Sub Drop?

[A Desert Rose]

Originally Posted by kayte

Good morning {{{{{{{ADR}}}}}}}}}

Love you Sweetie. Hope your week is turning into a terrific one for you. Things are going well for me hon.

Gee, and this interchange gets the thread bumped up too.

There was a time when I was KC's thread hijacking cohort. And I can say with all sincerity that we were gooooood at it.

LOL

Mostly it was all in good fun. And you and I can keep this conversation ongoing, on or off topic. I you that much. ;-)

There was also a time or several dozen when I said things on this board that I now wish I hadn't. I've said I was sorry to many of those people, in PM and on the boards. Some have forgiven me... others have not.

Forgiveness is a hard concept... and a whole other thread topic...

[kayte]

Originally Posted by A Desert Rose

There was a time when I was KC's thread hijacking cohort. And I can say with all sincerity that we were gooooood at it.

LOL

Mostly it was all in good fun. And you and I can keep this conversation ongoing, on or off topic. I you that much. ;-)

There was also a time or several dozen when I said things on this board that I now wish I hadn't. I've said I was sorry to many of those people, in PM and on the boards. Some have forgiven me... others have not.

Forgiveness is a hard concept... and a whole other thread topic...

{{{{{{{{{{ADR}}}}}}}}}}}}} I hadn't thought of it as hijacking but I guess it is. Does keep the thread at the top without just bumping.

So:

This is a thread for discussing what may happen "after" an intense scene/experience to how a person may feel. About themselves and everything else. That it may be a tad scary until you understand the whys...

[kayte]

Happy Hump Day everyone.

[kayte]

A gentle bump

[subkitty72]

Can someone tell me if this is more or less likely to occur after one's first scene? What I mean is, does the likelihood of occurence diminish as the scenes become more frequent?

Is it proportional to the emotional attachment the sub has to her Dom, i.e. if it's a casual, mainly sexual relationship versus a love-type thing.

What, if anything, can be done to mitigate the emotional/psychic damage (for lack of a better word).

I'm scared to death of experiencing this. Not that I'm in any imminent danger of it...but I like to plan ahead.

Thanks y'all. -kitty

[BiBunny]

Originally Posted by subkitty72

Can someone tell me if this is more or less likely to occur after one's first scene? What I mean is, does the likelihood of occurence diminish as the scenes become more frequent?

Is it proportional to the emotional attachment the sub has to her Dom, i.e. if it's a casual, mainly sexual relationship versus a love-type thing.

What, if anything, can be done to mitigate the emotional/psychic damage (for lack of a better word).

I'm scared to death of experiencing this. Not that I'm in any imminent danger of it...but I like to plan ahead.

Thanks y'all. -kitty

It can occur at any time during a relationship, and I don't really think that the emotional attachment has much effect on it either way. It's a matter of brain chemistry, and brain chemicals are drugs, in a way. If you play with drugs, you're bound to get a bad reaction, eventually, because they're so unpredictable. Not that you shouldn't do BDSM stuff. Hey, it usually way better for you than drugs! Just be prepared in case it does happen.

[subkitty72]

Originally Posted by BiBunny

It can occur at any time during a relationship, and I don't really think that the emotional attachment has much effect on it either way. It's a matter of brain chemistry, and brain chemicals are drugs, in a way. If you play with drugs, you're bound to get a bad reaction, eventually, because they're so unpredictable. Not that you shouldn't do BDSM stuff. Hey, it usually way better for you than drugs! Just be prepared in case it does happen.

Yikes!

Somehow, this does not encourage me.

But I understand what you're saying.

My options (as I see them) are:

1. Never scene
2. Scene and accept that this may happen.
3. Scene and do lots of drugs to counter the brain drugs that are going to fuck me up.

hmmmmnn. Well, I have lots of time to decide which option I like best.

Thanks, pretty Bunny.

[BiBunny]

Originally Posted by subkitty72

Yikes!

Somehow, this does not encourage me.

But I understand what you're saying.

My options (as I see them) are:

1. Never scene
2. Scene and accept that this may happen.
3. Scene and do lots of drugs to counter the brain drugs that are going to fuck me up.

hmmmmnn. Well, I have lots of time to decide which option I like best.

