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Old 07-23-2013, 10:00 PM   #1
luvthedesserts
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My Granddaddy always said...

Before I bring my particular twist to this brand new and shiny thread, I'll go with some from my actual grandfather. Feel free to say Grandmother, Daddy, Momma, Mommy Dearest, Creepy Uncle Bob, whatever.


My granddaddy always said...Brag was a good dog, but Brave was better.

MGAS...Every animal has an asshole. No reason to add a second.

MGAS...Don't screw what you wouldn't marry.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:04 PM   #2
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MGAS...In the grand scheme of things, you really aren't all that important. So why are you acting as if you are?
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:05 PM   #3
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MGAS...If you broke it, blame your brother.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:07 PM   #4
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My grandmother always said "Pretty is as pretty does..."
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:08 PM   #5
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My grandmother also always said "Two wrongs don't make a right."
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:11 PM   #6
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My Granddaddy always said....If that's the best you can do, go get one of your momma's dresses.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:13 PM   #7
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MGAS "Is there a hubtag on your car?"
He loved that commercial!
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:14 PM   #8
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My grandmother always said "When it comes to wanting things... you can want in one hand and shit in the other, and see which gets filled the quickest.."

See I get it honest... lol
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:14 PM   #9
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My Granddaddy always said: You make a better barn door than you do a window....(when I was blocking his tv program)
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:18 PM   #10
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My granddaddy always said....There's no such thing as I can't, just I won't.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:19 PM   #11
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My granddaddy always said...Just cause you blow a doctor, don't make you one.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:22 PM   #12
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My granddaddy always said there's nothing shameful about being poor but it sure is unhandy.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:23 PM   #13
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My Granddaddy always said...Sir, one day you're gonna be walking up your front steps and your wife is gonna run out from under the porch and bite you.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:28 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubenesqueAphrodite View Post
[color="DarkGreen"]My grandmother always said "When it comes to wanting things... you can want in one hand and shit in the other, and see which gets filled the quickest.."
my Grandmother said that too, and also:

"Nobody likes a smartass, but everybody likes a piece of ass."
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:29 PM   #15
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My Grandaddy always said, Condoms were for pussies
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:29 PM   #16
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My granddaddy always said...Just give Grammar Nazis their space. It's not their fault they were born with a silver pen up their ass.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:32 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kimbalee View Post
my Grandmother said that too, and also:

"Nobody likes a smartass, but everybody likes a piece of ass."
LOL... I wonder if the fact that I have a great ass will negate the fact that I am a smart ass?

hmmm... inquiring minds and all that..
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:33 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvthedesserts View Post
My granddaddy always said...Just give Grammar Nazis their space. It's not their fault they were born with a silver pen up their ass.
That is funny.........
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:35 PM   #19
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My Grandpa always said "Never eat the yellow snow."
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:40 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinktacokitty View Post
That is funny.........
Who knew my granddaddy was a smartass?
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:42 PM   #21
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My Granddaddy always said...You better not be checking out your grandmother's ass.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:43 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubenesqueAphrodite View Post
My grandmother also always said "Two wrongs don't make a right."
two wrongs don't make a right, unless you're counting backwards. (hiya, Goddess.)

from Sh*t My Dad Says:

"Do people your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."

On Accidentally Eating Dog Treats : "Snausages? I致e been eating dog treats? Why the fuck would you put them on the counter where the rest of the food is? Fuck it, they池e delicious. I will not be shamed by this."

On Pringles Flavors : "I知 not eating something called 叢izzalicious. That痴 not even a fucking adjective. You can稚 add 鼠icious to nouns. That痴 bullshit."
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:44 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by respeito View Post
two wrongs don't make a right, unless you're counting backwards. (hiya, Goddess.)

from Sh*t My Dad Says:

"Do people your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."

On Accidentally Eating Dog Treats : "Snausages? I致e been eating dog treats? Why the fuck would you put them on the counter where the rest of the food is? Fuck it, they池e delicious. I will not be shamed by this."

On Pringles Flavors : "I知 not eating something called 叢izzalicious. That痴 not even a fucking adjective. You can稚 add 鼠icious to nouns. That痴 bullshit."
*laughing*

Respy, your dad is hilarious.
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((You're adopted)) 9-13-08.
Ben is a shithead who calls me "potato salad."
"you are wise, crayon- goddess." ~respeito on 11-03-12

missing Finn.
Ha. You're turning into a hockey fan. If you're not careful you'll start being polite, too. Next thing you know, people will start thinking you're a Canadian. ~JD 2/01/13
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:46 PM   #24
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My daddy always said, "Put this aspirin between your knees if it falls to the floor it's time to get your ass home."
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:47 PM   #25
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My Granddaddy always said...If you see an aspirin between a girl's knees, superglue it to one of her legs.
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