Aging guy depression...Anyone else go through this?

[PandemicReader8]

Torschlusspanik: a ten-dollar German word describing the fear that time is running out and important opportunities are slipping away.

It's more common among older folks because younger folks don't realize they aren't immortal and Great Grandma Sally might just outlive them.

Life is a series of opportunity-cost decisions. There are just so many hours in the day, doing one thing always means not don't another; at least not yet, but sometimes not at all.

Missing out is a fact of life.

Time is running out for all of us, some of us just have more ticks of the clock than others. It sucks and maybe it's harsh, but it's true. And it can be motivational.

Time is running out. We can let fear and sorrow immobilize us or we can plan for that reality. We can control is what we miss out on, decide what's truly important, plan for the big stuff, make time for the little where we can.

Just my two cents.

 

[ace195008]

Torschlusspanik: a ten-dollar German word describing the fear that time is running out and important opportunities are slipping away.

It's more common among older folks because younger folks don't realize they aren't immortal and Great Grandma Sally might just outlive them.

Life is a series of opportunity-cost decisions. There are just so many hours in the day, doing one thing always means not don't another; at least not yet, but sometimes not at all.

Missing out is a fact of life.

Time is running out for all of us, some of us just have more ticks of the clock than others. It sucks and maybe it's harsh, but it's true. And it can be motivational.

Time is running out. We can let fear and sorrow immobilize us or we can plan for that reality. We can control is what we miss out on, decide what's truly important, plan for the big stuff, make time for the little where we can.

Just my two cents.

A great 2 cents worth, also ”Dorothy we aren’t in Kansas anymore”, things have changed a great deal since a lot of us were kids.

 

[FantasySharer1]

I am 58 and lately, my age has really been weighing on me, because it had struck me that I am a little too close to 60 for comfort. I know that nowadays, if you have good health and take care of your body, been in your 60s is not that much of a limitation, physically, but...
Well, first of all, being in your 60s leads to being in your 70s, and that thought fills me with dread, terror, and depression. But putting that aside for now, I think the depression I'm experiencing has more to do with the sense that at my age there are no more accomplishments to be made, no more goals to strive for--in the sense that none of it would matter since I'm approaching old age. When you're young, time doesn't seem to move, and you are excitedly motivated to achieve or experience this, that and the other. Well, at my age I pretty much already have, and I feel like there's just no point in trying to achieve anything because, as it has been said, it all ends in death.
Do these feelings sound familiar to anyone out there?

Tak to a doctor, consider testosterone therapy. The few men of your age I know who are doing it - it's like they are younger than me and I'm in my 30s. It's not just the muscle and fitness, it's their entire outlook on life. It's amazing and honestly beautiful to see.

 

[nicechat]

Live every day as though it's your last - and hope like hell that it isn't.

At 63 I was given a month or so to live. So far I've managed to stretch that month into more than 13 years.

Good on you !! I wish you well for many more.

 

[ace195008]

Tak to a doctor, consider testosterone therapy. The few men of your age I know who are doing it - it's like they are younger than me and I'm in my 30s. It's not just the muscle and fitness, it's their entire outlook on life. It's amazing and honestly beautiful to see.

I am doing testosterone therapy, had Prostate Cancer, cured , but Testosterone didn’t come back, neither did my little friend ‘George’. So I take shots ever 2 weeks, I feel a lot better for sure working on the sex part.

 

[ImiGirrst]

I am totally alone and invisible to everyone.

You sound like my cousin

 

[ImiGirrst]

Well, first of all, being in your 60s leads to being in your 70s, and that thought fills me with dread, terror, and depression. But putting that aside for now, I think the depression I'm experiencing has more to do with the sense that at my age there are no more accomplishments to be made, no more goals to strive for--in the sense that none of it would matter since I'm approaching old age.

A lot of great information in this thread. I hope my comment is additive...
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Two thoughts come to mind. Happiness is a journey. Many of us get so focused at an accomplishment, we forget that when we obtain that accomplishment, it's momentary. The journey to that accomplishment is 95% of the time. So shouldn't we enjoy or get as much fulfillment out of traveling there as we get from crossing the finish line? If we change how we look at moving toward an accomplishment, then getting across the finish line isn't that big of a deal. If we get to 55%, we did better than average. If we get to 75%, it's most of the way - that in itself is an accomplishment. So consider reframing how you definite success and fulfillment.
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The other thought is the Serenity Prayer. Sure, we tend to think of it as something for 12 step programs, but I think it is applicable whenever we are dealing with being stuck. If we have serenity to accept what we can't change, then we can accept our aging process. If we have the courage to change what we can, then we can do so many of the suggestions that have been mentioned on this thread. And wisdom? Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I always seek wisdom, because it is difficult to know the difference between what we can change and what we can't. Obtaining wisdom is a journey in itself.

