2024 Poetry Challenge Discussion Thread

[Angeline]

Welcome to the 2024 poetry challenge companion thread. Some challenge leaders will welcome discussion in their threads, while others will prefer their threads contain your poems only. In "poem only" threads, feedback, discussion, questions, etc., should take place here in the companion thread.

If you're commenting on a specific challenge or poem here, just make sure to identify it. For example:

Butters, in January challenge A can poems be.......?

Piscator, I really like your poem in March challenge B.....

And so forth.

I'll link this thread in the sign-up thread so you can always find it easily.

If you're interested in signing up to be a challenge leader (we've lots of open slots folks ), you can do that right here.

And if you just want to find out what these challenges are all about here's a link to the original introductory thread.

 

[Tzara]

"The actual challenge threads will be for your poems only. Feedback, discussion, questions, etc., should take place in this thread."

May I opt out of that? I would prefer that comments, questions, and discourse about my particular challenge be embedded in my challenge thread. I'm not sure it would be meaningful to scan through a general comments thread looking for relevant comments on the theme I am thinking about posting. I'd rather the original thread be a focus for questions and comments related to the prompt, if there are any. Not that I am expecting many, or any.

If you want to keep your original rule, that's OK. I'll just change what my challenge will be about.

 

[Angeline]

"The actual challenge threads will be for your poems only. Feedback, discussion, questions, etc., should take place in this thread."

May I opt out of that? I would prefer that comments, questions, and discourse about my particular challenge be embedded in my challenge thread. I'm not sure it would be meaningful to scan through a general comments thread looking for relevant comments on the theme I am thinking about posting. I'd rather the original thread be a focus for questions and comments related to the prompt, if there are any. Not that I am expecting many, or any.

If you want to keep your original rule, that's OK. I'll just change what my challenge will be about.

Yes that makes sense. I was trying to avoid having the poem threads devolve into chatting and losing focus. But I see your point about heaping together discussions about all the challenges in a single thread. I certainly don't want you to change what you're planning. I always look forward to your prompts.

Why don't we leave it up to the challenge leaders as to whether they want poem only threads or threads that include both poems and discussion? That way the leaders can organize their challenges however they work best for them.

I'll fix the threads to clarify that tomorrow.

 

[butters]

Some fantastic early entries into the 2024 Challenge A thread! thanks!

here, in post 3, @29wordsforsnow is the first to lay down an original, interesting piece that surprises me where it leads—which is great Although the subject matter isn't something unknown, the treatment's coming from an angle i've personally not read before and elevates the humanity of the subject matter over the mechanical, though allowing them to act as perfect foils for the other. I was so into the poem, i had to go back and re read it to check all the prompt words had been used since they blended in so perfectly... which is exactly how it should be

 

[29wordsforsnow]

The combination of prompts looked quite difficult at first, but from 'steel'+'compress' the rest just followed, especially after doing some research on the topic.

Why can't any poem be so easy?

 

[butters]

in post 4, here, @Tzara delivers a delicately constructed form poem (please remind me which one) which uses the solidity, shape, shade and weight of the rust-coloured Corton steel box to underscore the emotional pain, yet manages to keep the entire poem on a lighter, more 'therapeutical' path. It speaks more of an acceptance, even a welcoming of an old pain, where despite the compression of a heart, softer growth still sprouts— even in the rain.

again, love the placing of the prompt words; feels effortless and thankyou for the path we readers get to tread (and feel a connection to through our own individual experiences in life)

 

[butters]

The combination of prompts looked quite difficult at first, but from 'steel'+'compress' the rest just followed, especially after doing some research on the topic.

Why can't any poem be so easy?

some groups of words just take us on an easy path, though might prove more difficult for others. Anyway, i really hoped the choices would lead to a myriad of directions...so far, it's working

 

[butters]

@Angeline ...and then we are graced by Angeline's poem Thoughts In A Waiting Room, here post 5.

Relatable to the nth degree, it's as easy to imagine oneself in the narrator's place as it is to see them through the camera lens of the observer. Feels completely honest, without any emotional or poetic subterfuge (as only the best poems manage to portray even if they're entirely an invention), and conveys an utterly human experience that doesn't venture into the neurotic or maudlin.

love the placing of the prompt words, but most of all the escape-to image created by 'the wild lupin/ on Campobello Island'—what a glorious go-to place to side-step anxiety

 

[Angeline]

Butters' January Challenge A is a fun, accessible one. It's like best of the five senses challenge and a same title challenge. It fascinates me to see how different poets take the same five words in really different directions.

Butters your childhood memory is evocative and reminded me of that odd combo of feeling ill but being cosseted in a parent's loving care.

