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Old 12-01-2007, 11:03 AM   #151
minx1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dixicritter
minx1, you mentioned that you are also having a difficult time with Him being away at the moment. I know that feeling quite well. I can assure you that this is very normal. You are not crazy.

I tend to believe that what happens to me is that I tend to push myself too hard and then feel like maybe I'm disappoint Daddy. Even though He assures me I'm not, I know that there are times that I have due to my medical limitations. So I'll get down. It does help, like you said, for Him to take me in His arms and hold me and comfort me.

Now when He's away, I start to get this lost feeling. Usually not at first, but definitely harder at night. You would think after being a military spouse for the last 19 years I'd be used to it right? Nope. Has been hard all these years, I just deal with it and go on. I've always owned a big dog and a gun... LOL. (Kidding about the gun folks, sorta )

I'm sure that you can get through this. I assure you that what you've posted in no way seems to me out of the norm, so take heart you'll be OK.
Thanks Dixicritter

I'm probably not explaining myself very well lol. I am actually fine at the moment...well apart from missing him a lot! lol I know thats me missing him and our time together rather than a drop.

I just wondered if the feelings I sometimes experience after we have spent time together is the whole sub drop thing. Not that it matters really in terms of me giving it a label....I guess the answer is that whatever it is...you just have to do whatever you can to minimise those feelings.

My goodness I don't envy you Dixicritter...that must be really difficult! Mine was only away a week! *giggles* Though we will have some time apart again very soon. Still I am determined to get through it and get through it well...so as to make him proud.

I think we are pretty similar in that I tend to give myself a hard time too...I am my own worst critic. But I would bet that neither of us disappoint our Masters in the slightest and that they are infact very proud of us.
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Brave of Heart

Sail away from the safe harbour.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."
--Mark Twain


Well, this little girl grew up and moved away.
And she lived her life full of risk and full of play.
And she lived her life with so much to say,
And her flowers, they grow more beautiful every day.
Little Red, Kate Nash

Betwixt and Between........this reluctant antevasin

"The very instant that I saw You did my heart fly to Your service; there resides to make me slave to it and for Your sake" William Shakespeare

"if one person can not trust the veracity of another's words, communication is utterly meaningless." JMohegan


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Old 12-01-2007, 11:30 AM   #152
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minx1
Thanks Dixicritter

I'm probably not explaining myself very well lol. I am actually fine at the moment...well apart from missing him a lot! lol I know thats me missing him and our time together rather than a drop.

I just wondered if the feelings I sometimes experience after we have spent time together is the whole sub drop thing. Not that it matters really in terms of me giving it a label....I guess the answer is that whatever it is...you just have to do whatever you can to minimise those feelings.

My goodness I don't envy you Dixicritter...that must be really difficult! Mine was only away a week! *giggles* Though we will have some time apart again very soon. Still I am determined to get through it and get through it well...so as to make him proud.

I think we are pretty similar in that I tend to give myself a hard time too...I am my own worst critic. But I would bet that neither of us disappoint our Masters in the slightest and that they are infact very proud of us.
I know what you mean...lol. I realized that you said you were OK right now, sorry I didn't mention that in my last post.

I don't think that minimizing how we're feeling is exactly the right way to go about it honestly. To me that's like saying we don't have a right to our feelings, which I'm pretty sure isn't what you're trying to say. It is really hard to explain here. I think what needs to happen is to acknowledge and admit what we're going through. That sort of goes along with open communication to me.

Daddy wants me to let him know when I'm in that "dark" place. So that He can be there for me, to help me through it. If I were to disregard it, then He couldn't help me. It's tough to admit it sometimes, I'll grant you that, but well worth it in the long run.

Of course this is all dependant on if your Master feels the same way Daddy does...LOL... which I would assume He probably does based on what you've already posted. My advice is to (as hard as it is) not try and cope with this alone, let your Master know you need His help. Believe me I KNOW just how tough that is to do.
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Old 12-01-2007, 12:09 PM   #153
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I think what you are experiencing right afterwards does sound like drop. It doesn't mean it's not powerful because it's a chemical reaction. It's very real. I recommended the bath or other physically soothing activities because the touch can help.

