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Old 07-10-2015, 12:04 PM   #1
daedricprince999
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TS/TG Ladies

So what do you prefer? Shemale, Transexual or Transgender?
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Old 07-10-2015, 06:56 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by daedricprince999 View Post
So what do you prefer? Shemale, Transexual or Transgender?
GLAAD's media reference has some info about these and other terms: http://www.glaad.org/reference/transgender

In general "transgender" is your best option of those three. [edit: as an adjective that is - e.g. "she is a transgender woman", "they are a transgender person", not "he is a transgender".] Never call a trans woman "shemale" unless she's explicitly told you that it's okay; it's at a similar level to calling a black person the N-word.
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Old 07-11-2015, 05:51 AM   #3
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My personal feeling is that "shemale" is categorically offensive and a slur. I think that people saying they are "recapturing" the word are delusional.

"Transsexual" is an older term that was popular in the 70's and 80's. In my mind it's largely associated with that older generation, and is eschewed by the younger generation and advocates. Gender identity is more than sex.

I prefer the adjective "transgender", and I identify as a transgender woman. I also use the shorthand "trans woman". I am pretty sure my nomenclature preference reflects the mainstream consensus.
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Old 07-11-2015, 10:50 AM   #4
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My husband says transgender. I never gave the label much thought. Shemale sounds offensive.
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Old 07-11-2015, 11:48 AM   #5
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i agree transgender is probably the safest bet if you don't know. 99% of the time, shemale refers more to a porn category than an actual person.

if this would be in reference to someone you know you could ask them what they prefer. (and if they prefer they/them or she/her).
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Old 07-11-2015, 12:45 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanessaTG View Post
My personal feeling is that "shemale" is categorically offensive and a slur.
TY

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Originally Posted by VanessaTG View Post
I prefer the adjective "transgender", and I identify as a transgender woman. I also use the shorthand "trans woman". I am pretty sure my nomenclature preference reflects the mainstream consensus.
^^^ it does and yes, it's an adjective, not a verb, so someone isn't transgendered.

BTW Hi, everyone - nice to have some trans company at last!!
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Old 07-11-2015, 01:49 PM   #7
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You might be interested in this: Things not to say to a trans person - courtesy of BBC

The girl in the blue hoodie (first one on screen) is apparently relatively well know as both a journalist and a trans activist. She says on screen "If you want to know, just ask politely." It's about 7 minutes into the piece. I had to do a web-search, she's really cute

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Old 07-11-2015, 03:15 PM   #8
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You might be interested in this: Things not to say to a trans person - courtesy of BBC

The girl in the blue hoodie (first one on screen) is apparently relatively well know as both a journalist and a trans activist. She says on screen "If you want to know, just ask politely." It's about 7 minutes into the piece. I had to do a web-search, she's really cute
HA - I bet that's Paris Lees! She's awesome. Lov her to bits

Let me check....

Yup - good vid too
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Old 07-14-2015, 08:39 AM   #9
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Aha! I see now how you homed in so accurately on my vague description, you've got that vid on your tumblr thread, you had me thinking you were psychic

I love that part of the vid where she's answering the statement "I can tell you used to be a man" and replies "No you can't..." I can see why you said 'love her to bits'.
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Old 07-14-2015, 08:50 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by daedricprince999 View Post
So what do you prefer? Shemale, Transexual or Transgender?
Ha, silly me, I thought this was a question for guys asking which he preferred to date, in which case I was going to say who cares as long as they are nice.
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Old 07-14-2015, 09:56 AM   #11
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Ha, silly me, I thought this was a question for guys asking which he preferred to date, in which case I was going to say who cares as long as they are nice.
I suspect it was, but it doesn't hurt to educate people about correct usage of terms. For example, one wouldn't (I hope) come on to this site and mention an attraction to black people by using the N-word.

The OP also implies that the three words refer to distinct groups of people, which is not really the case AFAIK. It's mostly just a difference in terminology (and offensiveness).
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Old 07-14-2015, 10:12 AM   #12
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I thought the OP was asking people what umbrella term they preferred.
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Old 07-14-2015, 10:18 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Messier82 View Post
I thought the OP was asking people what umbrella term they preferred.
Ah, that could be, as well. I didn't catch that.

