Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > How To...

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 01-22-2013, 04:24 PM   #1
lizbeth7
Experienced
 
lizbeth7 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Middle of Nowhere in Illinois
Posts: 46
Sex only affair

I have been texting and chatting online with an ex from 15 years ago. We are both married and don't want to leave our spouses, just want some hot and wild sex that we aren't getting at home. We live about two hours from each other and are considering meeting up halfway. We have been exchanging some pretty suggestive and specific messages about what we would like to do to one another. Any advice for location for meeting, ground rules, etc? Have you done this before? How did it turn out for you? Thanks for the help!
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 04:48 PM   #2
arjunindia
Really Experienced
 
arjunindia is offline
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 155
Liz Beth

Make sure you ask him to host day time or times when both of ur spouses don't question you. Make sure you wear what he wants you to wear..... Make sure you have bareback for more pleasure. Also make sure that you tell him that u won't be able to meet him often if that what he wants from you. Make sure you have extra pair of clothes as well with panties. Make sure u don't leave love marks on each other which cannot be hidden.

Enjoy

Ron
__________________
I am Ron, 29 from India and now in suburbs of Chicago.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 04:55 PM   #3
jasper3738
Really Really Experienced
 
jasper3738 is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 461
Wink

Also take a shower but doesn't get hair wet
And cash only when paying for motel room
__________________
Flirting with my eyes
Devouring with my mind
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 05:03 PM   #4
bambikiller
Really Really Experienced
 
bambikiller is offline
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 390
Take the battery out of your cell phone if you have an I phone becuase they have a GPS in them.
Also might as well look in to a good devorce lawyer incase you fall in love, call your husband the wrong name, get that speeding ticket when you were down there and a thousand other things that can go wrong.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 05:20 PM   #5
lizbeth7
Experienced
 
lizbeth7 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Middle of Nowhere in Illinois
Posts: 46
We would meet in a town I go to often, so it wouldn't arouse suspicion for me to be there. I am aware there are things that could go wrong, but I'm willing to take the risk.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 05:25 PM   #6
bambikiller
Really Really Experienced
 
bambikiller is offline
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 390
I am aware there are things that could go wrong, but I'm willing to take the risk.[/quote]

You're willing he's willing then have fun just don't cry if you get caught.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 05:27 PM   #7
Eilan
Paid Internet Troll
 
Eilan's Avatar
 
Eilan is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: 'Murika! Fuck, yeah!
Posts: 9,827
Quote:
Originally Posted by arjunindia View Post
Make sure you have bareback for more pleasure.
I know, right? 'Cause nothing says romance like STDs or an unplanned pregnancy.
__________________
Too fucking cool for a sig.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 05:45 PM   #8
arjunindia
Really Experienced
 
arjunindia is offline
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 155
Also make sure that you carry your phone with you. Make sure once you are done with love making have a lunch or dinner in bed

Ron
__________________
I am Ron, 29 from India and now in suburbs of Chicago.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 05:51 PM   #9
Kitty_Schrödinger
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Remember condoms.
Don't eat garlic day before.
Use cash, withdraw few times in small amounts near home.
Oh, and think how you'd feel if it was your OH preparing to do what you're preparing to do.
Yeah, I've been in your shoes.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 06:23 PM   #10
Noor
In mourning...
 
Noor's Avatar
 
Noor is offline
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Svaha
Posts: 17,375
I predict some serious crashing and burning

~Cassandra
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 06:58 PM   #11
Emerson40
An evening spent dancing
 
Emerson40's Avatar
 
Emerson40 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: It's not where, but who you're with that matters
Posts: 2,071
Quote:
Originally Posted by lizbeth7 View Post
I have been texting and chatting online with an ex from 15 years ago. We are both married and don't want to leave our spouses, just want some hot and wild sex that we aren't getting at home. We live about two hours from each other and are considering meeting up halfway. We have been exchanging some pretty suggestive and specific messages about what we would like to do to one another. Any advice for location for meeting, ground rules, etc? Have you done this before? How did it turn out for you? Thanks for the help!

