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Old 04-18-2013, 11:23 AM   #1
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Questioned Truth in Fiction

The first comment out of the chute on a story of mine that posted today ("Amish Honeymoon Cruise" in the Mature category, written upon a [friendly] challenge by Slyc on the forum) leads me to see if others have examples of being challenged by a story commenter on precisely that part of a story that is based in fact. So, who else has examples from Literotica stories like mine, as follows?

In a forum discussion, I mentioned to Slyc of feeling inspiration for a story of some sort based on something that caught my attention during a recent Caribbean cruise. Upon arrival at the ship and waiting to get into my cabin, I observed a shy (and very attractive) Amish couple all decked out in Amish wear. Yes, they acknowledged to someone, they were on their honeymoon. Seemed strange considering what little I knew about the Amish. The next seven days, I occasionally see them dressed as minimally as all the other young people on the ship, gambling, attending the late-night risqué shows, drinking, laying out at the pool in next to nothing. Day of arrival back in port, there they are shy and in Amish dress again.

Discussion with Slyc on this forum on what direction to take a story inspired by these observations. Proposed were gay male and cougar. Since I write GM mostly under this account name, I naturally said I'd do cougar (Slyc might be doing GM or some other angle).

So, I research the Amish and come up with some really interesting myth-busting information on them--and write "Amish Honeymoon Cruise" covering some of this "here's what they really do."

And, of course, the first comment I get on the story is that the Amish don't go on honeymoon cruises.

Well, since an Amish couple on a honeymoon cruise is what inspired the story in the first place . . .

What amusing examples do others have?
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Old 04-18-2013, 12:14 PM   #2
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So far, I have yet to experience it myself, but it reminds me of this trope: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...yIsUnrealistic
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Old 04-18-2013, 12:18 PM   #3
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Most LIT readers have a pitiful fund of life experiences. Folks accuse me of pathological fabrications, yet I never make shit up. There's some weird shit out there roaming around in the dark.
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Old 04-18-2013, 12:53 PM   #4
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Most LIT readers have a pitiful fund of life experiences.
Some regular posters to the forum certainly do. (And I'm not referring to you.)
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Old 04-18-2013, 12:58 PM   #5
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So far, I have yet to experience it myself, but it reminds me of this trope: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...yIsUnrealistic
Yes (smile), I still do have an aluminum Christmas tree we put up in some corner nearly every Christmas--and that we had to use as our main one in Bangkok one year because Sears sent the one we ordered to Bangor, Maine.

And I often have people point to exactly what was fact in one of my stories as being too outlandish. Just a case of their world being a whole lot smaller than mine has been.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:02 PM   #6
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I had the opposite. Some of my one star reviews of my werewolf story on Amazon (and here, I think) said the werewolf just didn't behave like a real werewolf, he whined too much.

I presume they were basing their critique on real life experience .
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:14 PM   #7
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I had the opposite. Some of my one star reviews of my werewolf story on Amazon (and here, I think) said the werewolf just didn't behave like a real werewolf, he whined too much.

I presume they were basing their critique on real life experience .
I think your werewolves wouldn't whine so much if you didn't insist that they wear condoms.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:24 PM   #8
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I haven't gotten to my version of our friendly challenge yet, sr, but I do have a similar story that was based on what a friend of mine claimed to have happened to him. The story is Full Service (you can find it through my sig).

In the story, a young woman attempts to buy beer at a convenience store with a fake ID. The manager calls her out on it, and she suggests to "do something" for him in order to get the beer. That ends up being a blowjob under the counter. I describe the young woman as being Hispanic. At the end of the story, he asks her name, and she gives it as Jennifer (which, I think, was the only true part of my friend's tale).

One of the comments I got was, "you don't know too many Latinas, do you, Slyc? Not many of us are named Jennifer."

Okay, so I get that. But even if there was only one such woman named Jennifer, that would still make the story viable. Aside from that, I live in San Antonio, Texas. The majority in this city are Hispanic or Mexican, and I have met quite a few Jennifers. Besides, did this reader never hear of Jennifer Lopez?

The comment is still there, and has been rebuked by later comments. That's the part that really makes me laugh.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:28 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slyc_willie View Post
I haven't gotten to my version of our friendly challenge yet, sr, but I do have a similar story that was based on what a friend of mine claimed to have happened to him. The story is Full Service (you can find it through my sig).

In the story, a young woman attempts to buy beer at a convenience store with a fake ID. The manager calls her out on it, and she suggests to "do something" for him in order to get the beer. That ends up being a blowjob under the counter. I describe the young woman as being Hispanic. At the end of the story, he asks her name, and she gives it as Jennifer (which, I think, was the only true part of my friend's tale).

One of the comments I got was, "you don't know too many Latinas, do you, Slyc? Not many of us are named Jennifer."

Okay, so I get that. But even if there was only one such woman named Jennifer, that would still make the story viable. Aside from that, I live in San Antonio, Texas. The majority in this city are Hispanic or Mexican, and I have met quite a few Jennifers. Besides, did this reader never hear of Jennifer Lopez?

