Holding poems up to the light, then beating them senseless.

I was wandering through the list of poems and I found myself lost inside some of them. So I would like to take a walk through them and with the consent of the author I'd like to talk about them in some detail. I won't be talking structure or rhyme or form much. This will be a place for images and feelings. I urge all of you to join and add a poem from any list here that you would like to discuss. Shall we hold them up to the light and then torture them? I say yes!

U.P.

Orders From Headquarters

Orders From Headquarters
by KatPurrs ©

As if on wheels, this mannequin
Glides into the room,
Static eyes staring, her windows
To No Trespassing signs

Jigsaw puzzled pieces of her mind
Never seem to fit
No matter how you twist and turn them
Try to push them in

The television, her Command Post
The Governor speaks to her there
Will he want her to be a reporter today?
Or perhaps an MD who needs to do her rounds?

She mumbles something in response
Then turns away with a satisfied look
She'll need to see her patients now
The Doctor is in!

Click to expand...

I am gliding on some of the images here. I am looking in on subtle realities of duty and boredom and pride. The person weilds power and yet is not fully in control. I find myself checking off my own orders. I have walked into the poem and made it my own. I see scraped knees and list of things to do. I am not angry or sad not empty or complaining the task of living has me and I do not surrender to it, I just do what I must. So lets talk to Kat.

Thanks U.P. Let me preface my answers with a little background here. I work in a group home for people with serious mental illnesses. This is about schizophrenia.

How long did it take you to write this poem? I mean from conception to posting.

About 2 months. Longer than it's ever taken me to write a poem.

How do you feel about the comments your poem brought from me?

I was amazed that you got it! The sense of duty, the boredom, the power yet lack of control, the pride. It made me feel that I must have done something right.

Would you like to know how others felt?

Oh, absolutely! That's why I write. To see if I can move people somehow.

You favorite image or line in the poem?

Definitely "Static eyes staring, her windows
To No Trespassing signs"


How did you come upon the title?

I am writing about a schizophrenic woman who truly believes she gets her orders from the Governor via the tv.

Did you have that first or after the poem was
completed?

Before. I've watched her go into the room, turn on the tv, and get her "orders".

The poem has a quiet strength, is your character resisting orders somehow?

Now that you know the background, you can understand how this might be difficult for me to answer. Who knows what is going on in her mind. I think she is pretty loyal to the Gov. *wink*

This is a big departure from a lot of your previous poetry. How was writing this different for you.

Well for one thing IT DOESN'T RHYME! HOORAY!
LOL.... But seriously, when I first came to Lit, I was playing around, not taking my writing seriously enough. And I was trying to be something I'm not. This poem is about a seriously sad yet intriguing subject, at least to me, and I wanted to get that across to the reader.

Thanks U.P. and I'll thank any who wish to respond in advance. It's been fun.

poignant, well- written

(((d standing and applauding)))

Katpurrs-

Enjoyed this tremendously for several reasons. One, witnessing the breadth of your skill here is inspiring. Two, the subject matter and your treatment is realistic, empathetic without choking sentimentality. There is a quiet strength and resolve that resonates with me in this work.

You have some fresh, creative turn of phrases here. They are familiar enough that I can easily identify with your character, and fresh enough that you capture me with the language you use.

Mental illness renders itself naturally to poetry, I think, because both require language that we so often struggle to construct in order that we might be heard.

I hear you clearly. Thank you for the read.

Peace,

daughter

p.s. Two months,er? If we would more often realize the value of taking our time. Kudos.

Daughter...

Thank you so much Daughter. Your comments blew me away!

There have been so many times when I was fed up with my writing and almost quit. I'm so glad I stuck it out. And it's feedback like this that makes me keep practicing. And practicing is the way I look at it. I have so much to learn.

When I stated that it took 2 months to write this poem, keep in mind that U.P. said "from it's conception to posting". I wrote page after page on my observations during hat time, then sat down and highlighted what I felt was the nitty gritty, leaving off all the superfluous stuff. This has taught me to do just what you said...take my time and not rush posting something with a "Good enough" attitude. I've done enough of that.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Coming Attractions

SA Storm has been kind enough to submit to a grilling by Katpurrs.

Daughter shall have her turn under the lights of the inquisition.

But next up, is our KillerMuffin.

U.P.

Fresh meat

Hold this up to the light, people. I'll be back.

U.P.




Sometimes Prey
by KillerMuffin ©

I like to make him work for it.
I like to tease him with glimpses
Of what he wants, flashes of flesh,
Lingering tastes of temptation.

I like the thrill of being prey,
Keeping the prize from him becomes
The game that's foreplay in itself.
How much to give in with each round?

How much to take back, to show him?
Then there is always the question,
How much of the prize should he have?
All? To do whatever he wills?

To satisfy himself until
Sweat covered, he can barely move?
Or just some of it, enough
To whet his appetite for more
Then denying so the game can
Begin anew the next morning?