Glad you're feeling ok at the moment though!
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Old 12-01-2007, 09:37 PM   #154
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dixicritter
I know what you mean...lol. I realized that you said you were OK right now, sorry I didn't mention that in my last post.

I don't think that minimizing how we're feeling is exactly the right way to go about it honestly. To me that's like saying we don't have a right to our feelings, which I'm pretty sure isn't what you're trying to say. It is really hard to explain here. I think what needs to happen is to acknowledge and admit what we're going through. That sort of goes along with open communication to me.

Daddy wants me to let him know when I'm in that "dark" place. So that He can be there for me, to help me through it. If I were to disregard it, then He couldn't help me. It's tough to admit it sometimes, I'll grant you that, but well worth it in the long run.

Of course this is all dependant on if your Master feels the same way Daddy does...LOL... which I would assume He probably does based on what you've already posted. My advice is to (as hard as it is) not try and cope with this alone, let your Master know you need His help. Believe me I KNOW just how tough that is to do.
Yeah good avice Dixi...thanks

My Master likes to know how I am feeling and he would definitely want to know why I haven't told him! *smile*
I have kinda mentioned it in passing but not really made a big deal out of it...I guess because I was waiting to see if it stopped lol. To find out if it was sub drop first...or if it was me being just me!
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Brave of Heart

Sail away from the safe harbour.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."
--Mark Twain


Well, this little girl grew up and moved away.
And she lived her life full of risk and full of play.
And she lived her life with so much to say,
And her flowers, they grow more beautiful every day.
Little Red, Kate Nash

Betwixt and Between........this reluctant antevasin

"The very instant that I saw You did my heart fly to Your service; there resides to make me slave to it and for Your sake" William Shakespeare

"if one person can not trust the veracity of another's words, communication is utterly meaningless." JMohegan


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Old 12-01-2007, 09:42 PM   #155
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Quote:
Originally Posted by intothewoods
I think what you are experiencing right afterwards does sound like drop. It doesn't mean it's not powerful because it's a chemical reaction. It's very real. I recommended the bath or other physically soothing activities because the touch can help.

Glad you're feeling ok at the moment though!
thanks itw. Yeah I find the whole holding, stroking and soothing bit afterwards really helps.
I mean its always nice, right? But I seem to [i]need[/ithat more than I ever did before, to help me come down gently. Having said that...I never felt this kinda 'drop' duing any of my vanilla relationships.
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Just a Tease




Brave of Heart

Sail away from the safe harbour.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."
--Mark Twain


Well, this little girl grew up and moved away.
And she lived her life full of risk and full of play.
And she lived her life with so much to say,
And her flowers, they grow more beautiful every day.
Little Red, Kate Nash

Betwixt and Between........this reluctant antevasin

"The very instant that I saw You did my heart fly to Your service; there resides to make me slave to it and for Your sake" William Shakespeare

"if one person can not trust the veracity of another's words, communication is utterly meaningless." JMohegan


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Old 12-01-2007, 09:55 PM   #156
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minx1
thanks itw. Yeah I find the whole holding, stroking and soothing bit afterwards really helps.
I mean its always nice, right? But I seem to [i]need[/ithat more than I ever did before, to help me come down gently. Having said that...I never felt this kinda 'drop' duing any of my vanilla relationships.
Vanilla relationships don't tend to involve so much physical intensity, pain, etc.
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-myinnerslut, from the Ropework Photos thread...


I am not usually one for titles. In my world, titles are reserved for relationships.
Millificent (aka "viv") and myinnerslut both call me "Master".
You can call me "Homburg". Still accepting Rope Bunny applications, of course.

Disclaimer: Live your life how you want to live. Be secure enough in what you do that _my_ words won't affect you. Because my opinion has no material meaning in your life beyond what you let it have.
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Old 12-01-2007, 10:24 PM   #157
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg
Vanilla relationships don't tend to involve so much physical intensity, pain, etc.
yes absolutely Homburg. Sorry I'm doing it again, making a statement and not explaining myself very well. I don't seem to be able to put my brain into gear at the moment lol....

