Threesome with my wife

Hello. I have been married to my wife for five years. We know each other very well and we are comfortable sexually. We don't really have any boundaries, per se.

I want a threesome.

With another man.

I'd love the idea of watching her sucking & fucking another man, and fucking her while she's got her mouth full of dick. Only problem is, I have no idea how to breach this subject with her. Any suggestions? Anybody with any experience they'd like to share?

Thanks

OK, first things first: take a look at this thread as this is material that's been covered previously.

as a general rule: your best bet for such conversations involves talking with your SO in a non-sexual context about the subject in question and seeing how she feels about it.

a lot of folks are big into the fantasy but not necessarily the reality.

as someone who's done a MMF before, be sure that you want to hear your wife call out another man's name during sex. if this is a problem, the reality probably isn't for you.

there's really no way of knowing beforehand if the reality matches with the fantasy. but it's something you should think about it and insofar as you're able, something you should discuss with her.

in terms of how to broach the subject: the thread i linked should give you a few thoughts.

ed

You may have to watch a porno with her and bring it up during or something.

jamies20052 said:

I want a threesome.

With another man.

I'd love the idea of watching her sucking & fucking another man, and fucking her while she's got her mouth full of dick.

Click to expand...

This is all about you. Make an effort to get to know your wife, then you would have no need of asking such a question here.

Seriously - find out what makes your wife tick - find out her deepest desires, then ask if she would like to live out any of these fantasies.

If you don't know these things by now, ask yourself in what other areas are you failing to communicate in? Threesomes and moresomes require total trust and respect if you are to all come out the other side with smiles.

At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself what is more important, the happiness of your wife or your desire to see another erect penis? Work on your relationship and you may get both - if she asks for such an event.

When the idea stops being all just about you and starts to focus on your wife's desires and happiness you may get a chance to talk about it.

Funny how it goes

Just an observation...most seem to want to berate any man that dares to ask such a question as being selfish and not communicating. In another thread where a lady asked How To spice up her Vanilla husband, the replies were not near as critical.

Just wondering if anyone else noticed the double standard/hypocrisy??

Just my 2 cents....feel free to pile on/flame me in 3-2-1............

are you witnessing that behavior in this thread?

ed

Initiate a conversation about fantasies. Do it sometime when she is inclined to be open to a sexual discussion-perhaps when things are heating up between the two of you, or maybe while watching a sexy movie, or in the afterglow following some hot sex. Draw out her fantasies, see what secretly turns her on. When its your turn, throw out several ideas building up to your ultimate fantasy. Once you've let the cat out of the bag, don't push it. Go slow. If she doesn't get upset with the concept, you might have a chance of making it happen. If she has a fit you're better off letting it go and thinking about something a little more fame.

skytowner said:

Just an observation...most seem to want to berate any man that dares to ask such a question as being selfish and not communicating. In another thread where a lady asked How To spice up her Vanilla husband, the replies were not near as critical.

Just wondering if anyone else noticed the double standard/hypocrisy??

Click to expand...

Sorry, no. Not seeing it.

I don't believe suggesting someone communicate with their intimate partner about intimate things is berating or being critical.

I do however think that asking about spicing things up in the bedroom is on a different level than say, introducing an additional peni or vah-jine into the bedsheets.

One can be done subtly, with intensity and approach adaptable to the situation, and the ease and comfort level of partners taken into consideration. This may not even require preliminary discussion between coital parties.

The other should probably be discussed beforehand. Failure to do so would likely require much explaining, introductions and some awkward handshakes, and some strong feelings and emotions coming into play. All of which could have been avoided had the aforementioned communication taken place.

Rainshine said:

You said coital parties. *giggle*

I'm imagining genitals with hats and party poppers.

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Is it a formal do?



http://file4land.org/hb/posts/2010-05/1273738688_014.jpg

NightL said:

This is all about you. Make an effort to get to know your wife, then you would have no need of asking such a question here.

Seriously - find out what makes your wife tick - find out her deepest desires, then ask if she would like to live out any of these fantasies.

If you don't know these things by now, ask yourself in what other areas are you failing to communicate in? Threesomes and moresomes require total trust and respect if you are to all come out the other side with smiles.

At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself what is more important, the happiness of your wife or your desire to see another erect penis? Work on your relationship and you may get both - if she asks for such an event.

When the idea stops being all just about you and starts to focus on your wife's desires and happiness you may get a chance to talk about it.

