What makes you stop reading a story?

[Ironiclaconic]

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

Shameless plug accepted. That was a good story. Loved the ending. You had the clueless husband down pretty good and the nagging wife. Though, he was a bit too quick figuring it out to be realistic. It can take a man decades to figure it out sometimes. LOL.

On a side note: You’re doing really well on the contest. Kicked my stories all to hell. Congrats.

I made the guy a police detective for a reason.

As for the contest, thanks. Contest isn't over yet and I have seen sweeps cause big changes, but I have been happy with the reception so far.

[sr71plt]

Originally Posted by soflabbwlvr

Babysitting? I'd call it common courtesy.

Then you'd be with the majority, I'm sure. To me this is a porn board. If you can't/won't take full responsibility for yourself, I don't think you should be here. I think your thinking reflects a society of folks not wanting to take responsibility for themselves--and that this is one of the trends pulling us down.

[sr71plt]

Originally Posted by SevenSquared

No, I'm into longer stories

Well, that's good enough for me.

The rest of it isn't necessarily so. You could go count words in a Hemingway or Saki short story. They did just fine covering all of the bases.

(I just submitted a story to a mainstream contest with a 53-word limit. I'm pretty sure I covered showing plot, setting, and everything you need to know about two characters for that story. Yes, I left room for the reader to fill in a whole lot on their own. Getting readers to think for themselves is a legitimate literary technique.)

[Bramblethorn]

I forgot one: bad dialogue. Especially the "Let me explain stuff that the listener already knows but the reader doesn't" variety.

Originally Posted by soflabbwlvr

At my first job out of college there were no attractive women anywhere in the office. My boss explained to me that the office is for work, not recreation. Better to keep out the temptation.

The grand old tradition: if a woman has impulse control issues it's her problem, if a guy has impulse control issues it's also the woman's problem :-(

[TimothyM]

Originally Posted by Cruel2BKind

Aaron was 5'5"...

Or were you talking about interesting characters with no sex?

well, I did say ALMOST And the not-very-much sex content was pretty natural given the circumstances !

But it was the 'small and frail' that made me think of Aaron. However, whiny would be unfair (except maybe the very first scene), as he does have quite a lot to complain and cry about. In fact he actually ends up amazing the reader at how well he gets through it all. It's a very sweet and tender love story - although I really want to kick Daniel's butt for not having the courage to talk to Aaron when he first saw him.

[luvthedesserts]

Originally Posted by sr71plt

Then you'd be with the majority, I'm sure. To me this is a porn board. If you can't/won't take full responsibility for yourself, I don't think you should be here. I think your thinking reflects a society of folks not wanting to take responsibility for themselves--and that this is one of the trends pulling us down.

I’m going to somewhat agree with soflabbwlvr, but only if a writer diverts from what he/she normally writes and is warning his/her fan base. Another example would be fetishes stuffed into a story where people aren’t expecting it. It is a bit off putting if you’re reading a romance and a rape fetish pops up. Otherwise, it’s a free-for-all.

[PennLady]

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

So, most romances where the plucky independent I don’t need a man to save me heroine becomes a flighty nervous quivering ball of insecurities any time Dirk Longmember walks through the door, is out?

Quite probably, although it's not exactly a matter of insecurity. I was reading a story on here in the nonhuman section (don't know if it was ever finished) and it featured a group of four women, and one in particular. They were all smart, gorgeous, independent women with careers or businesses, and that's fine. Then the woman meets the guy -- who is an alpha wolf with all the usual physical qualities that attend -- and she just can't say no, she can't think straight, etc. And of course the guy expects all of this as his due (whether it's a NH story or not).

This annoyed me so much I wrote a story where the alpha male set his sights on a woman and thought he was doing her a great favor, and she told him to piss off in no uncertain terms. That was fun to write. They did end up together but there was no just falling at his feet.

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

And of course, “the cum bath.” Nothing shows love like using a girl like an old tube sock. I’m sure a pearl necklace is a nice kink for some, just not me. But now I’m falling into personal preferences. Whoops.

Well this annoys me as well, and this is about personal preferences. My thing is that I just don't read stories like that, and can usually tell before that if it's going somewhere I won't like. So I just click off. So many taglines simply say that "Jane discovers she wants to be a cumslut" that it isn't hard to avoid them.