Thats my point I guess...the touch, holding etc is always nice, whether its bdsm or vanilla. But its only since i have been a sub that I have felt a need to have that...just because as you say Homburg, it can be extremely intense.
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Just a Tease




Brave of Heart

Sail away from the safe harbour.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."
--Mark Twain


Well, this little girl grew up and moved away.
And she lived her life full of risk and full of play.
And she lived her life with so much to say,
And her flowers, they grow more beautiful every day.
Little Red, Kate Nash

Betwixt and Between........this reluctant antevasin

"The very instant that I saw You did my heart fly to Your service; there resides to make me slave to it and for Your sake" William Shakespeare

"if one person can not trust the veracity of another's words, communication is utterly meaningless." JMohegan



Last edited by minx1 : 12-01-2007 at 10:33 PM.
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Old 12-01-2007, 11:02 PM   #158
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minx1
yes absolutely Homburg. Sorry I'm doing it again, making a statement and not explaining myself very well. I don't seem to be able to put my brain into gear at the moment lol....

Thats my point I guess...the touch, holding etc is always nice, whether its bdsm or vanilla. But its only since i have been a sub that I have felt a need to have that...just because as you say Homburg, it can be extremely intense.
I might be off, but I don't think it's that your brain isn't in gear. I think it's just kind of crazy when it all finally happens! Especially if you've been thinking about it all this time first.

This is my first bdsm relationship. I don't know how much it's bdsm and how much it's vanilla, but our play is intense, emotionally and physically. There have been times when I needed to be held. Now there are times when I just need a pat on the head and a "good girl."
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Old 12-01-2007, 11:06 PM   #159
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minx1
yes absolutely Homburg. Sorry I'm doing it again, making a statement and not explaining myself very well. I don't seem to be able to put my brain into gear at the moment lol....
It's cool. Like ITW said, it can be crazy. I know I have trouble staying focused after a nasty bout of Top Drop.

And, hey, I'm still in my first BDSM relationship too. Admittedly we've been together for 16 years, 5 of which we've actually been calling what we do D/s, but I've been Dominant the whole time, and she's been submissive just as long. I'm new too!
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I am not usually one for titles. In my world, titles are reserved for relationships.
Millificent (aka "viv") and myinnerslut both call me "Master".
You can call me "Homburg". Still accepting Rope Bunny applications, of course.

Disclaimer: Live your life how you want to live. Be secure enough in what you do that _my_ words won't affect you. Because my opinion has no material meaning in your life beyond what you let it have.
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Old 12-02-2007, 10:20 PM   #160
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:(

ouch.

hurts. so. fucking. bad.

want to crawl into bed and re-emerge in 20 days.

i have read the advice on this thread and want to just thank everyone who has contributed. i know that sub-drop isn't a universal experience, but i also know that it is real for some (for me, sadly) and can 'cause intense and wide ranging emotional ups and downs. But more importantly, i know that it does not last forever (thank the gods).

oh, i just remembered a silly line from a poem i included in an "art" project i made for Daddy and that He hung on His fridge:

"Today, i was the miracle. i was without You. And i lived."

Sigh.

i need a nightcap.
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kitty’s goodnight prayer

Daddy, i am glad that You have chosen me and me alone.

i will be a good girl for You Daddy, and i will accept Your direction obediently, thankfully, and without complaint.

i am a work in progress, but i will become full in time, complete for Daddy and complete for me.

Good night, Daddy.

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Old 12-02-2007, 10:44 PM   #161
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*warm hugs for subkitty*

It'll get better, sweetheart.
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-myinnerslut, from the Ropework Photos thread...


I am not usually one for titles. In my world, titles are reserved for relationships.
Millificent (aka "viv") and myinnerslut both call me "Master".
You can call me "Homburg". Still accepting Rope Bunny applications, of course.

