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Old 07-19-2013, 10:40 AM   #51
champagne1982
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Quote:
Originally Posted by todski28 View Post
There is no way that any one will mistake me knowing what I am doing
Hang around long enough and you'll get a feel for "knowing" what you like and that reflects on knowing what everyone else is doing . You will then be a know-it-all, or at least have been called one at least once. This is how we roll.
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:59 AM   #52
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Hang around long enough and you'll get a feel for "knowing" what you like and that reflects on knowing what everyone else is doing . You will then be a know-it-all, or at least have been called one at least once. This is how we roll.
..
guess it takes longer than a year. Champers, I turned on my avatars last week and looking at yours, I just gotta say, Damn!..
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Old 07-20-2013, 02:28 AM   #53
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yo, todski, forget the 10,000 things, poetry can be reduced to three things
Sound
Meaning
and Sight
sure they overlap, and sight is not that big of an issue
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Old 07-20-2013, 06:34 AM   #54
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Thamks for that 1201 I was actually having heart palpitations, and a partiazl brain embalism as it is, now I gotta learn 10, 000 things??? I was thinking fuck me gently with a chainsaw and call me done
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Old 07-20-2013, 03:40 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by todski28 View Post
Thamks for that 1201 I was actually having heart palpitations, and a partiazl brain embalism as it is, now I gotta learn 10, 000 things??? I was thinking fuck me gently with a chainsaw and call me done
fuck me gently with a chainsaw
...reminds me of a song
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Old 07-21-2013, 07:36 AM   #56
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Hmmm must be an interesting song. Read your poem three times got more on every read which still translated to not a lot. Read all comments then re read it it was pretty fucking good...... Once I got it. I'm starting to think that the writing of so many police incident reports has retarded my views in poetry at the moment, however I'm trying to unlearn it.

To champaign The very day someone calls me a know all I'll track you down and let you know that I finally made it
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Old 07-21-2013, 01:57 PM   #57
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Hmmm must be an interesting song. Read your poem three times got more on every read which still translated to not a lot. Read all comments then re read it it was pretty fucking good...... Once I got it. I'm starting to think that the writing of so many police incident reports has retarded my views in poetry at the moment, however I'm trying to unlearn it.

To champaign The very day someone calls me a know all I'll track you down and let you know that I finally made it
did I call it?
x amount of information, x being what you need to perform an alignment, reread what butters said in that code thread. Now that thing I asked you to read has a template which is a sort of form, it is rather common structure in comedy. There was about three other pages of material, that I did not even bother to write, now I did work like a bastard to align the story, and made up a hefty dose, what was given to me, goldenrod, a tiny path and micky mouse , hey this reminds me of new poems, which can get pretty dreadful.
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:14 PM   #58
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did I call it?.
Unfortunately just like most everything else around here I am having to be spoon fed my education, at least it is in comedic doses and not instruction manual format.
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Old 07-22-2013, 07:40 PM   #59
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Unfortunately just like most everything else around here I am having to be spoon fed my education, at least it is in comedic doses and not instruction manual format.
You asked for it. In an upcoming an ingeniously named Prose Poem rolls eyes, and this is cheap and easy, there are four sets of charterers (FDG and me count as one) don't worry if it doesn't make sense, and what I use is a cheap trick, but what I want you to learn is once you put something in, intertwine and finish it. Pay attention to the king he is in there for another reason (I dread this part) 1 and 2 and
I didn't do this for you, I just wanted to write uncoded prose (you really shouldn't think) for a change and make it as absurd as possible. And remember don't try any of the stunts I pull, I'm a trained professional...
jackass

one more thing, get in, do what you have to do, and get out. only once or twice did I ever get, "well I wanted more"

Last edited by twelveoone : 07-22-2013 at 07:56 PM.
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Old 07-22-2013, 07:55 PM   #60
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What are we reading?
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"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."- The Budda
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
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Old 07-26-2013, 09:41 PM   #61
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What are we reading?
Jabberwocky by a student of Joyce (or maybe Elvis).

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Old 07-26-2013, 10:19 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by darkmaas View Post
Jabberwocky by a student of Joyce (or maybe Elvis).

