Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > BDSM Talk

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 11-26-2013, 05:56 PM   #26
midwestyankee
Master of Maintenance Sex
 
midwestyankee's Avatar
 
midwestyankee is offline
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In a place where Winter is a BFD.
Posts: 25,474
Quote:
Originally Posted by query View Post
hmmm...got me thinking..

As I re-read my own post for clarity I DID find myself disagreeing with myself.

I strongly object to the notion being taught in modern education that a teacher ought not correct grammar and spelling in for example subjects that are NOT grammar and spelling.

That "getting ideas out' trumps learning to communicate your ideas or to understand the ideas of others.
As a former English teacher, who was trained just as the "self-esteem movement" was getting under way, I can sympathize with your feelings here. Because of prevailing political winds, I had to find ways to correct grammar and punctuation and such without much use of the red pen. My students seemed to have come out just fine, in the end.
Quote:
Originally Posted by query View Post
...And this isn't dirtystory-ica. One would like to presume a level of literacy here.

I agree that one should probably expect to be taken a little less seriously with sloppy syntax.

Needs some balance, I think.
Yes, it does. If you spend enough time here, you'll see that a few of the more popular regulars regularly put up posts that include numerous spelling and/or grammatical errors. Perhaps they have earned enough respect from the other regulars that no one ever calls them to task for these errors. In truth, that's where the balance comes in, at least here. Those who participate in the community regularly and offer up contributions that add to the discussion are given plenty of slack. Those who burst in the door and demand immediate attention before giving anything forward beforehand tend to draw our ire.

Quote:
Originally Posted by query View Post
As I look past the beam in my eye, I see a LOT of motes on the windows of other's glass houses when they play the grammar "knock-out" game. Those with the education, experience and true gift with language rarely seem to.

Just once I would like to see an cleverly artful correction done with great humor and elan.

I DO see those sort of gentle corrections when it comes to content. Where someone kindly explains that a neophyte has some counterproductive assumptions built into their thoughts on a subject.
I'm quite sure this happens from time to time. Keep your eye on DGE.
Quote:
Originally Posted by query View Post
With grammar it seems ignore it or break out the red pen and the ruler. (I am also old enough to recall corporal punishment in the classroom..on the other hand...it worked.)
I think that what you may be seeing here is that there is relatively little nuance involved when someone simply uses the incorrect word. Either one has used the right word or not. A green sky is simply not how one describes a fine June day. At the other extreme, there can be plenty of nuance in any discussion of the how, why, where, and when of bdsm practices or other aspects of relationships that are discussed here. Thus it's much more common for gentle suggestiion to be a part of the discussion of content.
__________________
"I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it.”
Shakespeare - As You Like It
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-26-2013, 06:01 PM   #27
Beck31
Literotica Guru
 
Beck31's Avatar
 
Beck31 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: California
Posts: 4,407
Angry

I know what Blaze meant. So she misspelled some things. So what?
No reason to be d-bags and a-holes about it. Like she said it is a thread, not a spelling quiz.
Instead of sniping about the spelling why not just answer the g-d damn question?
I tend to lean toward submissive and that is the way I was taught. I learned how to be a better sub and had to better please my more dominant partner.
__________________
SF Giants: 2014 World Series Champs
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-26-2013, 06:03 PM   #28
midwestyankee
Master of Maintenance Sex
 
midwestyankee's Avatar
 
midwestyankee is offline
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In a place where Winter is a BFD.
Posts: 25,474
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pachet View Post
I think tone matters when correcting people, too. I mean, lets be honest, "I think dominant is the word you're looking for" is a bit snarky. "Is the word you're looking for" (or "is the word you seek") is a bit condescending. And "when you grow up you'll understand the difference" is downright rude.

I like to think I have a good vocabulary, but I misuse words occasionally. If someone corrected me with a tone of superiority, I'd probably have an attitude with them back as well. Sure, spelling is important, but there's no reason to get an attitude with someone who's legitimately trying to discuss something just because they mispelled/misused a word.
Fair enough. It's definitely one of the real weaknesses of text-only communication that tone is difficult to convey accurately. No doubt this is why smileys and other emoticons were developed.

As I was replying to query, above, it occurred to me that the grammatical corrections generally happen most to new posters here, like the one who started this thread, who aren't familiar to the regulars. Being new, by itself, is not an issue. I think what I see is that those whose very first post is to start a thread that demands our attention without seeming to offer much in return are at greater risk for getting the snarky or rude response.

