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Old 02-16-2013, 01:55 PM   #1
wonderingstar
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What was the most arousing thing that a sub or masochist ever done for you?

I just want to understand more about BDSM and I was just wondering
how to do that and come up with this question.
Please if you would be so kind and help me to solve this puzzle.

Last edited by wonderingstar : 02-16-2013 at 02:49 PM.
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Old 02-16-2013, 02:00 PM   #2
laurasunshinegal
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Red face

i think that for me it was the first time my future husband spanked me. i thought it was going to be a few playful swats... but it wasn't. it was him truly punishing me--and setting the pace, making it clear who and what he was, and showing me how i fit into it all. it left me crying and absolutely aroused beyond belief!
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Old 02-16-2013, 02:47 PM   #3
wonderingstar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laurasunshinegal View Post
i think that for me it was the first time my future husband spanked me. i thought it was going to be a few playful swats... but it wasn't. it was him truly punishing me--and setting the pace, making it clear who and what he was, and showing me how i fit into it all. it left me crying and absolutely aroused beyond belief!
Thank you for your answer.
Your answer made me think. Could you tell me why did you cry if you liked it?
Was it painful to the point that you could barely stand it or was it something else?
I have never had a chance to experience that so please don't mind me asking you that.
I just want to know more and understand more.

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Old 02-16-2013, 03:07 PM   #4
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I think you mean; "Done FOR you."
masochists are done unto, sadists do to. So the most arousing things that subs, bottoms and masochists can do is react perfectly to what I do to them.

The girl who stood like a rock for me, tears and snot running down her face while I whipped her legs and pussy, and then said; "Thank you, Master Stella," and dropped to her knees and ate me like a champ.

Or the girl who giggled, blushed bright red and complained "Why are you making me DO this!" while she sat on the toilet, legs spread -- pissing into my hand.

The answer was; "Because I want to."

Since I switch, I have learned many lessons from the women who bottom for me, in how to be a more enjoyable bottom for my tops.
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Old 02-16-2013, 04:03 PM   #5
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I know I wrote it wrong. I was trying to fix it when I realized my mistake but I fail.
And thanks again for every thing because at times I just want to give up and just live on my vanilla life despite my feelings but people like you give me courage to not just forget all about it and keep on persisting to find out if we might enjoy this together.
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Old 02-16-2013, 04:40 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wonderingstar View Post
I know I wrote it wrong. I was trying to fix it when I realized my mistake but I fail.
And thanks again for every thing because at times I just want to give up and just live on my vanilla life despite my feelings but people like you give me courage to not just forget all about it and keep on persisting to find out if we might enjoy this together.
Yes, unfortunately, we can't change thread titles once they've been posted.

I don't have any good advice for changing a marriage, I wish I did.
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Old 02-16-2013, 11:04 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wonderingstar View Post
Thank you for your answer.
Your answer made me think. Could you tell me why did you cry if you liked it?
Was it painful to the point that you could barely stand it or was it something else?
I have never had a chance to experience that so please don't mind me asking you that.
I just want to know more and understand more.
i'll answer your questions in reverse. it was not so painful that i could barely stand it--though it did hurt quite a bit. i cried because the pain and the man causing it made something inside me melt, made me realize that what was going on wasnt a kink or a game or about pushing the envelope. it was about me fitting in, like i had come (metaphorically) home, like now things made sense.
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Old 02-17-2013, 01:04 PM   #8
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Thanks.

I hope I'll get a chance to experience something similar to that.

Be well!
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Old 02-17-2013, 01:36 PM   #9
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Old 02-17-2013, 05:20 PM   #10
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Kissing my feet as if he were kissing me goodbye for a year at an airport.

Handing me a singletail given to me for my birthday and offering up his nuts for it (I demurred as I'm not THAT good!)

Telling me to spank her and putting her ass in the air when she's "bedroom ONLY" and it's because she infracted and feels that guilty anyway.
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Old 02-18-2013, 10:58 AM   #11
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This is a really great question.

