Couple using condoms every other time

[JohnSm123]

One time, I read a post on another forum, where a woman said something like, "My husband dislikes condoms, because he has to deal with his mess. On the other hand, when we don't use them, I'm the one who has to deal with his mess. So to make it fair we use them every other time."

Unfortunately, I can no longer find that post or that member on that forum.

But I think it's a good idea for a story. A couple using condoms every other time. Who is gonna write it?

 

[Devinter]

Who is gonna write it?

... But little did the wife know, that whilst she was cleaning herself up and throwing her 'half of the mess' away, the husband saved all of the condoms and tied them together for years on end to make an ultimate weapon of mass condomstruction! Then he wields his whip of spunk and playfully attacks his wife with it, who starts wailing that it's unfair because she doesn't have a weapon of equal seediness to defend herself with. The husband then proclaims, "should have saved your half, fool!" and proceeds to conquer her lands, at which point he puts his 'flag' into the 'ground' and screams "FOR BRITANNIA!"

... ... ... Yeah, I probably shouldn't write it.

 

[JohnSm123]

... But little did the wife know, that whilst she was cleaning herself up and throwing her 'half of the mess' away, the husband saved all of the condoms and tied them together for years on end to make an ultimate weapon of mass condomstruction! Then he wields his whip of spunk and playfully attacks his wife with it, who starts wailing that it's unfair because she doesn't have a weapon of equal seediness to defend herself with. The husband then proclaims, "should have saved your half, fool!" and proceeds to conquer her lands, at which point he puts his 'flag' into the 'ground' and screams "FOR BRITANNIA!"

... ... ... Yeah, I probably shouldn't write it.

Do it.

 

[DarkSollat]

Sry, but the premise makes no sense to me, because of possible pregnancy. If they don't want kids, she has to be on the pill anyway, so why they even bother with condoms?

 

[JohnSm123]

Sry, but the premise makes no sense to me, because of possible pregnancy. If they don't want kids, she has to be on the pill anyway, so why they even bother with condoms?

I'd like to ask that woman on the other forum about that, but I can no longer find her. Bummer.

 

[33RPMVinylPants]

What's the hook? What's the conflict? What's the story?

The premise "neither of us wants to clean up the cum" could be interesting, as they have to get creative on the days it's their turn to get stuck with it, but I'm not really seeing it.

Or you could go with a poly trio, where two of the partners are competing to make the guy cum in/on the other one - Like it's a race to edge the guy so that you're not the one in the line of fire... There might be something there for a lighthearted short story.

But if the "alternating days when you have to use a rubber" is absolutely critical, I don't know if that's enough of a premise to hang an interesting story on.

 

[la_ruche]

We use condoms when in situations where going to the bathroom would disturb others or the smell and mess of cum would be too embarrassing. Recent example - hiking trip and sharing a bedroom with other people sleeping on the floor. a discreet quickie with rubber on, release, extract, roll off and make a knot. done.

 

[33RPMVinylPants]

We use condoms when in situations where going to the bathroom would disturb others or the smell and mess of cum would be too embarrassing. Recent example - hiking trip and sharing a bedroom with other people sleeping on the floor. a discreet quickie with rubber on, release, extract, roll off and make a knot. done.

That's more interesting, though, because the consequences are greater.

"We'll get caught if we're not discreet about the mess" is much more dramatic than "I don't feel like cleaning up".

 

[la_ruche]

That's more interesting, though, because the consequences are greater.

"We'll get caught if we're not discreet about the mess" is much more dramatic than "I don't feel like cleaning up".

Discreet sex with other people around requires some preparations… our sleeping bags have a small pouch with condoms and paper for just these occasions. Silently spooning and slowly fucking while embracing and hearing other people snore is quite a turn on. Hearing other people having sex in the dark is thrilling as well.

 

[CuttingEdge]

That's more interesting, though, because the consequences are greater.

"We'll get caught if we're not discreet about the mess" is much more dramatic than "I don't feel like cleaning up".

It might add more tension to the story if the condom had more use than just pregnancy prevention.

I once worked with a man whose wife was a prostitute on certain weekends. No joke, he even laughed it was the reason he never worked overtime, and why she worked in Boston and not Provience. Supposedly Boston was "better"???

While that brings on more questions than answers, what if a couple like that used a condom every other time?

With just a little creativity, it could be a story where the last John in the world she wanted to be without one, happened along when she was in the without rotation. Or on the flip side, what if a handsome guy she would love to have a child with wanted some time with her and she was on the with condom rotation. With a little internal conflict within the main characters, a properly tensioned story could be written.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm hung up on why a married couple would be using condoms in the first place?

Guess I'm just weird.

 

[JohnSm123]

It might add more tension to the story if the condom had more use than just pregnancy prevention.

I once worked with a man whose wife was a prostitute on certain weekends. No joke, he even laughed it was the reason he never worked overtime, and why she worked in Boston and not Provience. Supposedly Boston was "better"???

While that brings on more questions than answers, what if a couple like that used a condom every other time?

With just a little creativity, it could be a story where the last John in the world she wanted to be without one, happened along when she was in the without rotation. Or on the flip side, what if a handsome guy she would love to have a child with wanted some time with her and she was on the with condom rotation. With a little internal conflict within the main characters, a properly tensioned story could be written.

I'm not sure I got what you said. But if you ever write that story, give me the link.