Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Authors' Hangout

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 01-31-2013, 02:33 AM   #1
MatveiPavlovitch
Experienced
 
MatveiPavlovitch is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: North
Posts: 47
Looking for good stories in order to learn style

Because Im not a native English speaker, there are several challenges to me, when Im writing a new story. I have a wonderful, patient editor, who has helped me a lot, so there is a solution to the problems of grammar.

I had some constructive criticism about the vagueness of the description the sexual act in my recent story, and Id like to improve that in my next posts.

My intention is to make descriptions of sex physical, visual and emotional; what you see and feel alters your state of mind, too. I would like you to suggest me some exemplary stories, where the sex act is described in a holistic way. I lack the necessary vocabulary and style to write it English in the way I want. I dont believe in clichs or too vulgar language. Vulgarity has definitely a place in erotic writing, but it is like Habanero chili, you need to use it with moderation in order to make a perfect dish. And sometimes it is better avoiding it altogether.

Would you kindly give me some hints of text that you think exceptionally well written? They can be in Lit, but of course all fiction serves my purposes. A good story is the best teacher in style and language. If you have anything in mind, please let me know!
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-31-2013, 04:55 AM   #2
Handley_Page
Literotica Guru
 
Handley_Page's Avatar
 
Handley_Page is online now
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 33,659
Quote:
Originally Posted by MatveiPavlovitch View Post
Because Im not a native English speaker, there are several challenges to me, when Im writing a new story. I have a wonderful, patient editor, who has helped me a lot, so there is a solution to the problems of grammar.

I had some constructive criticism about the vagueness of the description the sexual act in my recent story, and Id like to improve that in my next posts.

My intention is to make descriptions of sex physical, visual and emotional; what you see and feel alters your state of mind, too. I would like you to suggest me some exemplary stories, where the sex act is described in a holistic way. I lack the necessary vocabulary and style to write it English in the way I want. I dont believe in clichs or too vulgar language. Vulgarity has definitely a place in erotic writing, but it is like Habanero chili, you need to use it with moderation in order to make a perfect dish. And sometimes it is better avoiding it altogether.

Would you kindly give me some hints of text that you think exceptionally well written? They can be in Lit, but of course all fiction serves my purposes. A good story is the best teacher in style and language. If you have anything in mind, please let me know!

I suggest you need to define the parameters a little. What CLASS of story do you prefer?

But I would suggest you check out Alex de Kock, OggBashan or Mistress Lynn to start with.
__________________
.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "
" Charlie's Story "
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-31-2013, 05:42 AM   #3
MatveiPavlovitch
Experienced
 
MatveiPavlovitch is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: North
Posts: 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
I suggest you need to define the parameters a little. What CLASS of story do you prefer?

But I would suggest you check out Alex de Kock, OggBashan or Mistress Lynn to start with.
I'm interested in the vocabulary and the style how to describe a heterosexual intercourse, genital, oral, anal and other forms; how to describe positions, movements, sensations etc. The sexual act is a microcosm, and I would like to study the way how different authors describe that inner space.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-31-2013, 06:09 AM   #4
NaokoSmith
Honourable Slut
 
NaokoSmith's Avatar
 
NaokoSmith is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: In my dreams
Posts: 7,656
Quote:
Originally Posted by MatveiPavlovitch View Post
The sexual act is a microcosm, and I would like to study the way how different authors describe that inner space.
I can already see your problem!
But you're in the right place. The whole site is stuffed full of explicit writing. This one is particularly hot: The Accidental Nudist Cabin by TX_Tall_Tales.

Personally I um, cough, learned a lot from a fanfiction story about Batman and Wonder Woman which I perused in the interests of research. . It's in my favourites. I like Lien_Geller too, he's very funny as well as explicit. If you want it a bit dark, try LaRascasse, I edit for him, although I should warn you he does hideous things to fine wines in his stories.

You can cruise through any category you like the look of and read the Hall of Fame stories and contest winners. Score as you go. Er, I mean, do the ratings .

__________________
Just like one of the lads, really. (With tits .)

Submission. I mean my submissions.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other nine hundred and ninety-nine follow women. - Groucho Marx.
You can follow me on my review blog: Feminist Erotica

Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-31-2013, 09:14 AM   #5
Ironiclaconic
Really Really Experienced
 
Ironiclaconic is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 343
I don't think anyone can find your style for you. Read the most popular stories in your favorite categories, read the othe stories of the authors you like, and pay attention to the style
of the stories you like, as well as the stories you dislike. Emulate the former, shun the latter.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-31-2013, 09:34 AM   #6
JAMESBJOHNSON
TRAILER TRASH KING.
 