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

I’ve tried to write in the first person, never the second. It doesn’t work for me. My personality eventually finds it’s way in and then it just turns to quirky idiotic observations about cheese graters and why nipples never look at the same thing at the same time.

I prefer third person writing to first, but I've read plenty of first-person stuff that's good to very good. It won't make me click off on its own, but it doesn't help and if other stuff bothers me on top of that, them I'm out.

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

I don’t get the submission doormat thing either. I don’t like taking care of another pet. Or being the pet. Now, the shy but lovable is okay. Or the, “Damn it, I hate the way you make me feel,” thing. It’s a personal preference for me.

Yes, shy and loveable is okay. I like stories where people let go of some insecurity they have, or take a chance on trust or love -- that's fine. Submission is something I don't like either but then it's pretty easy to avoid.

Originally Posted by TimothyM

guys calling their partners (whether female or male) for bitch or slut - except in a few role play situations or as a rare occurrence in the heat of the moment

Yeah, that doesn't do much for me either.

Originally Posted by TimothyM

virgins or very inexperienced girls / guys who come immediately just by being fucked

Not just that, but virgins who suddenly know just what to do during sex and become totally uninhibited, etc.

Originally Posted by SecondCircle

Unrealistic stories. Any story that starts to lose it's grip on me because of any sort of unrealistic item within the story.

Yes, that bugs me, too. I can handle a little of it, but too much sends me out of the story. And to me, unrealistic is people doing stupid things -- going into a dangerous place alone, or without calling the police; refusing to say the few words that could clear up the situation; ignoring the rules of behavior for the time period, whatever it is.

For example -- based on something I recently read -- if someone goes to a school and the setting is contemporary, then they are going to have go through some kind of security. They cannot, as that author had, "sneak into" the school. That's a kind of laziness or ignorance that just ruins a story for me.

[luvthedesserts]

Originally Posted by PennLady

This annoyed me so much I wrote a story where the alpha male set his sights on a woman and thought he was doing her a great favor, and she told him to piss off in no uncertain terms. That was fun to write. They did end up together but there was no just falling at his feet.

You mean she had to inform him he wasn’t that impressive and had to actually work for it? That’s barbaric.

The Alpha Male is another subject all together for me. I’m toying with a quiet hero that tells the heroine what that really says about her. I know the instinct for a lot of women is to gravitate towards the confident protective sort, but Alpha and Asshole resemble each other too closely in my opinion. But then again, I like the good guy winning the girl.

Not just that, but virgins who suddenly know just what to do during sex and become totally uninhibited, etc.

But she watched porn and her passion overflowed to transform her into Wonder Slut. It can happen. It really can. Tell me it can. Please. They never really write about the panic attacks, do they?

[DeeZire]

Originally Posted by SamScribble

For me the biggest turnoff is writing that lacks craft. I know that all would-be writers have to start somewhere, but if the author can’t get basic things like spelling and grammar right, I’m probably not going to read past the first paragraph.

The second test is the ‘sound’ of the prose. To borrow from Philip Larkin (perhaps after Eddie Condon): ‘As it enters the ear, does it come in like broken glass, or does it come in like honey?’ If it comes in like broken glass (and so much of it does), I’m off to read something else.

And, finally, I must admit to having a penchant for writing that makes me smile.

As you might imagine, with these criteria, I probably start reading 20 stories for every one that I finish.

I'm with Sam on every point.

[JaxRhapsody]

Im going to write a story that has all this in it.

[TimothyM]

Originally Posted by PennLady

Not just that, but virgins who suddenly know just what to do during sex and become totally uninhibited, etc.

Yep, always makes me laugh like crazy - which kind of ruins the mood

But funnily enough you sometimes meet the opposite IRL: young women who are clueless and hardly even know how to achieve an orgasm by masturbating. Yet they still expect the guy to be able to make them come. How the hell am I going to do that, if you don't even know yourself what it takes?

Give me a mature experienced woman any day !

[PennLady]

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

You mean she had to inform him he wasn’t that impressive and had to actually work for it? That’s barbaric.

Yep.

