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Old 12-13-2013, 09:06 PM   #126
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Hi tt...I've been following your thread for awhile and I think you've been given some good advice .I'll throw my two cents in because I remember 22 so well. At 36 I don't feel old but at 22 I suppose it seems forever away.
I was you...at 22...insecure about my body...worrying if I was a good lover...if I was sexy...I had just gotten out of a long term relationship...I was in love...he wasn't. It was so bad I would apologise for things that clearly were not my fault and I would submit in the bedroom...but not in a good way. It was to the point I actually had a child with someone I thought I should like...it ended in disaster...because I never listened to what I liked.
It wasn't until I became single again...and gave myself.the rule...no 'uncles' for my daughter...that I came out of my shell. Knowing my daughter was my priority I met men for one thing....sex...that doesn't mean I slept with loads of people...I had friends with benefits...knowing I wanted only pleasure from their company, knowing they weren't going to be a baby daddy...just that they were going to please me....was liberating.
I guess the point after all this...if I could go back to 22...I would make sure I felt good....first....before i had a baby....before i got stuck in a relationship i felt obligated to stay in....that the guy was what I wanted not what I thought my parents or my friends wanted for me. I won't lie...I still don't have it 100%...and I am still learning....but I'm closer than ever.
Anyway...maybe this was a ramble....just...I wanted to say learn what makes you happy because I dont want you to be 36 and finally realise what it is that makes you tick...but find you've confined yourself to a life that doesn't allow it.
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Old 12-13-2013, 10:40 PM   #127
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so many questions...

Sorry sometimes I get on a roll...


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If you are, is it not satisfying you in the way you think it should?
This for sure.

Can you elaborate on this at all? Whatever you're comfortable with of course, but can you describe more about what your expectations are versus what you're experiencing in reality?
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Old 12-15-2013, 10:43 AM   #128
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Had a fun night Friday night with a guy I used to know from High School, facebooked first, then we've been texting for a while, and he was in town for work, stayed at a resort near me.

OMG. Best night ever.

Yes, he's married, but don't get all judgy on me- it was a one time thing, and I really needed it. We had discussed my issues in detail, and we actually did what we had texted about for a month.
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Old 12-15-2013, 11:00 AM   #129
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Good morning Tiny,

Good for you!

Neither judging nor condoning () but I hope you found the satisfaction you've been seeking, even if only for one night. It sounds like it was a good one.

I could use a night or two like that myself
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Old 12-15-2013, 11:04 AM   #130
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Hi tt...I've been following your thread for awhile and I think you've been given some good advice .I'll throw my two cents in because I remember 22 so well. At 36 I don't feel old but at 22 I suppose it seems forever away.
I was you...at 22...insecure about my body...worrying if I was a good lover...if I was sexy...I had just gotten out of a long term relationship...I was in love...he wasn't. It was so bad I would apologise for things that clearly were not my fault and I would submit in the bedroom...but not in a good way. It was to the point I actually had a child with someone I thought I should like...it ended in disaster...because I never listened to what I liked.
It wasn't until I became single again...and gave myself.the rule...no 'uncles' for my daughter...that I came out of my shell. Knowing my daughter was my priority I met men for one thing....sex...that doesn't mean I slept with loads of people...I had friends with benefits...knowing I wanted only pleasure from their company, knowing they weren't going to be a baby daddy...just that they were going to please me....was liberating.
I guess the point after all this...if I could go back to 22...I would make sure I felt good....first....before i had a baby....before i got stuck in a relationship i felt obligated to stay in....that the guy was what I wanted not what I thought my parents or my friends wanted for me. I won't lie...I still don't have it 100%...and I am still learning....but I'm closer than ever.
Anyway...maybe this was a ramble....just...I wanted to say learn what makes you happy because I dont want you to be 36 and finally realise what it is that makes you tick...but find you've confined yourself to a life that doesn't allow it.
Thank you Ruby
I'm sure having a child changes all your options and outlook on life.

I love your advise- thanks again
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Old 12-15-2013, 12:07 PM   #131
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Old 12-15-2013, 12:10 PM   #132
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Originally Posted by tiny_tits View Post
Had a fun night Friday night with a guy I used to know from High School, facebooked first, then we've been texting for a while, and he was in town for work, stayed at a resort near me.

OMG. Best night ever.