I'm going to wait a while but revisit these five words before the month is up to see if I can write something completely different. I think I can if I give myself some time.

 

[butters]

Butters' January Challenge A is a fun, accessible one. It's like best of the five senses challenge and a same title challenge. It fascinates me to see how different poets take the same five words in really different directions.

Butters your childhood memory is evocative and reminded me of that odd combo of feeling ill but being cosseted in a parent's loving care.

I'm going to wait a while but revisit these five words before the month is up to see if I can write something completely different. I think I can if I give myself some time.

thanks, Angelinadreamer

it's a blend of memories from childhood sickness, but i added in the lupin sky-field and now count it as a memory, too, having seen and experienced it as i wrote

anyone cares to add additional poems, as many as they like...all welcome!

 

[Angeline]

thanks, Angelinadreamer

it's a blend of memories from childhood sickness, but i added in the lupin sky-field and now count it as a memory, too, having seen and experienced it as i wrote

anyone cares to add additional poems, as many as they like...all welcome!

I absolutely think I can write a very different poem using the same five words. I was thinking it would be fun to see what comes of changing how I use them: like use "compress" as a noun in a new poem instead of a verb like in my last one. I'd do that with each word. Maybe...I gotta get out of that waiting room first.

 

[Tzara]

in post 4, here, @Tzara delivers a delicately constructed form poem (please remind me which one)...

It is not, as far as I know, a particular form. I happened to more or less accidentally rhyme "box" and "phlox" and decided to continue the end rhymes across each strophe.

Just me being a goof with words.

 

[butters]

It is not, as far as I know, a particular form. I happened to more or less accidentally rhyme "box" and "phlox" and decided to continue the end rhymes across each strophe.

Just me being a goof with words.

well i plan on reading many more of your 'goofs' this year

 

[butters]

so here we are, the final day of the 5-word prompt challenge

let me first apologise for not giving this discussion thread the attention it requires: issues with snow/frozen pipe/no water/ditch-digging by the county meaning another broken water line and, now, for the past 4 days or so a mind-numbing virus have all eaten into my good intentions. I hope to rectify this within a couple of days and address each entry.

So, for now, thanks to everyone who has posted in the challenge. Been interesting reading which is why i love poetry!

 

[Angeline]

so here we are, the final day of the 5-word prompt challenge

let me first apologise for not giving this discussion thread the attention it requires: issues with snow/frozen pipe/no water/ditch-digging by the county meaning another broken water line and, now, for the past 4 days or so a mind-numbing virus have all eaten into my good intentions. I hope to rectify this within a couple of days and address each entry.

So, for now, thanks to everyone who has posted in the challenge. Been interesting reading which is why i love poetry!

Sorry to hear all the troubles you've endured. I hope you and all the Hill household is feeling better. I've had not one but two, two!, nasty viruses in the past month. That's why I've been a bit less active here than I might have liked. There are some ugly, highly contagious bugs going around in my neck of the woods.

I think we're off to a great start with these challenges. I've read a lot of poetry I've really enjoyed in both of January's threads and am thrilled to see some new folks posting.

 

[JaySecrets]

Loved the 5 word prompt... reminded me of workshops and groups with 10 min prompts. (A great idea for poets, by the way—your most poignant writing will happen in 10 min prompts.) Thanks for that.

 

[JaySecrets]

Also, thanks for the imagist poem prompt. It is a natural fit because for me poetry is about telling the story through the imagery and the rhythm and musicality of words. In the case of the piece composed here I just found it natural to end the lines with "he", the one last on people's minds, the invisible one. The lines where "he" does not end the line are intentionally placed. As is that last line when "the last becomes first".

 

[Angeline]

Welp we've made it to March. Thanks to all who wrote for the February challenges : there are wonderful poems in both threads. Just a reminder that challenge leaders have until the fifth of the month to post the new challenge threads. So in the meantime remember you can always write in the old challenge threads if you're so moved or in any of the ongoing threads.

 

[Lyricalli]

I've added my challenge thread, and since I was the second under March, I made mine Challenge B. I know I haven't been around, but I do have some half-finished poems for the the earlier challenges that I'm determined to add late, hopefully not too long from now. It's been an interesting year so far....

Hope you're all doing well! Thanks for being around and writing, and making this place somewhere I want to wander back to when the world allows.

 

[JaySecrets]

Alec

I still think of you
with your black hair in ringlets,
skin like dark honey, velvet
brown eyes, generous smile
and oh lord the way you moved,
sinuous, palms beating rhythm,
deft, long-fingered hands almost
a blur on those conga drums.

I just meant to have you,
slide my hands on you,
cup your ass and wrap myself
around you so we could rock
that wild samba, pounding together,
in a hot sea of lust.

