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Old 01-10-2014, 03:33 PM   #101
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Thanks for the blog link - I'll bookmark that.
Ha! Trying to walk that PC tightrope gets people tied in knots and discussions on Lit can get so heated over the slip of a word, or sometimes you can see someone has good intentions and just isn't familiar with all the nuances of the trans world. You can't get through to people once they're angry or defensive and at that point I always wish I could pass round a bottle of Chil-the-fuck-down.

As a side note, I haven't finished Serano's book yet: it's good reading, her words flow well, but I can guarantee within five minutes of picking it up I'm fighting to keep my eyes open!
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Old 01-10-2014, 03:51 PM   #102
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Thanks for the blog link - I'll bookmark that.
Ha! Trying to walk that PC tightrope gets people tied in knots and discussions on Lit can get so heated over the slip of a word, or sometimes you can see someone has good intentions and just isn't familiar with all the nuances of the trans world. You can't get through to people once they're angry or defensive and at that point I always wish I could pass round a bottle of Chil-the-fuck-down.

As a side note, I haven't finished Serano's book yet: it's good reading, her words flow well, but I can guarantee within five minutes of picking it up I'm fighting to keep my eyes open!
The older I get, and that is old these days, the more I think the words are secondary. What is in the heart is what matters. In the end it is whether people love and care for people. If they do, then, gender is there to be celebrated, whatever gender. And love for M, F, TG, TS or Z (Z ? only joking with Z) or anyone in doubt and confusion. Maybe the latter need the most love of the lot. Confusion is very hard to deal with. Confusion in anything to do with the mind and body. Perhaps most of all in the mind. But love is such a help.

Anyway, a question please, what is your favourite kind of material for clothing ?

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Old 01-11-2014, 04:26 PM   #103
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Old 01-11-2014, 05:50 PM   #104
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Wishing..

I wish there was a "Like" button, as many of these posts are absolutely to my liking. I wish I had more to contribute, but have been having some health issues that are keeping me down....but I do catch up here as often as possible.
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Old 01-12-2014, 05:57 PM   #105
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The older I get, and that is old these days, the more I think the words are secondary. What is in the heart is what matters. ...But love is such a help.

Anyway, a question please, what is your favourite kind of material for clothing ?
Can't deny big love Richie!
Oo, at last - a non-political question!
Hmm, well if it's a fabric then it has to be cotton but from a fashion/style angle then I love properly tailored wool coats. I watched a friend spend a fortune on some clothes at Xmas in Jigsaw and Hobbs and could have given anything for the coats she bought: they were beautiful

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I only just got to reading these! Thanks haurni, that's really cheered me up

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I wish there was a "Like" button, as many of these posts are absolutely to my liking. I wish I had more to contribute, but have been having some health issues that are keeping me down....but I do catch up here as often as possible.
Thanks for stopping by and I'm sorry you've been unwell
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Old 01-12-2014, 07:28 PM   #106
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I only just got to reading these! Thanks haurni, that's really cheered me up
Always happy to be of assistance.
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Old 01-29-2014, 01:05 PM   #107
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Gender boxes
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lets hear your comments
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Old 01-30-2014, 12:16 AM   #108
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I like it a lot. Immediately posted it to my FB page.

The presentation reminds me of the Duluth MN anti-racism Un-Fair Campaign.
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Old 02-03-2014, 01:40 PM   #109
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If you're interested in trans (and specifically MtF) and you like Tumblr then I'd recommend http://askatranswoman.tumblr.com/ because she keeps taking words out of my mouth!! *** recommended follow
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Old 02-06-2014, 04:02 PM   #110
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Got a question for y'all. Should I have sex with a woman before I have my surgery? Quite apart from even finding myself in a situation where I could, should I? I've got my own ideas about it but maybe someone will come up with something I hadn't thought of so I'd value your thoughts and suggestions.
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Old 02-06-2014, 04:34 PM   #111
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The me that I was at your age would have said, yes. I avoided the emotional and sought out the sex, not really a good way to be. But I know from reading your posts you're most likely already emotionally involved.

I'll ask you a question instead of giving you an outright answer. Is there an emotional reason you should not, yours or her's?

The only advice I can give is to follow your heart.

Edited to add, assuming there already is a her.
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Old 02-06-2014, 05:31 PM   #112
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hiya sticky!!!!! just looked over your thread...i have to say that as long as you are happy that's all that matters. you are fun and great company. who needs to ask more?