Click to expand...

Yes, this is all about me. Clearly this is all about me. I'm the one who wants to do it. She might, I don't know, so in the meantime it's all about me. I'm not going to tie her down and force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. We have a healthy and adventurous sex life, but this subject has not been brought up. I just want to know if a lot of other couples out there do this or if it's unnatural or not normal. And if other people do this, how did you go about introducing the subject and how did she take it at first? Geez.

Does anybody have any helpful advice on helping me achieve my goal of seeing another erect penis pleasuring my wife at the same time as my erect penis? Let's assume for the sake of this exercise that my wife & I are happy and she loves me and we have good sex 3 or 4 nights per week.

skytowner said:

Just an observation...most seem to want to berate any man that dares to ask such a question as being selfish and not communicating. In another thread where a lady asked How To spice up her Vanilla husband, the replies were not near as critical.

Just wondering if anyone else noticed the double standard/hypocrisy??

Just my 2 cents....feel free to pile on/flame me in 3-2-1............

Click to expand...

Don't think this applies to silverwhisper's post - josh is on ignore (please don't quote him) - perhaps you are referring to me, so should have I continued writing in the style of

jamies20052 said:

I want a threesome.

With another man.

I'd love the idea of watching her sucking & fucking another man, and fucking her while she's got her mouth full of dick.

Click to expand...

? you know - to keep it all juicy and firm in hand.

Are you threatened at the concept of actually communicating with a partner? Are you also threatened with the very suggestion that a person should consider, respect and value their partner's right to have views on matters that may impact on health, safety and security, both physical and emotional.

Seems, these days, a few here are indeed displaying attitudes of being completely selfish in their views. "I want, I want, I want, how do I make her, convince him... but I only want answers in all juicy juicy glory detail, but don't you dare suggest that I should try to improve my communication skills with my partner".

I have had threesomes and moresomes - never had to convince or talk my partners into it. We ventured into these experiences together with a clear view, understanding and respect for each other's boundaries. While these occasions were never planned or indeed directly talked about we paid close attention to the most important part of communication - we listened to each other.

NightL said:

Don't think this applies to silverwhisper's post - josh is on ignore (please don't quote him) - perhaps you are referring to me, so should have I continued writing in the style of ? you know - to keep it all juicy and firm in hand.

Are you threatened at the concept of actually communicating with a partner? Are you also threatened with the very suggestion that a person should consider, respect and value their partner's right to have views on matters that may impact on health, safety and security, both physical and emotional.

Seems, these days, a few here are indeed displaying attitudes of being completely selfish in their views. "I want, I want, I want, how do I make her, convince him... but I only want answers in all juicy juicy glory detail, but don't you dare suggest that I should try to improve my communication skills with my partner".

I have had threesomes and moresomes - never had to convince or talk my partners into it. We ventured into these experiences together with a clear view, understanding and respect for each other's boundaries. While these occasions were never planned or indeed directly talked about we paid close attention to the most important part of communication - we listened to each other.

Click to expand...

Let me rephrase my original post:

Can somebody please be self-righteous and talk down to me on a f*cking sex forum after I ask a question about sex?

There is no secret method - no special technique - no persuasion, convincing required. You start by talking, then you listen carefully and respectfully.

It is as simple as that.

jamies20052 said:

I want a threesome.

With another man.

I'd love the idea of watching her sucking & fucking another man, and fucking her while she's got her mouth full of dick. Only problem is, I have no idea how to breach this subject with her. Any suggestions? Anybody with any experience they'd like to share?

Click to expand...

I shared

jamies20052 said:

Hello. I have been married to my wife for five years. We know each other very well and we are comfortable sexually. We don't really have any boundaries, per se.

I want a threesome.

With another man.

I'd love the idea of watching her sucking & fucking another man, and fucking her while she's got her mouth full of dick. Only problem is, I have no idea how to breach this subject with her. Any suggestions? Anybody with any experience they'd like to share?

Thanks

Click to expand...

jamies20052 said:

Let me rephrase my original post:

Can somebody please be self-righteous and talk down to me on a f*cking sex forum after I ask a question about sex?

Click to expand...

Sorry you haven't heard the magic answers, or at least the answers you only want to hear, that'll make Mrs. 20052 shuck her snuggies and get down with another knob to gobble while you roger her righteously.

The common suggestion in the posts, regardless of delivery, seems to be to just talk with your partner. Try, "Have you ever fantasized / thought of / considered having another dood in the bedroom with us?", and go from there.

