it. Stop and think about what others are saying before you believe it and spread it along. If someone tells you something that is mean or ugly about someone else...go to the other party and ASK them if it's true. Let them know that someone is trying to spread shit about them. Give them a chance to DEFEND themselves before you pass judgement on them.

Due to all the drama on here, and a few Real Life issues, I have decided to remove myself from Lit. Not completely...I will continue the threads that I have as I have time, but I will not be playing in the lounges any longer. I came here looking for fun and friends. And while I have found a lot of both, the drama and the bullshit has gotten to be too much.

For those that wish to "play" with Fira, please PM me. I have no problem enjoying play in private threads, but will no longer visit the public lounges.

 

[Ryo242]

Goodbye Miss Fira.

 

[Apollion]

As one of the people who had made the mistake of starting drama... I wish to apologize to you, Fira. You're right. Lit is a place to have fun, not to turn it into a virtual "Real World".

I hope you enjoy whatever life brings you.

-Apollo.

 

[your_vice]

This is one of the reasons I've found I prefer the more sedate pace of my Lounge thread to that of others. I like chatting with people and learning about them but I won't allow Lit to encroach on too much of my life or worry overmuch about the delicate sensibilities of 'friends' here that I've never met. Most people have a Lit persona that's liberally spiced with whatever character attributes they'd like more of in real life. You can be whoever you want to be here, which is great but which can also allow people to get carried away. Some of the busier lounge threads are now chinese whisper factories and frankly, I'm too old and jaded for the bitchy little mind games some people like to play. There are those who dislike me specifically because I've called them on their bullshit three faced backstabbing and Queen Bee of 'Clowd Nyne' is one of those people, which is why it's no coincidence that many of her cronies actively dislike me for no reason other than that she does. If people are that easily swayed and that bothered about being accepted by a supercilious little clique of users, their acquaintance is really no loss to me. My Lounge thread is welcoming, non-judgemental and requires no prior invitation and acquaintance because that's just not how I prefer to interact with people. I chose the name 'Bad Apple' in part because it's a haven for kinksters but also because I've been accused of being one simply for not going along with a lounge clique's attempt to bitch and bully another user off of the boards, ganging up about 5 on 1 as I recall. Net cliques are perhaps worse than real-life ones because so much is based on malicious gossip and the influence of prolific members, who have wasted enough of their lives here to amass thousands of posts, getting superior about their place. This is an open online community, an anonymous one no less, where people should not be made to feel like there's a social hierarchy and they'll remain at the bottom of it until some stupid clique throws them an invite to a gossipy, insular lounge thread.

I think since the Lounge sub-forum opened it's got a little out of hand and a minority of users are too big for their boots. Once the Lounge forum is older and more people have come and gone things will settle as they do elsewhere and achieve a more natural state of equilibrium. I think some of these invite-only threads however, allow groups of people to develop common views of others that are incorrect and less than charitable. It may be worth the moderators considering whether closed lounge threads are really in the best interest of the SRP forum because I haven't seen them anywhere else on Lit. In the other chat and cafe sub-forums, people can feel free to challenge whatever is posted on threads. Here, negative gossip is allowed to perpetuate because only those who have been invited to a thread feel able to respond on it. In the background behind that are countless pms flying around and things can become blown out of all proportion and distorted beyond all recognition from whatever a disagreement actually started about. I've never seen such a sub-forum for blatant cronyism and I genuinely don't think it's a tenable way to let things continue in the long term.

 

[Ahren1]

For hating drama so much, this is awfully dramatic.