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Loving too much....

Merelan

Merelan

Lady's Love
Joined
Mar 29, 2000
Posts
10,812
a phrase I am borrowing, swiping from DrRxBlue. In another thread, about the avs she states...

"Can I die from loving too much."

Can you? In nilla relationships you see it all the time. One loving so much more then the other. In fact, overwhelming their beloved, even chasing them off at times. Isn't that even easier to do in a BDSM. Not sure what I am heading here but let's see...

Because a submissive is more apt to be the more loving one, don't jump on me, I am new at this, and might change my mind by the time I finsih typing.

Isn't it then likely she/he will be the more gentle, loving one? The Master, and not always, but often the busier, more focused one. Uggggh. This isn't coming out clear at all.

Okay. Submissive...

gentle, loving, trusting.

Master...

focused, thoughtful, but more apt to feel they need to hide it.

Never mind.

Can you die from lovign too much?
 
I don't know.

I've loved so much that every inch of me ached. But was it too much?
I don't think I love too much. I see love as a gift and a measurement of "too much" seems a bit conforming. The pain that often occurs with the risk of love is the yin to my yang. It reminds me of the precious, fleeting moments that make up life upon this world.

I guess if your will is lost due to such pain, your light could burn out. But is it a choice?

I don't know.

I have felt as though I'd die. I didn't. And love continued to bless and haunt my spirit.
 
I don't know if you can actually die from loving too much, but you sure can feel like you are gonna die, or want to die - especially if your love isn't returned in the way you want it returned, or if the one you love leaves the relationship.

I had a BDSM relationship once upon a time that was good. I was getting my needs met and so, i though, was my Dominant. We were not in love with each other but there was immense trust and caring and physicality; things were good between us. I suppose he *wasn't* getting his needs met in the way i was, though, because he fell in love with me. And he told me he loved me. And i panicked. I couldn't love him back, couldn't respond in that way when he told me, and it made me *extremely* uncomfortable to not be able to give back to him what he was giving to me.

I ended the relationship shortly afterwards.

And then there's my recent MS/Steve saga wherein it was, apparently, my turn to love but not be loved in return.

I've been on both sides.
The latter is the side that hurts, that makes you think you'll die from the pain of not being loved in the way that you offer your love.

It's not, i think, that you can die from loving too much.
It's that you want to die when you're not loved back, or when you're left holding your love in outstretched hands as if it's of no value.
 
I am not sure if you can love too much. Certainly, we can love so deeply and intensely that our every thought, every action brings thoughts of Him/Her.
We can love to the degree to which we don't feel whole unless we carry them in our heart and know they want to be there, needing lots of reassurance, feeling unworthy of their love and blessed by it.
We can love until our vision is blinded by love and then, our judgement follows a bumpy road. We may slowly lose the self we brought to them as our love grows, regardless of their feelings, their intentions, their motives.
When that love is returned, what is better? What is more beautiful?

When that love is not returned, when we wake up one morning and realize we are not cherished and adored, then love can be destructive.

Can we die from loving too much? We can feel like we may. But, most will find the strength from within to brush themselves off and carry on when love isn't returned.

Then, a few others may not.....

In my view, finding the ability to love, the focus of my love is a gift and worthy of the hurt and pain.

When I first loved, I found the greatest pain in my life as well. It seemed a paradox, but perhaps an apt paradox. Loving to greater heights makes the pit of rejection far deeper.

And ....well....that is my pre coffee meandering for this morning.



:rose:
 
Last edited:
MissTaken said:


In my view, finding the ability to love, the focus of my love is a gift and worthy of the hurt and pain.

When I first loved, I found the greatest pain in my life as well. It seemed a paradox, but perhaps night. Loving to greater heights makes the pit of rejection far deeper.

And ....well....that is my pre coffee meandering for this morning.
Click to expand...

Miss T;

If you write so well without java, you should swear off of the stuff. Continue to ramble, I'll read your posts any day! What are my feelings about love at the moment? I think Robert Burns said it best:

"The best laid schemes o' mice and men
Gang aft agley
And leave us nought but grief and pain
For promised Joy!"
Click to expand...

He wasn't talking about love, but he could've been! Can one love too much? I think so. Can one die from it? Only if you choose to let the pain destroy you. Is there anything that one can do to lessen the impact, dull the hurt, or otherwise make things less painful? Sure ... you can elect to keep yourself forever distant from others, never coming close enough for your barbs to harm them, or for their bristles to pierce your sensitive self. It is the Hedgehog's Dilemma: 'Why must I approach others when doing so often does grievous injury to me, and to them as well?' That feeling, that it is better to isolate yourself than to risk opening up to others is dangerous.

That is true death; the utter destruction of one's self.

-T
 
MissTaken said:
T,

Feeling pain is better than feeling nothing.
Click to expand...

Miss T;

Sometimes, I'm not so sure. I'd like to think so, but remain unconvinced. Emotional turmoil is great fodder for the writing, but otherwise blows. Just one of those things I'd rather experience vicariously.

-T
 
I know.

It sounds good though and there are times that pain allows me to remember I am alive.

Being alive can mean so many good things. :)

And no, to the casual reader, I am not referring to the pain/pleasure threshhold.
 
MissTaken said:
Being alive can mean so many good things. :)
Click to expand...

Miss T;

It is that thought that keeps me going, day after day. That, and realizing that I don't have an exclusive license on misery. The things I've been through pale when compared to the drama that permaeates the lives of others. Somehow, they have managed to carry on. I can do so as well. Tenacity and intractibility are two attributes I possess. I'll find the woman I need, simply because I won't stop looking for her, regardless of how many times I get kicked in the teeth. I'll just have to buy a mouthpiece and look into better dental insurance, is all.