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Old 02-06-2014, 08:12 PM   #113
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Sticky, hope all is well with you!!
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Old 02-07-2014, 02:58 AM   #114
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Same Question

Got a question for y'all. Should I have sex with a woman before I have my surgery? Quite apart from even finding myself in a situation where I could, should I? I've got my own ideas about it but maybe someone will come up with something I hadn't thought of so I'd value your thoughts and suggestions.
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Old 02-07-2014, 03:27 AM   #115
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Got a question for y'all. Should I have sex with a woman before I have my surgery? Quite apart from even finding myself in a situation where I could, should I? I've got my own ideas about it but maybe someone will come up with something I hadn't thought of so I'd value your thoughts and suggestions.
At the risk of sitting on the fence : I can't see any reason why not if the woman knows the situation.
But getting even more on the fence.
If you Feel in Your Soul Yes : Yes
If You Feel In Your Soul No : No

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Old 02-07-2014, 11:23 AM   #116
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I don't see why you shouldn't. I realize there's a potential minefield there, but if she knows that you're trans and is okay with that then most of those issues are avoided and I don't see much of a problem. What's your concern?
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Old 02-07-2014, 02:05 PM   #117
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Am I trans? Autogynephilic?

What's your take on 'autogynephilia', at least as a descriptive concept?

I understand the dislike by Julia Serano and other transgender activists for the term and their issues with it. As I understand it, as used by Blanchard it basically distinguishes 'homosexual transsexuals' (heterosexual transwomen) from 'autogynephilic transexuals' (bi or lesbian transwomen) and claims that the two groups have different motivations for transitioning - specifically, that the former 'want to be women' simply because they are attracted to men, whereas the latter seek to do so largely because of 'transvestic fetishism' - they are sexually aroused by dressing in women's clothing and engaging in other female-associated behaviours.

Other research (e.g. Nuttbrock et al. 2011) has suggested that Blanchard's findings of 'transvestic fetishism' in bi or lesbian MTF transwomen were correct to a degree but may simply be a cultural artefact (a 'historically fading' and 'generational phenomenon' that was observed primarily in white males at the time Blanchard did his work in the 1980s). Nuttbrock et al stated that "the [lesbian transwomen] reported comparatively higher levels of lifetime and lifecourse persistent transvestic fetishism; the bisexuals reported comparatively higher levels of adolescent limited transvestic fetishism. During adolescence, and puberty in particular, bisexual MTFs may have broadly defined experiences of sexuality, including different types of partners and transvestic fetishism, which diminish and become better clarified as they mature into adulthood". They did note, to their credit, that not all transwomen had engaged in transvestic behaviours and, therefore, that it was not deterministic - i.e. one need not have any particular attraction to wearing women's clothing in order to be transgender.

In the words of Anne Lawrence, an apologist for Blanchard, "there are also some of us male-to-female transsexuals [who] transitioned in our 30's, 40's, or even later, after having lived outwardly successful lives as men. Often we were not especially feminine as children, and some of us are not especially feminine after transition, either. Many of us were, or occasionally still are, married to women; often we have fathered children. A sizable number of us identify as lesbian or bisexual after reassignment. Many of us have a past history of sexual arousal in association with cross-dressing. Yet there is no doubt that we can suffer from intense gender dysphoria, and no less so than our more outwardly feminine transsexual sisters. And we pursue sex reassignment surgery every bit as intensely, too." (Here, of course, there is the issue of 'passing' - a point also raised very capably by Serano - as if the ability to do so somehow legitimizes one's status as a transgender person.)

I agree with Serano and others who dispute the causality implied in Blanchard's typology, but at the same time I find the idea of autogynephilia interesting from a descriptive point of view in that some aspects of it tend to describe my own particular experience - brief and limited transvestism during adolescence (sexual exploration, basically), bisexual with a stronger attraction to women than men, a later-life interest in transition and an arousal by fantasies of myself as female. (I appreciate it as descriptive of a subgroup of MTF people rather than deterministic because I realize that not all MTF, or even all bi MTF, will display these same characteristics.) Pretty much since my late teens I've said that I acknowledge myself as male but that, if I had been given the choice at birth, I would have chosen differently. My gender dysphoria is not strong enough to make me want to undergo the stress of transitioning at my age, but if I had a magic wand that would allow me to become female (with all the appropriate knowledge) in an instant, I would absolutely do it (though I might also want to switch back from time to time). My cybersex personas are almost exclusively female, and I actually feel uncomfortable cybering as a male unless I'm playing 'as myself'. I'm also now entertaining the idea of doing a 'drag' photo shoot to see how I might look as a woman (rather than because wearing women's clothes arouses me) and I've played with some images of myself in Photoshop to accomplish the same goal. This also begs the (mostly rhetorical) question - do I post pictures of my dick online because I identify as male or to reassure myself of my masculinity?

