I Don't Want Help With My Love Life

TheeGoatPig

There is no R in my name
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Posts
13,163
I have tried everything and failed at it already. I am doomed to never get laid again. I just want to complain about how lonely I am every few minutes.

I haven't been with a woman in eleven years. Every woman I asked out before and after her has said no. For a while there in my early twenties I was only meeting underage girls, and then in my later twenties I stopped meeting people almost entirely.

1. I refuse to move far away because I am attached to the martial arts school that I attend.

2. It's been eleven years. It's just about the only thing on my mind.

3. I didn't go to university or college. I went to a tech school with over 90% men attending.

4. I do. I'm not afrqaid of them. I have asked out plenty. They have all turned me down.

5. I had a positive attitude up until the ten year mark :(


I did the makeover thing over the last year. Click through my sig links to pics of me over the last two. They change dramatically.

I would settle for a first date. I don't especially care how long it lasts after that at this point seeing as how I haven't been on a first date in nine years, because everyone says no when I ask them out.

I am also a member of E-Harmony and Match, but they both want to hook me up with people who are out of my dating area, or so far away that I wouldn't even want to make a day trip out to see them they are so far away.

Either that or they match me with people who I find overly religious or want children seriously more than I do (I don't think my seed should be spread).

I am doomed to be a born again Virgin, and I am never getting laid again :(
 
I'm not trying to be harsh here, I promise, but it seems that you are concentrating SO MUCH on the sex aspect that maybe that's what women sense, and that's why they say no.

Women are extremely intuitive creatures (most, anyway), and even if they can't put a name to their disquiet, they will sense it if something is "off." If they are sensing that that's all that's important to you right now, then no wonder they say no.

Try focusing on a woman as a person, and not as someone to have sex with. You may be pleasantly surprised. We are people, after all.
 
cloudy said:
I'm not trying to be harsh here, I promise, but it seems that you are concentrating SO MUCH on the sex aspect that maybe that's what women sense, and that's why they say no.

Women are extremely intuitive creatures (most, anyway), and even if they can't put a name to their disquiet, they will sense it if something is "off." If they are sensing that that's all that's important to you right now, then no wonder they say no.

Try focusing on a woman as a person, and not as someone to have sex with. You may be pleasantly surprised. We are people, after all.
Either that or sing that classic by Kevin (Bloody) Wilson to them -

Do you fuck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Can I feel yer tits?
Or would you show um too me?

You have a nice ass.
And I'll be very honest.
Me face is leaving in quarter of an hour.
I want you to be on it.


And it goes on...
 
Good thing you've found a good porn site.


(Sorry, I've been lurking GB a bit and some of it's rubbed off - couldn't help myself. :devil: )
 
cloudy said:
I'm not trying to be harsh here, I promise, but it seems that you are concentrating SO MUCH on the sex aspect that maybe that's what women sense, and that's why they say no.

Women are extremely intuitive creatures (most, anyway), and even if they can't put a name to their disquiet, they will sense it if something is "off." If they are sensing that that's all that's important to you right now, then no wonder they say no.

Try focusing on a woman as a person, and not as someone to have sex with. You may be pleasantly surprised. We are people, after all.

Sex is always on my mind but I always make sure to treat women as people.

One of the troubles is that I'm the "nice guy ".
 
TheeGoatPig said:
Sex is always on my mind but I always make sure to treat women as people.

One of the troubles is that I'm the "nice guy ".

Honestly? I've never read you bemoaning the fact that you don't have a relationship, only the fact that you're not having sex. To me, that's very telling.
 
Roxanne Appleby said:
Good thing you've found a good porn site.


(Sorry, I've been lurking GB a bit and some of it's rubbed off - couldn't help myself. :devil: )

Too bad I'm too depressed to masturbate some days :(
 
cloudy said:
Honestly? I've never read you bemoaning the fact that you don't have a relationship, only the fact that you're not having sex. To me, that's very telling.

That's because this is a porn site ;)

Honestly, sex would be great and all, but I would settle for a girlfriend who just likes to cuddle at this point. Any kind of physical conteact would be 100% more contact than I get at this point in my life. Intimate contact would be even better. I'm in a desert of loneliness, and any oasis would be greatly appreciated.

If I go on and on about sex, it's because I'm on the internet where I have porn at my fingertips 24/7.
 
Join a club where there are reasonable numbers of both men and women. Pick an activity you like and you have already met women with at least one similar interest.

Go to the public library. There are a lot of not bad looking women at the public library and they are pretty much socially inept. You will get a lot more yesses than nos when you try for a date.

Go to the nastiest bar in town and wait for some ass hole to diss you. Kick the crap out of him and take his bitch. [Never give your right name, some of the bitches are predatory. Try Raoul.] By the way, if you notice an average sized white guy they call Willie Green, you done picked the wrong bar.

Just out of curiousity, what kind of martial arts school?
 
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R. Richard said:
Join a club where there are reasonable numbers of both men and women. Pick an activity you like and you have already met women with at least one similar interest.

Go to the public library. There are a lot of not bad looking women at the public library and they are pretty much socially inept. You will get a lot more yesses than nos when you try for a date.