Just another reason why I like participating in this forum. It's nice to be able to interact with people who don't judge and are highly supportive, even of strangers.

Take care, Miss T.

-T
 
Last edited:
Loving

When any one of us has loved there has been pain. Pain waiting for the phone to ring, pain wondering whether or not they like/love us and the pain of rejection. In order to love we must face the fact that we put ourselves in aposition to experience love and/or pain. I would rather love and experience those pains rather than NOT to love at all.
 
Doms can love to much also

Please understand I am not whinning.

Life is what it is and we decide weather to go on living it

On another list I am on....there was a thread about weather a Dom should just abandon a sub......it came up quickly the question should a sub just abandon a Dom....no I was not the one to bring it up

When we truly give oursleves we have nothing left.

Sometimes though we just edit ourselves out of existences.

I'm am rambling...I am taking my ill body and empty soul back to bed
 
Re: Doms can love to much also

Richard49 said:
I am taking my ill body and empty soul back to bed
Click to expand...
It'll get better, Richard.
It will.
Honest.

It'll always be a pang in your heart but the time will come when you go for relatively long periods of time without thinking about...it. We go on, we who've been badly hurt. We must. There is no other choice.
:rose:
 
I do not think that you can die from love

but I do think that you can give up the will to live.

I think that many times we love with an expectation that it will be either appreciated or returned. If that love is not returned in the manner that was expected, we can give up on life, hoping that our loss will punish the beloved.

There have been books, poems and songs written about people dying from love, but I think they just gave up on life.

Ebony
 
cymbidia said:


MS/Steve
Click to expand...

I was just wondering what this means?
I don't understand the way it is phrased.
I'm new to the way BDSMer's phrase things.
Thanks for the help in advance.
 
It's the title/name of my last serious Dominant. Many here knew him, a bit anyway. As it worked out, apparently i didn't even know him.






Are you the real Pink Lady or are we starting all that name piracy garbage again?
 
Re: Doms can love to much also

Richard49 said:
On another list I am on....there was a thread about weather a Dom should just abandon a sub......it came up quickly the question should a sub just abandon a Dom....no I was not the one to bring it up [/B]
Click to expand...


Well I have seen both happen, and it stunk both times. I think that there are ways to dissolve relationships with honor, not with abandonment. Whether it happens in D/s or in vanilla relationships, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I hope your healing begins soon.

Ebony
 
cymbidia said:
It's the title/name of my last serious Dominant. Many here knew him, a bit anyway. As it worked out, apparently i didn't even know him.






Are you the real Pink Lady or are we starting all that name piracy garbage again?
Click to expand...

MS
So it's like Male Sub?

This is the Pinklady account.
lmao
 
His name/title was Master Steve: MS

In December, after he abandoned me and hurt me in a way i've never been hurt, i removed the "Master" part from the way i thought/think about him and just use his given name.

Anything else you want to know?
 
Re: I do not think that you can die from love

Ebonyfire said:
but I do think that you can give up the will to live.

I think that many times we love with an expectation that it will be either appreciated or returned. If that love is not returned in the manner that was expected, we can give up on life, hoping that our loss will punish the beloved.

There have been books, poems and songs written about people dying from love, but I think they just gave up on life.

Ebony
Click to expand...

I can relate
 
Re: Re: Doms can love to much also

Ebonyfire said:



Well I have seen both happen, and it stunk both times. I think that there are ways to dissolve relationships with honor, not with abandonment. Whether it happens in D/s or in vanilla relationships, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I hope your healing begins soon.

Ebony
Click to expand...

The key word here is honor
When one or both the people are not honorable
someone gets hurt and I do not mean that in BDSM way

I was brought up with the belief in honor,loyality,duty
So few today even have heard the words not alone live them
 
Anger

cymbidia said:
His name/title was Master Steve: MS
In December, after he abandoned me and hurt me in a way i've never been hurt, i removed the "Master" part from the way i thought/think about him and just use his given name.
Anything else you want to know?
Click to expand...

cym I hear your anger and frankly I wish I could feel it towards Cyndi......

In the process of abandonment anger is part of it and good....
so I am told
 
cymbidia said:
His name/title was Master Steve: MS

In December, after he abandoned me and hurt me in a way i've never been hurt, i removed the "Master" part from the way i thought/think about him and just use his given name.

Anything else you want to know?
Click to expand...

Thanks cymbidia.
It's hard to understand This/that type talk.
I'm learning i guess.
 
I agree

I agree with cym . . . that when someone leaves you he/she no longer deserves ANYTHING in front of their name since they have abused your trust and broken you to a certain degree. cym, if you read this you will meet somebody who deserves you and Richard, the same goes for you.
 
Re: I agree

fallon2 said:
I agree with cym . . . that when someone leaves you he/she no longer deserves ANYTHING in front of their name since they have abused your trust and broken you to a certain degree. cym, if you read this you will meet somebody who deserves you and Richard, the same goes for you.
Click to expand...

Well I do not know about cym but for me I am at the I wish I could wish for stag .... :(
 
Re: Re: Re: Doms can love to much also

Richard49 said:


I was brought up with the belief in honor,loyality,duty
So few today even have heard the words not alone live them
Click to expand...

I totally agree with you. I have found that many people take the cowards way out in a relationship to avoid facing the person they want to leave. It takes courage to face a person and tell them you are leaving.

Ebony
 
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