Aging guy depression...Anyone else go through this?

[jay49in25]

I seem to be on the cusp of this and I'm only just about 50. I feel stuck in every part of life. My marriage isn't what I thought it was going to be, I have no room for advancement at work (yet I like what I do), I never had a big sex life...so many fantasies that will never get fulfilled. I'm in good health but I'm not close to being healthy if that makes sense. I think it won't be long until some issues develop due to my lifestyle choices.

I refuse to talk the wife, because in all my years of marriage...talking has never ever helped the situation and I really don't want to expound the energy to go another round.

I like my job and rather than move into an entirely new field at this age I'll take what I'm paid and where I am and stay here.

I'm in an ultra small town -everyone knows everybody else...literally - so there'll be no in person affair with anyone...I never travel without my wife.

If I go to therapy I know my wife will look at it as if it's all on her and then that brings up stuff that doesn't need said and I would cycle directly back to point A.

So I keep my head down, live each day for itself, take whatever win I can find and move along. The what if's hit me at night, especially if I get lost in music. It feels good to feel bad sometimes, you just gotta shake it off with everything else because dwelling on things that are in the past, that you have no control over won't do you any good.

I am reminded that with each choice I made in life I constructed this cage I live in. Just like in "Hotel California" we are all just prisoners here of our own device.

As gloomy as all that may sound I try to remain positive and optimistic. I have a pleasant demeanor although these thoughts lie just beneath the surface.

 

[hugh_jarce69]

I seem to be on the cusp of this and I'm only just about 50. I feel stuck in every part of life. My marriage isn't what I thought it was going to be, I have no room for advancement at work (yet I like what I do), I never had a big sex life...so many fantasies that will never get fulfilled. I'm in good health but I'm not close to being healthy if that makes sense. I think it won't be long until some issues develop due to my lifestyle choices.

I refuse to talk the wife, because in all my years of marriage...talking has never ever helped the situation and I really don't want to expound the energy to go another round.

I like my job and rather than move into an entirely new field at this age I'll take what I'm paid and where I am and stay here.

I'm in an ultra small town -everyone knows everybody else...literally - so there'll be no in person affair with anyone...I never travel without my wife.

If I go to therapy I know my wife will look at it as if it's all on her and then that brings up stuff that doesn't need said and I would cycle directly back to point A.

So I keep my head down, live each day for itself, take whatever win I can find and move along. The what if's hit me at night, especially if I get lost in music. It feels good to feel bad sometimes, you just gotta shake it off with everything else because dwelling on things that are in the past, that you have no control over won't do you any good.

I am reminded that with each choice I made in life I constructed this cage I live in. Just like in "Hotel California" we are all just prisoners here of our own device.

As gloomy as all that may sound I try to remain positive and optimistic. I have a pleasant demeanor although these thoughts lie just beneath the surface.

Mate, I’m sending you a virtual hug . I don’t have the answers, I just have empathy & a willingness to listen.
When I turned 50 I was really down. It seemed so old. But I’ve just gone past the age my Dad was when he died & he looked way older than I do.
Now I look at it that I still run up & down stairs, I ride a bike, I jump about on stage in the band I’m in. It took me till my late forties to finally take the plunge & join a band. I’d dreamed about it since I was a teenager but never quite had the courage to do anything about it.
Maybe there are some new hobbies you could try? Perhaps you’re doing the right thing by coming on here & looking for people to chat to.
I’m in a sexless marriage too & I could never tell my wife what I’m doing on here. I guess I’m just looking for a release for my dreams & fantasies. I’m probably more comfortable with being me than I was years ago & maybe I’ve stopped chasing things.
At least you’re thinking positively & as you’ve found out there’s quite a few of us about. Don’t think there is a magic bullet & if there is I don’t have it for you. But I just wanted to say I read your post & wish you the best in finding a solution

 

[Pad_Foot]

Well? Once you forget how things used to be it’s all good

Memories… aren’t even memories
Cock? Ain’t as big as hard or as useful
But you can spend bucks to try to help it
Orgasms? Not as great as frequent or as productive

So? Can you find a woman who is willing to be loved in many other ways??

No emphasis on your needs, cuz you don’t have those worries, but a strong desire to please partner

 

[razor33a]

Have a litany of mh issues but hitting 50 pushed harder into the depression. On testosterone and adhd meds so I keep walking on the path of existence. "Just waiting for the alarm to go off" is my mode, just now I'm not changing the time ahead for now. 50 wasn't a magic number where things kicked in like how some react to turning 30, but a milestone where I looked back and thought, "nah, done with it." Not that way currently, just in neutral. Tried meds for years and all that.