Go to the nastiest bar in town and wait for some ass hole to diss you. Kick the crap out of him and take his bitch. [Never give your right name, some of the bitches are predatory. Try Raoul.] By the way, if you notice an average sized white guy they call Willie Green, you done picked the wrong bar.

Just out of curiousity, what kind of martial arts school?

Shaolin Long Fist kung fu.
 
You want a woman in your area, you don't want her too religious or interested immediately in marriage/kids. Okay, so far so good. We assume you want her breathing.

Any other requirements? Age limit? Looks?

Putting it another way: do you date fat girls? Do you date older women? If they've got a pulse...does it matter if they're ugly (I don't mean repulsive, just not the most attractive)? Would you date a woman out of your area if she was willing to come to you rather than making you come to her?

It matters because there are places where you can go and find women (non-religious, etc.) who want a guy--but they may be older than you, and they may not be the most attractive ladies. Are there any other limits we need to know about?

First thing I'd tell you--if the above do not constitute limits on your search...go to a Science Fiction convention. I say this a lot--and most of the time, the answer I get is, "Well, I would...but...."

*Shrug* I'm not sure why no one takes this advice seriously. There are single, eager women at such conventions. They may wear glasses and be overweight, they may want to talk about Battlestar Galactica, but most of them are not stupid, not overly religious, and most are as interested in finding a guy as you are in finding a girl.

I'm going to assume I'll be getting a "but" from you for this unsolicited advice, but there it is. No kidding, no joke.
 
TheeGoatPig said:
If I go on and on about sex, it's because I'm on the internet where I have porn at my fingertips 24/7.

Maybe you should get off the computer and do something interesting. You might be surprised at how chicks like men who do interesting things.
 
*burp*

Step 1. Prostitutes...

It gets the smell of desparate off you.


Step 2. A theatre group type activity.

Theatric girls fuck... a lot.

I was in a years long funk myself; did a theatre thing as a fluke and let me tell you... little sweetie killed the born-again virgin thing in a heartbeat.

Step 3. Get female friends... hunt in their group of friends.

Seriously... I LUV the words "I just want to be friends.".

'Cause it's open season on her friends... you get to out with Girl 1 as 'friends' and they'll bring their friends alongs.

----

Granted I'm a little cold blooded, but I'd like to point out I'm not offering help on love-life... but getting laid is easy.
 
3113 said:
You want a woman in your area, you don't want her too religious or interested immediately in marriage/kids. Okay, so far so good. We assume you want her breathing.

Any other requirements? Age limit? Looks?

Putting it another way: do you date fat girls? Do you date older women? If they've got a pulse...does it matter if they're ugly (I don't mean repulsive, just not the most attractive)? Would you date a woman out of your area if she was willing to come to you rather than making you come to her?

It matters because there are places where you can go and find women (non-religious, etc.) who want a guy--but they may be older than you, and they may not be the most attractive ladies. Are there any other limits we need to know about?

First thing I'd tell you--if the above do not constitute limits on your search...go to a Science Fiction convention. I say this a lot--and most of the time, the answer I get is, "Well, I would...but...."

*Shrug* I'm not sure why no one takes this advice seriously. There are single, eager women at such conventions. They may wear glasses and be overweight, they may want to talk about Battlestar Galactica, but most of them are not stupid, not overly religious, and most are as interested in finding a guy as you are in finding a girl.

I'm going to assume I'll be getting a "but" from you for this unsolicited advice, but there it is. No kidding, no joke.

My requirements for the woman I will go out with:
Over 18 years old. I will not go to jail over some child wanting to get even with mommy/daddy.
Attractive. Not knock out, but reasonably fit. Somewhere between bone thin and pleasantly plump would be nice. I'm not that picky about looks.
She has to show interest in me as well. I won't go after someone who ignores me.
Has to be a woman. There is nothing attractive about men.

Other than that, I tend to look at younger women because the older women around here appear to all be married. Hell, most of the younger women around here have been wearing engagement/wedding wings lately.

Most of the women I meet are waitresses at the places I get takeout from.

I don't like science fiction conventions. I tend to be more inclined to like musicians, but that isn't imperative.
 
TheeGoatPig said:
That's because this is a porn site ;)

Mistake number one: this is NOT a porn site. It is an erotica site. HUGE difference. We flirt a lot on here, but think about it: how many threads are there here that are about sex, and thats all? I challenge you to find just one.

If I go on and on about sex, it's because I'm on the internet where I have porn at my fingertips 24/7.

Mistake number two: how do you think you're going to meet a woman if you're always at home on the 'net? Do what carson says - he's got it goin' on.

...and, for god's sake, move out of your parent's home!
 
carsonshepherd said:
Maybe you should get off the computer and do something interesting. You might be surprised at how chicks like men who do interesting things.

Most of my computer time is at work, or at night when I am winding down from the day before bed. It hasn't been taking up much time due to my martial arts training.

The last year I have been playing poker in a bar as well, but somehow I play at the bar with the least ammount of famale patrons in the tri-state area :(
 
elsol said:
*burp*

Step 1. Prostitutes...