My take on the question itself is probably a little different to a lot of other people's... I have never been of the view that BDSM is about someone overpowering someone else, or someone 'dominating' someone else and having that person do just whatever they are told to do and just 'because.'

I mean - it can be like that... But then if it is 'just' that then you are getting caught up in the plain old hard necessities of human sexual drives and two people are merely interacting to fulfil plain old simplistic sex needs and the 'submissive' in that circumstance is generally 'putting up' with another person's mindless selfish or one-sided demands in order just to experience some level of intimate sensation. Which is okay enough as far as it goes - and it does often enough happen along those lines.

To me you can characterise things as 'BDSM' as much as you want and try to force it all to fit into a definition because one party 'dominates' and the other 'submits' or 'receives...'

"The most arousing thing..." See that's the important thing. I mean I've heard this argument till the cows come home about there being no such thing as 'TRUE' BDSM... However I have yet to hear the case for how it is possible for someone to know or understand or even experience complete arousal from the other UNLESS THEY COMPLETELY LIKE THE OTHER PERSON.

So for me, the very first thing is that in order for people to be involved in the ultimate kinds of BDSM, both sides have to like people, like themselves, be likeable, like and embrace life itself - and then things may proceed into techniques and behaviours and acts and so on and then arousal is going to be a very full experience.

I don't really care whether a person is functionally a dom or a sub, or comes across as a dom or a sub/ a sexual dom or a sexual sub/ or even just a dominant personality or a submissive-natured personality on the surface. I do care about just about every other thing about them, and all the attractive elements of them and their personality.

I think it's important to have a really good sense about the other person before you let them behave in an intimate way with you either as a dom OR a sub.

But frankly, if you're asking exactly what people do that is arousing in an action sense, rather than stuff to do with all that background of how I would even get close to allowing them to have anything intimate to do with me, then - okay, lordosis is the most arousing physical reaction to observe.

If that person trusts you enough - and for me I'd want it to be on that basis rather than 'merely' a sex encounter - to allow themselves to really let go and exhibit the full and complete range of virtually involuntary sexual behaviours when THEY are undergoing extreme arousal, then it is arousing to me. And that kind of trust can permit things to go on and on for days and weeks in a semi-permanent state of high sexual and at minimum ultra-sensual feeling. And even a phase of relaxation after that can be rewarding in its own way.

The overwhelming emotions that can well up and which include convulsions, tears, extreme orgams, pain tolerance, are for me really only validated at the level I want to prize and make a kind of target or object of the 'events,' as it were, when there is an enormous basis of trust behind it all to begin with. So to some extent I'd really prefer the other person to say 'oh I think you are incredibly attractive,' and I would like to be able to say the same thing back. Now for me personally that is not necessarily so impossible an objective because I have quite a broad range of types of people that I find attractive!! And these people are not always the commercial advertising world's idea of what constitutes 'an attractive-looking person.'

Last edited by Desiremakesmeweak : 02-20-2013 at 09:39 AM.
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Old 02-18-2013, 03:02 PM   #12
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Desiremakesmeweak, I am glad that you are so principled in your play.

But are you sure you posted in the right thread?
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Old 02-18-2013, 05:48 PM   #13
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:47 PM   #14
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Getting me to the point of being incapable of distinguishing between desire and fear...
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Old 02-18-2013, 11:34 PM   #15
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Okay, this is gonna get into fucked-up-relationship territory, but it's the first thing that came to mind. The most arousing thing (anyone) has ever done to/for me was one late night when I was on the phone with my ex, we were flirting back and forth, and then suddenly she spoke in this low growl and told me how she was going to randomly show up at my door someday soon and whip my ass until I begged for mercy... And then push me a little farther.

