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Doing The D/s Thing Occasionally

Trinique_Fire

Trinique_Fire

Daddi's Princess
Joined
Dec 15, 2004
Posts
10,550
Subbing is not a constant thing in my life anymore. I live vicariously through the characters I write, and occasionally I'll sub to my wife in the bedroom, which is a pretty new thing to her, although I must say she took to her Domme role like a fish to water.

Anyone else a part timer?
 
I am currently a "part-timer." More of an opportunist, really. Having small children, school, and multiple jobs, I am left with little time for much else. I get out to the dungeon for some play with special people sometimes, but there is no room in my life for full-time power exchange right now. Or, rather, I am unwilling to give it my undivided attention. It could be that it'll remain so even after I get a life again, unless I cross paths with someone awesome. You never know.
 
Trinique_Fire said:
Subbing is not a constant thing in my life anymore. I live vicariously through the characters I write, and occasionally I'll sub to my wife in the bedroom, which is a pretty new thing to her, although I must say she took to her Domme role like a fish to water.

Anyone else a part timer?
Click to expand...
No, but I love the idea of it.
 
Trinique_Fire said:
Subbing is not a constant thing in my life anymore. I live vicariously through the characters I write, and occasionally I'll sub to my wife in the bedroom, which is a pretty new thing to her, although I must say she took to her Domme role like a fish to water.

Anyone else a part timer?
Click to expand...

Like a fish to water...?
Do tell
 
All I do is part-time. For me, it's purely a sex-related thing and I have absolutely no desire to live the dynamic.
 
Myself and my PYL are part-timer's in the sense that we have a family, household to run, jobs etc. Life gets in the way. We do often brings BDSM into every day life by looks, gestures, whispers, notes etc. But mostly we have to grab playtime when we can. :)
 
I guess part time? >.>;;

We both work and are pretty busy most days. We do have some aspects throughout that seem very D/s. He leads when we're out together. There are other things, I can' t seem to think of them. (U_U) I seem to be running low on energy, lately.
 
I suppose I know already that even with a partner, it will only ever be in the bedroom for me. Maybe it'll cross over occassionally like Oubliette said, but there isn't the time for it to be anything more. It wouldn't be appropriate for work anyway.

When I could be called for CPR at any minute, thinking about anybody else is just not going to happen. Can you imagine?! In the bathroom having a quickie and the bleep goes off 'Oh sorry, Sir, please may I be excused to go an save a patient?'
 
It's part-time all around for us, in and out of bed. We're also LDR and don't do much in the way of long-distance D/s.

I can't really imagine doing a whole lot more than we already do. In my work life I don't really answer to a boss, I answer to myself. I'm a self-employed creative which necessitates a pretty high level of loyalty to yourself and your own priorities. I can't imagine how annoyed I'd be if I were deep in a project and he interrupts me for a blowjob/to make him a drink/to go get him chips from the store. Not to mention that even the smallest interruptions like that completely kill productivity when you're in the moment, and that there's just no such thing as not working.

So the D/s happens not when it's at my convenience, per se? But rather when it's most convenient for what I do.
 
sophie_l said:
When I could be called for CPR at any minute, thinking about anybody else is just not going to happen. Can you imagine?! In the bathroom having a quickie and the bleep goes off 'Oh sorry, Sir, please may I be excused to go an save a patient?'
Click to expand...

Lame excuses.

You could work on your oral "2-minutes-till-he-cums" skill. Hell, I would set up an alarm clock at home in the bedroom and train with you cock sucking under pressure.

Where there's a will, there's a way.


(And yes, I've worked as ambulance driver and EMT myself.)
 
Most kinky people I've met don't have a 24/7 dynamic, actually. Either it's just a sex thing or it's something they schedule time to do.

Like most people, I work for a living and have other interests, and I don't have the time or money to structure the elaborate 24/7 slavery that some submissives fantasise about. And honestly, I wouldn't want to.

I'm much happier being in ordinary, everyday relationships where it just works out that power is part of the flirting dynamic and the sex is more about dominance than penetration. And like any other relationship between people with grownup lives, the sex -- kinky or not -- often does need to be scheduled, and play sessions often need to be planned. I don't micromanage every aspect of my partners' lives, either.
 
I consider my relationship 24/7 even though we live 150 miles away from each other. He could if he wanted to text or call me anytime of the day and order me to do whatever he wanted and I would obey. However, he wants me to be able to concentrate on my job, and to not put me in a difficult situation in front of my children. We both have job and family obligation.

But that doesn't make the D/s part-time. The power exchange is always he is in change, I am submissive. The mindset is 24/7. There are tiny decisions I make throughout the day based on what I know he expects of me. The S&M part is more part-time. And because of our lives and distance not as often as I would like.
 
Primalex said:
Lame excuses.

You could work on your oral "2-minutes-till-he-cums" skill. Hell, I would set up an alarm clock at home in the bedroom and train with you cock sucking under pressure.

Where there's a will, there's a way.


(And yes, I've worked as ambulance driver and EMT myself.)
Click to expand...

Excuse me if I don't want to end up at a fitness to practice hearing because I was too busy sucking cock to save my patient.