As time goes by I'm becoming more comfortable with expressing more typically female behaviours and attitudes. Over the last couple of years I've had the mental and emotional freedom to investigate the possibility of being transgender in more detail, and I find myself moving to the conclusion that I might be 'borderline' (if such a thing exists). What would your knowledge and experience suggest? (I'm also open to comments by Stella_Omega and other trans folks.)
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Old 02-07-2014, 05:30 PM   #118
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Phewee Haurni - you know how to ask a question and your knowledge of recent papers far outweighs my own.

Your question covers two groups of trans women, while acknowledging individual variations by way of overlaps and omissions. In the broadest terms: those who id as female very early in life and those for whom it is a creeping mist that envelopes them later on. Is it fair to divide a group that is by its very nature so diverse? Is it fair to target 'older' trans women simply because they can be identified more easily: because they've fathered children or had careers as men? Is one or another more valid, or enough of an anomaly to warrant academic interest?

Couldn't the older trans people have simply not had the opportunity to transition 20 or 30 years ago? I think this would account for many of them but time will tell I suppose. Was there a suicide rate amongst that group whose true cause remains unrecorded? Or do additional modern social pressures mean that more young trans* are taking their own lives? That's a pretty grim thought. I wonder if the suicide rate in young people has increased across the board in the last 30 years, reflecting a wider range of pressures on them? I seem to have concentrated on one horrific aspect of the trans world and I feel uncomfortable idly juggling statistics.

So why the older group? Are men eating too much microwave food from food packaging that contains oestrogen-mimicking compounds (BPA)? Is the water supply contaminated with bi-product oestrogen from contraceptives ( strong enough to change the sex of test fish at sewage outlets )? Dropping levels of testosterone and male fertility are well documented, so who is to say that an individual's perception is not skewed by such environmental factors? No one yet: too much for the food industry to contemplate or admit to. Would that explain, as your examples cite, a greater level of autogynephilia amongst older transitioners, because of a shift in hormonal balance rather than variations in pre-natal brain structure?

In my case, I knew I was somehow different from a very young age - something my mother noticed too. It was only towards puberty that I was able to finally have words to express what that difference was. I grew up without a father and have an older sister so my home environment was already quite feminine and I think that provided me with a cushion to my early dysphoria. It was only when my body wanted to poison me with testosterone that alarm bells rang.

I've never felt attracted to women's clothing in a sexual way and still find it quite odd that some people do: it's just clothes. Pretty clothes or practical clothes, flat shoes or heels - I'll choose whatever makes sense to me or fits with the social context ( that's the practical scientist talking of course!). I dress like any student - why wouldn't I?! Too frigging poor for proper nice stuff!

This brings me back to the question I put out and your point about bisexuality. I made a decision two years ago to avoid relationships and sex. I arrived here in a blaze of confusion and over-sexed enthusiasm about then and put it down in a couple of stories. But setting a timetable for ones surgery is a very sobering decision, so it made better sense to me to avoid dating while I had a penis. Relationships are complicated enough, I am studying for a degree and asdfghjkl - too much!

I am a token bisexual - I've never had sex with a woman, but I would if I felt strongly enough about someone. I can't answer if I would use my penis to have sex - I'm still thinking that through!!… answer to follow I'm also trying to untangle my emotions from recent events, which have affected me a great deal. I'm not feeling very good about men generally but that's something I have to work through. Deep down I know they're hot.