It gets the smell of desparate off you.


Step 2. A theatre group type activity.

Theatric girls fuck... a lot.

I was in a years long funk myself; did a theatre thing as a fluke and let me tell you... little sweetie killed the born-again virgin thing in a heartbeat.

Step 3. Get female friends... hunt in their group of friends.

Seriously... I LUV the words "I just want to be friends.".

'Cause it's open season on her friends... you get to out with Girl 1 as 'friends' and they'll bring their friends alongs.

----

Granted I'm a little cold blooded, but I'd like to point out I'm not offering help on love-life... but getting laid is easy.

Step 1. No.

Step 2. I can't act. I've tried. I can't.

Step 3. I can't even get that. I always end up being the outsider.
 
cloudy said:
Mistake number one: this is NOT a porn site. It is an erotica site. HUGE difference. We flirt a lot on here, but think about it: how many threads are there here that are about sex, and thats all? I challenge you to find just one.



Mistake number two: how do you think you're going to meet a woman if you're always at home on the 'net? Do what carson says - he's got it goin' on.

...and, for god's sake, move out of your parent's home!

There was a wink there. That means I was kidding, or being light-hearted ;)
 
TheeGoatPig said:
Step 1. No.

Then I would suggest someone more on the plump side of things than the pleasant thing... same effect of getting the desparate washed off.

(What?!? I said I was cold blooded about sex.)

Step 2. I can't act. I've tried. I can't.

They can't either... that's not the point.

The point is actually being in a situation where artistic people are feeling 'artistic'... there's a certain euphoria to the end of closing night which is on the ecstasy side of things.

Step 3. I can't even get that. I always end up being the outsider.

*shrug*

Girls are easy to get to know and become friends... let them talk and pay attention.

----

It don't matter though, does it?

You seem to be enjoying the wallowing :)

Like I said, I was there and after awhile it became obvoius that I was also enjoying the wallowing in no-nookie; after I got past whatever was making me avoid physical intimacy, the sex came.
 
Speaking as a life-long woman- who has been desperate herself at times in my life-
You should REALLY listen to Elsol.

Prostitute- yes. Go for an escort service, or a lap dance, or a massage service- There are some wonderful women around, that act just like real women. I've dated three prostitutes, and one of them, my husband and I would have moved her in with us, she was that good of a person.

You don't have to act to be in an acting group. And you can always ask someone for coaching help ;)

AS devoted as you are to your Martial Arts, my friend, you aren't going to meet women there. For some reason, they just aren't impressed by Kung Fu.

On the other hand, though, if you were able to teach a nice, gentle Tai Quan Do class in the YWCA, you might meet one or two devoted pupils.

And DON't make the assumption that all the older women are married- many of them are divorced. Many of them are divorced because their husband wanted a younger wife.

Look at women past that age of "older" (which seems to be 42 in America.) 48 year olds are out there too... 50 year-olds.
 
And oh yeah...

Write sex stories in the first person and inject yourself into the story. You'd be surprised at the number of women who want to meet you.

And no joke, REALLY hot ones too!

Seriously, women who in real life I would take a look at and think "Not even in my fantasy league."

[*errrrr* Not that I, personally, have any experience with this, of course.]
 
TheeGoatPig said:
Step 2. I can't act. I've tried. I can't.
Hint: That's the best kind. What community theatres and other similar groups ache for is NOT people who can act, but people who can do all the other stuff they need so THEY can act. I've been working witha local group as a sound and light guy, project leader, and recently as a director (since I wrote the damn thing they played).

Finding women, dates, sex, et al or not, that's still a golden tip from me on how to expand your social life to new and fun, outgoing people.
 
You don't want help so I won't offer any.


In my experience making friends online worked for me. I made loads of friends and also happened to find the guy who is now my husband. We lived a good 2 hours by train and bus away from each other but we visited each other weekly even though it involved expense and lots of travelling. Seeing each other mattered more than anything else.
 
I know It's Your Thread, but . . .

In a way, I can feel for you, TGP. I was never the kind of guy who overtly attracted women. I always had to make the first move. I was nervous and awkward and a little too skittish. It was a while before I figured out 'what worked.'

That being said . . . stand up, will you? You're advertising your desperation on an adult website when, frankly, most women don't want to hear about how sad you are. You've got the strength within you, man, use it!

Looks and money have nothing when it compares to charisma and confidence. Don't worry about a physical makeover; concentrate on a psychological one. I've seen fat, ugly guys walk into a bar and walk out with Miss November while the pretty boys stay hanging around the dance floor.

Now, me, I've been engaged a few times and married once. I lost my wife almost four years ago. For a while, I figured I would spend the rest of my life alone.

I've changed my mind. I think I'm gonna start looking for a girlfriend.
 
The other reason I LUV "I just want to be friends." is 'cause I ain't gone out with a girl who wasn't my friend first.

I find time around them is the most important factor in actually getting into a woman's pants, which is why so many people meet at the workplace.

A cold call is tough... I never got why guy's even bothered.
 
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