::
Caroll was a student of Joyce?
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"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."- The Budda
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
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Old 07-27-2013, 11:28 AM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkmaas View Post
Jabberwocky by a student of Joyce (or maybe Elvis).

::
such a waste of talent confined to a few short poems and inane posts,
i.e. I think I saw three of yours, no comments from you, nothing worth comments on over there? Are We (as in Queen Vicky) beyond that, now. Did We receive a laurel wreath or something, that you took off your head and you are resting on now gazing at cerulean skies?
Or are you another one of those, that wants to take issue with my comments, while leaving so little or your own?
I think I left something like 15, some with specifics, go disagree - at least that will give the writer something to think about.
It is work.
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Old 07-27-2013, 01:15 PM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkmaas View Post
Jabberwocky by a student of Joyce (or maybe Elvis).

Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
such a waste of talent confined to a few short poems and inane posts,
i.e. I think I saw three of yours, no comments from you, nothing worth comments on over there? Are We (as in Queen Vicky) beyond that, now. Did We receive a laurel wreath or something, that you took off your head and you are resting on now gazing at cerulean skies?
Or are you another one of those, that wants to take issue with my comments, while leaving so little or your own?
I think I left something like 15, some with specifics, go disagree - at least that will give the writer something to think about.
It is work.
Close, so very close. Right poet, wrong poem

"Just the place for a Snark!" the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.

"Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true."
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Old 07-27-2013, 04:02 PM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
such a waste of talent confined to a few short poems and inane posts,
i.e. I think I saw three of yours, no comments from you, nothing worth comments on over there? Are We (as in Queen Vicky) beyond that, now. Did We receive a laurel wreath or something, that you took off your head and you are resting on now gazing at cerulean skies?
Or are you another one of those, that wants to take issue with my comments, while leaving so little or your own?
I think I left something like 15, some with specifics, go disagree - at least that will give the writer something to think about.
It is work.
Sorry old boy. I didn't want to start a flame war. I was riffing (badly) on your previous post which contained:

Quote:
Pay attention to the king he is in there for another reason (I dread this part) 1 and 2 and
I didn't do this for you, I just wanted to write uncoded prose (you really shouldn't think) for a change and make it as absurd as possible. And remember don't try any of the stunts I pull, I'm a trained professional...
I thought you would be ... well pleased that someone read and understood your response to todski's query.

On the subject of reviewing, (either in the review thread or on individual posted poems) I no longer do it very often unless asked. Too many angry poets whose views of their own work did not mesh with mine. You must get the same sort of thing. Perhaps you are better at it than I or your skin is thicker.

Again a thousand apologies for raising your blood pressure.

darkmass.

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Old 07-27-2013, 04:37 PM   #66
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Sorry old boy. I didn't want to start a flame war. I was riffing (badly) on your previous post which contained:



I thought you would be ... well pleased that someone read and understood your response to todski's query.

On the subject of reviewing, (either in the review thread or on individual posted poems) I no longer do it very often unless asked. Too many angry poets whose views of their own work did not mesh with mine. You must get the same sort of thing. Perhaps you are better at it than I or your skin is thicker.

Again a thousand apologies for raising your blood pressure.

darkmass.

::
No apology needed, or perhaps I should to you. Misunderstood, that it was only a riff.
In my case I get it from both ends, so it is difficult to get out of gunslinger mode.
It is all a matter of perspective. Writers must realize it is the "view" (used both ways), that is the poem. Readers must realize that two steps over from their present place the "view" changes.
Yes, some people are not worth it, but that number is less than you think, I don't count the people that have a singular bad reaction, as not worth it, I understand that.
I get tired of the alt wars also. The alt posts, the anons.
As for raising my blood pressure, if someone doesn't I'd be dead.
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Old 07-27-2013, 07:12 PM   #67
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Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
No apology needed, or perhaps I should to you. Misunderstood, that it was only a riff.
In my case I get it from both ends, so it is difficult to get out of gunslinger mode.
It is all a matter of perspective. Writers must realize it is the "view" (used both ways), that is the poem. Readers must realize that two steps over from their present place the "view" changes.
Yes, some people are not worth it, but that number is less than you think, I don't count the people that have a singular bad reaction, as not worth it, I understand that.
I get tired of the alt wars also. The alt posts, the anons.
As for raising my blood pressure, if someone doesn't I'd be dead.
Well it was a bad riff. Both Harry and Bronzeage took me literally as well.

