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Old 03-13-2016, 02:29 PM   #1
Stacy_TG
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Joking...or something more?

With regard to sexual innuendos..when is a joke just a joke...or is it something more?

So lately I've been getting to know this guy I work with. He's a nice guy, and we hang out on lunch break, etc., and lately he's been making jokes like right before lunch one day I said I was hungry and he said "I got a protein shake for you." Haha. He said a few weeks ago, that he's so desperate for a raise that he'd suck the boss off. He said it laughingly and jokingly. Things like that.

So as I've been getting more and more comfortable, I made a comment the other day about money being an issue, etc., and I said "Ya know, I gotta admit, I think I'd blow the boss for a raise too!" He looked over at me and said "You can suck me off if you want. You'd be the prettiest guy to suck my dick!"

So here's the thing, I can't tell if he's joking (because he's smiling and laughing), or if he's being serious.

He's confided in me that him and his girlfriend and not doing so well. He's working a ton of hours to try and get ahead and she wants to take a break. He seems lonely a bit more lately, and I gotta admit, he's kinda cute. He's also commented to me about guys being cute, but then he plays the "I'm not gay, and I'm confident in my sexuality but....is really good looking!"

So basically, are all these comments to me, is he making them in passing because he's joking around, or do you think there might be something deeper going on. I'll be totally honest, if he comes out to me with one more of his jokes, I'm going to reply with something like "Better stop offering!"

Because it's really tormenting me. I'd love to be with him. He's a really nice guy, but I don't know if he, ya know...would be "into" me...dressing like a girl in private, being transgender, etc.

I'd suck him off in a heartbeat if I had the chance. So my question is...how do I approach this? Do I just chalk it up to he's just making sex jokes/innuendos because he thinks that they're funny, or is he really potentially possibly interested in me?

More data: He's seen me in my short shorts in the summer and my shaven legs, and it's really obvious that I shave my arms, too...do you think he might "know" about me, and he's using his jokes to flirt with me?

I'm about this close to start making passes back at him. You know, like conveniently tying my shoe when we're in the elevator, then looking up at him when he's talking, etc.

What do you think, dear friends?
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Old 03-13-2016, 03:26 PM   #2
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Stacy, I think those jokes are an attempt to reach out and open up the line of communication. He wants sex but doesn't know how to ask for it, hence the jokes. I would suggest drinks after work, with more suggestions about how to get that raise!
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Old 03-13-2016, 03:29 PM   #3
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I agree with Todd - these types of jokes are like fishing. If you take the bait, things will likely escalate quickly.
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Old 03-13-2016, 03:30 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy_TG View Post
With regard to sexual innuendos..when is a joke just a joke...or is it something more?

So lately I've been getting to know this guy I work with. He's a nice guy, and we hang out on lunch break, etc., and lately he's been making jokes like right before lunch one day I said I was hungry and he said "I got a protein shake for you." Haha. He said a few weeks ago, that he's so desperate for a raise that he'd suck the boss off. He said it laughingly and jokingly. Things like that.

So as I've been getting more and more comfortable, I made a comment the other day about money being an issue, etc., and I said "Ya know, I gotta admit, I think I'd blow the boss for a raise too!" He looked over at me and said "You can suck me off if you want. You'd be the prettiest guy to suck my dick!"

So here's the thing, I can't tell if he's joking (because he's smiling and laughing), or if he's being serious.

He's confided in me that him and his girlfriend and not doing so well. He's working a ton of hours to try and get ahead and she wants to take a break. He seems lonely a bit more lately, and I gotta admit, he's kinda cute. He's also commented to me about guys being cute, but then he plays the "I'm not gay, and I'm confident in my sexuality but....is really good looking!"

So basically, are all these comments to me, is he making them in passing because he's joking around, or do you think there might be something deeper going on. I'll be totally honest, if he comes out to me with one more of his jokes, I'm going to reply with something like "Better stop offering!"

Because it's really tormenting me. I'd love to be with him. He's a really nice guy, but I don't know if he, ya know...would be "into" me...dressing like a girl in private, being transgender, etc.

I'd suck him off in a heartbeat if I had the chance. So my question is...how do I approach this? Do I just chalk it up to he's just making sex jokes/innuendos because he thinks that they're funny, or is he really potentially possibly interested in me?

More data: He's seen me in my short shorts in the summer and my shaven legs, and it's really obvious that I shave my arms, too...do you think he might "know" about me, and he's using his jokes to flirt with me?

I'm about this close to start making passes back at him. You know, like conveniently tying my shoe when we're in the elevator, then looking up at him when he's talking, etc.