Does anyone else see this pattern that I think I'm seeing?
__________________
"I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it.”
Shakespeare - As You Like It
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-26-2013, 07:22 PM   #29
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
 
Stella_Omega's Avatar
 
Stella_Omega is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Shaken, not stirred
Posts: 39,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwestyankee View Post
If the only people reading this forum were regulars who have grown accustomed to this misuse, I would agree with you. But we both know there are probably more people reading here who do not post than there are those who do. That this is true is an argument with which I'm sure you're quite familiar because I know you've used it to support the argument in some of your own posts from time to time. I don't doubt the ability of our regulars to suss out the OP's intent. I do wonder about the ability of such flagrant misuse of terminology that is central to understanding the nuance of bdsm practice to misinform and thus confuse readers who are newer to the forum and, possibly, to bdsm as well.
I did not mean 'only people who post here."

I meant "almost every person on the internet."

You knew what he meant, you had no trouble sussing it out. Yeahthat missing letter, and the meaning shift it creates, hurts my sensibilities like fingernails on a chalkboard, but if grammer-domming is more fun for us than actual conversation, let's just say so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwestyankee View Post
Fair enough. It's definitely one of the real weaknesses of text-only communication that tone is difficult to convey accurately. No doubt this is why smileys and other emoticons were developed.

As I was replying to query, above, it occurred to me that the grammatical corrections generally happen most to new posters here, like the one who started this thread, who aren't familiar to the regulars. Being new, by itself, is not an issue. I think what I see is that those whose very first post is to start a thread that demands our attention without seeming to offer much in return are at greater risk for getting the snarky or rude response.

Does anyone else see this pattern that I think I'm seeing?
Absolutely agree with this-- on both points
__________________
"Oh woe, these be perilous times! Children no longer obey their elders, and everybody is writing a book!"
--Pliny the Elder, AD76

All about Stella; My AH profile
Stella's stories on lit

An essay for BDSM Newbies; Top, bottom, dominant, submissive-- and the differences thereof Now rewritten with extra sparkle!

Last edited by Stella_Omega : 11-26-2013 at 07:27 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-27-2013, 12:12 AM   #30
midwestyankee
Master of Maintenance Sex
 
midwestyankee's Avatar
 
midwestyankee is offline
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In a place where Winter is a BFD.
Posts: 25,474
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
I did not mean 'only people who post here."

I meant "almost every person on the internet."

You knew what he meant, you had no trouble sussing it out. Yeahthat missing letter, and the meaning shift it creates, hurts my sensibilities like fingernails on a chalkboard, but if grammer-domming is more fun for us than actual conversation, let's just say so.
Absolutely agree with this-- on both points
I prefer to think of it as grammar-topping, thank you.
__________________
"I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it.”
Shakespeare - As You Like It
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-27-2013, 08:28 AM   #31
ecstaticsub
Literotica Guru
 
ecstaticsub's Avatar
 
ecstaticsub is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,293
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwestyankee View Post
Fair enough. It's definitely one of the real weaknesses of text-only communication that tone is difficult to convey accurately. No doubt this is why smileys and other emoticons were developed.

As I was replying to query, above, it occurred to me that the grammatical corrections generally happen most to new posters here, like the one who started this thread, who aren't familiar to the regulars. Being new, by itself, is not an issue. I think what I see is that those whose very first post is to start a thread that demands our attention without seeming to offer much in return are at greater risk for getting the snarky or rude response.

Does anyone else see this pattern that I think I'm seeing?

Yes, and as a multi-year regular I thank the the more grammatically correct regulars for forgiving my very frequent typos and lack of grammar knowledge.
__________________
I'm looking for kinky girlfriends-My Lit Personal Ad

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."~~~Frieda Norris The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-27-2013, 08:30 AM   #32
ecstaticsub
Literotica Guru
 
ecstaticsub's Avatar
 
ecstaticsub is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,293
To answer the OP's question:

I am a submissive in my D/s relationship. I am a submissive in that relationship by choice, not by nature. By nature I tend to be dominant in a vacuum of dominance, submissive around dominance I respect.
__________________
I'm looking for kinky girlfriends-My Lit Personal Ad

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."~~~Frieda Norris The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-27-2013, 05:32 PM   #33
Primalex
能ある鷹は爪を隠す。
 
Primalex's Avatar
 
Primalex is offline
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 3,643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pachet View Post
but there's no reason to get an attitude with someone who's legitimately trying to discuss something
I really wonder how you want to discuss this thread topic.

"No, Pachet, you might think that you lean towards that side, but in reality, you lean towards the other one!"

__________________
There is no good and evil, there is only power...and those too weak to seek it.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2013, 03:55 AM   #34
query
Loquacious Sesquipedalian
 
query's Avatar
 
query is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: High Plains
Posts: 12,708
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwestyankee View Post
I prefer to think of it as grammar-topping, thank you.
Kind of an unpaid service top position?

