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Old 02-20-2014, 05:03 AM   #126
greenmountaineer
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Thanks, Ashesh9, for your comment on "Love Poem I." It's gratifying when a reader's comments match the poet's intent, which is what yours did.
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Old 02-23-2014, 11:47 AM   #127
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Thank you Harry for your comment and recommend on my two recent poems!
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Old 02-24-2014, 05:31 AM   #128
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Thank you Tess for your comments and NPR recommendation for "Brighton Beach." Thanks to Ash too.
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Old 02-27-2014, 03:55 PM   #129
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my thanks to oldbear, harry, gm, tess and ash for your assorted (and helpful) comments on the bunch of new stuff i subbed - on the shedding of skin, on the lacking of discipline, ripe, and He
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
HarryHill


'tender hearted...
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Old 02-27-2014, 07:55 PM   #130
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Thanks Everyone

It has been too long. I let writing slip away. It's coming back and feels real good.

Thank you greenmountaineer and Harry for the lovely comments and recommending my poem.

Tris, Maria ~ SO nice to see you.

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Old 02-28-2014, 02:42 PM   #131
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many thanks to Syndra, maria and magnetron for their reads/comments on my latest subs (as well as older writes). glad you liked them or pointed out how you interpreted them - i appreciate you taking the time
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
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'tender hearted...

Last edited by butters : 02-28-2014 at 03:04 PM.
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Old 03-03-2014, 09:40 PM   #132
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oought oh,
hightails it outta here
and I get the overwhelming feeling of alone again
but congrats and maybe I was wrong. (i have icicles on my neurons, butters)
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Old 03-04-2014, 01:33 AM   #133
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Quote:
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oought oh,
hightails it outta here
and I get the overwhelming feeling of alone again
but congrats and maybe I was wrong. (i have icicles on my neurons, butters)
There's a thaw coming, Fuck Daddy, alone never, wrong, maybe but I'd never know
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"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
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Old 03-04-2014, 01:01 PM   #134
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There's a thaw coming, Fuck Daddy, alone never, wrong, maybe but I'd never know
waa lah. left 3 today, either innocuous or favorable and on people that are not subject to blowbackism
now if I can only remember the spot doggerel I thought of. It was bad.
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Old 03-04-2014, 01:34 PM   #135
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waa lah. left 3 today, either innocuous or favorable and on people that are not subject to blowbackism
now if I can only remember the spot doggerel I thought of. It was bad.
All spot on imo but you have not left a comment on \this and I would really be interested in your thoughts, please sir.
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"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
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Old 03-04-2014, 01:50 PM   #136
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All spot on imo but you have not left a comment on \this and I would really be interested in your thoughts, please sir.
oh that one is easy
unrulio is butters pet name for me
it looks like she is vaguely disgusted by me sending her love letters
or
it is a cocaine party I missed

Christ, Harry, I'm still wading through the images generated by prawn
butters is a difficult writer, I am not that thawed out yet.
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Old 03-04-2014, 02:02 PM   #137
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BTW, Harry, WTF in caps means this right now, is a little beyond me
wtf in small case, is not good.
Just so you know my short hand

For GM
Desire is the route of unhappiness

Desire to write is the route with potholes

winks
for the Brits - route and root are pronounced the same in Slurvia, not as a hastened military retreat
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Old 03-04-2014, 02:37 PM   #138
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oh that one is easy
unrulio is butters pet name for me
it looks like she is vaguely disgusted by me sending her love letters
or
it is a cocaine party I missed

Christ, Harry, I'm still wading through the images generated by prawn
butters is a difficult writer, I am not that thawed out yet.

unrulio!'s about right


i didn't know i was a difficult writer. now you, you make me see things even you don't intend half the time, so i get stuff wrong because of what i'm bringing to the party.

harry played a game of chess, i ran with pawns/prawns... and took liberties with the flower
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
HarryHill


'tender hearted...
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Old 03-04-2014, 03:08 PM   #139
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unrulio!'s about right


i didn't know i was a difficult writer. now you, you make me see things even you don't intend half the time, so i get stuff wrong because of what i'm bringing to the party.

harry played a game of chess, i ran with pawns/prawns... and took liberties with the flower
no damn you, difficult is a good thing! If I knew what it was at first reading, would it be poetry? your works hints at look a bit further, the there is something more...
prawn rocks!
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Old 03-04-2014, 03:12 PM   #140
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thanks magnetron, tess, harry, twelve, gm and UYS and maria for your feedback over on 'nature study', 'the prawn with a rose in his rifle', and 'on the shedding of skin'.

yes, magnetron, i am very speshul

twelve - right or wrong, it was what it was for you and thanks for letting me know because it helped me think further about my choices.

twelve and maria - i'll take the W.E thing as a big compliment, thankyou.

thanks, tess, for teh recommend on nature study, and harry for your continued support.
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
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'tender hearted...
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Old 03-04-2014, 03:17 PM   #141
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no damn you, difficult is a good thing! If I knew what it was at first reading, would it be poetry? your works hints at look a bit further, the there is something more...
prawn rocks!
damn me all to helllllllllllllllllll - i've seen that movie, Guido

happy prawn! (still wearing his coolest grey - his daily uniform)


they keep the bodies on ice
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
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'tender hearted...