I put myself in your line of vision,
shook back my hair, cocked my hip
just so you could appreciate
my long waist and thighs, outlined
in low-slung jeans. Of course
you did.

We ended up in a study
in that old country house, far
from the party two floors below
and we fucked like animals in heat,
which we were, few words but moans,
gasps, sighs, rolling
on a Persian rug, the funk of sweat
and sex, the distant beat of music.

Did I see you again? Maybe once
or twice, but we just smiled
in passing. Sometimes it's best
to keep things simple.

Clean lines... Well not CLEAN, but you know what I mean ... And simple storytelling in the most simple yet eloquent of language. Once again you have shown what good poetry does.

 

[JaySecrets]

The Jackal

The Jackal has a sad, lonesome pout.
It opens its mouth wide and shivers, then prances aimlessly towards something for breakfast. It's missing several teeth.

It only has a dollar, which doesn't buy much.
It settles on a piece of cake, but isn't very happy that there isn't any meat in it.

It lays against the ground and bits of sharp gravel poke into its ribs. Its eyes brush gently through the surrounding landscape, after awhile deciding it needs to keep moving.

Its gaze becomes shared with a mischievous rabbit which tumbles wildly out of its burrow into the jackal's slack jaws. The rabbit likes being tickled. The jackal bites into a fresh kill, delighted with its good fortune.

It picks and paws at leisure through the better part of it as night begins to approach. It shuffles to its feet and exits to an overcast sky with a few stars. The dirt is handsome and makes the Jackal faster. It looks right, then left and back behind.

I'll be honest, I'm a little confused by this piece. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the theme for the month.

The story itself is engaging and well structured. Not sure if I would have made it as wordy as it is, but that may just be me on this one.

I will say though that that one line, but the dirt is handsome and makes the jackal faster... That is brilliant. Not my favorite piece but there are some gems inside of this piece. If nothing else, pick those gems out and save them. They will definitely be useful later in other pieces.

 

[JaySecrets]

my thong says: Beware!
This cunt is fanged!
yet still they come

A poem doesn't always have to be serious. Sometimes it can be just something that's a simple well put line that makes someone laugh. Well done.

 

[JaySecrets]

Why are there so few responders on this challenge? This is one that I would have thought people would have jumped on right away. Especially on this site.

 

[Angeline]

Why are there so few responders on this challenge? This is one that I would have thought people would have jumped on right away. Especially on this site.

I think we'll see more responses over the next week or so as people find time to decide how to respond and go for it.

Thank you for your feedback on my poem: I really appreciate it. I kind of want to change that last strophe. The sentiment is true enough but I feel like it cools the poem down, not an effect I want. The poem is very much a first draft so I have to think about an alternate ending.

I like your poem a lot. It has some beautiful, evocative images, but there are a few fumbly lines (like the soul to soul ones) that need editing. And I'm not sure how I feel about anthropomorphic bedsheets. I get what you're trying to to say--the sheets are tied to the narrator's memories of what happened there. And it's strong writing, the narrative of a witness to lust. You could get around it by saying something like

I imagine these sheets still pulse...

Food for thought, anyway.

Thank you for commenting on all the poems. That's a labor of love and it's very good for the forum!

 

[JaySecrets]

I think we'll see more responses over the next week or so as people find time to decide how to respond and go for it.

Thank you for your feedback on my poem: I really appreciate it. I kind of want to change that last strophe. The sentiment is true enough but I feel like it cools the poem down, not an effect I want. The poem is very much a first draft so I have to think about an alternate ending.

I like your poem a lot. It has some beautiful, evocative images, but there are a few fumbly lines (like the soul to soul ones) that need editing. And I'm not sure how I feel about anthropomorphic bedsheets. I get what you're trying to to say--the sheets are tied to the narrator's memories of what happened there. And it's strong writing, the narrative of a witness to lust. You could get around it by saying something like

I imagine these sheets still pulse...

Food for thought, anyway.

Thank you for commenting on all the poems. That's a labor of love and it's very good for the forum!

The tripping nature of the soul to soul to soul part of it is very intentional... Remember that at that point you're inside the narrator's mind and he's struggling with the memory even as he embraces it. It needed that moment of internal struggle and clumsiness. Too smooth and it comes across as contrived instead of genuine. And I really don't like to take something like I imagined at the beginning. I do get where you're coming from in you're not being sure about the. How did you put it? Anthromorphic sheets? But again, this is written from inside the narrator's mind, so everything takes on a life of its own. And those sheets with that wine stain start this whole chain of Attraction and struggle. Does that make sense?

Not discounting your input. Just painting a little bit of the picture of why that particular phrasing was used. If you can suggest a better way to do that than what I have there, I'm happy to take the suggestions.