Wow Liz, there certainly are a great deal of ideas put forth to help you cheat on your husband. Most sound tried and tested.

Couple serious questions...
Is your marriage worth exerting half the planning and energy required for some extramarital dalliances and instead exploring why sex at home has dried up, and fixing whatever it is that has you reaching out to an ex?

You titled the thread “Sex Only Affair”. Is this because the affair will be a strictly physical thing only, and everything else in your marriage is tip-top?

I’m not judging or bashing here. Just trying to better understand your motivations, and comprehend the state of a marriage that warrants such risk and deception.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 07:08 PM   #12
adones520
Really Really Experienced
 
adones520 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: WEST COAST and in your thoughts
Posts: 493
i don't recommend it. everyone i know who cheats either gets caught or feels awful after. the texting and thoughts that you're having are whats hot. the sex will also be hot but what comes after will be that you cheated, you will feel bad, and forever you will have this secret. if you do plan on doing it and feel as if that's what you need right now do it with a total stranger you'll never see again and not a someone who might tell others that might be a mutual friend.
__________________

Last edited by adones520 : 01-22-2013 at 07:12 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 07:10 PM   #13
adones520
Really Really Experienced
 
adones520 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: WEST COAST and in your thoughts
Posts: 493
btw, bareback! terrible idea. stay safe as possible
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 07:37 PM   #14
lizbeth7
Experienced
 
lizbeth7 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Middle of Nowhere in Illinois
Posts: 46
Ok, to reply to a few, yes, I have been cheated on before and know what it is like.

Yes, Emerson, it's a sex only affair in the fact that neither of us would be looking for more out of it. Yes, there are problems in my marriage, but we are working through those. Sex at home hasn't dried up, but it's not as great as I would like. Part of that is due to my husband's weight gain, the other half due to some of the problems we have that make me not want to have sex with him. We still have sex, but I would like for it to last more than 15 minutes.

Adones - we live far enough apart that there really aren't any mutual friends, and neither of us want to get caught, so we aren't going to go blabbing.

And I agree that the texting and chatting is hot. I think both of us are just looking for some hot, hard sex. That's why I think after a few times it will be over when the novelty of it is gone. But I want to enjoy it while I can, because I can. It may be a horrible idea and I may crash and burn, but I may not, and I'm willing to live with the knowledge of what I've done.

Oh, and I agree, bareback is a terrible idea.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 08:00 PM   #15
MsQuote
Polite Depraved Dame
 
MsQuote's Avatar
 
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 1,404
Think about what you would do and what would happen if you got caught. As unsexy as it sounds, this was something my lover and I discussed before we got together.

I got caught the first and only time. Divorce was inevitable, but this wasn't the way I wanted it to happen. I didn't want my ex catching me first. He didn't deserve that kind of bombshell. He did a pretty good job at airing my/our dirty laundry to my friends, family and anyone else who would listen. Luckily, he didn't discuss it with our kids.
__________________
MsQuote

http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com
Erotic Stories - Pleasures in Photography - Relationship Ramblings - Seductive Soundtracks - Seriously Sexy Fun

A Masterful Seduction by the Book, Taking Flights, Taking Rides , and A Good Woman's Dirty Mind available at Smashwords

Stories on Literotica
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 08:07 PM   #16
Hosebloke
Literotica Guru
 
Hosebloke's Avatar
 
Hosebloke is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 578
If he has cheated on you , then it's the green light for me . Go for it and enjoy and do it that hard and long you come back walking like John Wayne
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 09:32 PM   #17
amofiga
Literotica Guru
 
amofiga is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Eastern USA
Posts: 1,395
Interesting are the words of advice and planning that have been offered. Lots of people who have "been there done that" I suppose. When I was doing such things, I made sure I employed them all. I was super careful, I thought. I also made sure I had a credit card that was linked to a post office box rather than to my home address. Most places other than flea bags won't rent you a room without identification and/or credit card swipe when you check in. Trouble is, since 9/11, lots of better class places also want a second form of ID like a drivers license which they will copy. Leaving a paper trail is something I certainly never wanted to do. Assuming an "afternoon delight" meeting, I made sure I paid cash to the motel/hotel when checking out on the same day to avoid letting bills be sent anywhere if possible. When checking out of a room 3 hours after checking in, be prepared to get sideways looks from motel clerks.

