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Old 09-05-2013, 10:57 PM   #1
UnderYourSpell
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Inappropriate metaphors

The night was like a cucumber, long with no calories
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They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
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....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:08 PM   #2
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she was as open as a fisted (fill in your fave bodily opening)...
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:36 PM   #3
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Quote:
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she was as open as a fisted (fill in your fave bodily opening)...
ewwwwwwwwwww
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
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Old 09-06-2013, 02:41 PM   #4
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linda's heart was a badly-maintained litter tray - shat in too often for others' convenience yet pooh-poohed by all....


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Old 09-06-2013, 02:48 PM   #5
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so constipated, his arse was a blocked chimney, waiting for cheeky young sweeps to scramble up inside and unblock it.









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Old 09-06-2013, 03:56 PM   #6
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:16 PM   #7
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:20 PM   #8
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Is there a rule the metaphor has to be gross?
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:22 PM   #9
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Trapped like a rat in an unimaginable orifice.

So. This thread is going well. *ducks*
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:23 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tristesse2 View Post
Is there a rule the metaphor has to be gross?
no, just inappropriate

i was the one grossing it up. sorry. i was trying for as inappropriate as possible.
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:23 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
Trapped like a rat in an unimaginable orifice.

So. This thread is going well. *ducks*
glad you joined me at unimaginable depths
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:24 PM   #12
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to be fair, A, at first glance i thought that read 'office'. still worked as quite inappropriate
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:25 PM   #13
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Quote:
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glad you joined me at unimaginable depths
I say we both blame Champ.
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:28 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
I say we both blame Champ.
she certainly steered us in that direction what with her long cucumber....

oops, annie. i meant annie.

and champ led us down the slippery path
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:31 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
The night was like a cucumber, long with no calories
Erm, that's a simile, not a metaphor

She came like an epileptic, thrashing and twitching about. - is a simile.

He was a horny toad, warts protruding and tongue looking for bugs to swallow. - is a metaphor.
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:35 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greatstuffing View Post
Erm, that's a simile, not a metaphor

She came like an epileptic, thrashing and twitching about. - is a simile.

He was a horny toad, warts protruding and tongue looking for bugs to swallow. - is a metaphor.
erm, we know. but it's just a funny thread not taking itself seriously.

a tommy cooper's last stage appearance of a thread
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:39 PM   #17
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he was as into hardcore banging as a sweaty labourer with an oversized lump hammer in his hand and a mildewed lean-to in need of demolishing
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:41 PM   #18
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or, to phrase that more metaphorically, 'he was into hardcore banging: a sweaty labourer with an oversized lump hammer in his hand and a mildewed lean-to in need of demolishing'
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:48 PM   #19
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inappropriate enough?

his will to move was a quadriplegic on speed: all there but going no place fast.
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Old 09-06-2013, 04:49 PM   #20
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i should step away from this thread, shouldn't i?
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Old 09-06-2013, 07:14 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butters View Post
his will to move was a quadriplegic on speed: all there but going no place fast.
Butters!!
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
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Annie submits
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Old 09-06-2013, 07:17 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greatstuffing View Post
Erm, that's a simile, not a metaphor

She came like an epileptic, thrashing and twitching about. - is a simile.

He was a horny toad, warts protruding and tongue looking for bugs to swallow. - is a metaphor.
It's my thread and I'll stick similes in it if I want to
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 09-06-2013, 07:21 PM   #23
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He had the attention span of a goldfish without it's redeeming grace of being easy on the eye
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 09-06-2013, 07:28 PM   #24
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The Sun is a ping-pong ball only bigger and less bouncy.
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Old 09-06-2013, 09:25 PM   #25
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He had the face of a sheep with a deep and secret sorrow.
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