Thanks, pretty Bunny.

I'm sorry! I didn't mean to worry you, LOL.

I think knowing that there's a chance it can happen after any scene, even a fairly mild one, is as good an ammunition as any. Having a supportive partner also helps. I'm not saying you have to be madly in love with your partner, but if it's something you're really concerned about, you're probably not going to want to hook up with the "scene and run" types.

If it makes you feel better, though, I've been playing with B. for a year and a half, and I can only remember twice that the "drop" was worse than the typical, "Oh, I don't want to get out of bed and go to work/school/whatever" blues that everybody gets from time to time.

[Blushing Bottom]

I dropped a sub once. She was on my man and...

just kidding

[lil_slave_rose]

Originally Posted by subkitty72

Can someone tell me if this is more or less likely to occur after one's first scene? What I mean is, does the likelihood of occurence diminish as the scenes become more frequent?

Is it proportional to the emotional attachment the sub has to her Dom, i.e. if it's a casual, mainly sexual relationship versus a love-type thing.

What, if anything, can be done to mitigate the emotional/psychic damage (for lack of a better word).

I'm scared to death of experiencing this. Not that I'm in any imminent danger of it...but I like to plan ahead.

Thanks y'all. -kitty

sub drop didn't happen to me until i met Him face to face and it didn't happen after any scene, it happened after He got on that plane to go back to Cali. we fit together so good, and we just fell into our "roles" (i dont' like that word as we are always what we are and we're not playing at it... but can't think of a better one right now) and i had Him here for a week, and then He was just...gone...and sub drop set in. i guess i would describe it as a deep depression.

but the one thing that helped me through it was a friend of ours (yes i'm sure you've seen Master and i talk about this person on other boards) took over "giving me orders" until Master was on the ground and able to help me out. she had me take a bath and gave me a few other "orders" she also told me to do everything as if i'm doing it for Him still. even down to eating dinner, because honestly i didn't even want to do that. i'm not sure you can really "plan" for it. it didn't happen the second and third time He came to see me, only the first.

[lil_slave_rose]

Originally Posted by BiBunny

It can occur at any time during a relationship, and I don't really think that the emotional attachment has much effect on it either way. It's a matter of brain chemistry, and brain chemicals are drugs, in a way. If you play with drugs, you're bound to get a bad reaction, eventually, because they're so unpredictable. Not that you shouldn't do BDSM stuff. Hey, it usually way better for you than drugs! Just be prepared in case it does happen.

i think that depends on the 'sub drop' we're discussing. i know when it happened to me, it had nothing to do with a scene or endorphins. it was definantly about that emotional attachment and even the physical attachment (being taken away) i think alot of people have different meanings for sub drop...*shrugs*

[HottieMama]

Originally Posted by subkitty72

Yikes!

Somehow, this does not encourage me.

But I understand what you're saying.

My options (as I see them) are:

1. Never scene
2. Scene and accept that this may happen.
3. Scene and do lots of drugs to counter the brain drugs that are going to fuck me up.

hmmmmnn. Well, I have lots of time to decide which option I like best.

Thanks, pretty Bunny.

No...No drugs...Drugs are YUCKY...Very very yucky...(says the girl that still craves dope after many yrs clean.)

[subkitty72]

Originally Posted by HottieMama

No...No drugs...Drugs are YUCKY...Very very yucky...(says the girl that still craves dope after many yrs clean.)

So proud of you for being clean and sober, mama.

I won't do drugs, sweetness...

After all, I do have two other options.

[BiBunny]

Originally Posted by lil_slave_rose

i think that depends on the 'sub drop' we're discussing. i know when it happened to me, it had nothing to do with a scene or endorphins. it was definantly about that emotional attachment and even the physical attachment (being taken away) i think alot of people have different meanings for sub drop...*shrugs*

And depression and emotional attachment are still linked to brain chemicals.

[HottieMama]

Originally Posted by subkitty72

So proud of you for being clean and sober, mama.

I won't do drugs, sweetness...

After all, I do have two other options.

Best advice...Scene and enjoy it for all it's worth...the highs and the lows...and know you have people you can depend on if you start to feel "off" when it's all over.