JAMESBJOHNSON's Avatar
 
JAMESBJOHNSON is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 43,694
Quote:
Originally Posted by NaokoSmith View Post
I can already see your problem!
But you're in the right place. The whole site is stuffed full of explicit writing. This one is particularly hot: The Accidental Nudist Cabin by TX_Tall_Tales.

Personally I um, cough, learned a lot from a fanfiction story about Batman and Wonder Woman which I perused in the interests of research. . It's in my favourites. I like Lien_Geller too, he's very funny as well as explicit. If you want it a bit dark, try LaRascasse, I edit for him, although I should warn you he does hideous things to fine wines in his stories.

You can cruise through any category you like the look of and read the Hall of Fame stories and contest winners. Score as you go. Er, I mean, do the ratings .

No. Fraid not. One page in I bailed out. THE ACCIDENTAL NUDIST reminds me of ballet violence. The cast prances all over hell before anything happens, leaping and waving their swords at no one in particular. But then I like the kind of subtlety you get with blitzkrieg or the Gestapo breaking down your front door at 3AM. I dont wanna stop and smell the roses from the git-go.

Last edited by JAMESBJOHNSON : 01-31-2013 at 09:38 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-31-2013, 02:06 PM   #7
damppanties
Tinkle, twinkle
 
damppanties's Avatar
 
damppanties is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Pardes
Posts: 16,270
I liked the sex in For the Honour of Clan Tavish. Mostly Cruel2BKind writes good sex scenes but she also writes mostly in Gay Male so that might not be your thing. And sadly, I can't remember any others that had really great sex scenes.
__________________
ღ~

Vanity quotes:
"Dampy, I am your willing slave. " - NaokoSmith
"Well, you give good type. " - jomar
"Pls don't ever, ever, say you want to take off your clothes right after you or someone proclaimed your or their love to them or you" - Dino ♥
"You're just a good, down to earth girl who happens to write smut. And hang out on porn boards." - cheerful_deviant
"Dampy, the smut runs deep in your soul. Don't worry, it'll crest again." - bluebell7

  Reply With Quote

Old 01-31-2013, 02:39 PM   #8
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
 
sr71plt's Avatar
 
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 33,345
To learn good style, you'd need to read bad ones too--for comparison. But, generally, I'd have to say that someone needing to be spoonfed at the first step of the journey, isn't going to be traveling very far.

Suggest you do a lot of reading on your own and discovering for yourself what works better than something else of what you've read.
__________________
______________________


  Reply With Quote

Old 01-31-2013, 06:53 PM   #9
chocolatecookie3
Really Experienced
 
chocolatecookie3's Avatar
 
chocolatecookie3 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 182
For general fiction, may I suggest Nabokov? He wrote fluently in English but he liked to play with the language in a way that native English speakers wouldn't think of. And you have a Russian screenname, so maybe you already know of him.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 03:02 AM   #10
JAMESBJOHNSON
TRAILER TRASH KING.
 
JAMESBJOHNSON's Avatar
 
JAMESBJOHNSON is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 43,694
Style redux.

I've said it before, and its true, the best way to master style is from exposure to lotsa music, even sound. That is find the sound you like and fit your your words to the sound.

Try this to get the idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_jEkNiYFNc

Last edited by JAMESBJOHNSON : 02-01-2013 at 03:49 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 01:02 PM   #11
DeeZire
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Wouldn't the style be dependent upon the character? If it's a low class working dude, the style might be crude. It it's a touchy-feely hippie, the style might be more metaphysical. A womans' POV might be totally different than a man's POV of the same scene.

I'm really enjoying Raymond Chandler right now. He was a noir writer in the 30' - 50's. I would call his style "microscopic". He'll point out tiny details - the cigarette butts in the ashtray, the worn spot on the carpet - which bring the reader really close to the action. Some here say you're not supposed to describe your characters in any detail, but then these same writers go on to describe the sex act in detail. I think it comes down to style choice, more than "rules".

If you're not yet comfortable with describing a long, drawn out sex act, construct your story so you don't have to. There's more to sex than the act itself. As a reader, I skip over long drawn out sex acts - unless the neighbor next door is peeking through the window and one of the people having sex knows it while the other doesn't.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 02:02 PM   #12
MatveiPavlovitch
Experienced
 
MatveiPavlovitch is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: North
Posts: 47
I admire a lot the way Nabokov writes, and he has published some of his esthetic ideas in his book about Gogol. Nabokov hated vulgarity, and explicit descriptions of sex acts were considered as vulgar at his time.