A number of reasons why words that common in bdsm is my most arousing thing: She knew my preferences but we had never acted on it at all, so for her to be talking that way in the first place was just omg-so-hot. She lived four hours away and was freely dating other people (I said she was my ex. She was my ex when this happened), and yet she was damn serious about showing up here and giving me exactly what I needed.

It never happened, mostly because of the horribly toxic nature of our overall relationship, but it still makes me shiver thinking about it.
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Old 02-24-2013, 06:57 AM   #16
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Hi.
Thank you so much for shearing your stories with me.
It really helps me see things from a lot of different prospectives.
It helps me learn about bdsm relationships.
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Old 02-24-2013, 01:21 PM   #17
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What was the most arousing thing that a sub or masochist ever done to you?
he gave me a pair of gloves with needles/spikes all over their palm sides as gift and wanted his private parts to be treated with them. That was an amazing session.

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Old 02-27-2013, 02:20 AM   #18
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That was really something.
I am happy that relationships in bdsm could even be more opened and even more nurtured, deep and sometimes even more solid that vanilla one.
It seems to me that since we have to be more open and have to communicate to realize our desires and make them come true the relationship becomes stronger and more fun.
I am not saying that this is not possible in vanilla relationship it should be but for example I have a great vanilla relationship and I wasn't letting out my bdsm (submissive) side of me. Now I am trying to do that. I still have communication problems but our sex is becoming more alive and passionate. I feel much more vulnerable and exposed but at the same time I feel much more happy and available to my partner to deal with me how he wants.
He wasn't into this but I reviled this and we are exploring.

Thanks for your messages.

Last edited by wonderingstar : 02-27-2013 at 02:23 AM.
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:55 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wonderingstar View Post
I just want to understand more about BDSM and I was just wondering
how to do that and come up with this question.
Please if you would be so kind and help me to solve this puzzle.
For me? Messaging me, out of the blue, to tell me how much they missed being tormented by me.

(I tend to do most of the seducing, and that occasionally leads to insecurity - is she just going along with this for my sake? So it's nice to get the feedback.)
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:24 AM   #20
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Hot candle-wax being dripped down my back and the candlestick being inserted inside my pussy will be hard to top.
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Old 02-27-2013, 10:28 AM   #21
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Hot candle-wax being dripped down my back and the candlestick being inserted inside my pussy will be hard to top.
I'm sorry, but my first thought was, "I hope he blew the candle out first!" (I'm afraid my thinking is a little more twisted in the morning than once I'm fully awake.)
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Old 02-27-2013, 10:39 AM   #22
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I'm sorry, but my first thought was, "I hope he blew the candle out first!" (I'm afraid my thinking is a little more twisted in the morning than once I'm fully awake.)
I was gonna say he blew the candle out first, but I figured everyone would get that.
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Old 02-27-2013, 11:12 AM   #23
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Hot candle-wax being dripped down my back and the candlestick being inserted inside my pussy will be hard to top.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir_Winston54 View Post
I'm sorry, but my first thought was, "I hope he blew the candle out first!" (I'm afraid my thinking is a little more twisted in the morning than once I'm fully awake.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chellbarr View Post
I was gonna say he blew the candle out first, but I figured everyone would get that.
I guess the reason for my thought - and post - was a German "BDSM" video I saw some years back that included the insertion of a lit candle (wick end first) into a crying, screaming woman's vulva. That was within the first 30 seconds or so of the more than 20-minute video, but all I saw of it.
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Old 02-27-2013, 12:55 PM   #24
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Taking Her To A Motel..

where within 10 second of getting into the room she was on her knees sucking my cock. Looking up at me it was impossible not to cum in her mouth, and watch her swallow every drop.
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Old 02-27-2013, 02:18 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir_Winston54 View Post
I guess the reason for my thought - and post - was a German "BDSM" video I saw some years back that included the insertion of a lit candle (wick end first) into a crying, screaming woman's vulva. That was within the first 30 seconds or so of the more than 20-minute video, but all I saw of it.
Now, there's something to put on the list of hard limits.
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