How much dialogue is too much?

[JJ82490]

Dialog can be integral to any good story.

Others here have said it but it's worth repeating. If the dialog advances things, clarifies things, adds to the story, or the emotion, or the drama, then it's never too much.

If it contributes nothing? Cut it.

The contributions from everyone have been super helpful and I have been trying to edit as the helpful hints come in. I think what I am finding is that it is helpful if, as you (and others) have said, it advances and clarifies things. Really appreciate your help

 

[van_delay]

You had me at hello

 

[Djmac1031]

Since we're on the topic;

A particular pet peeve of mine is when writers, especially newer ones, write improper dialog.

I'll try to write an example:

I asked him if he wanted to go to the store. He responded that he did. He then asked me what store we were going to. I told him I needed some things at Walmart.

Please, for the love of writing and storytelling, stop doing this.

It's awful and reads like a grocery list.

It's even worse when authors do it during sex scenes:

I begged him to fuck my pussy. He responded by telling me how good my pussy felt, and that he was gonna cum soon. I told him he was making me cum too, because his dick was so big.

I swear I'm not lying. These stories exist. And they're painful.

 

[Trionyx]

I swear I'm not lying. These stories exist. And they're painful.

You do know you can have your own early works removed, don’t you? Just kidding.

On a more serious note, your observation is sadly true. One writing tool I have found to be useful is the read-aloud review process. Although the voice may sound odd and have poor inflection, hearing what is written helps me find dialog and narratives which don’t work well.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Agreed with much of the above. There’s an old saying - Don’t speak unless you can improve the silence. Dialogue is useful when it’s contributing something to the story. It is, in one sense, like Chekov’s Rifle. Include it when necessary, trim when it is mere verbage.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Well, I did a short story of 4.2k words, which is a transcript of an audio interview. Except for an intro and prologue, it's entirely dialogue. I did it as a bit of an experiment. The reception has been very 'meh' from the readers, sitting at 4.42 stars, 2753 views, 6 favorites, and 2 comments after a year. But then again, that category is a dead zone anyway.

 

[StillStunned]

There are some writers - published writers included - who fall in love with their characters and seem to want to live every moment of their lives, write every word of their dialogue. They probably consider it "exploring the characters" but the truth is that they're just playing out a crush on a fictional character.

Some readers like it, but to me it's a sign that the writer doesn't care about the story or the readers, only about the characters and their own imaginings.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

There are some writers - published writers included - who fall in love with their characters and seem to want to live every moment of their lives, write every word of their dialogue. They probably consider it "exploring the characters" but the truth is that they're just playing out a crush on a fictional character.

Some readers like it, but to me it's a sign that the writer doesn't care about the story or the readers, only about the characters and their own imaginings.

Then you're readong poor dialog. Dialog should not only serve to give insight into the characters, but to move the story forward. If it doesn't do both, then it's probably superfluous.

 

[Britva415]

I read a story recently with too much dialogue.

The story was 75% quoted speech. I imagine that what the author was going for was "slow burn," building up from meeting to getting-to-know-you through growing attraction through will-they-or-won't-they through frustrated anticipation all the way to finally getting it on.

But it didn't work.

90% of the dialogue didn't achieve any of the above. Maybe in the author's mind it did, or maybe in the author's mind it was there for some other reasons besides the ones I imagined, but they didn't succeed at moving the story forward with all that dialogue.

So, it was too much dialogue for that story. Or at least it wasn't the right dialogue for that story.

I talk about the principle of "stakes" a lot. Most of that dialogue was effectively filler. Kind of like how it's never necessary to show characters using the toilet in movies, even though we know they must have to shit and pee? Because most of the time it would be filler if it were included, and it so isn't, because it doesn't serve the story at all.

Unless it does - then we see it.

That's what reading the dialogue in this particular story was like. My impression was it's like it was just there because the author felt like they were going for "realism" or something and didn't want to ignore the fact that sometimes a connection just takes a while to form, or, it takes a while of longing and waiting together before the opportunity to consummate presents itself.

It's like - "tell, don't show" would have been better than what they did. Still better would have been if they could have achieved using the dialogue to show the tension-and-release of the story. I think they tried but failed. This reader's sense of tension was entirely about "how long is this going to take, to get where it's obviously going."

So it's never about how many words or how much dialogue is the right percentage. It's entirely about what serves the story and makes the story work best. As a draft, there's never too much - as long as one is willing to pare it back to the essential beats when revising. "Why did I write this statement, why is this conversation here, what's its function in the story?"

 

[Britva415]

to me it's a sign that the writer doesn't care about the story or the readers, only about the characters and their own imaginings

To me it's just a sign that they aren't skilled enough or self-aware enough to bring the reader along with their own connection to the character. I mean, sure, narcissists exist, but I don't think that's the explanation for most of these instances.

 

[VallesMarineris]

What are your thoughts on dialogue in general

Let me add a few random (but pithy and well worth reading) thoughts on dialogue:

— One way to tell if your dialogue can stand on its own is to remove the quotes (in a copy!) and even the “he said”/“she said” expressions and see if it still make sense. Quote marks are helpful, but the dialogue should, as it were, speak for itself. See below for an example.

— Another method is to read the dialogue over after you’ve left the story for a while to grow “cold”. If you find yourself skipping over parts, maybe you didn’t need them. Per Elmore Leonard, leave out the parts that readers skip.

— You can also study the masters. Here’s a quick conversation from the beginning of Ulysses:

[Buck Mulligan] laid the [shaving] brush aside and, laughing with delight, cried:
—Will he come? The jejune jesuit!
Ceasing, he began to shave with care.
—Tell me, Mulligan, Stephen said quietly.
—Yes, my love?
—How long is Haines going to stay in this tower?
Buck Mulligan showed a shaven cheek over his right shoulder.
—God, isn't he dreadful? he said frankly. A ponderous Saxon. He thinks you're not a gentleman. God, these bloody English!

Excerpt From
Ulysses
James Joyce
https://books.apple.com/us/book/ulysses/id765151079
This material may be protected by copyright.

Note that Joyce doesn’t use quotes, but you know who is talking and when the talk stops and starts. I’m a bit surprised he even bothers with those dashes.

To get a feel for what real dialogue sounds like, you should read a few pages from Andy Warhol’s novel A. Yes, Andy Warhol wrote a novel . . . sort of. He had a transcript made of his conversations with Ondine, a Warhol star and amphetamine aficionado (you can tell) while they wandered around NYC. It’s nearly pure dialogue, faithful to the characters’ speech (and the typists’ mistakes). You’ll see what real dialogue looks like. Sorry, all the versions I could find were behind paywalls and can’t be copied, but just open a sample in Apple Books or Kindle. “D”, by the way, is Warhol himself, using a nickname Lou Reed gave him.