The exact definitions of the terms themselves aren't agreed upon by everybody, but I think this pretty much captures the distinctions, at least as I understand them. In this hierarchy, 'shemale' is a subset of 'transsexual' which is in turn a subset of 'transgender'. As others have pointed out, 'transsexual' is not often used any more and 'shemale' is considered offensive. The pre-op/post-op/non-op distinction is also pretty much nobody's business but that of the individual themselves, unless they choose to make it your business.
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Old 07-14-2015, 11:20 AM   #14
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^^^ *hugs*
Gotta hug great allies xxxx
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Old 07-15-2015, 03:59 AM   #15
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So what do you prefer? Shemale, Transexual or Transgender?
Madam.
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Old 07-15-2015, 06:22 AM   #16
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I thought the OP was asking people what umbrella term they preferred.
I read it that way, but it's entirely possible that 4yourpleasureiam's reading is correct.

Either way, hopefully the OP learned something useful from the answers they did get :-)
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Old 07-15-2015, 06:28 AM   #17
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OP doesn't seem too fussed about engaging with their own thread. Ho hum...
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Old 07-15-2015, 11:37 AM   #18
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Either way, hopefully the OP learned something useful from the answers they did get :-)
Yes, and I hope they didn't take it as a personal criticism.

EDIT: I've been reading the TS/TG forums on crossdressers.com. There they routinely use TG in the 'umbrella' sense of anyone who's gender variant, and TS for anyone who identifies as the (binary, i.e. M/F) gender they were not assigned at birth. Just goes to show that language is not uniform.
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Old 07-15-2015, 11:54 AM   #19
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Madam.
Damn right ... though I've heard you prefer other terms in certain situations

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Originally Posted by Messier82 View Post
OP doesn't seem too fussed about engaging with their own thread. Ho hum...
Happens quite a lot on Lit: people make 3 posts, never to return

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Originally Posted by haurni View Post
Yes, and I hope they didn't take it as a personal criticism.

EDIT: I've been reading the TS/TG forums on crossdressers.com. There they routinely use TG in the 'umbrella' sense of anyone who's gender variant, and TS for anyone who identifies as the (binary, i.e. M/F) gender they were not assigned at birth. Just goes to show that language is not uniform.
There's a crossdressers.com?! Who'd thought it?
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Old 07-15-2015, 03:56 PM   #20
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Damn right ... though I've heard you prefer other terms in certain situations



Happens quite a lot on Lit: people make 3 posts, never to return



There's a crossdressers.com?! Who'd thought it?
lol so true honey ,you know me so well xxxxx
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Old 07-15-2015, 04:24 PM   #21
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EDIT: I've been reading the TS/TG forums on crossdressers.com. There they routinely use TG in the 'umbrella' sense of anyone who's gender variant, and TS for anyone who identifies as the (binary, i.e. M/F) gender they were not assigned at birth. Just goes to show that language is not uniform.
I am pretty sure that the crossdressers.com forum isn't as representative a sample of "the community" for purposes of terminology.

I think if you asked a dozen people who identified as trans what the difference between "transgender" and "transsexual", you'd get a lot of different answers. My own feeling is that the people who are most insistent on the difference between "transsexual' and other terms are the ones who have bought into the Harry Benjamin (BULLSHIT) syndrome and characterizations. Those theories include, among other things, that a "true" transsexual is someone with intense body dysphoria and attraction to men, and that anyone else is merely someone with transvestistic fetishism; and, oh, by the way, there's really no room in that worldview for trans guys or nonbinary people but I digress. Those theories are soundly rejected today but some people still cling to the old terminology.

Bottom line, I would be offended (also) if you called me a transsexual, and in a polite context, I would explain to you why I thought the term was outdated and inappropriate.
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Old 07-15-2015, 04:37 PM   #22
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Is T-Girl acceptable shorthand slang, or would that be offensive?

Oh, and hi Sticky!

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Old 07-15-2015, 05:03 PM   #23
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Is T-Girl acceptable shorthand slang, or would that be offensive?

Oh, and hi Sticky!
T-girl? Hmmm... not really and I'm not sure how you'd slip into normal conversation anyhow, because most people would reply "What?" and force you into a long explanation. I think the general population, courtesy of Caitlyn Jenner, most recently but OITNB too, would recognise transgender, which is the term ^^^ we trans women suggest you use

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Old 07-15-2015, 05:11 PM   #24
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T-girl? Hmmm... not really and I'm not sure how you'd slip into normal conversation anyhow, because most people would reply "What?" and force you into a long explanation. I think the general population, courtesy of Caitlyn Jenner, most recently but OITNB too, would recognise transgender, which is the term ^^^ we trans women suggest you use

*waves back*
Speaking of Caitlyn Jenner, some of you might appreciate this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/anjalipatel/...pfp#.oex2M5Yge
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Old 07-15-2015, 05:25 PM   #25
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Got it
Thanks Sticky
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