And along with the *Stellar* advice above (I crack me up sometimes!), I like to suggest that partners, especially those new to the BDSM culture/activities, actually sit down together and discuss the things that turn them on, that leave them going, "Ho-hum," that squick them the hell out.
The usual way I suggest that is: "Communicate. CoMmUnIcAtE. COMMUNI-freakin'-CATE!" It's vital to any relationship. Not just BDSM relationships, all of them, but especially where one (or both) is(are) doing things that have the potential to cause damage (not just red handprints on butt flesh, but deep muscle bruising, cracked/broken bones, injury to internal organs, etc., up to and including the ultimate damage: death) to the other. You both need to know exactly what page the other is on, and you both need to trust one another implicitly. That requires communication.
4/19/2014: Please forgive typos and other errors caused by only being able to type with one hand now. I *do* proofread, but may miss an error here or there. If/when I do, I apologize.
Legal Notice and Attorney's CYA Requirements: The author of this post is not an attorney, physician, or marital or sexual therapist or counselor (nor does he play any or all of the above on television). All opinions are offered only as the viewpoint(s) of an individual with a certain amount of life experience, and should not be considered to be legal, medical, or therapeutic/counseling advice.
Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
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Last edited by Sir_Winston54 : 02-14-2013 at 04:17 PM.