The comment is still there, and has been rebuked by later comments. That's the part that really makes me laugh.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:29 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaokoSmith View Post
I had the opposite. Some of my one star reviews of my werewolf story on Amazon (and here, I think) said the werewolf just didn't behave like a real werewolf, he whined too much.

I presume they were basing their critique on real life experience .
Although considering the hate piled on Twilight, it's not like this is a rare action... I admit, I'm guilty about arguing over what fictional creations are "really" like.

Honestly, though, history has so many weird coincidences and actions that it's really hard to argue that anything is unrealistic. A society of exhibitionists who fuck in public? The Mossynoeci. (I still think they could make for a good "ethnographic trip" type of erotica story... I can only imagine the culture shock an Athenian woman would face if she found herself there.)

Or what about the life of Agathocles? Born the son of a potter, spent time as a prostitute, became a soldier and a bandit, took over his city, and killed off the senate. When Carthage besieged Syracuse, he left the city with most of the army and attacked Carthage, forcing them to withdraw. Born the son of a potter, died a king.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:32 PM   #11
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Slyc, you had mentioned you might write up your part of this challenge to publish through eXcessica. If it turns out to be another variation on the Amish honeymoon cruise with connections to what I wrote, we could always publish it with eXcessica as a "variations on" duet. (I'm an eXcessica author too.) Just a thought.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:37 PM   #12
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Slyc, you had mentioned you might write up your part of this challenge to publish through eXcessica. If it turns out to be another variation on the Amish honeymoon cruise with connections to what I wrote, we could always publish it with eXcessica as a "variations on" duet. (I'm an eXcessica author too.) Just a thought.
Jeez, habu, I know you're on eXcessica. But that's not a bad idea. I suppose I'm just going to have to get to it. Since I seem to be at a lull in my murderous twins story, I think I'll work on that today.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:39 PM   #13
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Jeez, habu, I know you're on eXcessica. But that's not a bad idea. I suppose I'm just going to have to get to it. Since I seem to be at a lull in my murderous twins story, I think I'll work on that today.
At some point you might look at mine to determine whether you'd want yours connected to it. Mine's 11,600 words, so meaty enough for an eXcessica e-book.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:45 PM   #14
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At some point you might look at mine to determine whether you'd want yours connected to it. Mine's 11,600 words, so meaty enough for an eXcessica e-book.
11,600 words, eh? Is that another part of the challenge, then?
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Old 04-18-2013, 02:33 PM   #15
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11,600 words, eh? Is that another part of the challenge, then?
I'll have to think about that. Nothing snappy occurs.
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Old 04-18-2013, 02:48 PM   #16
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Just finished your story. I actually felt bad for Rachel at the end, and for Jeremiah in a way.
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Old 04-18-2013, 03:06 PM   #17
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Just finished your story. I actually felt bad for Rachel at the end, and for Jeremiah in a way.
Aw, they'll go back into the Amish community, and be happy within the Amish system (with the Rumspringa business being engrained in them as something separate and temporary), with the added twist that Jeremiah will make full use of what he's learned from Mona and they'll buck the trends (and each other) and have a dozen kids rather than the usual seven, using something more interesting than the missionary position (which, with a smile, they'll keep as their secret from the rest of their Amish community).

You can feel sorry for Mona, though. It's downhill for her from here. Oh, and you can feel sorry for Frank, who couldn't get it up long enough to get enjoyment out of it and isn't going to improve on that with time.

(I'll have an e-book out in May using the same cruise and a couple of the same background characters but with a GM theme: habu's Come Me Mr. Sax Man. The saxophone player just wafting through "Amish Honeymoon Cruise" is a central character in the book. I like using characters across stories like that.)
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Old 04-18-2013, 03:13 PM   #18
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Although considering the hate piled on Twilight, it's not like this is a rare action...
Let's be clear.. Twilight is awful. Terribad.

So I wrote a 2 parter in LW based on actual events that I chose not to act on.

Even the trolls reiterated what I knew would happen.

Funny how they got mad and bitter when I just wrote down the consequences I thought through.
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Old 04-18-2013, 03:20 PM   #19
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Aw, they'll go back into the Amish community, and be happy within the Amish system (with the Rumspringa business being engrained in them as something separate and temporary), with the added twist that Jeremiah will make full use of what he's learned from Mona and they'll buck the trends (and each other) and have a dozen kids rather than the usual seven, using something more interesting than the missionary position (which, with a smile, they'll keep as their secret from the rest of their Amish community).

You can feel sorry for Mona, though. It's downhill for her from here. Oh, and you can feel sorry for Frank, who couldn't get it up long enough to get enjoyment out of it and isn't going to improve on that with time.

(I'll have an e-book out in May using the same cruise and a couple of the same background characters but with a GM theme: habu's Come Me Mr. Sax Man. The saxophone player just wafting through "Amish Honeymoon Cruise" is a central character in the book. I like using characters across stories like that.)
Oh, I didn't think feeling bad for Mona was an option. Conniving bitch. It would have been interesting, if it was a different story, to see what would have happened had she not backed out of Randy's cabin.