Might I suggest you try the same approach you used here, only instead of "openly discussing" the ministrations of your prostate and B-Hole opening, you discuss another johnson joining jamie's peter for some three-way fun.

You may also want to spend some time here, and maybe even here for some info and ideas.

Good luck!

skytowner said:

Just an observation...most seem to want to berate any man that dares to ask such a question as being selfish and not communicating. In another thread where a lady asked How To spice up her Vanilla husband, the replies were not near as critical.

Just wondering if anyone else noticed the double standard/hypocrisy??

Just my 2 cents....feel free to pile on/flame me in 3-2-1............

Click to expand...

I'm not seeing it in this thread, but I did ask a similar question a few years back.

In general, I do think women are given more of a break than the guys are. But I also think it's partially due to the differences in the way men and women tend to phrase their posts. In general, a lot of men seem to write their OPs in a way that appear entirely self centered, regardless of their SO's feelings on the matter. While women seem to be perceived as seeking a more collaborative effort with their partners. That's my theory, anyway.

bailadora said:

I'm not seeing it in this thread, but I did ask a similar question a few years back.

In general, I do think women are given more of a break than the guys are. But I also think it's partially due to the differences in the way men and women tend to phrase their posts. In general, a lot of men seem to write their OPs in a way that appear entirely self centered, regardless of their SO's feelings on the matter. While women seem to be perceived as seeking a more collaborative effort with their partners. That's my theory, anyway.

Click to expand...

I agree with your reasoning above however my comment was merely an observation, nothing more. If a man posted "How to spice up my vanilla wife" then I suspect the reaction/advice would be quite different that a woman posting "how to spice up my vanilla husband".

The man is viewed as being selfish and not communicating with his partner (yes this reference it to you NightL) while a woman would be viewed as adventurous and trying to bring something "new" to the relationship.

skytowner said:

I agree with your reasoning above however my comment was merely an observation, nothing more. If a man posted "How to spice up my vanilla wife" then I suspect the reaction/advice would be quite different that a woman posting "how to spice up my vanilla husband".

The man is viewed as being selfish and not communicating with his partner while a woman would be viewed as adventurous and trying to bring something "new" to the relationship.

Click to expand...

I agree there's a good chance he's likely to be perceived that way. If you're at all interested in the whys and wherefores of this, the word "similar" is a link to that past discussion (just in case you aren't aware. If so, carry on!).

Why is it such an affront to some when the suggestion is made of actually getting to know your partner? Talking to them, listening to them along with respecting their opinion. Seems to me a fairly logical thing to do in a relationship.

skytowner, I am more than happy for you to pull up any gender bias in any of my posts. Google is usually a little better than the built in search.

Now how about the difference between someone posting "Our sex life has fallen flat lately, we have talked it through and would love some suggestions on how to spice things up. We have even discussed having a threesome but don't know how to go about it"
Compared to

jamies20052 said:

I want a threesome.

With another man.

I'd love the idea of watching her sucking & fucking another man, and fucking her while she's got her mouth full of dick. Only problem is, I have no idea how to breach this subject with her. Any suggestions? Anybody with any experience they'd like to share?

Click to expand...

Seems like the advice of actually talking with your partner and discussing issues has become a little unpopular these days. I've had experience and I shared. Good luck, however, with the "I'd love the idea of watching her sucking & fucking another man, and fucking her while she's got her mouth full of dick." approach. It is very endearing isn't it. I'm sure she would swoon and melt on reading those very words written of her. She is so lucky to have such a caring and considerate husband whose only desire is to see her mouth stuffed with dick.

I agree with the post of watching a threesome video with a few drinks inside her and then saying, "Hey that's hot. We should do that some day (with a few laughs)." Wait for her reaction.

NightL said:

Why is it such an affront to some when the suggestion is made of actually getting to know your partner? Talking to them, listening to them along with respecting their opinion. Seems to me a fairly logical thing to do in a relationship.

skytowner, I am more than happy for you to pull up any gender bias in any of my posts. Google is usually a little better than the built in search.

Now how about the difference between someone posting "Our sex life has fallen flat lately, we have talked it through and would love some suggestions on how to spice things up. We have even discussed having a threesome but don't know how to go about it"
Compared to


Seems like the advice of actually talking with your partner and discussing issues has become a little unpopular these days. I've had experience and I shared. Good luck, however, with the "I'd love the idea of watching her sucking & fucking another man, and fucking her while she's got her mouth full of dick." approach. It is very endearing isn't it. I'm sure she would swoon and melt on reading those very words written of her. She is so lucky to have such a caring and considerate husband whose only desire is to see her mouth stuffed with dick.