Yes, he's married, but don't get all judgy on me- it was a one time thing, and I really needed it. We had discussed my issues in detail, and we actually did what we had texted about for a month.
That sounds like it must have been a serious adrenaline rush for you, even just internally, without the physical nature of it. Was your heart racing?
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Old 12-15-2013, 10:39 PM   #133
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Originally Posted by tiny_tits View Post
Had a fun night Friday night with a guy I used to know from High School, facebooked first, then we've been texting for a while, and he was in town for work, stayed at a resort near me.

OMG. Best night ever.

Yes, he's married, but don't get all judgy on me- it was a one time thing, and I really needed it. We had discussed my issues in detail, and we actually did what we had texted about for a month.
Details, TT! Tell us what happened!
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Old 12-15-2013, 10:42 PM   #134
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Originally Posted by tiny_tits View Post
Had a fun night Friday night with a guy I used to know from High School, facebooked first, then we've been texting for a while, and he was in town for work, stayed at a resort near me.

OMG. Best night ever.

Yes, he's married, but don't get all judgy on me- it was a one time thing, and I really needed it. We had discussed my issues in detail, and we actually did what we had texted about for a month.
Just be careful. What starts out as a one-time thing can become something else, especially when another person is involved. I'm glad you are feeling more settled and secure. Have fun, but be careful--and use protection.
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Old 12-16-2013, 11:37 PM   #135
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Details, TT! Tell us what happened!
He tied me to the 4 corners of the bed, rubbed me down with baby oil, then used my toy on me, then, ummm, used me as his toy!
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Old 12-16-2013, 11:38 PM   #136
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Just be careful. What starts out as a one-time thing can become something else, especially when another person is involved. I'm glad you are feeling more settled and secure. Have fun, but be careful--and use protection.
Yes, I can see that happening.
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Old 12-17-2013, 12:35 AM   #137
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He tied me to the 4 corners of the bed, rubbed me down with baby oil, then used my toy on me, then, ummm, used me as his toy!
lucky you
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Old 12-27-2013, 06:42 PM   #138
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So, again, I got dumped.

Trust me, this one really hurt.

I thought I was being sexy, adventurous, kinky. He tied me up, I deepthroated him, even got over my hangups about anal sex so we could have that. The he just stopped calling or texting.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to start all over again?
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Old 12-27-2013, 06:55 PM   #139
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So, again, I got dumped.

Trust me, this one really hurt.

I thought I was being sexy, adventurous, kinky. He tied me up, I deepthroated him, even got over my hangups about anal sex so we could have that. The he just stopped calling or texting.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to start all over again?
Ugh. That sounds pretty awful. Sorry to hear! I don't understand the sudden loss of contact. I've never done that in my life... is he some kind of coward that he can't properly end a relationship? I think sending a text is pretty bad, but would still be far better than nothing. No hints as to why?

It sounds like you have expanded your horizons, though it sounds like you might have done it more for him than you... hope not, though (hope YOU enjoyed it). Still, sounds like you have quite a lot of experiences that will be enjoyed when the right guy comes around (though that's probably the last thing you're thinking of at this point).

And yes, it's ALWAYS hard to start again, but hopefully each time gets you closer to "the one". That's what I keep telling myself, at least.
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Old 12-27-2013, 09:06 PM   #140
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So, again, I got dumped.

Trust me, this one really hurt.

I thought I was being sexy, adventurous, kinky. He tied me up, I deepthroated him, even got over my hangups about anal sex so we could have that. The he just stopped calling or texting.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to start all over again?
Stop trying to find a BF and start living your life.

Volunteer at a cause you care about.

Take a class at a local college.

Learn to play the guitar.

The second you stop looking for a mate and start living your life, I promise you will meet people you enjoy being with, and that is your path to finding a worthy companion.

Do NOT act needy or lonely! You will attract the wrong crowd.
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Old 12-28-2013, 12:03 AM   #141
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So, again, I got dumped.

Trust me, this one really hurt.

I thought I was being sexy, adventurous, kinky. He tied me up, I deepthroated him, even got over my hangups about anal sex so we could have that. The he just stopped calling or texting.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to start all over again?
It's awful. I'm faced with that exact prospect right now, and it really scares me.