Here's the problem. Despite successful affairs with married women who could compartmentalize the "sex" from their marriages and children and despite the fact that those (except the last one) were on the same "uncomplicated affair" sheet of music I was, there was a hiccup. The last one got possessive, obsessive, and overly emotionaly invested and decided to spill the beans to her husband and my wife to "get even with me" for wanting to end it. She turned out to be much more emotionally unstable than anticipated or as shown by initial agreement. It nearly ended the marriage and cost a lot in legal fees when I had to take her to court for subsequent harrassment and a knife attack plus lots of marriage counseling fees.

Bottom line, if you are still hung up on your ex from high school or somebody else you meet, keep it as a nice fantasy unless you're prepared to pay the price in hurting your spouse and keeping the lawyers and therapists in business. If you are truly unhappy with the sex in your marriage, try counseling or sex therapy. If you're still unhappy and really want out, consider an amicable divorce, and then do what you want with the rest of your life without guilt. Just what I found out the hard way....... for what it's worth.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-22-2013, 11:20 PM   #18
njlauren
Literotica Guru
 
njlauren is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,273
You are an adult and can what you wish, but I agree with amofiga that having sex outside the marriage might sound tempting, but it rarely is what you think it will be. I more then understand and sympathize about not feeling happy about your sex life with your husband, I know what that is like, I faced something similar for a lot of years with my wife. I also understand that texting and IM'ing and chatting can be hot (long before there was texting, there were online chat forums and such back in the pre internet BBS days, early AOL, Compuserve, etc). The problem is it is so hot when we are texting and IM'ing and such, it is our own little world, and as such the consequences don't seem to be there.....which can lead towards really wanting to do something.

The problem is that often is what they call being compartmentalized, it is where you have this other world you create and because it is, the rules don't apply, you don't feel the guilt, because this 'doesn't matter' or whatever (been there, done that..). Problem is, once you meet, it is likely the 'compartmentalization' will stay, and it may well be very hot sex (could be a dud too, like the cool guy you thought you once knew turns out to be a troll who can't last 15 minutes....)....but then reality is going to crash in, and it isn't pleasant. Keep in mind with this guy what you have are memories from years ago, and that is kind of a fantasy, too, because we aren't what we were back then, few people are.

Your words speak to me as someone compartmentalized, it won't affect the marriage, it is just sex, it has nothing to do with the marriage, and ask yourself, if someone else said something like that about getting high all the time, or cheating on their spouse, or scarfing down a whole cake and then saying it is no big deal because I am going to throw it up, I suspect you would look at them a bit askance.....

I don't know your story, but you allude to the fact that you have been cheated on. If it was hubby that did it, could your problems with sex, and even the desire to cheat, be some sort of subconscious payback for what he did? If so, then maybe rather then plan a tryst with your ex like this, you should be working with someone on that.

Like I said, I more then understand what can drive someone to do this kind of thing, I know what it is like to have a marriage that has love but little sex, with a spouse who has let themselves go, or not on the same page sexually, and all I can tell you from my experience is that though mine was mostly virtual, online fooling around, etc, it isn't a replacement for having it in your primary relationship, and yes, the guilt is there once you have done things, it will be there, I promise you, as much as it may not seem so now. If your marriage has issues in it, as much as you think it won't, that guilt is going to create new emotional walls, which your spouse could pick up on. If you guys have been having issues already, he will probably already be sensitive to changes.

The other thing I would worry about is this is not some guy you met someplace and have a fling with, this is someone you once had feelings for, and that is dangerous, too. As Amofiga said about his own experience, what we assume is a no strings kind of thing can become something we don't want, and it is a lot more likely your will develop something more then having an itch you need scratched if this is someone you once had feelings for.

