Wife wants to explore BDSM lifestyle...

[whitegloves]

I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 24 years- She is the love of my life. She wants to explore many different aspects of BDSM such as: spanking, rope play, pain, and mainly wants me to order her to pleasure me as well as "train" her to submit to me. I am embarrassed to admit, but I do not know the get thing about how to go about doing these things. Where do I begin? We have talked about this for several years and had some play in the bedroom spanking, tying her up, and even using clothes pins because she wanted to experience some pain( gets her so wet and excited) anyhow I feel like such a newbie in this realm since I have NEVER discussed it with anyone else. We have for the most part been very vanilla in our bedroom but want to grow together even more after all these years. Any suggestions (I have read through MANY of the postings) would be greatly appreciated. Please feel free to PM me or post to thread. Thank you...

[whitegloves]

Thank you all for your suggestions. Feel free to PM if anymore ideas come to mind.

[Stella_Omega]

As always, I recommend "the new topping book," "the new bottoming book," and "screw the roses, send me the thorns"

These books give you tips on physical play, and also talk a lot about the psychological consequences and how to have wonderful fun with them...

[satindesire]

Originally Posted by Stella_Omega

As always, I recommend "the new topping book," "the new bottoming book," and "screw the roses, send me the thorns"

These books give you tips on physical play, and also talk a lot about the psychological consequences and how to have wonderful fun with them...

Stella got to it before I could. The books recommended above are wonderful "Why Fors" instead of your usual "How To" book and will help demystify and destigmatize the desire for BDSM play and give you some insight into how Tops and Bottoms minds work.

One of the hardest things for vanilla people to do is to wrap their heads about "Why" instead of "How". "How" is easy, it's the "Why" we're always chasing. The books can help. Get them, they're cheap and interesting.