I'm glad you are becoming more comfortable about your own gender id and I know too that you won't be blind to those for whom that search is not a comfort, but a torture. You benefit from male privilege so don't ever forget that trans women are caught between rocks and hard places: stuck in a no man's land of being refused male privilege, being denied both equality or even inequality and being treated with sceptical acceptance at best. I know you'll use your privilege well.
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Old 02-07-2014, 10:11 PM   #119
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I'll have to review Blanchard's original articles to be sure, but I recall one of the criticisms being that his subgroups are not in fact well-differentiated, and it may very well simply be a matter of a diversity of individuals that differ significantly only at either extreme. As to the reasons for that diversity, I don't know enough to even begin to speculate. I found the idea of autogynephilia interesting because I felt it described my own situation fairly well - whether it is a 'real' thing rather than simply a collection of characteristics that just happen to apply to some semi-random collection of transgender people (like being right handed) is something of which I'm not convinced.

I made the comment above that, in my case, I have felt, not that I was the 'wrong' sex, but that I would have chosen differently had I had any input in the decision. I realized this long before I became seriously aware of anything resembling trans issues, back when 'sex change' was something boys giggled about in the schoolyard without really understanding anything about it.

I'm quite aware of my male (and white) privilege, and the fact that I present as rather masculine and (presumably) straight. I know that I probably would not have the guts to transition and I cannot help but stand in awe of those who do, while at the same time understanding that they do so almost because they cannot do anything but, so great is their dysphoria. It's for this reason that I am so impressed by people like yourself who do make the transition - in part because of your will to forge ahead with it, but also because you are doing something that I (think I) would also like to do but never will. I've commented to you before that I'm unsure how much my interest in trans people and trans issues is a result of the two reasons I've mentioned above or some form of fetishism, and trying to disentangle these threads is causing me some confusion (though nowhere near the distress anyone who actually goes ahead with transitioning must feel).

---

I assume from your comments that you have had sex with men. Really, it's not all that different with women except that women tend to be a bit softer and more rounded and generally nicer, in my opinion (in general I happen to think that many men are idiots ). If you choose not to be in a relationship with anyone - male or female - because you don't need the distraction from your studies and you have other concerns in your life right now, there's nothing wrong with that. If you're just wondering about women specifically (perhaps because of your issues with men?) then I stand by my previous comment - if you want to and your partner is aware that you have a penis at the moment and isn't going to freak out about it, why not? Whether or not you choose to make use of that part of you is a separate issue and a matter of personal choice. It's not a question of whether or not you 'should', but whether or not you want to.
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Old 02-08-2014, 04:45 AM   #120
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I'm quite aware of my male (and white) privilege, and the fact that I present as rather masculine and (presumably) straight. I know that I probably would not have the guts to transition and I cannot help but stand in awe of those who do, while at the same time understanding that they do so almost because they cannot do anything but, so great is their dysphoria. It's for this reason that I am so impressed by people like yourself who do make the transition - in part because of your will to forge ahead with it, but also because you are doing something that I (think I) would also like to do but never will. I've commented to you before that I'm unsure how much my interest in trans people and trans issues is a result of the two reasons I've mentioned above or some form of fetishism, and trying to disentangle these threads is causing me some confusion (though nowhere near the distress anyone who actually goes ahead with transitioning must feel).
Thanks Haurni
but I'd like to clarify what you've said because the topic comes up quite a bit. I know you and others mean it in a kindly way but actually it's quite erasing, if I have my terminology right.
People, allies included, commend our bravery or see our need as a strength of conviction, but it isn't like that at all. I've compared it before to the actions of people who jump from a burning house, which I don't regard as bravery but desperation. One could describe transitioning as desperation with a soft landing or at least that's what it should be. We have an illness and transitioning is the cure and that's why it's so distressing when trans women are denied that cure. I've heard it described as the only psychological illness that can be cured by surgery. Lives are saved by transitioning.

You mentioned the magic wand earlier: to suddenly become a woman, but then qualified it by saying it would be nice to pop back and be a man now and again. That a bit erasing as well, as is the idea of academics like Blanchard pronouncing that many of the interviewed trans* were transitioning as an act of fetishism. Psychiatric screening today weeds out fetishists and offers them alternatives to radical surgery. But then again, my personal experience is limited to a handful of other trans women I've met, so perhaps the many shemale sex workers performing on Hamster are indeed fetishists?

Do the findings of Blanchard give room for a schism to emerge between 'proper' trans women and fetish trans women? I think that already exists, because shemales often self-administer hormones and have breast enhancement to facilitate working in the sex trade, which has become the go-to image for people who see no further than chicks with dicks.