On the plus side, I hope you enjoyed doing all that stuff! Glad you're getting over your hang ups over anal. Hope it was fun!
But seriously, as the last poster said, live life more for yourself. I know it's much easier said than done, but do what you want. Seriously. Everyone loves a woman who's passionate about things - whether it's one or many - so just do what you like to do. You'll meet people, hit it off, and who knows, maybe the right person is right around the corner. Just keep moving forwards. Again, I need to follow my own advice here, but yeah. I am still utterly in love with the person who broke my heart, so I'll need more time. But yeah, in short - think less about being with someone and more about what makes you happy and what you like, and the rest will follow.
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Old 12-28-2013, 12:19 AM   #142
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Sorry to hear what you are going through... If there is any advice I can give you is, it hurts right now yes, but it is experience that will mold you later in life.

After I got divorced in my mid-twenties, I went on a tear, I had zero desire for a relationship, just mindless, emotionally unattached sex. Some women were all in support of that, others attached on and I had to cut them loose. I regret letting a few get away, and I will have to live with that and I regret the way I treated those that wanted more than just sex.

In time I wanted to date again, commit to relationship and karma played games with me as I met and had on again off again fuck buddy relationships with a few women that only wanted sex, despite my desire to have relationship with them. They did what I had done to others and just cut me loose.

What I am trying to tell you is that we all go through phases in our lives and matching up those phases of our lives with another person can be difficult, but in time you will find a person who wants the same thing that you do at the same time. Hopefully you learned something in this relationship, whether it be about yourself or what you do and don't like in sex and just life in general.

BTW: If you don't like something it bed, you shouldn't do it just to keep a guy around, only do it because you want to do it. Hang in there, it gets better with time.
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Old 12-28-2013, 04:42 AM   #143
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Stop trying to find a BF and start living your life.

Volunteer at a cause you care about.

Take a class at a local college.

Learn to play the guitar.

The second you stop looking for a mate and start living your life, I promise you will meet people you enjoy being with, and that is your path to finding a worthy companion.

Do NOT act needy or lonely! You will attract the wrong crowd.
This.

I agree with DallasDonna. Just relax, and enjoy living your life.

Sex is obviously not the cause of your troubles (and tbh I never thought it was). Are all the bf's you've had the same type of person? If you do as DD suggests and spread your wings a bit, you will meet many more people from different walks of life who may open your eyes to different types of guys.
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:07 PM   #144
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Thumbs up

You're still so young ...

Lots of good advice like

Don't act needy or lonely!

Relax! Enjoy your life

Spread your wings

Then one day, it will all fall into place
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:14 PM   #145
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Originally Posted by tiny_tits View Post
So, again, I got dumped.

Trust me, this one really hurt.

I thought I was being sexy, adventurous, kinky. He tied me up, I deepthroated him, even got over my hangups about anal sex so we could have that. The he just stopped calling or texting.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to start all over again?
Hey Tiny,

I'm sorry to hear this news. It's never fun when you've put yourself out there.

I couldn't agree more with Dallas' advice.

Try not to worry about guys. Just go live your life. Be who you are. From what I can tell, you are an awesome, open person and guys will be plentiful.

Keep your chin up!
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Old 12-28-2013, 04:18 PM   #146
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Originally Posted by tiny_tits View Post
So, again, I got dumped.

Trust me, this one really hurt.

I thought I was being sexy, adventurous, kinky. He tied me up, I deepthroated him, even got over my hangups about anal sex so we could have that. The he just stopped calling or texting.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to start all over again?
Without knowing you, I think you are confusing two things and thinking one goes with the other. You are seeking a relationship with a guy, want a BF relationship, and I think you assume that the ability to find one is predicated mostly on how adventurous you are in bed. I am not pooh poohing the sex aspect of it, obviously *smile*, but I think the problem is you are seeking relationships with guys who aren't compatible, and the guys, being like many guys, are not averse to having sex with a woman, who is willing to 'put out in bed', and then dumping them...I can tell you there are a lot of guys like that out there, they are players, many of them have 'real' relationships, and they aren't looking for what you want.