One of the things I worry happens with correction of all sort (aside from OTK spankings which always seem appropriate) is that people with less confidence in the worth of their potential contributions shrink with the violets.

What made me think of that was that as I made my little joke, I questioned myself. "Does that even make sense?" I had to rack my brain to see if I was making obvious errors in the use of BDSM terms.

I recognize I am a neophyte when it comes to protocol and picking labels. I often see dynamics on the surface. I LOVE Stella's corrections of my usage. They make me really ponder at times. I am not, however, typically a wallflower.

I am fortunate that my hit-and-miss commando-raid style of parachuting in on various threads and sub-fora that I occasionally come to the attention of that rarest of reader. When I get an out of the blue message from a near or even total lurker who turns out to be facing a fascinating life choice, of shyly relates a gem to warm a voyeur's cockles.

Not anyone's responsibility to MAKE a lurker participate, but I do try. Maybe the painfully shy can't be helped even if we had campfires and s'mores...but I ponder.
__________________
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2013, 07:11 AM   #35
IrisAlthea
Literotica Guru
 
IrisAlthea's Avatar
 
IrisAlthea is offline
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,535
Quote:
Originally Posted by query View Post
Kind of an unpaid service top position?

One of the things I worry happens with correction of all sort (aside from OTK spankings which always seem appropriate) is that people with less confidence in the worth of their potential contributions shrink with the violets.

What made me think of that was that as I made my little joke, I questioned myself. "Does that even make sense?" I had to rack my brain to see if I was making obvious errors in the use of BDSM terms.

I recognize I am a neophyte when it comes to protocol and picking labels. I often see dynamics on the surface. I LOVE Stella's corrections of my usage. They make me really ponder at times. I am not, however, typically a wallflower.

I am fortunate that my hit-and-miss commando-raid style of parachuting in on various threads and sub-fora that I occasionally come to the attention of that rarest of reader. When I get an out of the blue message from a near or even total lurker who turns out to be facing a fascinating life choice, of shyly relates a gem to warm a voyeur's cockles.

Not anyone's responsibility to MAKE a lurker participate, but I do try. Maybe the painfully shy can't be helped even if we had campfires and s'mores...but I ponder.
I think we do miss some interesting points of wiew, because people are shy.
On the other hand, when I get a PM from a lurker it's usually from someone who is very confident in the worth of their potential contribution, but very clearly doesn't want their point of view challenged by others.

In short, to participate in discussion you usually have to be at least ok with other people disagreeing. When you try to create an atmosphere where even the very shy will post, you usually end up with an atmosphere where no real discussion can take place.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2013, 02:20 PM   #36
Curious_in_Cali
~~ waiting ~~
 
Curious_in_Cali's Avatar
 
Curious_in_Cali is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Golden Daydreams
Posts: 15,713
I seem to lean toward dominant type folks in a magnetic swoony want to be near them because they smell like caramel sort of way. That said, I have no idea what it really says about me anymore, but yes, I am learning and have learned a lot in the mean time.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2013, 08:01 PM   #37
midwestyankee
Master of Maintenance Sex
 
midwestyankee's Avatar
 
midwestyankee is offline
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In a place where Winter is a BFD.
Posts: 25,474
Quote:
Originally Posted by query View Post
Kind of an unpaid service top position?
No, I don't see it that way at all. A service top, as I understand the nomenclature, performs topping acts at the behest of another. No one ever asks for the grammar police to come knocking at their post.

However, my post was mostly an inside joke playing off Stella's indefatigable effort to teach people the differences between dominance and topping as well as between submission and bottoming.
__________________
"I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it.”
Shakespeare - As You Like It
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-01-2013, 09:01 PM   #38
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
 
Stella_Omega's Avatar
 
Stella_Omega is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Shaken, not stirred
Posts: 39,579
*gasp* It's all my fault!

__________________
"Oh woe, these be perilous times! Children no longer obey their elders, and everybody is writing a book!"
--Pliny the Elder, AD76

All about Stella; My AH profile
Stella's stories on lit

An essay for BDSM Newbies; Top, bottom, dominant, submissive-- and the differences thereof Now rewritten with extra sparkle!
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2013, 03:49 AM   #39
IrisAlthea
Literotica Guru
 
IrisAlthea's Avatar
 
IrisAlthea is offline
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,535
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwestyankee View Post
No, I don't see it that way at all. A service top, as I understand the nomenclature, performs topping acts at the behest of another. No one ever asks for the grammar police to come knocking at their post.