Should one be critical of shemales for their 'choice' or define them purely in terms of kink? No more than a regular cis-gender sex-worker but all the same, the media has latched onto that and gives a wrongful and harmful impression that all trans women are kink. I wouldn't doubt for a second that those sex-trade trans women suffer for their trans status as much as any boring girl down the road like me.

From what you've described about yourself, you are more kink than ill. You are also a wonderfully empathetic man and I wish your sensitive embrace of the trans world were universally held, because it would make it a safer place for us to exist.
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Old 02-08-2014, 04:53 AM   #121
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Ummm... I don't dismiss those theories out of hand, really. I am sure many trans people feel those motives-- among so many other aspects of gender expression which might each take a larger or smaller role per person.

My life experiences are very similar to yours, haurni.

For example I would say that I could be considered a fetishist. Although I am FTM-- and oh boy what a can of worms that's going to be, when we ping on the radars of BLanchard and that ilk-- my need to be male was partly because I identified as a gay boy, and I wanted to be accepted physically by gay men-- get laid, in other words. For me, my sexual functionality informs my dysphoria and limits the ways that I work on passing (as in, the last thing I want is for a gay man to want to have sex with me thinking that I have a flesh dick and then I have to disappoint him)

Now that I think about it, it's not so much an internalised issue, as a performative one-- and I have completely lost my train of thought.
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Old 02-08-2014, 05:16 AM   #122
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Now that I think about it, it's not so much an internalised issue, as a performative one-- and I have completely lost my train of thought.
I know exactly how that feels \o/

I went off to fix breakfast and had more thoughts about my earlier post. There are plenty of trans women who, for any number of reasons, don't transition. I don't want to sound like a nazi-trans but to make a point about bravery etc then it kinda pushes the perspective that way.
In fact, I'm a lucky person: I have transitioned. If there were awards for courage and bravery then it has to go to people whose life is only just bearable living a cis-gender life and still show up for work, still try to make their way against such awful internal pressure. They're the people we have to look out for and show them that transitioning is not out of the frying pan, into the fire: if only society could be less condemning and more tolerant
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Old 02-08-2014, 12:43 PM   #123
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Originally Posted by stickygirl View Post
but I'd like to clarify what you've said because the topic comes up quite a bit. I know you and others mean it in a kindly way but actually it's quite erasing, if I have my terminology right.
People, allies included, commend our bravery or see our need as a strength of conviction, but it isn't like that at all. I've compared it before to the actions of people who jump from a burning house, which I don't regard as bravery but desperation. One could describe transitioning as desperation with a soft landing or at least that's what it should be. We have an illness and transitioning is the cure and that's why it's so distressing when trans women are denied that cure. I've heard it described as the only psychological illness that can be cured by surgery. Lives are saved by transitioning.
My apologies if I used terminology that was dismissive or erasing, and I thank you for pointing it out to me. I'm still largely ignorant of the reality of trans people and am trying to educate myself, which is part of the reason I'm here.

This is what I was trying to say:

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Originally Posted by haurni View Post
while at the same time understanding that they [transition] almost because they cannot do anything but, so great is their dysphoria
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Originally Posted by stickygirl View Post
They're the people we have to look out for and show them that transitioning is not out of the frying pan, into the fire: if only society could be less condemning and more tolerant
Amen.

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Originally Posted by stickygirl View Post
You mentioned the magic wand earlier: to suddenly become a woman, but then qualified it by saying it would be nice to pop back and be a man now and again. That a bit erasing as well
I didn't mean to imply that I was speaking to your situation (or to that of any other trans person) here at all, only to my own in trying to figure out whether I might be trans, genderqueer, kink or something else.

I also don't want to imply that people transition because of some fetish (nor am I in any way qualified to discuss 'shemales'). Blanchard claimed that some trans* engaged in 'transvestic fetishism' and implied that this was a defining characteristic of trans* - Nuttbrock's work showed that it was not, and I personally think that it's probably just something that some people do during the course of exploring gender roles.

Another issue I raised (in the context of thinking about myself) was that of trans-fetishism (as distinct from Blanchard's claim about transvestic fetishism) - people who are attracted to or fascinated by trans people simply because they are trans, and not because they're people. In case I've been vague, this is something I worry I might be and it causes me distress because I don't want to objectify people, so it affects my own thinking about whether I might have trans leanings.