[CutieMouse]

Originally Posted by BiBunny

And depression and emotional attachment are still linked to brain chemicals.

Long luetal phases screw with my brain chemistry in the absolute worst way (aggrivated even moreso if life events are up in the air), and I never quite seem to realize what's happening until my cycle starts. Sigh.

Shopping list:

chasteberry
evening primrose oil
flaxseed oil capsules
B heavy multi-vitamin
sanity

[BiBunny]

Originally Posted by CutieMouse

Long luetal phases screw with my brain chemistry in the absolute worst way (aggrivated even moreso if life events are up in the air), and I never quite seem to realize what's happening until my cycle starts. Sigh.

Shopping list:

chasteberry
evening primrose oil
flaxseed oil capsules
B heavy multi-vitamin
sanity

*Sends a really hot, shirtless construction worker guy over to install a hot tub for the Mouse*

[CutieMouse]

Originally Posted by BiBunny

*Sends a really hot, shirtless construction worker guy over to install a hot tub for the Mouse*

Meh... not my type, but thank you.

[BiBunny]

Originally Posted by CutieMouse

Meh... not my type, but thank you.

Not mine, either, but I figured the hot tub would be a nice touch.

[kayte]

Friday afternoon bump

[SheDevilShay]

I really thought I had bi polar tedencies... except.. I wasn't like... manic.. I could get it immediately and I'd feel it happen.... it wasn't a gradual thing... and medication for being bi polar never worked for me....

I don't thikn its the same "kind" of chemical imbalance that say chronic depression or bi polar disorder would cause....


But I had alot of freaking out to do realizing it... and worried that I was totally fucked in the head because sometimes i'd be really happy... after some really good sex.. and then i'd drop a few minutes later feeling like shit and totally sad and just like "WTF"!!! I had no reason for it.. but this thread sure helped me get it...

No wonder spankings help this issue...

[Netzach]

Originally Posted by CutieMouse

Meh... not my type, but thank you.

So, it's called re-gifting! Do it here!

Things that are different since the last time I would bottom to my Bull: I'm 34 not 26. Sorry, but I think that does wonders, no offense to anyone.
And I asked him to please give me some little ritualistic moment of "closure" before leaving. Just an "I'm putting you back into the other world now, you're still mine, lovely, but now you have to come up." And that helped SO much.

[the captians wench]

Originally Posted by Netzach

So, it's called re-gifting! Do it here!

Things that are different since the last time I would bottom to my Bull: I'm 34 not 26. Sorry, but I think that does wonders, no offense to anyone.
And I asked him to please give me some little ritualistic moment of "closure" before leaving. Just an "I'm putting you back into the other world now, you're still mine, lovely, but now you have to come up." And that helped SO much.

That right there is key for me. I just need something to get my head back in this space. Sometimes that means more than others, but as long as he's willing to put his toys back where he found them when he's done playing, then we're cool.

[Homburg]

A friend came over Tuesday and did some serious deep tissue work on my neck and shoulder girdle. My neck has been a trainwreck for weeks now (probably stress from, well, you know), and it took WORK. I was beat afterwards.

I was laying in bed about 30 minutes after she left and totally without warning I just felt miserable, lost, alone, and the whole events of tuesday morning with "w" came crashing back down on me. Pure fucking misery outta nowhere.

Deep-tissue massage drop. Ugh.

I've been thinking about this thread since then, and all the endorphins I had cruising in my system from the serious pain of the deep deep-tissue work she did.

[Netzach]

Originally Posted by Homburg

A friend came over Tuesday and did some serious deep tissue work on my neck and shoulder girdle. My neck has been a trainwreck for weeks now (probably stress from, well, you know), and it took WORK. I was beat afterwards.

I was laying in bed about 30 minutes after she left and totally without warning I just felt miserable, lost, alone, and the whole events of tuesday morning with "w" came crashing back down on me. Pure fucking misery outta nowhere.

Deep-tissue massage drop. Ugh.

I've been thinking about this thread since then, and all the endorphins I had cruising in my system from the serious pain of the deep deep-tissue work she did.

Yeah, I can totally see that happening.
The light fix of a good long walk can help keep the crash minimal. I make sure I do yoga the day after my date's over.