What I would tell you is instead of blaming it on yourself, to put the blame where it needs to be, on both parties. My therapist used to say that you get treated the way you allow people to, and that is true. If you are looking for a relationship, I agree with others, instead of looking for guys based on sexual attraction primarily, start doing things where you might meet guys who share similar interests, where you become friends before being BF/GF, etc. I haven't read the whole thread, but if you are finding guys through dating sites or through bars or whatever, that are sex oriented, it is a lot more difficult to find a relationship. Ask friends of yours with BF's, ask older women who are married (or men), and ask how they met, how their relationship happened..and I would bet you would find they met in ways you might not expect.

One of the big assumptions we all make is somehow the fault is with us, when relationships are a two way street, it takes two people in synch. One of the things about being young is that many men and women don't really know how to date, how to build a relationship, they have been so in the mesh of hormones and the excitement of 'coming of age', they don't really remember how friendships happen and so forth..and as a result, it often creates a chain of failures before things fall into place. My wife and I are kind of odd, we met in college when we were 19, and both of us were socially awkward, were not very adept at the sex partner thing for a lot of reasons, and maybe because of that we established a friends relationship, where we spent time talking and doing things, sharing with each other, long before we had sex, and for some reason it worked, how two screwed up people a psychiatrist said were a fucking anamoly as a couple stayed the way we have, who knows?

In any event, there probably is nothing wrong with you, it isn't because you are a sexpot or not, it simply is you haven't found the right guy yet. 22 might seem old, but looking back, it is a babe in the woods, literally
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Old 12-28-2013, 05:02 PM   #147
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tiny_tits View Post
So, again, I got dumped.

Trust me, this one really hurt.

I thought I was being sexy, adventurous, kinky. He tied me up, I deepthroated him, even got over my hangups about anal sex so we could have that. The he just stopped calling or texting.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to start all over again?
Yep...I got a REALLY good idea how hard that it sucks...and then eventually you have a good day, then a couple and eventually you are GLAD you aren't tied down. (No pun intended.)

Given the above activities that require a HIGH degree of trust..you are going to be fine...trusting people is the hard skill. Enjoying people is easy once you can suspend disbelief long enough to have some fun.

When things go south...and they often do for good reason and ones you
never understand...don't let that person steal the pleasure of the memories. They WERE that person for the time...they just aren't able to be awesome on your level full-time...
Quote:
Originally Posted by DallasDonna View Post
Stop trying to find a BF and start living your life.

Volunteer at a cause you care about.

Take a class at a local college.

Learn to play the guitar.

The second you stop looking for a mate and start living your life, I promise you will meet people you enjoy being with, and that is your path to finding a worthy companion.

Do NOT act needy or lonely! You will attract the wrong crowd.
This is money.

Do things that scare you. Adrenaline is sexy fun.

Be the best you, and people worth knowing will find you.
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Old 01-01-2014, 04:54 AM   #148
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Yep...I got a REALLY good idea how hard that it sucks...and then eventually you have a good day, then a couple and eventually you are GLAD you aren't tied down. (No pun intended.)

Given the above activities that require a HIGH degree of trust..you are going to be fine...trusting people is the hard skill. Enjoying people is easy once you can suspend disbelief long enough to have some fun.

When things go south...and they often do for good reason and ones you
never understand...don't let that person steal the pleasure of the memories. They WERE that person for the time...they just aren't able to be awesome on your level full-time...


This is money.

Do things that scare you. Adrenaline is sexy fun.

Be the best you, and people worth knowing will find you.
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Old 01-01-2014, 06:34 PM   #149
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So, again, I got dumped.
I tried to warn you, but hey, you weren't really serious about getting the right advice anyway, you just wanted the advice you wanted to hear.

*shrugs*
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Old 01-02-2014, 03:30 PM   #150
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While I really admire you for wanting to improve on your sexuality I can't help but think you are trying to do this to make up for other shortcomings such as tiny tits and other things. It might help us to understand you better if we knew your age. I don't remember seeing it in this thread. I think you are taking the normal cycle of life such as breakups and relationships that don't work out too personally as rejections for which your solution is to up the sexuality level when in really it is something else that needs working on instead. Most relationships don't work out and most people suffer several heartaches and being dumped and this is just a normal part of life. You eventually get over it and move on. I'm just trying to give some friendly advice in that if you have other issues which are actually causing your problems those aren't going to be fixed by working on your sexuality. Don't get me wrong though, if you keep on going down this path you will be one very hot broad. You already are. Just food for thought. Hope you don't get offended by the "broad" remark. If so, please replace with a more appropriate word.
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