 

[Hipshot1554]

I am 58 and lately, my age has really been weighing on me, because it had struck me that I am a little too close to 60 for comfort. I know that nowadays, if you have good health and take care of your body, been in your 60s is not that much of a limitation, physically, but...
Well, first of all, being in your 60s leads to being in your 70s, and that thought fills me with dread, terror, and depression. But putting that aside for now, I think the depression I'm experiencing has more to do with the sense that at my age there are no more accomplishments to be made, no more goals to strive for--in the sense that none of it would matter since I'm approaching old age. When you're young, time doesn't seem to move, and you are excitedly motivated to achieve or experience this, that and the other. Well, at my age I pretty much already have, and I feel like there's just no point in trying to achieve anything because, as it has been said, it all ends in death.
Do these feelings sound familiar to anyone out there?

As long as you have your health you can enjoy life. You have life experience you can contribute. Volunteer for something. Teach the younger ones things that you know how to do. If you are at all handy join Habitat for Humanity. If you just sit around you will be old, bored, and miserable.

 

[Rockymtnman]

Sorry you’re going through this. But, keep up the good fight. See a therapist, your doctor, talk to friends and family. or us.

 

[Windman1]

At 63 I certainly feel the affects of my age and how I lived my younger years being adventurous and taking risk. And while my body isn’t up for what it once was, I redefine what my challenges are these days. I find that in taking care of myself I am still able to be active and enjoy life and embrace my limitations. My wife has aged too and her capabilities and interests have changed too. She no longer is interested in sex or intimacy so rather than resenting her for that I have shifted my sexual interests. There are adjustments to be made for sure, it’s not reasonable to think things don’t change with age. Every season of life has both it’s challenges and rewards.

 

[eomerson]

Yep. Knees and hips hurting after 60 years. It sucks to have to slow down sometimes but the alternative is no fun. I am 60 but I dont feel like I am. If you have depression, see a doctor. Really, you will miss too much if you do not treat it! Good luck!

 

[GHFinSTL]

I can relate to Chili Dip. I've traveled the world over and over, so no desire to do that like other old people. I have ascended to the highest levels of my profession, so nothing left to prove, I've been with more women than I can count, again so nothing left to prove, though I might have ruined myself there a bit, as my expectations now exceed my abilities to find what I'm looking for. I have a wealth of knowledge on some subjects, but I'm not going back to start a new career at my age (should have been a doctor, if I could do it over). There isn't much mystery left in the world for me. I guess my next step is to teach. I've made some inquirers into being a professor. I suppose that's what you do towards the end, pass on your knowledge and experiences to others. Any young ladies in need of an older, wiser, experienced, mid-50s professor type?

 

[KayakJack]

I am 58 and lately, my age has really been weighing on me, because it had struck me that I am a little too close to 60 for comfort. I know that nowadays, if you have good health and take care of your body, been in your 60s is not that much of a limitation, physically, but...
Well, first of all, being in your 60s leads to being in your 70s, and that thought fills me with dread, terror, and depression. But putting that aside for now, I think the depression I'm experiencing has more to do with the sense that at my age there are no more accomplishments to be made, no more goals to strive for--in the sense that none of it would matter since I'm approaching old age. When you're young, time doesn't seem to move, and you are excitedly motivated to achieve or experience this, that and the other. Well, at my age I pretty much already have, and I feel like there's just no point in trying to achieve anything because, as it has been said, it all ends in death.
Do these feelings sound familiar to anyone out there

I am 58 and lately, my age has really been weighing on me, because it had struck me that I am a little too close to 60 for comfort. I know that nowadays, if you have good health and take care of your body, been in your 60s is not that much of a limitation, physically, but...
Well, first of all, being in your 60s leads to being in your 70s, and that thought fills me with dread, terror, and depression. But putting that aside for now, I think the depression I'm experiencing has more to do with the sense that at my age there are no more accomplishments to be made, no more goals to strive for--in the sense that none of it would matter since I'm approaching old age. When you're young, time doesn't seem to move, and you are excitedly motivated to achieve or experience this, that and the other. Well, at my age I pretty much already have, and I feel like there's just no point in trying to achieve anything because, as it has been said, it all ends in death.
Do these feelings sound familiar to anyone out there?

This. I'm 59 and suddenly feeling lost. I've been experiencing various health issues, one of which is a progressive spine ailment, which limits my ability to do things I love (hiking, backpacking, kayaking...sex). Trying to stay positive, however at times I find it hard not to get down.

 

[Intrigued42]

You list your ailment and the issues that limit your activities, however: sometimes it is a matter of working through the pain and/or more exercise or physical therapy. I will be 71 next month. I broke my leg last spring. Doc said 3 months until mobile and 1 year until back to full activity. I danced at a niece's wedding exactly 3 months after the break. I have been hiking in the woods at least 1-1/2 miles each day and walking about 5 miles/day, since. Positive self-talk. Attitude. Work through the issues but if you need help from professionals, do seek them out. Each of us is unique but family, friends and positive, can-do self-talk are important!