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Old 03-05-2014, 08:14 PM   #142
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unrulio!'s about right


i didn't know i was a difficult writer. now you, you make me see things even you don't intend half the time, so i get stuff wrong because of what i'm bringing to the party.

harry played a game of chess, i ran with pawns/prawns... and took liberties with the flower
Oh, BTW, lovely, I saw it when I read it, and BTW I saw so much more. Only thing missing? was Johnny Depp and I'm not sure he wasn't in it, because the rest of the cast was - in 3D. Poetry as an associative process, did I say that once before?
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Old 03-06-2014, 10:59 AM   #143
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What a fuckin pain in the ass, I must be, eh Magnetron? Right or wrong, I tell you what I see. Right or wrong, and I am wrong about 50% of the time due to the complexities of poetry, now translate the 50% into a batting average .500, would make me the MVP of all time, wouldn't it?
Now all you comment no-shows, serial submitters, which is rarer, someone that thinks about what you wrote, (sometimes more than you did writing it)...
Think, comment, it is for your own benefit. Your next poem, may be just a little bit better.
la, la, la
off to hell
you can tell
by the smell
of sulfur
in the air
brick and brack
it all comes back
do you think
I care?

Obviously I do, I just get inspired to write doggerel.

Horror here
horror there

I'm just glad Dr. Seuss never attempted Heart of Darkness.
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Old 03-06-2014, 11:49 AM   #144
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Thank you to Angeline, 1201, Harry, Magnetron, butters and Ash for comments on A Cautionary Tale. Also to Angeline and Magnetron on Withheld Desires ........ all much appreciated
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Old 03-08-2014, 06:50 AM   #145
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A belated thanks to 1201, butters, and Ashesh for having commented on "Boddhisattva" and to 1201 and Ashesh for "Disfigurement."
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Old 03-10-2014, 02:45 PM   #146
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cheers, pelegrino, for visiting cold fire: strange flames - and for letting me know how it affected you!
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What strange machinery lies between her ears
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Old 03-10-2014, 07:08 PM   #147
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Thank you to Pelegrino and Cleardaynow for kind comments on "Horatio, Abridged"

Pelegrino, it is the Horatio of "Hamlet". The title stems from an English love of puns, and i am sorry if it confused I'm rather fond of the secondary characters in "Hamlet", as perhaps "A Mother's Letter to her Son" shows

Cleardaynow, I wasn't sure what you meant about the last few lines. Horatio feels himself a relic preserved in aspic ("If it don't gel, it ain't aspic"--Humphrey Bogart in "The Big Sleep"), and felicity is a reference to Hamlet's dying words to Horatio, (Act V, Sc 2)
"If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart
absent thee from felicity awhile,
and in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain,
to tell my story."

Which kind of sums up the poem

I've been going through several kinds of hell, so it is nice to have the chance to talk poetry again. Thank you.
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Old 03-10-2014, 07:23 PM   #148
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Thank you to Pelegrino and Cleardaynow for kind comments on "Horatio, Abridged"

Pelegrino, it is the Horatio of "Hamlet". The title stems from an English love of puns, and i am sorry if it confused I'm rather fond of the secondary characters in "Hamlet", as perhaps "A Mother's Letter to her Son" shows

Cleardaynow, I wasn't sure what you meant about the last few lines. Horatio feels himself a relic preserved in aspic ("If it don't gel, it ain't aspic"--Humphrey Bogart in "The Big Sleep"), and felicity is a reference to Hamlet's dying words to Horatio, (Act V, Sc 2)
"If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart
absent thee from felicity awhile,
and in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain,
to tell my story."

Which kind of sums up the poem

I've been going through several kinds of hell, so it is nice to have the chance to talk poetry again. Thank you.
Damn all those years I thought bogie was making an ethnic slur.
I'll have to go read this sucka.
Sorry about the hells, I've been barely able to get though mine.
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Old 03-10-2014, 07:27 PM   #149
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Damn all those years I thought bogie was making an ethnic slur.
I'll have to go read this sucka.
Sorry about the hells, I've been barely able to get though mine.
Oh LMAO Thank you dear 1201.

We have to laugh sometimes don't we?
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Old 03-10-2014, 08:13 PM   #150
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Oh LMAO Thank you dear 1201.

We have to laugh sometimes don't we?
I hope so, I went in a total direction with FelicityI brought your name up in regards to line endings. Denice Levertov had also used a double unstressed end of line. Tzara had posted a link on what she had to say on cadence. I forget the thread.
here:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthre...=996591&page=2

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