Disclaimer: Live your life how you want to live. Be secure enough in what you do that _my_ words won't affect you. Because my opinion has no material meaning in your life beyond what you let it have.
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Old 12-02-2007, 11:01 PM   #162
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I'm gonna pop in to be cold and clinical and remind people it's not just emotions. You are playing with your brain. You are, essentially, doing something equivalent to doing drugs. Flooding the noggin with dopamine and endorphins and if you're the Dom whacking your adrenals into full engagement - yeah, you don't normally do that in the course of vanilla relationships.
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Old 12-02-2007, 11:05 PM   #163
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Netzach
I'm gonna pop in to be cold and clinical and remind people it's not just emotions. You are playing with your brain. You are, essentially, doing something equivalent to doing drugs. Flooding the noggin with dopamine and endorphins and if you're the Dom whacking your adrenals into full engagement - yeah, you don't normally do that in the course of vanilla relationships.

Thanks Netzach...for being 'cold and clinical' and actually really helpful
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Brave of Heart

Sail away from the safe harbour.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."
--Mark Twain


Well, this little girl grew up and moved away.
And she lived her life full of risk and full of play.
And she lived her life with so much to say,
And her flowers, they grow more beautiful every day.
Little Red, Kate Nash

Betwixt and Between........this reluctant antevasin

"The very instant that I saw You did my heart fly to Your service; there resides to make me slave to it and for Your sake" William Shakespeare

"if one person can not trust the veracity of another's words, communication is utterly meaningless." JMohegan


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Old 12-02-2007, 11:09 PM   #164
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Yeah, that's for real. That's why I was thinking maybe if you did something tactile, like the bath, it might help. Maybe even get a pedicure! Touch helps.
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Old 12-03-2007, 12:17 AM   #165
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homburg
*warm hugs for subkitty*

It'll get better, sweetheart.
Thank you, don Hommy. Your words made my heart smile.

i am doing some "tangible" things to mitigate the "i'm falling down to earth like a fucking dart" feelings i've been having.

i am wearing Daddy's University of Virginia Law hoodie, which is obscenely large on me, but still smells like Him.

i am having champagne and watching Comedy Central (hey, alcohol helps, or numbs. either way, i feel better ).

At the risk of cross-pollinating threads, i want to just state that meeting in real life, experiencing the pleasure and the pain in real flesh, is just about the most perfect, most "complete" thing i have ever done. No offense at all to my online only D/sers: i started that way and it was powerful. Thought it could provide all i needed. i am so glad i stepped out on faith (hard to do for an atheist) and took the chance. i am better for it. Daddy and i are better together than We are apart. Are better in body together.

And if the price i have to pay is this private purgatory, this sub-drop, i pay it gladly and in real currency.
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kitty’s goodnight prayer

Daddy, i am glad that You have chosen me and me alone.

i will be a good girl for You Daddy, and i will accept Your direction obediently, thankfully, and without complaint.

i am a work in progress, but i will become full in time, complete for Daddy and complete for me.

Good night, Daddy.

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Old 12-03-2007, 12:46 AM   #166
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Quote:
Originally Posted by subkitty72
i am having champagne and watching Comedy Central (hey, alcohol helps, or numbs. either way, i feel better ).
BDSM in large doses can cause adrenal exhaustion. Sort of like overtraining with exercise, weights, etc. Alcohol can actually help by messing with your hormones in a different way. I can't gracefully explain it, but it can help.

Quote:
At the risk of cross-pollinating threads, i want to just state that meeting in real life, experiencing the pleasure and the pain in real flesh, is just about the most perfect, most "complete" thing i have ever done. No offense at all to my online only D/sers: i started that way and it was powerful. Thought it could provide all i needed. i am so glad i stepped out on faith (hard to do for an atheist) and took the chance. i am better for it. Daddy and i are better together than We are apart. Are better in body together.

And if the price i have to pay is this private purgatory, this sub-drop, i pay it gladly and in real currency.

I know, lovely. It is a heavy price to pay, but worth it. I'm just glad that you got to do it.
__________________
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-myinnerslut, from the Ropework Photos thread...