 

[TrailerHitch]

Just turned 65, been retired for 11 years, Medicare just began. I don't wake up everyday wondering if today is my last. I live my life doing the things I need to and the things I want to. Am I ignoring the fact that as I get older the chances of dying increase? No, I am not. But let's be honest what benefit is there to contemplate your own death everyday? It will happen, and I am not afraid of death so why dwell on it?

 

[mpeters]

I hope most of you are on the 50-Plus thread I started, but in case you aren’t…

A little over a year ago as I was approaching 60, my wife finally convinced me to get therapy. Truth to be told, I probably should have started it a long time ago. I did go to one person for a few sessions after my dad passed away (about 14 years ago) but it wasn’t a great fit for me, and I didn’t look for a different one. Then about six years ago, I had an aneurysm burst in my head that I didn’t seek medical attention for until 24 hours later, and was immediately run to surgery to get it fixed with a two week hospital stay and four weeks at home recovering with no lasting effects (the survival odds are 50% if you seek immediate treatment, this is what killed my dad), and I probably should have started after that too. But I didn’t. So I started seeing an online therapist, and last Christmas I started taking medication that, it turned out, was causing me difficulty orgasming, but I didn’t realize that for a while. Then I got appendicitis out of the blue, went to urgent care immediately, they sent me it the hospital and after the surgery I was told my appendix was literally falling apart as they removed it… if I’d come in a hour later it would’ve burst.

So still getting therapy, had my med change and it’s not quite working for me yet, and I’ve had some dark times the last few weeks as a result.

Not only that, but I keep getting the feeling that my luck can’t last… if something else major happens, I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive it (and honestly I’ll be amazed if I see 70… I’m turning 61 on the ninth).

So I get it… I already feel like my life has been largely wasted. I haven’t accomplished anything I wanted to accomplish, I’ve had to change careers so many times it’s not even funny, and now I already know I’ll have to do it again in a year or so (I earned a teaching degree but I can only find work as a substitute which doesn’t pay enough and has no benefits, this is my third year as a sub). I don’t even know for sure what else I can get that will pay better as it is. It sucks. Plus I have no ability to retire, either… I just have to keep working until I drop or win the lottery.

I get it, it sucks. I get depressed about it daily. You’re not alone, obviously.

 

[HordHolm]

I am 58 and lately, my age has really been weighing on me, because it had struck me that I am a little too close to 60 for comfort. I know that nowadays, if you have good health and take care of your body, been in your 60s is not that much of a limitation, physically, but...
Well, first of all, being in your 60s leads to being in your 70s, and that thought fills me with dread, terror, and depression. But putting that aside for now, I think the depression I'm experiencing has more to do with the sense that at my age there are no more accomplishments to be made, no more goals to strive for--in the sense that none of it would matter since I'm approaching old age. When you're young, time doesn't seem to move, and you are excitedly motivated to achieve or experience this, that and the other. Well, at my age I pretty much already have, and I feel like there's just no point in trying to achieve anything because, as it has been said, it all ends in death.
Do these feelings sound familiar to anyone out there?

Apologies, your post is quite old and I don't want to necessarily reopen anything that may have gone past, but...

I understand your feelings. I'm 55 and looked at one way, all the best bits have gone by: I won't become an international playboy or man of mystery, and I won't get to own my own castle. So in that respect my life won't be the fantasy I hoped when I was younger.

But then, on the other hand, I take comfort from:

I'm comfortable in my own skin, and I know myself better every day
Age need not defeat creativity
There are actually younger people out there who look to me (me! the crazy party animal who raved the night away in the 80s doing stuff I can't repeat here!!) for wisdom, advice and knowledge
There are achievements and accomplishments for everyone despite age - they only disappear if you surrender to it and let them vanish
Lastly, yes death is coming, but life is here and now

Good luck, and I hope you've managed to find comfort and some joie de vivre.

 

[live4thebj]

Currently 49. I don’t fuck like I used to. I don’t last as long as I used to. I don’t get as much pussy and mouth like I used to. I am getting reseeding hairline. Hair is thinning. Constantly debating if I want to buzz it as close as Jason Statham. I am not as handsome as I once was. I am not many things. But I am okay with that. I look at what I have and achieved. I done many things wrong and still trying to prevent from doing them again. But I accept I am getting older and in the category of old and by the views of some ladies DILF. I am okay with that. I used to be the ones fucking MILFS.

In short can’t stop the clock nor turn it back. I just focus forward and plan what else what I want to do while my heart continues to beat.

 

[Abbafan]

A little bit.

Especially when someone dies that I admired. When someone like George Romero goes, it's a reminder of the finality of death and that my own time isn't all that far off.

I try not to think about it, though. I don't believe in any organized religion and think most likely when you die, it's over. (I'm not as sure about it as a lot of atheists though. Guess I hold out a little hope.). I'm not one of those non believers who isn't bothered at the thought of dying.

Yeah, it'll be like before you were born, I guess. Nothingness.

But before I was born, I didn't know that death was coming. Now that I'm alive, I do.