What I'm actually looking for, are good descriptions of the sexual act in English. I lack the vocabulary and the sense of appropriate style, because I don't live in an English speaking country and the use of my English is in the business only.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 02:10 PM   #13
NaokoSmith
Honourable Slut
 
NaokoSmith's Avatar
 
NaokoSmith is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: In my dreams
Posts: 7,656
Sometimes the best descriptions of sex are done just through innuendo. Like Dee says, it depends on the characters and the story you're telling. But there are lots of good descriptions of sex on here and also on Smashwords, some are free there and some are to pay for.

I have a review site where I check out stories although they do all have to be safe sex. There are some hot numbers there and you can read the brief description before you go to the story:
Feminist Erotica

If you find any good stories which are safe sex while you're exploring, will you let me know?
__________________
Just like one of the lads, really. (With tits .)

Submission. I mean my submissions.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other nine hundred and ninety-nine follow women. - Groucho Marx.
You can follow me on my review blog: Feminist Erotica

Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 02:46 PM   #14
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
 
lovecraft68's Avatar
 
lovecraft68 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Closer than you think.
Posts: 18,337
Read mine, then do the opposite!
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 02:57 PM   #15
JAMESBJOHNSON
TRAILER TRASH KING.
 
JAMESBJOHNSON's Avatar
 
JAMESBJOHNSON is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 43,694
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeeZire View Post
Wouldn't the style be dependent upon the character? If it's a low class working dude, the style might be crude. It it's a touchy-feely hippie, the style might be more metaphysical. A womans' POV might be totally different than a man's POV of the same scene.

I'm really enjoying Raymond Chandler right now. He was a noir writer in the 30' - 50's. I would call his style "microscopic". He'll point out tiny details - the cigarette butts in the ashtray, the worn spot on the carpet - which bring the reader really close to the action. Some here say you're not supposed to describe your characters in any detail, but then these same writers go on to describe the sex act in detail. I think it comes down to style choice, more than "rules".

If you're not yet comfortable with describing a long, drawn out sex act, construct your story so you don't have to. There's more to sex than the act itself. As a reader, I skip over long drawn out sex acts - unless the neighbor next door is peeking through the window and one of the people having sex knows it while the other doesn't.
Chandler wrote a helpful essay about writing, titled THE SIMPLE ART OF MURDER. In it he speaks of all kinds of stories, and what is and isnt important to the writing. But what says it all is his observation that the best writers compose scenes that never existed before.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 03:01 PM   #16
NaokoSmith
Honourable Slut
 
NaokoSmith's Avatar
 
NaokoSmith is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: In my dreams
Posts: 7,656
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraft68 View Post
Read mine, then do the opposite!
Lovecraft's stories would be very helpful to you! They are way too hot and explicit for me to review on my weebly Feminist Erotica blog.

BTW Look for the red H by stories, which shows readers have marked them out as ishly Hot. (Lovecraft has loads.)

(Ooops, did I get something on my nose just then, LC? )
__________________
Just like one of the lads, really. (With tits .)

Submission. I mean my submissions.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other nine hundred and ninety-nine follow women. - Groucho Marx.
You can follow me on my review blog: Feminist Erotica

Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 03:06 PM   #17
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
 
lovecraft68's Avatar
 
lovecraft68 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Closer than you think.
Posts: 18,337
Quote:
Originally Posted by NaokoSmith View Post
Lovecraft's stories would be very helpful to you! They are way too hot and explicit for me to review on my weebly Feminist Erotica blog.

BTW Look for the red H by stories, which shows readers have marked them out as ishly Hot. (Lovecraft has loads.)

(Ooops, did I get something on my nose just then, LC? )
Ha-ha, nah I'd have to be able to give you something to be worth brown nosing.

But I want to make a point about the sacred red "H's"

They're very subjective. I've read a lot of the top rated stories on the site and sometimes been "meh"

On the other hand I've read stories I thought were very good and seen their sscores are well below 4.5

The problem here is its all subject to taste and the story I find hot you might think stinks and the other way around.

Also once you build a decent fan base getting an H is not hard because the fans become a little biased.