I am not usually one for titles. In my world, titles are reserved for relationships.
Millificent (aka "viv") and myinnerslut both call me "Master".
You can call me "Homburg". Still accepting Rope Bunny applications, of course.

Disclaimer: Live your life how you want to live. Be secure enough in what you do that _my_ words won't affect you. Because my opinion has no material meaning in your life beyond what you let it have.
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Old 12-03-2007, 09:40 AM   #167
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Netzach
I'm gonna pop in to be cold and clinical and remind people it's not just emotions. You are playing with your brain. You are, essentially, doing something equivalent to doing drugs. Flooding the noggin with dopamine and endorphins and if you're the Dom whacking your adrenals into full engagement - yeah, you don't normally do that in the course of vanilla relationships.
You are correct. However, "drugs" also have a tendancy to affect the emotions as a side effect. Which is why the TLC tends to help some. This doesn't work for everyone of course.

The "flooding the noggin" happens for the submissive too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by intothewoods
Yeah, that's for real. That's why I was thinking maybe if you did something tactile, like the bath, it might help. Maybe even get a pedicure! Touch helps.
Also some very good suggestions!
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Old 12-11-2007, 08:47 PM   #168
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Old 12-11-2007, 10:44 PM   #169
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sometimes even a simple thing like chocolate and a hot shower or even an orgasm can help... i myself feel like i am in drop but nothing i helping.. you will feel better soon i am sure
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Old 12-20-2007, 04:16 AM   #170
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sub drop? seasonal blues? little of both?

I'm not quite sure what my little mind has been going through. I know I don't like it though.

I'm in a sort of general malaise. It's not that I am unhappy, more that I am not as happy as I usually am. I've always been the glass half full kind of gal. Lately I've felt as half empty as this glass of port in front of me. It's hard to explain, but I have been having doubts. Not about anything in particular, well that's not entirely true. Why do I find myself second guessing so much lately? Second guessing other people? I haven't been given any reason to. Looking for little reassurances that don't come. I don't understand where the need to do that comes from. That's never been me. Once I get to know someone, I take everything at face value unless given a reason to do otherwise. Why do I find myself analyzing everyone now?

Part of me says this is seasonal blues although I have never had that before. Sure I have cried when I talk to my family on the holidays, but that is out of missing them. I am always rock solid until the moment someone says they wish I was there. I have never had it hit before those words have been spoken. Why would this year be any different from the countless others I have shared via phone?

Another part of me says it's stress. They implemented a new system at work and it can best be described as uncontrolled chaos. The job itself is stressful, but now there are all of these extra stresses added on top of that. I am about to start a stretch of seven straight 12 hour days. I'm not looking forward to that. I already need a break. Granted part of that is my fault for signing up for the overtime, but somebody has to do it. I'm a supervisor. I have to lead by example. I essentially have no family here. At least if I am working somebody else can be home with theirs. On top of that my roommate is moving in a couple of weeks. While that is actually going to alleviate a lot of stress in my life, on the other hand I'm going to miss my friend.

And the last part of me speaks up. I'm not sure if this qualifies as sub drop or something else. Granted I was on a pretty hard frenzy for awhile, but would it take as long as a month to kick in? Keeping in mind the frenzy lasted over a week and I went through about another week adjusting to looking through my new eyes, so in effect I haven't slowed down until recently. My life took a 180. Common sense says there will be adjustment to that. I liked the past weeks. The hyper sensitivity, the urges in overdrive. That realization of "Oh this is possible. This is better than I thought it would be. This is the direction I want/need to go. How far will I be willing to go?" I liked taking what felt like the first true deep breath in my life and saying, "This is me. Finally."

I feel like there is a hole right now and I'm not sure what I need to fill it with. Is it for me to fill? I've always been self reliant. I took a chance, stepped forward, and handed the reins over. Now I am trying to figure out what to do with them. Is this the price of feeling that exalted? The Yin and Yang of emotions?