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Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
For example I would say that I could be considered a fetishist. Although I am FTM-- and oh boy what a can of worms that's going to be, when we ping on the radars of BLanchard and that ilk-- my need to be male was partly because I identified as a gay boy, and I wanted to be accepted physically by gay men-- get laid, in other words. For me, my sexual functionality informs my dysphoria and limits the ways that I work on passing (as in, the last thing I want is for a gay man to want to have sex with me thinking that I have a flesh dick and then I have to disappoint him)
Thank you for your comment, Stella. My question to you would be, if you are a gay man, then doesn't it sort of stand to reason that you would rather have the appropriate equipment so that you can fully express your sexuality in a relationship context?
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Last edited by haurni : 02-08-2014 at 12:46 PM.
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Old 02-08-2014, 02:03 PM   #124
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Which all goes to show that, whilst I'm good with understanding other people's emotions, I'm crap at academic niceties and woefully underqualified to engage in such discussion!
In all honesty, I'm touched by the encouragement you and others give in acknowledging my bravery, but my courage was never needed to make the initial decision to transition. It is needed to get me out of bed in the morning, to face bureaucratic bullshit and open transphobia. Transitioning could and should be much easier and if it were then there would be far fewer suicides and no trans - related murders. In trying to split academic hairs over definitions, one risks alienating the very people whose support is much needed and appreciated.

I understand your concern that an attraction to trans people could be, and often is, regarded as fetish: if you were attracted to redheads or girls with long legs then no one would bat an eyelid. But if you express an attraction for trans women, it comes ready loaded with society's baggage and the obverse is true as well - if a guy hits on me knowing I am trans then I'm very wary.
But why does society see it as a fetish at all? If transexuality were fully accepted by society then the eyelids would remain unbatted. But that is wishing for the moon.
You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. You and other men who honestly find trans women attractive and openly date them, deserve every bit as much admiration for courage. You'll lose friends, offend family, risk violence in public places .... wooo... this sounds spookily familar! So take my purple heart and pin to yourself if you have the courage to risk dating a trans woman: you have a choice

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Originally Posted by haurni View Post
Thank you for your comment, Stella. My question to you would be, if you are a gay man, then doesn't it sort of stand to reason that you would rather have the appropriate equipment so that you can fully express your sexuality in a relationship context?
I'm sure she would and Stella and I may have talked swapsies before I'm O- blood Stella - any good?
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Last edited by stickygirl : 02-08-2014 at 02:20 PM.
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Old 02-08-2014, 07:21 PM   #125
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haurni View Post
My apologies if I used terminology that was dismissive or erasing, and I thank you for pointing it out to me. I'm still largely ignorant of the reality of trans people and am trying to educate myself, which is part of the reason I'm here.

This is what I was trying to say:




Amen.


I didn't mean to imply that I was speaking to your situation (or to that of any other trans person) here at all, only to my own in trying to figure out whether I might be trans, genderqueer, kink or something else.

I also don't want to imply that people transition because of some fetish (nor am I in any way qualified to discuss 'shemales'). Blanchard claimed that some trans* engaged in 'transvestic fetishism' and implied that this was a defining characteristic of trans* - Nuttbrock's work showed that it was not, and I personally think that it's probably just something that some people do during the course of exploring gender roles.

Another issue I raised (in the context of thinking about myself) was that of trans-fetishism (as distinct from Blanchard's claim about transvestic fetishism) - people who are attracted to or fascinated by trans people simply because they are trans, and not because they're people. In case I've been vague, this is something I worry I might be and it causes me distress because I don't want to objectify people, so it affects my own thinking about whether I might have trans leanings.



Thank you for your comment, Stella. My question to you would be, if you are a gay man, then doesn't it sort of stand to reason that you would rather have the appropriate equipment so that you can fully express your sexuality in a relationship context?
yeah, it sort of does.
That seems to be an insurmountable obstacle, to me at least. Gay men are at this time, very defensive and also entitled within their own society. Monosexuals are very much mono. No pussy! Back in the seventies when I was just beginning this voyage, I was more easily able to connect with gay men who could make that leap. But that changed in ohhh.. maybe 74.

Which is why MY solution-- speaking only for myself-- has been to rearrange my orientation. It was not easy to do, don't think for one moment that I think it's feasible for most trans folk, or even most any folk. Being innately bisexual, of course, that helped.

But dammmit, i do not want to hijack this thread!
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Last edited by Stella_Omega : 02-08-2014 at 10:09 PM.
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