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Old 12-08-2013, 09:39 AM   #26
HarryHill
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
anon is a sheet head from the Invisible Simpyre, - take that back, they probably don't know who Mandela was.
You're right, it was the undead Maggie, who was last seen buzzing around in a grim remake of the Wizard of Oz.
Think I saw that movie 'The Lizard of Odds'
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Old 12-08-2013, 09:44 AM   #27
butters
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HarryHill View Post
Think I saw that movie 'The Lizard of Odds'
*smiles over coffee cup's rim*
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William Dement (the father of sleep medicine) said:
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."

must be what permits me to be so very sane when awake,
right?
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Old 12-08-2013, 12:06 PM   #28
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and on a sadder note
LV MF
is back also, the one who claims he doesn't know poetry, yet seems to be a little smart assed from time to time. this time even naming a poet in a comment.
bring the fucking thermometer back
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Old 12-08-2013, 06:32 PM   #29
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I think the best way I can acknowledge a thank you for commenting on "Final Hearing" is by pasting my subsequent comment:

"When you're right you're right, 1201. The simile is, in fact, a cliché which I don't think I would have thought much more about without your comment. On my hard drive, the edited lines of 7 & 8 read

on a bed where sperm once might have tasted
better than what she gets from Jim Beam.

butters, I always like your detailed perspective as well. Thanks."

Last edited by greenmountaineer : 12-08-2013 at 06:34 PM.
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Old 12-08-2013, 08:25 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmountaineer View Post
I think the best way I can acknowledge a thank you for commenting on "Final Hearing" is by pasting my subsequent comment:

"When you're right you're right, 1201. The simile is, in fact, a cliché which I don't think I would have thought much more about without your comment. On my hard drive, the edited lines of 7 & 8 read

on a bed where sperm once might have tasted
better than what she gets from Jim Beam.

butters, I always like your detailed perspective as well. Thanks."
With all due respect, I would leave it, it unlocks "on the rocks", I know you and I have a difference of opinion over degrees of wrongness. In this case I was most amazed more about how you did not use "on the rocks". Technically, (in level three) both you and Demure have used "bad form" for the betterment of the poem, Demure's case it makes the poem. Oblivious cleverness can kill, this was "holy shit, I can't believe he did that" cleverness. Context is king.
You are the writer, it is your call.
Besides I'm wrong about half the time anyway, I can only see what I see.
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Old 12-12-2013, 08:31 AM   #31
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Thanks everyone for commenting on my poem Desecration. I actually posted it for storage, not thinking anyone would comment on it.

However, since Istat and Ahesh raise a point, the poem is about the world weary, I think a lot of my poems are. I think I realised that when Tzara commented on my poem Turning The Other Cheek, mentioning it being a bit world weary. I suppose nowadays I'm more of a go with the flow, it's pointless fighting it, no one is listening, no one cares, we're all racing for the cliff. The lady in the poem actually exists and gave me a feeling that I just wanted to tell her, just live a little, love a little, stop trying to preserve youself in aspic, stop looking for gratitude that you lower yourself to have sex me. Sometimes a nice body is not enough, even if its just for a weekend in Paris. This lady was not half as much fun as the lady attached, who I never had sex with but had several days drawing in my studio. (I wrote the poem A Model Pose about her)At least she lived life. Maybe I am the problem, I probably am. I'm not the easiest person to be with when someone overstays their welcome and is stopping me from working.

Sheesh. I ought to be a promoter. I managed to discuss three poems in that paragraph!
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Old 12-14-2013, 08:25 AM   #32
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My thanks to todski, Neo, and Ashesh for taking the time to comment on "For the Stain She Left on his Pants"
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Old 12-14-2013, 04:31 PM   #33
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"For the Stain She Left on his Pants"

to greenmountaineer

you spent a lifetime working with criminals, I spent a lifetime living with them lol.

this piece and dark linoleum the re work you did in the 2013 poem a week thread are two instances where you use a colour to actively engage the reader, shaping the context of the poem in darkness, it seems an awesome ploy if used *effectively*