I'm prouder of my non incest H's because I don;t have a following in really any other category.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 03:07 PM   #18
damppanties
Tinkle, twinkle
 
damppanties's Avatar
 
damppanties is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Pardes
Posts: 16,270
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeeZire View Post
If you're not yet comfortable with describing a long, drawn out sex act, construct your story so you don't have to. There's more to sex than the act itself. As a reader, I skip over long drawn out sex acts - unless the neighbor next door is peeking through the window and one of the people having sex knows it while the other doesn't.
Yes, the stories I enjoy mostly are sexy throughout, not just in the act itself.
__________________
ღ~

Vanity quotes:
"Dampy, I am your willing slave. " - NaokoSmith
"Well, you give good type. " - jomar
"Pls don't ever, ever, say you want to take off your clothes right after you or someone proclaimed your or their love to them or you" - Dino ♥
"You're just a good, down to earth girl who happens to write smut. And hang out on porn boards." - cheerful_deviant
"Dampy, the smut runs deep in your soul. Don't worry, it'll crest again." - bluebell7

  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 03:34 PM   #19
JAMESBJOHNSON
TRAILER TRASH KING.
 
JAMESBJOHNSON's Avatar
 
JAMESBJOHNSON is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 43,694
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraft68 View Post
Ha-ha, nah I'd have to be able to give you something to be worth brown nosing.

But I want to make a point about the sacred red "H's"

They're very subjective. I've read a lot of the top rated stories on the site and sometimes been "meh"

On the other hand I've read stories I thought were very good and seen their sscores are well below 4.5

The problem here is its all subject to taste and the story I find hot you might think stinks and the other way around.

Also once you build a decent fan base getting an H is not hard because the fans become a little biased.

I'm prouder of my non incest H's because I don;t have a following in really any other category.
Last nite I sampled some Steven Reich music, and his stuff is sublime but will never be popular as its avant garde and different in every way that matters. His thing is percussion and rhythm.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 04:27 PM   #20
NaokoSmith
Honourable Slut
 
NaokoSmith's Avatar
 
NaokoSmith is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: In my dreams
Posts: 7,656
I'm sure you know this, probably the most legally and historically significant sex scene in erotica. It isn't particularly explicit and nowadays would probably have lots of its quirks edited out of it! but it's so-o-o sexy and beautiful.

Lady Chatterley's Lover (naughty extract helpfully provided by The Independent!)

__________________
Just like one of the lads, really. (With tits .)

Submission. I mean my submissions.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other nine hundred and ninety-nine follow women. - Groucho Marx.
You can follow me on my review blog: Feminist Erotica

Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 05:01 PM   #21
Ironiclaconic
Really Really Experienced
 
Ironiclaconic is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 343
Lawrence uses "softly" too much, and "circling in his knees?". Really? His knees? The Loving Wives trolls would eat him for breakfast.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 05:19 PM   #22
JAMESBJOHNSON
TRAILER TRASH KING.
 
JAMESBJOHNSON's Avatar
 
JAMESBJOHNSON is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 43,694
No one reads D.H.Lawrence these days.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 05:53 PM   #23
oggbashan
Ancient writer
 
oggbashan's Avatar
 
oggbashan is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Facing the sea.
Posts: 27,295
Quote:
Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON View Post
No one reads D.H.Lawrence these days.
Oh yes they do!

(It's still pantomime season locally)

The D H Lawrence Birthplace Museum has to have timed entry slots because it is so popular.
__________________

My 3-Lit Page Winter Holiday Winning Entry
http://www.literotica.com/s/christmas-truce

Oggbashan's long list of stories
Jeanne D'Artois' few
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-01-2013, 05:57 PM   #24
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
 
lovecraft68's Avatar
 
lovecraft68 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Closer than you think.
Posts: 18,337
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironiclaconic View Post
Lawrence uses "softly" too much, and "circling in his knees?". Really? His knees? The Loving Wives trolls would eat him for breakfast.
The LW crowd could eat the devil himself for breakfast.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-02-2013, 07:01 AM   #25
NaokoSmith
Honourable Slut
 
NaokoSmith's Avatar
 
NaokoSmith is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: In my dreams
Posts: 7,656
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironiclaconic View Post
Lawrence uses "softly" too much, and "circling in his knees?". Really? His knees? The Loving Wives trolls would eat him for breakfast.
I feel it in my knees sometimes. If it's really good. (Tee hee!)
He uses 'And' to start sentences. And I like it.
Yup, Matvei, Lawrence's English is terrible, but his erotic writing is top dollar.
__________________
Just like one of the lads, really. (With tits .)

Submission. I mean my submissions.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other nine hundred and ninety-nine follow women. - Groucho Marx.
You can follow me on my review blog: Feminist Erotica

Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas.
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:11 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.