What do you think, dear friends?
that is a tricky one ,he sounds as if he likes you but the question is how much .
his remarks are a little flirtatious and you could flirt back but he may only be joking because he is lonely and likes the company and wants you to know he is okay with who you are .take your time honey and really get to know him before you make any moves ,xo Lucy
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Old 03-13-2016, 03:31 PM   #5
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Stacy, I've never had good luck starting a relationship in the overtly sexual way that you are describing. I'd recommend waiting for someone who is attracted to you in more ways than your willingness to get them off.
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Old 03-14-2016, 10:59 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by bluesky496 View Post
that is a tricky one ,he sounds as if he likes you but the question is how much .
his remarks are a little flirtatious and you could flirt back but he may only be joking because he is lonely and likes the company and wants you to know he is okay with who you are .take your time honey and really get to know him before you make any moves ,xo Lucy
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Stacy, I've never had good luck starting a relationship in the overtly sexual way that you are describing. I'd recommend waiting for someone who is attracted to you in more ways than your willingness to get them off.
These post are good advice!
From what you say about his gf wanting time off leads me to believe he is looking just to get off.

Hate to see you get hurt, slow approach sounds good to me!


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Old 03-14-2016, 01:40 PM   #7
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These post are good advice!
From what you say about his gf wanting time off leads me to believe he is looking just to get off.

Hate to see you get hurt, slow approach sounds good to me!


melissa

I agree with others. It sounds to me like he just wants to get off, cum and go without any sort of commitment.
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Old 03-14-2016, 04:06 PM   #8
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If I'm joking around like that I'm usually serious because I usually make jokes when I like the people I'm around or am comfortable. If I make sexual jokes it usually means "I like you, please notice that I do because I suck at coming out and saying it."
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Old 03-14-2016, 04:30 PM   #9
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Count me amongst those who say, flirt back. He IS flirting. Some guys skills are bad at it.
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Old 03-14-2016, 10:56 PM   #10
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Oh Stacy Love. Yes flirt back but go slow and let him make the first really open move. I do not know the clubs in your are or if you and he ever stop off for a drink or dinner. In New Orleans I would suggest you see if he wants to go out for the evening and guide him to a place where dancing is acceptable or the norm. Have a few drinks and watch the people dance make a comment or two about dancing then if things seem right ask him if he would like to do a fast dance first. If he agrees stick with that and then if it seems right work in a slow dance. Let him take the lead. I have not been in the New Orleans scene in years bit I think Y Dinner can concur there are or were many clubs in the quarters and out by the lake where this was acceptable. Good Luck and hugs. Dear Friend.
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Old 03-14-2016, 11:18 PM   #11
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Yes, he wants to have some fun but seems like he isn't that sure how to ask for it.
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Old 03-15-2016, 05:28 AM   #12
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Also depends on if Stacy wants a serious relationship right now herself or just wants a fling. If the latter, a sort of fishing in return might not be bad....just don't rush right out into say, "I want....."

Well, you know why. Too many "trans panic" BS defenses and discriminatory legal codes in too many states. Grrrr.....

In the end, though, only you know what you really want, Stacy. Trust your instincts first. If they send off alarm bells, listen to them.
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Why can't we just agree that all people, male, female, genderqueer, gay, straight, bi, pansexual, black, white, etc. are simply human beings with the same basic human rights and the same obligation to be good citizens and treat their fellow people with respect? Call it egalitarianism, humanism, feminism, etc., whatever.....fuck the labels. Just be decent to each other, treat each other as you want to be treated, show respect, and don't be an asshole, okay?

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Old 03-15-2016, 09:42 AM   #13
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yes, suggest a drink somewhere after work. Somewhere away from work, no one from work and the 2 of you can talk. If you're as pretty as the pic, his girlfriend will be gone. But relationships with someone from work are sketchy.
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Old 03-18-2016, 09:59 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by SEVERUSMAX View Post
Also depends on if Stacy wants a serious relationship right now herself or just wants a fling. If the latter, a sort of fishing in return might not be bad....just don't rush right out into say, "I want....."

Well, you know why. Too many "trans panic" BS defenses and discriminatory legal codes in too many states. Grrrr.....

In the end, though, only you know what you really want, Stacy. Trust your instincts first. If they send off alarm bells, listen to them.
I want to be a wife, and I want to be a mommy.

</3

I just don't know how to tell him that. Part of me just wants to come out and tell him, "I'm transgender, and I want to live full-time as a woman, and I could be the love of your life." But I'm scared to death that he is just looking "for a fling".

Why does life have to be so goddamn complicated? None of this bullshit would be happening to me if I was born what I should have been born as.