I feel...vulnerable. I hate that feeling.
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:15 PM   #171
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Originally Posted by madetotakeit View Post
And the last part of me speaks up. I'm not sure if this qualifies as sub drop or something else. Granted I was on a pretty hard frenzy for awhile, but would it take as long as a month to kick in? Keeping in mind the frenzy lasted over a week and I went through about another week adjusting to looking through my new eyes, so in effect I haven't slowed down until recently. My life took a 180. Common sense says there will be adjustment to that. I liked the past weeks. The hyper sensitivity, the urges in overdrive. That realization of "Oh this is possible. This is better than I thought it would be. This is the direction I want/need to go. How far will I be willing to go?" I liked taking what felt like the first true deep breath in my life and saying, "This is me. Finally."

I feel like there is a hole right now and I'm not sure what I need to fill it with. Is it for me to fill? I've always been self reliant. I took a chance, stepped forward, and handed the reins over. Now I am trying to figure out what to do with them. Is this the price of feeling that exalted? The Yin and Yang of emotions?
That is pretty much how this game works. While TopSpace and TopDrop are different animals from the sub versions, they exhibit similarities. It's all a matter of dopamine response, prolactin levels, and other fun hormonal balance issues. When you're in frenzy, or your appropriate Xspace, your endorphins are cruising and dopamine levels are high. After a while, the body adjusts by dropping dopamine and raising porlactin. Whee, down comes you. High levels of prolactin make you feel down, and reduce your dopamine sensitivty, so that the things that you find pleasaurable are less pleasurable.

It is a complex and elegant survival mechanism designed to keep you from sitting in your cave all day and screwing, and thus ignoring the need for food, wtaer, etc.

Quote:
I feel...vulnerable. I hate that feeling.
Vulnerability is hot. That emotionally raw and ragged state? Rawr.
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:18 PM   #172
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Well Hom, you would find me pretty damn irresistible right now then.

I thought after reading all the posts that it might be drop. I read somewhere that withdrawal can bring it on as well. I just wasn't sure if it could be so delayed.
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Old 12-20-2007, 11:02 PM   #173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madetotakeit View Post
*snip*

My life took a 180. Common sense says there will be adjustment to that.

I feel...vulnerable. I hate that feeling.

Sorry you are feeling a bit low madetotakeit. Imo I think you have analysed your own situation very well and hit the nail on the head.

it is only natural that such drastic change to your circumstances would bring on feelings of vulnerability, uncertainty and loss of control. I find that whenever I feel like that those emotions seem to taint every aspect of my life to various degrees and it becomes hard to sort the wheat from the chaff.

It is also times like that that we look for reassurances. When they don't come it becomes part of a self fulfilling prophecy...only adding to the feelings of vulnerability and adding fuel to the thoughts that things aren't right

Often we expect our families and SO to instinctively know how we are feeling, but the fact of the matter is, often they won't until we tell them. I don't know if you have discussed you feelings with your PYL yet. Its something I am learning to do more of. To explain and talk about my feelings and concerns and to ask him for reassurance if I need it. He has pointed out once or twice before that his mindreading skills aren't quite up to scratch *smile*

My advice is to take it all in bite size chunks, that way things won't get to the stage where they seem so huge or insurmountable. Talk it over with your PYL and try and work through which are the parts that are the most unsettling.

As for sub drop...I really don't know; I'm not quite sure if I have suffered from it myself! But whatever the label, you are feeling restless and a little blue and it seems experiencing a 'drop' of some desription. With the holidays and being a way from family, stresses at work on top of the multitude of feelings that surface from submission, its really not surprising *hugs*.

I hope these feelings lift soon
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Old 02-04-2008, 04:45 PM   #174
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Hope no one minds the bump...
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The world is chock full of women who will gladly let me eat their pussy... but fervently hope that I won't let them eat mine.
That kind of bisexual, I can live without.

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Old 03-18-2009, 04:58 PM   #175
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Hi all.

I think it is time for a bump to this thread as there is so much information that can help people that don't understand what has or is happening.
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