I noticed Butters did the same type of thing in her untitled piece asking "

what's this? this dim strange mood"

dim, purple, dark all add a context for me as a reader.
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Old 12-14-2013, 10:39 PM   #34
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Thank you to Ashesh, Maria, Oldbear and Todski for comments on Tongue aided titillations ........ much appreciated
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 12-15-2013, 07:04 AM   #35
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thanks, with appreciation for all the comments received on decompression, no title, slipp'd and thinking allowed.
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William Dement (the father of sleep medicine) said:
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."

must be what permits me to be so very sane when awake,
right?
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Old 12-15-2013, 08:14 AM   #36
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Tod posted a linked poem, well done.
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Old 12-15-2013, 04:27 PM   #37
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Thank you to Oldbear63 for the kind comment on "Heff in Epping"

And my two favourite ladies liked it too--Angeline and Maria2394 My best regards to you both and thank you

But did you guess who Heff might be?
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Old 12-15-2013, 04:29 PM   #38
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Oh, btw, Maria2394, what else is a male poet but a naughty boy x
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Old 12-16-2013, 12:01 AM   #39
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Thanx to Ange , Tod , Tazz & Oldbear for commenting on " Miserable is a home ...."
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Old 12-16-2013, 06:46 PM   #40
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Thank you to Ashesh9 for the kind comment on "Heff in Epping", but no it has nothing to do with Gatsby--it is a much older, far greater story
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:26 AM   #41
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a few suggestions, a few hellos, a few leaves some comments asshole
what did you do today?
oh?
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:50 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
a few suggestions, a few hellos, a few leaves some comments asshole
what did you do today?
oh?
1. Always turn your thermostat down before going to bed.
Don't eat the brown acid.
Have a nice day.
2. Hello 12, Neo, Angeline, Annie, Darkmas, Todski, Tzara, Desejo, butters, A9.
OldBear, Susansnow, Erectus, Tazz.
3. Oak, Bradford Pear, Hickory, Cherry, Fig.
4. The PoBo is really cooking guys, every day is an adventure, want All of you
know how much I am enjoying reading your new stuff.
5. Nothing much so far.
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Old 12-17-2013, 02:29 PM   #43
fridayam
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A warm thank you to my old friend twelveone for his comment on "Heff in Epping", but I must correct him: The whole piece is speech, so why put inverted commas around "fuck me"

If my poem can be opaque to even such bright minds as have commented, then I must be at fault for burying the imagery too deeply, though I am not prepared to give up the game just yet

Ask yourself who else was a superb mechanic, limped and was ugly and yet was married to and cuckolded by the most beautiful woman

Btw, I have spent all day trying to get someone to come and fix my heating which has packed up on a bleak, drear day, without success
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Old 12-17-2013, 03:38 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by fridayam View Post
A warm thank you to my old friend twelveone for his comment on "Heff in Epping", but I must correct him: The whole piece is speech, so why put inverted commas around "fuck me"

If my poem can be opaque to even such bright minds as have commented, then I must be at fault for burying the imagery too deeply, though I am not prepared to give up the game just yet

Ask yourself who else was a superb mechanic, limped and was ugly and yet was married to and cuckolded by the most beautiful woman

Btw, I have spent all day trying to get someone to come and fix my heating which has packed up on a bleak, drear day, without success
no dammit. regular commas. 'cause you're English, or am I being stereotypical again.

Richard the Third?

The only Heff I can think of was Hugh. He did a lot of humping. Are you going to make me look like an idiot again?
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Old 12-17-2013, 04:14 PM   #45
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Yes, you are being stereotypical Good job I didn't go with my first instincts and set it in the north-east of England where it would have been "Fook me"

You need to go a long way further back in time, and Heff is the first syllable of his name, as why should he hide that much?
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Old 12-17-2013, 04:25 PM   #46
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oh fook me, who put the eff in effinham. now I understand.
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Old 12-17-2013, 04:29 PM   #47
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OK, spill
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Old 12-17-2013, 04:37 PM   #48
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OK, spill
caught me again, damn you. me a merigan.
Well it wasn't Robert Fripp.
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Old 12-17-2013, 04:45 PM   #49
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Oh I am a Robert Fripp fan but don't don't change the subject
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Old 12-17-2013, 06:25 PM   #50
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Thanks to butters, Desejo, and of all ppl Tazz for breaking into my vault today and commenting.
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