I'm just so scared and angry and frustrated I just want to scream and then cry and then eat and then cry some more.

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Old 03-19-2016, 01:23 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Stacy_TG View Post
I want to be a wife, and I want to be a mommy.

</3

I just don't know how to tell him that. Part of me just wants to come out and tell him, "I'm transgender, and I want to live full-time as a woman, and I could be the love of your life." But I'm scared to death that he is just looking "for a fling".

Why does life have to be so goddamn complicated? None of this bullshit would be happening to me if I was born what I should have been born as.

I'm just so scared and angry and frustrated I just want to scream and then cry and then eat and then cry some more.

It's definitely unfair, but I'm pleased that you're holding it together as well as you have, and that you haven't rushed into anything that you don't want to do. If you want a more serious commitment/relationship, even a monogamous one (it's not for everyone, but it is for some people, and I respect your right to go for what you want in all aspects of your life), you might be better off either making that plain to him or leaving him alone. The last thing that you want is to have him think that you want a fling while you actually want marriage and family. That path only leads to your heart being broken again.

Either way, be true to you first of all. Don't settle for less than what you, Stacy, want with life. You're not obligated to give him anything if you don't wish to, and you can even things playfully uninvolved if you prefer that. Just don't give up. The sort of guy that you want does exist, I am sure.....whether this is the guy or not.

And chin up. Your friends here on Lit have your back.
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RIP Colleen "Colly" Thomas....we were fortunate to have known you, my dear friend.

In memory of Gabrielle...you've touched all of us, though we never got the chance to know you.

Gun control, because historians agree that disarming ordinary people to give politicians a monopoly on force is a great idea....for the political elites.

Why can't we just agree that all people, male, female, genderqueer, gay, straight, bi, pansexual, black, white, etc. are simply human beings with the same basic human rights and the same obligation to be good citizens and treat their fellow people with respect? Call it egalitarianism, humanism, feminism, etc., whatever.....fuck the labels. Just be decent to each other, treat each other as you want to be treated, show respect, and don't be an asshole, okay?

#I'llGoWithYou #NeverTrump

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=339478
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Old 03-25-2016, 09:29 PM   #16
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It's definitely unfair, but I'm pleased that you're holding it together as well as you have, and that you haven't rushed into anything that you don't want to do. If you want a more serious commitment/relationship, even a monogamous one (it's not for everyone, but it is for some people, and I respect your right to go for what you want in all aspects of your life), you might be better off either making that plain to him or leaving him alone. The last thing that you want is to have him think that you want a fling while you actually want marriage and family. That path only leads to your heart being broken again.

Either way, be true to you first of all. Don't settle for less than what you, Stacy, want with life. You're not obligated to give him anything if you don't wish to, and you can even things playfully uninvolved if you prefer that. Just don't give up. The sort of guy that you want does exist, I am sure.....whether this is the guy or not.

And chin up. Your friends here on Lit have your back.
I love you all for it. More than you know.



I'd like to approach him about it, but I'm not even sure how to start the conversation.

I did tell him the other day after another one of his "jokes".

"You better stop tempting me!"

He seemed a bit taken aback, but he did smile!

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Old 03-25-2016, 10:35 PM   #17
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Old 03-26-2016, 01:52 AM   #18
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I love you all for it. More than you know.



I'd like to approach him about it, but I'm not even sure how to start the conversation.

I did tell him the other day after another one of his "jokes".

"You better stop tempting me!"

He seemed a bit taken aback, but he did smile!

Nice to see that he was pleased by that. As for the other, hey, what are friends for?
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RIP Colleen "Colly" Thomas....we were fortunate to have known you, my dear friend.

In memory of Gabrielle...you've touched all of us, though we never got the chance to know you.

Gun control, because historians agree that disarming ordinary people to give politicians a monopoly on force is a great idea....for the political elites.

Why can't we just agree that all people, male, female, genderqueer, gay, straight, bi, pansexual, black, white, etc. are simply human beings with the same basic human rights and the same obligation to be good citizens and treat their fellow people with respect? Call it egalitarianism, humanism, feminism, etc., whatever.....fuck the labels. Just be decent to each other, treat each other as you want to be treated, show respect, and don't be an asshole, okay?

#I'llGoWithYou #NeverTrump

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=339478
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Old 03-31-2016, 12:09 AM   #19
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Stacy Dear, I have to ask this so please forgive me if I am making a mistake.

Does he have any idea of who you really are? If he already knows you are Transgender and you two have fun at work Then there should be no problem.

I think we all wish you had been born with the ability to have a baby, but I also think that we all love the Stacy you are.
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