Or perhaps none, torturing him
Mercilessly with the sight, scent,
Vision of my writhing body
While I give myself what he so
Desperately wants, can almost taste.

Seduced, the immortality
The hydra of the sensual.

Sometimes, I am the predator
I like to chase, too. I like to
Turn the tables on him and
Relentless, hunt him through the day.

What is sweeter than sexual
Need when there is no avenue
To fulfill it beyond pure want?
I am ruthless and aggressive,
Using my lips, teeth when we kiss,
The brush of my breasts when we touch,
The sway of my ass when we walk.

I am shy and quiet by turns,
Teasing him with soft, virginal
Glimpses of things that seem so much
Naughtier than they really are.

Will he run and let me chase him
Or will he meet me with fervor?
Will he abandon the things that
He must accomplish in favor
Of my sex that should be put off?

Will he push me away, firmly
Denying my pleasure, and his?
Will my desire frighten him?
When will I finally get him?

The taste of sensuality,
The burning need of seduction.

Quick Comment

Damn, KillerMuff has hit a groove here with this "prey" thing of hers. This poem captures a lot of the psychology of sex for most people: the teasing, the ambivalence, the chasing and being chased, running away and then running back, etc.
In my opinion, this poem isn't quite as good as "Fury Twisted"-- but it's close.

Grrrrrrrrr

Grrrrrrr, that’s what I thought when I strolled through KM’s tease. It was the title that caught me first, and as I read deeper the dual intent struck hard. The prey is staging being devoured, which make the prey the predator in an interesting way.

I don’t know if men realize we are far more often the prey. The truth of KM’s ritual caused me to check my own history for traps I had walked into, believing I was the “Great White Hunter.” The internal dialog paces back and forth as an unnamed animal. I’m surprised that as prey she never truly loses control deciding even as she is being consumed how much to let him have. Strange prey indeed,
The growing of fangs is expected and I watch her contemplate the chase as the poem fades.


KillerMuffin will be back to chat with us...

Male insecurity?

Hmmm, UP dude, you sound like you're just a little bit threatened by strong, independent, "ballsy" women like KillerMuffin. Personally, I think she's cool.

1. KM, I like the concept yet the prey seems in control at all times without fear of capture how is she really prey?

There's an old adage, He chases her until she catches him. It's a game of sex where women hold all the cards. Not fair, is it? Biologically speaking men want it and women decide if they get it. Well, if a woman wants sex, she usually gets it. If a man wants sex, he has to wait for the woman to want it. So, who is really the prey? The man or the woman?

2. I’m curious about your use of sensuality here. As the prey I found it satisfying, yet I kept looking for a more aggressive posture at the end. You seem to have avoided stronger words why?

I'm not really sure. I think that this is me at my most romantic, actually. Seduction in itself is a game where everyone wins. It's fun, it's exciting, and it's soft, at least in my house. Outside of my relationship, I think it would have ended a great deal moer aggressive. I also wanted to see if I could write a poem about sex without mentioning sex, orgasm, lust, love, or any of the other cliches.

3. The metaphor you use is straight forward how did it come to you?

It's in response to a thread. I'd just finished writing a little bit and had come to the BB for a refresher. I was feeling pretty mellow when I replied. Once I was finished I thought that it would be a pretty cool poem. I'm not sure how anything comes to me, really, it just does. Perhaps that the thread was about being a seducer or being the seduced. Seduction is a predatory occupation.

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62097


4. Did this jump to the page for you or did you find yourself having to craft it slowly?

The poem was a bitch to write. My usual MO is to get a nice piece of prose I've just come up with and play with it until it's a poem. I took this piece and worked at it for about three hours. The biggest problem was keeping the two parts, her the prey and him the prey, equal in size. After that I had two stanzas. My eyes crossed reading it so I whacked it up as best I could. I think I kept an even meter through it, but I'm not sure.

5. You’ve said on several occasions that you don’t write poetry well do you feel this is one of your better ones? And why share this one?

I've been writing seriously for almost 25 years now. I've got a collection of 9 complete poems and 2 that are just a few lines. I don't think I'm very good at poetry, personally. I understand the way words should feel, but putting them together effectively in such a short amount of time without complete sentences is difficult. I read Mary Oliver's book on writing poetry. I think every writer should because she doesn't just talk about writing, she talks about language and what language and sounds mean.

This one? I whacked it to pieces and when I was finished I rather liked it. I thought it was pretty good so I put it up.

6. You seem to be on a writing spree your poem regarding Cymbidia for example. Are you currently on a poem spree? And what else is in the hopper?

I've got four BDSM oriented stories in the works. I've already taken a piece from one and turned it into a poem. I may take another piece or two from others. It depends on the concentration of impact in paragraphs. I've got one Mind control story that's gotten really long. Making up for the So Much Wind fiasco I suppose. I have my book, my e-book, and an incest that will probably yield some poetry.