I like that the sax player will be appearing in a different story. I have a few stories where I make references to others, but I've yet to use an actual character in more than one tale. But I've always liked the idea.
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Old 04-18-2013, 03:34 PM   #20
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Oh, I didn't think feeling bad for Mona was an option. Conniving bitch. It would have been interesting, if it was a different story, to see what would have happened had she not backed out of Randy's cabin.
I like Mona. She doesn't agonize over sex or morality. She has both lost and won in the sex wars and continues to be (and have) game. There's no evidence given that she damages people en route. She's going to give Jeremiah back, and he's going to be a better performer for it. (I tried to establish that Rachel likes sex with Jeremiah just fine once they get past the messy family situation--and will like it even better when Jeremiah returns with the education Mona's going to continue to give him for a while. If I did a follow up [which I won't do, because it would be too dull], Rachel would settle down when Jeremiah was up to snuff to do her with variety and without bitterness and got it established that they were going to pump out babies together that would be seen as his like the Amish want them to).

I often write unrepentant whore (usually using men under this account name, though) protagonists. It saves a lot of dramatically agonizing backstory.
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Old 04-18-2013, 04:22 PM   #21
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I like Mona. She doesn't agonize over sex or morality. She has both lost and won in the sex wars and continues to be (and have) game. There's no evidence given that she damages people en route. She's going to give Jeremiah back, and he's going to be a better performer for it. (I tried to establish that Rachel likes sex with Jeremiah just fine once they get past the messy family situation--and will like it even better when Jeremiah returns with the education Mona's going to continue to give him for a while. If I did a follow up [which I won't do, because it would be too dull], Rachel would settle down when Jeremiah was up to snuff to do her with variety and without bitterness and got it established that they were going to pump out babies together that would be seen as his like the Amish want them to).

I often write unrepentant whore (usually using men under this account name, though) protagonists. It saves a lot of dramatically agonizing backstory.
Mona was, for me, the most developed character in the story. She actually reminded me of an aunt of mine who had been married several times. A sort of victim/victimizer character, looking out for herself.

I'm about 1400 words into mine. The fun hasn't quite begun, yet. I'm thinking this story is going to turn out to be group sex, with both my husband (Abel) and wife (Ilse) jumping the fence with an older, experienced couple on the ship. Not quite sure how to end it, though I may borrow a bit from your ending.
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Old 04-18-2013, 04:43 PM   #22
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I'm about 1400 words into mine. The fun hasn't quite begun, yet. I'm thinking this story is going to turn out to be group sex, with both my husband (Abel) and wife (Ilse) jumping the fence with an older, experienced couple on the ship. Not quite sure how to end it, though I may borrow a bit from your ending.
Group sex would be good. In my research of the Amish, I kept coming up with myth busting on sexual activity--both premarital (they go out all night in a closed carriage while courting; what do you think they're doing in there?) and later (they have an average of seven children per family. Again, where did you think they came from?). And there's that Rumspringa period where they can sow their oats as much as they like as long as they do it in the world outside their Amish community (and don't come back if they don't think they can settle down in the community then).

So, a delicious taffy pull for me on this was the appearance of modesty and restraint, with a fairly open sexual attitude underneath--and openness on what they did as long as it was outside the Amish community.
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Old 04-18-2013, 04:57 PM   #23
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Group sex would be good. In my research of the Amish, I kept coming up with myth busting on sexual activity--both premarital (they go out all night in a closed carriage while courting; what do you think they're doing in there?) and later (they have an average of seven children per family. Again, where did you think they came from?). And there's that Rumspringa period where they can sow their oats as much as they like as long as they do it in the world outside their Amish community (and don't come back if they don't think they can settle down in the community then).

So, a delicious taffy pull for me on this was the appearance of modesty and restraint, with a fairly open sexual attitude underneath--and openness on what they did as long as it was outside the Amish community.
I ran into a lot of that myth-busting as well. It also helps that I once had a girlfriend from Ohio who, before she met me, dated an Amish boy during his Rumspringa. That was the first time I'd ever heard of it.

I'm going with the premise of Abel being older and recently returned from his Rumspringa, during which time he experimented quite a bit. Ilse is the "mostly innocent" type, but no virgin, who, after getting over the culture shock of life on a cruise ship, opens up. Literally. I'm still working in where the conflict would be, but I'm getting a sense of how it's going to end up.
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Old 04-18-2013, 04:59 PM   #24
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I'm going with the premise of Abel being older and recently returned from his Rumspringa, during which time he experimented quite a bit. Ilse is the "mostly innocent" type, but no virgin, who, after getting over the culture shock of life on a cruise ship, opens up. Literally. I'm still working in where the conflict would be, but I'm getting a sense of how it's going to end up.
There will be background commonality between the two then.
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Old 04-18-2013, 05:06 PM   #25
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There will be background commonality between the two then.
Yes, but the characterizations will differ quite a bit, I think.
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