My take? Spend the time and effort you will have to do in meeting your ex on working on your marriage, get him into couples counseling/sex therapy, find a way to get him to take better care of himself (never hurts to go to the gym together, it is motivating) and work on it that way. If you love your husband, then make the effort to make it work would be my advice. Put it this way, if you have your fling with your ex, it burns out as you think it will, what will have changed? You may have had some hot sex, but in the end, it is your husband you will be spending the time after with, and what kind of fun will it be to have hot sex and then come back to what you describe as being blah? Work on him, and you may be able to have hot sex without having to go to a hotel an hour away, play cloak and dagger (though that can be fun with your husband, pretend to be having an affair, only ya don't have to worry about the credit card receipts).

I could give you all kinds of advice about how to avoid him knowing (like having a prepaid cell with text on it so it doesn't show on your cell phone statement that he may be able to see, if you are on a shared plan), but odds are he will suspect or find out no matter what you do IMO, so I wanted to offer an alternative.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 08:33 AM   #19
408w
Experienced
 
408w is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 73
Sexting and chatting I always hit and intense, first just meet to get a cup of joe an see how it goes, after that if you think you can still do it go for it!

As much as you crash and burn if he did it to you then it's just your turn.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 08:44 AM   #20
carlg111901
Really Experienced
 
carlg111901 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by lizbeth7 View Post
I have been texting and chatting online with an ex from 15 years ago. We are both married and don't want to leave our spouses, just want some hot and wild sex that we aren't getting at home. We live about two hours from each other and are considering meeting up halfway. We have been exchanging some pretty suggestive and specific messages about what we would like to do to one another. Any advice for location for meeting, ground rules, etc? Have you done this before? How did it turn out for you? Thanks for the help!
My only advice is don't come to lit and make a post asking for advice. You quickly stir up the "moral police" who will tell you why its wrong and that you're a terrible person for cheating and blah blah blah. Be safe, have fun, stay discrete about it, and ignore the people on here telling you how to live your life.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 11:20 AM   #21
pepstreebeck
Really Experienced
 
pepstreebeck's Avatar
 
pepstreebeck is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: South shore, Massachusetts
Posts: 231
You two just can't cam?
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 11:47 AM   #22
justherhusband
Really Experienced
 
justherhusband is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 162
Quote:
Originally Posted by carlg111901 View Post
My only advice is don't come to lit and make a post asking for advice. You quickly stir up the "moral police" who will tell you why its wrong and that you're a terrible person for cheating and blah blah blah. Be safe, have fun, stay discrete about it, and ignore the people on here telling you how to live your life.

I'm confused. Is she supposed to do as you say and have fun, or is she supposed to ignore you telling her what to do?
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 01:19 PM   #23
carlg111901
Really Experienced
 
carlg111901 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by justherhusband View Post
I'm confused. Is she supposed to do as you say and have fun, or is she supposed to ignore you telling her what to do?
Both
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 04:33 PM   #24
OutofTune
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I'm not the moral police and will leave that part alone.

Even with the best laid plans things don't always go the way we expect. You have a history with this man, and I assume that history is more than sexual - you may both have the best intentions of keeping everything sexual this time around...but 'feelings' can creep in at the strangest times.

You set your boundaries and you swear you won't cross them...some months later you wake up and your heart has other ideas - two years later and....

Be careful.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 05:15 PM   #25
Bramblethorn
Mallory Heart Surgeon.
 
Bramblethorn's Avatar
 
Bramblethorn is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia (occasionally USA)
Posts: 2,683
Quote:
Originally Posted by carlg111901 View Post
My only advice is don't come to lit and make a post asking for advice. You quickly stir up the "moral police" who will tell you why its wrong and that you're a terrible person for cheating and blah blah blah. Be safe, have fun, stay discrete about it, and ignore the people on here telling you how to live your life.
"Staying discrete" is exactly what the "moral police" are recommending here :-)
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:11 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.