The Female Gaze

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

The Bride of Frankenstein?


Why Is “Bride Of Frankenstein” Often Analyzed As A Gay Parable?

That was really interesting. I'd somehow managed never to have seen the movie at all, so I don't know what my first impression would have been without reading this, but I'm going to guess that I would have been oblivious to it. It makes me wonder how many other things I miss just because they don't fall within the sexual dynamic to which I'm accustomed.

 

[AlexBailey]

Part of that world...

Hi Sticky,
Whew! You know you’re queer when the combination of lace and snaggled fingernails turns you on!

You're outrageous

I know it's petty, but the 'outrageous' comment has been crossing my mind ever since you posted it. I'm sure it was meant colloquially in a friendly and supportive way, yet it's still been haunting me. A touch of background may help me explain why it does not feel 'outrageous' to me. I also feel that it fits into the conversation of gaze.


I grew up knowing I had interests and proclivities that were different from mainstream society. My religious parents did a pretty thurough job of redirecting me for most of my youth, encouraging me to be interested in girls but not into wearing their clothes. I also have always been a rough-and-tumble guy. This culminated in my interest in tomboys.

My first long-term relationship was with a girl who, other than the three+ years we were together, has always been a lesbian. We were an interesting couple. Our parents went to the same church and were delighted when we hooked up, thinking that us getting together was the answer to their prayers. It's funny now, looking back at old pictures. Although I did not openly cross-dress at the time, she was the more masculine or us two. Our friend group was mainly lesbian activists in the San Francisco bay area. I was accepted by most of the girls but not by some. I definitely felt some resentment directed toward me for a variety of reasons that I had no control over. During that time I had heavy underlying dysphoria about myself.

My girlfriend was into farming and motorcycles, and often had dirty fingernails, as did most of our closest friends. Most of the girls in this group were very friendly with me and did not seem to care how I presented. We eventually broke up because I knew that I wanted to have a family and she did not. Although we rarely see each other now, we're still friends and my wife absolutely loves her. (If you happen to read my stories, 'Sandy' and ‘Jena’ are fictionalized versions of my ex and my wife.)

When I went on to work in the trades and had a family, I buried my femininity under facial hair and work clothes, and made an effort to seem more manly. Over the years I have noticed other men who seem to be hiding parts of themselves in similar ways. Whenever I see little clues or tells of hidden femme traits, it is titillating to me. I think my life long repression has helped contribute to fetishizing my interests.

As I've recently started getting involved in the queer community again after so many years, I've come to it from a different perspective than when I was with my lesbian girlfriend. When I see a man who does not pass in drag, OR a girl with dirty fingernails or whatnot, it triggers something in me. I see them as brave and beautiful from within. I want to embrace that for myself more and more, and I find it incredibly attractive in others.

The same is true for me with transgender people. Reading your (Stickygirl's) recent posts on another thread about being in a female swimming club just blows my mind. Not because I objectify you, but because I deeply admire your strength and will to be your true self, in spite of the crushing pressures of society.

Sticky, I look at you similarly to the way a gushing fan looks at a rockstar. If we ever met, you could wrap me around your little finger. I know that many trans folks have felt fetishized by trans admirers, and I often have to remind myself that it can be very uncomfortable to feel objectified. I wish there were a way to communicate my full sentiments without seeming creepy, but that's the way it usually seems to come across.

That's my 'queer gaze'. I'm sure you didn't mean 'outrageous' in the literal sense, but I just needed to put it out there that it is subtle and nuanced, with lots of vicarious admiration and knowledge that it's got lots of ups and downs and it's not all fun and sexual glorification. Namaste.

 

[stickygirl]

We are so ahead of the curve!

Cheltenham Literature Festival, 11th October, 2pm - 3pm GMT
The Female Gaze

"Determined by age-old power dynamics, artistic practice has long been shaped by the male artist’s world view. Today, a new generation of women is taking the creative world by storm, evolving ideas pioneered by trailblazing artists including Frida Kahlo and Leonor Fini, whose work placed female experience at its heart. Editor-at-Large for Elephant Magazine and presenter of Dior’s Female Gaze podcast series Charlotte Jansen (Girl on Girl), artist, lecturer and Big Art Herstory Project founder Luisa-Maria MacCormack and Grazia UK Fashion Director Kenya Hunt (Girl), consider the powerful potential of the female gaze in art and the media to portray the full spectrum of women’s lives and challenge preconceived notions of gender, beauty, class and race. Chaired by curator and broadcaster Aindrea Emelife."

I am so excited. You can watch live online - there's a link from that page

How cool is that?!