In poetry, I'm thinking of going ahead and writing, at least for myself, just because it's such a wonderful wordsmithing exercise. I've got one written about my grandfather-in-law and my bratchild is ripe with things that go well with poetry. I'm not sure Lit is the proper forum for these, though.

I've been moody, poetry works well when I'm moody.

Sometimes Prey - Killer Muffin

It sounds like a terribly simple answer, but WOW!!

Killer Muffin managed to put into words an attitude of feeling that I only realized was actually a part of my sensuality in the last year. To read that piece is to open up the inside of yourself and take a look at what you find. It isn't only enlightening for the men to read. It is empowering for the women. It is also to feel the intense give and take in any intimate relationship period. It deals with being prey, but the piece details the want, the respect, the duality of feelings that flow between two people.

Awesome indeed.

So who's next?

Katpurrs were waiting?

I am so sorry for the delay......

I am afraid I need to have someone else pick up the ball and run with it. I fumbled.

First it was my mailbox giving me grief. Now I'm having formatting problems getting SA Storm's wonderful poem "Vacation Time" in here properly.

U.P.....or KillerMuffin....can you take over for me please and do SA Storm justice? I am so embarrassed! I'm sorry SA...forgive me?


*Running from the Board, hiding my face in shame*

In my case......

It should be:

Holding POETS up to the light and beating them senseless......

I'm butting in to be first in line..........

Anybody out there giving "How to navigate a Board" lessons? Sheesh!

Vacation Time
by SA Storm ©

about you and I
lying against one another
head to chest eyes closed
hand at rest on the curve of your hip

tracing paths better suited for tongue and taste
breadcrumbs of salvia evaporating cool
small of your back I wander the space of pleasures
while you tense rhythmically in relaxed anticipation

fingers rest at your openings
euphoric on their way inside your body
the contrasts of flesh
moist heat and wet warmth.
I am caressed and strangled by your pleasure

you ask which I prefer
in an odd moment of insecurity
I ponder sacred spaces open to me
forever content in your body
where you will have me
yet I do have a home

you want to be more than parking spaces
I laugh kissing your smooth mound
and trace home sweet home
across the point of your passion

silent acknowledgement as you turn
hips to my groin and mouth the words into my hand
vacation time

*whispering* There you go KP, now run with it!

Thanks KM !!

Ok, finally! Now...On another thread, U.P. and I thought it would be cool get the readers involved in the interviews and to have the last poet interviewed oversee the next interview. Hopefully KM and SA Storm will agree to do that.

I had suggested asking 10 questions, but now think that is too many and feel around 5 would be sufficient.

So, readers, please PM me with any questions you have for SA Storm. I'll post them tomorrow. Thanks!

Kat~

.

.

Q&A

KatPurrs, great questions and SA, very happy to get a glimpse inside your words.

Enjoyed this.

U.P., thanks for another interesting feature on this forum. Enjoyed your stroll through KM's poem. KillerMuffin always happy to hear your thoughts.

Good reads.

Peace,

daughter

Re: daughter....SA.....U.P....and KillerMuffin

daughter said:

KatPurrs, great questions and SA, very happy to get a glimpse inside your words.

Enjoyed this.

U.P., thanks for another interesting feature on this forum. Enjoyed your stroll through KM's poem. KillerMuffin always happy to hear your thoughts.

Good reads.

Peace,

daughter

Click to expand...

Thanks for the compliment, daughter. Thanks too for the questions you posed, and your words of advice.

SA Storm was a delight to work with and his answers were so playful and insightful! Thanks SA!

KillerMuffin, glad you agreed to conduct the next interview. Thanks! Btw, WONDERFUL poem, woman!

And U.P., well, what can I say? A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to cover her ass, right?

So where do we go from here U.P.? Who's next to be hung, scrutinized and beaten to a bloody pulp?

Kat~

Who's next

KatPurrs--

So who is KM going to do next?

Peace,

daughter

REDWAVE!

Posting "Caution" signs along the beach......

REDWAVE is coming!

Ok, KillerMuffin....choose our poison, please.

Kat~

Here we go, ladies, a taste from Rewave:

I'll ask him some questions soon.

Refined Torment
by REDWAVE ©
The chair she sat in, like a burnished throne
Received the imprint of her rump most graciously
And what a rump it was!
Smooth and sinuous, curving gracefully into all the other curves
Of her shapely body
Giggling and making out with her boyfriend
Putting on a show for free
That quite a few might pay to see

Her blonde grilfriend, sometimes playmate
Was dangling her long golden tresses over the back of a couch
While eyeing two young bucks standing before her amorously
With sidelong glances at her friendly rival
Competing with each other for the title of Sex Queen

And those were just the two most creamable foxes
The cafe was crowded with lovely young women
Many with low self-esteem
In the last days before the burning

DAMN! I said to myself, sitting there thinking
All this fuckable beauty
Yet not a twat for me

--July 30, 2001