However, my post was mostly an inside joke playing off Stella's indefatigable effort to teach people the differences between dominance and topping as well as between submission and bottoming.
I will not drink tea while reading posts by MWY.
I will not drink tea while reading posts by MWY.
I will not drink tea while reading posts by MWY.
I will not drink tea while reading posts by MWY...
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-02-2013, 05:33 AM   #40
ErikaSims
Virgin
 
ErikaSims is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 16
I'm more sub
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-06-2013, 11:25 AM   #41
makaronas
Experienced
 
makaronas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 38
Dominate
__________________
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go anywhere
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-06-2013, 02:58 PM   #42
lilturtle
Experienced
 
lilturtle is offline
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 34
I am a submissive babygirl who has a Daddy Dom. I like a gentler Dom at times that can appreciate and nurture my little side. I have been guilty of topping from the bottom sometimes but I wouldn't call myself a switch. Maybe more of a brat at those times.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-06-2013, 03:37 PM   #43
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
 
Stella_Omega's Avatar
 
Stella_Omega is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Shaken, not stirred
Posts: 39,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilturtle View Post
I am a submissive babygirl who has a Daddy Dom. I like a gentler Dom at times that can appreciate and nurture my little side. I have been guilty of topping from the bottom sometimes but I wouldn't call myself a switch. Maybe more of a brat at those times.
Daddies are very often indulgent. That's part of the dynamic....

That said, EVERYONE tops from the bottom once in a while. Unless you have zero ego at ll and no sense of self-preservation, or else your top is the most bestest mind reader in the known universe.

I get so sick of people talking about personal preferences and needs as if they were a terrible thing that (women) should never have met.

Read the essay linked in my sig, please.
__________________
"Oh woe, these be perilous times! Children no longer obey their elders, and everybody is writing a book!"
--Pliny the Elder, AD76

All about Stella; My AH profile
Stella's stories on lit

An essay for BDSM Newbies; Top, bottom, dominant, submissive-- and the differences thereof Now rewritten with extra sparkle!
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-06-2013, 08:24 PM   #44
FindingFire
Experienced
 
FindingFire is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 48
I'm always perceived as a dominate but deep down inside I'm looking for the Dom that will tame and satiate me.
__________________
~A kiss is the upper persuasion to a lower invasion...
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-06-2013, 09:33 PM   #45
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
 
Stella_Omega's Avatar
 
Stella_Omega is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Shaken, not stirred
Posts: 39,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by FindingFire View Post
I'm always perceived as a dominant but deep down inside I'm looking for the Dom that will tame and satiate me.
Yes, it's a curse. Everyone wants to be done unto.
__________________
"Oh woe, these be perilous times! Children no longer obey their elders, and everybody is writing a book!"
--Pliny the Elder, AD76

All about Stella; My AH profile
Stella's stories on lit

An essay for BDSM Newbies; Top, bottom, dominant, submissive-- and the differences thereof Now rewritten with extra sparkle!
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-23-2013, 07:52 PM   #46
SwtSassyNrse26
southern sweetness
 
SwtSassyNrse26's Avatar
 
SwtSassyNrse26 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: SC
Posts: 3,084
Happily submissive.
__________________
If you must misbehave be charming about it
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-24-2013, 03:09 AM   #47
DarlingCunt
Really Really Experienced
 
DarlingCunt's Avatar
 
DarlingCunt is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: California
Posts: 301
I feel like I'm definitely more submissive sexually, but I have a pretty assertive personality type.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-24-2013, 02:05 PM   #48
LadiLucki7
Literotica Guru
 
LadiLucki7's Avatar
 
LadiLucki7 is online now
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: VA
Posts: 584
I always thought I was submissive to an extent but was still pretty dominating sexually but I am still searching for the right Dom that can take full control so that I can be truly submissive.
__________________
¤~¤LadiiLuck¤~¤
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-24-2013, 04:15 PM   #49
Lrn_The_Ropes
Literotica Guru
 
Lrn_The_Ropes's Avatar
 
Lrn_The_Ropes is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: West Coast
Posts: 7,639
I lean more to the Dom side, but I love it when I order my kitten to whip me.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-30-2013, 05:28 PM   #50
bashfull
raunchy romantic
 
bashfull's Avatar
 
bashfull is offline
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,156
Dominant
__________________
"Take her to the point where the flow of air in the room feels as a breeze, each aroma realized, separate from all others. To taste all the components of each drop of sweat as they roll down her cheek, licked from the corners of her mouth. To know the heat of my breath as I breathe upon her skin, my lips milimeters from her, caressing each curve. When her inhibitions are released, her desires craving, her senses pulsing, then I like to move her arms above her head..."---me, Bash

My first musing submission. Please vote.
Primal Anal

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=271877] My Musings

"Just because I'm a romantic doesn't mean I won't fuck your brains out"

People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. There is much chaos in this world because things are being loved and people are being used.

So, what do YOU want?
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:50 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.