This is in response to a dare placed on me by one of our moderators. With much honour and reverse pride at stake, I could not refuse. Please, don't let this define the limits of my talent (whatever it may be) but instead, accept it for what it is... A truly shitty poem.
The Ugly Side Of Fairytales
Out in the misty boggy bottom land
there waits a sweet virgin with proffered hand
to stroke the horn of the beauteous beast
as he drools over the freshly laid feast
He stands strong and straight. His great head held high
in shadows dark beneath a grey lit sky,
with rude comment he turns on his sharp heel
and loudly critiques his previous meal
the flatulent spew of this horse's ass
leaves the maid green from the sulphuric gas
he lets rip through the dawn and birdie song.
Then he air wipes the snot dangling down long
and gelatinous from his Roman nose.
With patrician disdain he sniffs at the rose
bushes that litter this quiet clearing
and snorts at the maid who recoils, fearing
his unrestrained passing of body waste.
Much to her dismay, in spite of her haste
the ill-mannered stud lets go a hot stream
that lands on her lace hem to stink and steam.
With loud guffaws at her righteous disgust
he belches as he drops his foul shit just
in front of her toes. She squealed as she ran
to the side of the pond where she began
laughing hysterically at this odd day,
her precious innocence out on display
to entice this boor into the strong net
of her father who she hopes will now get
a fabulous price for the mystical horn
that grows out of the head of the unicorn.
Maybe tomorrow she'll pick him a rose
as he lay dying 'neath brilliant rainbows.