Maybe I just don't have the will to put any guy before the wellbeing of my patients, but thats the way it is. First and foremost, I'm afraid I'll be serving the people under my care, no dominant is ever going to take that from me. So in this case, I don't have the will to find a way.
 
sophie_l said:
Excuse me if I don't want to end up at a fitness to practice hearing because I was too busy sucking cock to save my patient.

Maybe I just don't have the will to put any guy before the wellbeing of my patients, but thats the way it is. First and foremost, I'm afraid I'll be serving the people under my care, no dominant is ever going to take that from me. So in this case, I don't have the will to find a way.
Click to expand...

Don't worry about him, he thinks he's everybody's dom around here.

Sorta like the chihuahua that thinks its a rottweiler at the dog park. :rolleyes:
 
24/7 makes a great fantasy when I'm in the right mood, but inevitably I get into a different mood in a matter of minutes or hours. When I'm not in the mood, I have no interest in telling my partners what to do, and any attempts on their part to exert dominance over me are met with indifference, annoyance, or ridicule.
 
sophie_l said:
Excuse me if I don't want to end up at a fitness to practice hearing because I was too busy sucking cock to save my patient.
Click to expand...


You suck cock louder than your beeper? Damn impressive.


Oh wait, you are a fucking student, not Dr. House. Nobody is going to put the life of people into _your_ hands. If someone calls your beeper, then to ask you where you put the lab test results.
 
ecstaticsub said:
I consider my relationship 24/7 even though we live 150 miles away from each other. He could if he wanted to text or call me anytime of the day and order me to do whatever he wanted and I would obey. However, he wants me to be able to concentrate on my job, and to not put me in a difficult situation in front of my children. We both have job and family obligation.

But that doesn't make the D/s part-time. The power exchange is always he is in change, I am submissive. The mindset is 24/7. There are tiny decisions I make throughout the day based on what I know he expects of me. The S&M part is more part-time. And because of our lives and distance not as often as I would like.
Click to expand...

Much like being married 24/7 or being a parent 24/7 and still having a job and other obligations.
 
Primalex said:
You suck cock louder than your beeper? Damn impressive.


Oh wait, you are a fucking student, not Dr. House. Nobody is going to put the life of people into _your_ hands. If someone calls your beeper, then to ask you where you put the lab test results.
Click to expand...

Ever heard of planning for the future? I'm not about to get into a fulltime relationship like that with the plan that its going to end one Wednesday in August in a couple of years time.

Yeah I could do it now. I could skive lectures to go and be with my guy (and have done!) but I quickly learnt that was a terrible idea after nearly having a breakdown during exams last year.

SO maybe the 'saving lives' thing was slightly for dramatic effect (although a valid point) but there are plenty of other occasions when it would be inappropriate. In the dissecting room we are not allowed to get our phones out. I'm in there at least two hours a week. I do a lot of volunteering. I have other responsibilities!
 
sophie_l said:
Ever heard of planning for the future? I'm not about to get into a fulltime relationship like that with the plan that its going to end one Wednesday in August in a couple of years time.

Yeah I could do it now. I could skive lectures to go and be with my guy (and have done!) but I quickly learnt that was a terrible idea after nearly having a breakdown during exams last year.

SO maybe the 'saving lives' thing was slightly for dramatic effect (although a valid point) but there are plenty of other occasions when it would be inappropriate. In the dissecting room we are not allowed to get our phones out. I'm in there at least two hours a week. I do a lot of volunteering. I have other responsibilities!
Click to expand...

Nonsense! Your only responsibility should be to your Dom; otherwise you're not a REAL SUBZORS :rolleyes:
 
sophie_l said:
Ever heard of planning for the future? I'm not about to get into a fulltime relationship like that with the plan that its going to end one Wednesday in August in a couple of years time.

Yeah I could do it now. I could skive lectures to go and be with my guy (and have done!) but I quickly learnt that was a terrible idea after nearly having a breakdown during exams last year.

SO maybe the 'saving lives' thing was slightly for dramatic effect (although a valid point) but there are plenty of other occasions when it would be inappropriate. In the dissecting room we are not allowed to get our phones out. I'm in there at least two hours a week. I do a lot of volunteering. I have other responsibilities!
Click to expand...

Why do you feel your Dom would not respect your need to put your job first?

I think you are perpetuating the misconception as much as you feel others are.

If you really want to make it work then find someone who will respect that your job will come first and that's a hard limit for you.
 
ecstaticsub said:
I consider my relationship 24/7 even though we live 150 miles away from each other. He could if he wanted to text or call me anytime of the day and order me to do whatever he wanted and I would obey. However, he wants me to be able to concentrate on my job, and to not put me in a difficult situation in front of my children. We both have job and family obligation.

But that doesn't make the D/s part-time. The power exchange is always he is in change, I am submissive. The mindset is 24/7. There are tiny decisions I make throughout the day based on what I know he expects of me. The S&M part is more part-time. And because of our lives and distance not as often as I would like.
Click to expand...

Daddy2mylilgirl said:
Why do you feel your Dom would not respect your need to put your job first?

I think you are perpetuating the misconception as much as you feel others are.

If you really want to make it work then find someone who will respect that your job will come first and that's a hard limit for you.
Click to expand...

I think I might have started a bit of a misunderstanding here. I was aiming to echo the thoughts of ecstatic sub above.

I have very little time for a sex life, and while the dynamic would be 24/7, when I can realistically only participate for 3/4 hours of that day, I would call it a part time thing.
 
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