You ought to bury the gunslinger. He's doing you no favours. He's a crutch.

Burying is easily done on planet Cyberia. The ground is soft, the skies blue and the necessary paperwork is in rhyming couplets.


darkmaas.

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Old 07-27-2013, 07:29 PM   #68
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Burying is easily done on planet Cyberia. The ground is soft, the skies blue and the necessary paperwork is in rhyming couplets.


darkmaas.

::
screams
do you know I once said I never met a villanelle I liked, I think I saw one once (on literotica) it helped that it didn't announce the fact, and now I'm not sure I did.
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Old 07-29-2013, 04:24 AM   #69
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[quote=twelveoone;47315706].
It is all a matter of perspective. Writers must realize it is the "view" (used both ways), that is the poem. Readers must realize that two steps over from their present place the "view" changes.
QUOTE]

Here we have a gem of information that I am struggling with, by trying to explain every thing I'm on about so that there is no misinterpretation which tends to lead to long winded prose.
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Old 07-29-2013, 04:30 AM   #70
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screams
do you know I once said I never met a villanelle I liked, I think I saw one once (on literotica) it helped that it didn't announce the fact, and now I'm not sure I did.
I have seen this villanelle with your comments on it stating that very thing can't think where or who wrote it either. when you are trying to read as much as I have been lately all the azure skies, blend with the dappled drops of water, and the metaphors turn into migranes. Maybe that's why large simple men should stick to lifting heavy things hahaha
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:14 PM   #71
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I have seen this villanelle with your comments on it stating that very thing can't think where or who wrote it either. when you are trying to read as much as I have been lately all the azure skies, blend with the dappled drops of water, and the metaphors turn into migranes. Maybe that's why large simple men should stick to lifting heavy things hahaha
claymore or surgical knife, I'm comfortable either way
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:42 PM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by todski28 View Post
I have seen this villanelle with your comments on it stating that very thing can't think where or who wrote it either. when you are trying to read as much as I have been lately all the azure skies, blend with the dappled drops of water, and the metaphors turn into migranes. Maybe that's why large simple men should stick to lifting heavy things hahaha
The problem is the words, not the ideas. You use cliches, migraines tend to follow.

Try writing a good poem about the sea without using any cliches or even the words sea, ocean, wave, sand, beach or water etc.. That will take you interesting places when you find ways to make the meaning clear without what are basically crutch words, y'know? "Azure" is not a bad word in and of itself. You just have to find the right place for it and it's not where you usually think.
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Old 07-30-2013, 05:22 PM   #73
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The problem is the words, not the ideas. You use cliches, migraines tend to follow.

Try writing a good poem about the sea without using any cliches or even the words sea, ocean, wave, sand, beach or water etc.. That will take you interesting places when you find ways to make the meaning clear without what are basically crutch words, y'know? "Azure" is not a bad word in and of itself. You just have to find the right place for it and it's not where you usually think.
Big wet thing, that moves a lot,
you want some of this?
Show me what you got.
I'll shove you back to the abyss.

I've got seven ass kissing yes men.
they all say I can do it,
but I have to confess then,
I always knew it.

Cause you cannot refute,
never fuck with Old Canute.
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Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
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Old 07-30-2013, 05:30 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by bronzeage View Post
Big wet thing, that moves a lot,
you want some of this?
Show me what you got.
I'll shove you back to the abyss.

I've got seven ass kissing yes men.
they all say I can do it,
but I have to confess then,
I always knew it.

Cause you cannot refute,
never fuck with Old Canute.
You are a river to your people.
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Old 07-30-2013, 06:30 PM   #75
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Thanks for showing how it's done bronze! that is a really good exercise that i will try.
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