Click to expand...

Night L......I never once suggested you were prone to gender bias, I simply observed that when the OP asked the question he was "jumped on" by many including you for what he asked.

I completely agree that communication is of the utmost importance. To your comparison of the way 2 questions could be posed, not everyone is able to type out an articulate question and sometimes it can come off as selfish or poorly thought out. (For the record I think the OP typed what he was thinking....wife's mouth stuffed full of dick)

Once again I made an observation based on reading a LOT of posts and replies, nothing more, nothing less.

bailadora said:

I agree there's a good chance he's likely to be perceived that way. If you're at all interested in the whys and wherefores of this, the word "similar" is a link to that past discussion (just in case you aren't aware. If so, carry on!).

Click to expand...

I read the linked thread and totally agree with you!!

skytowner said:

Just an observation...most seem to want to berate any man that dares to ask such a question as being selfish and not communicating. In another thread where a lady asked How To spice up her Vanilla husband, the replies were not near as critical.

Just wondering if anyone else noticed the double standard/hypocrisy??

Just my 2 cents....feel free to pile on/flame me in 3-2-1............

Click to expand...

I've been around here a while and I do think that your observation is not inaccurate. However, as Carl Sagan said, "The absence of evidence is not the same thing as evidence of absence." Until you can point to several posts with nearly identical wording from both men and women where the responses were clearly more negative to the men's posts, then you just don't have enough to go on. It has been my experience that men and women describe their relationships and their relationship desires quite differently. Men tend to talk in terms of what they want for themselves while women tend to talk in terms of what they want for the relationship. This difference causes readers to react differently. We (in general, not just we who post here) tend to see selfishness as a negative character trait and respond accordingly.

So, how do you like being both right and wrong at the same time?

The internet has turned into a toxic waste dump of stupid people who think their opinions and/or words matter. These boards didn't used to be like a newspapers' comments sections, and people used to be able to feel comfortable talking about fucking on them. But. Here we are. Thanks to the reasonable people who responded. To NightL and others like you, why don't you run for office?

jamies20052 said:

I have no idea how to breach this subject with her. Any suggestions? Anybody with any experience they'd like to share?

Click to expand...

OK, I will try to focus solely on this part of your post. I have enjoyed threesomes and moresomes with three long term partners. Therefore I speak from experience. I will even throw in an opinion, your original post came across as completely self-centred. There was not the slightest bit of consideration for your wife in there in there at all. To support someone who wrote so strongly in terms of what they wanted done to their wife would be to support someone who is way too close to sexual violence, at least in thought. Would your wife appreciate your writing of her with such disregard? Invite her to join your thread, she will instantly get an idea of your intentions. You would not even need to talk, and that should suit as that very suggestion appears not to be what you wanted from this thread.

I will offer something for you to think about. If your marriage lasts and you manage to watch a daughter grow to adulthood, how would you react if you discovered her partner writing of what he wanted done to her in such a manner?

Your writing displays someone who is a long long way from understanding what sex can offer and the heights of enjoyment that can be gained. So, with "We know each other very well and we are comfortable sexually. We don't really have any boundaries, per se." then you should have no trouble in asking her to participate in this thread. If you don't dare, then you most certainly are not communicating anywhere near where you have to be for her to consider that a threesome would suit her desires.

If this thread or your writings here are hidden from your wife then ask yourself how much do you really know about her?

So back to my advice, if you can't write of your wife in a manner that her desires and your willingness to meet them are treated with the utmost of consideration and respect you will never ever experience a threesome unless you pay for professional services. Even then you will have no idea in the slightest of what it is like to share such an occasion with someone who you truly love and adore.

Communication - talk to her - learn totally what drives her sexuality and how you can heighten it to levels both of you have never dreamed, then and only then are you ready to bring up the idea of threesomes. Don't hide things, don't hide Literotica from her. Your wife should never be considered a vessel for which you and a buddy can masturbate in or on. Even if it is only in your fantasies, she deserves better.

If I got this all wrong, and you didn't want advice at all, but salacious writings of fucking and erect penises, then Emerson40 has already provided links for right here within Literotica where writing of these fantasies are encouraged.