Here's the excerpt (sorry for lack of context):

Once again he flashed her his smile, and she itched to slap it clean off his face. She understood the implications—she was plain, he was saying, and so men like him did not ask her out. Hence, she should be grateful for his attention. Enough is enough, she thought. She leaned forward and caught his eyes, then spoke low and clearly.

“Jamie, I may not be as exotic as your sister, or as pretty as Simone, but I am not desperate enough to agree to a date with you.” The gold flecks in her brown eyes seemed to spark fire as he watched. He was speechless. “I’ve dealt with people like you. People so confident and self-assured, who always get what they want. You influence people. My brother fell under the spell of someone like you, and I lost him and my parents.

“So you’ll pardon me if I don’t fall at your feet, grateful for the bits of attention you deign to toss me. I’ve learned my lesson.”

I itch to edit that in a few places.

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

The Alpha Male is another subject all together for me. I’m toying with a quiet hero that tells the heroine what that really says about her. I know the instinct for a lot of women is to gravitate towards the confident protective sort, but Alpha and Asshole resemble each other too closely in my opinion. But then again, I like the good guy winning the girl.

This is a great essay by Firebrain on the perils of Alphas and how to fix them.

I find that part of the problem is that alpha men are written too far over the line into arrogance from confidence. Arrogance would be a real turn off, for many if not most, I'd think, and so it's frustrating both when the guy is arrogant, and the woman loves that and/or rationalizes it. (No fun when the woman is arrogant, either.)

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

But she watched porn and her passion overflowed to transform her into Wonder Slut. It can happen. It really can. Tell me it can. Please. They never really write about the panic attacks, do they?

Can't say I've read much on the panic attacks. Perhaps you should work that into a story.

[glynndah]

Bad writing will make me back-click every time. I don't mind the occasional typo or misplaced comma but when I itch more to take out the red pencil than the red vibe, it's not a story I want to finish.

[Ironiclaconic]

I like to think of the alpha male as the female equivalent of the 20 year old SI swimsuit cover girl, someone that causes instant salivary responses in a large share of the opposite sex, but which is no excuse for lazy characterization, and can degenerate into self parody when done badly.

[luvthedesserts]

Originally Posted by PennLady

I itch to edit that in a few places.

If it was a werewolf story, you could just have fleas.

This is a great essay by Firebrain on the perils of Alphas and how to fix them.

I find that part of the problem is that alpha men are written too far over the line into arrogance from confidence. Arrogance would be a real turn off, for many if not most, I'd think, and so it's frustrating both when the guy is arrogant, and the woman loves that and/or rationalizes it. (No fun when the woman is arrogant, either.)

Isn’t that cute. The idea a man can be changed. LOL. Good luck with that one. They tend to simply pretend to avoid conflict.


The Alpha Male, in my opinion, is a literary invention. But if he does exist, look at the rest of the pack to find out his character. If he’s running with a bunch of guys you’d never even consider dating, Mr. Alpha isn’t such a prize.

I’ll turn a bit snobby with a paraphrased Aristotle-ism. “You can tell the character of a person by the mate he chooses.”

[lovecraft68]

If I pick up on the fact a story is a pure stroker then I'm done. I enjoy a good build up and like to know the characters so a lot of one page stories don't deliver that.


If its an incest story and there is no hesitation at all. Example if the third paragraph is "Hey sis, can I see your tits", "I guess, but only if you suck on them, then let me blow you."

Any group sex story/ gang bang story involving a virgin who will inevitably become Jenna Jameson by the third paragraph.

Oh, and anything that starts with this

by scouries

[luvthedesserts]

Originally Posted by lovecraft68

If its an incest story and there is no hesitation at all. Example if the third paragraph is "Hey sis, can I see your tits", "I guess, but only if you suck on them, then let me blow you."

That's a great opening line. No reason to wait until the third paragraph. I could build an epic love story out of that. LOL

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

If it was a werewolf story, you could just have fleas.



Isn’t that cute. The idea a man can be changed. LOL. Good luck with that one. They tend to simply pretend to avoid conflict.


The Alpha Male, in my opinion, is a literary invention. But if he does exist, look at the rest of the pack to find out his character. If he’s running with a bunch of guys you’d never even consider dating, Mr. Alpha isn’t such a prize.

I’ll turn a bit snobby with a paraphrased Aristotle-ism. “You can tell the character of a person by the mate he chooses.”

Alpha males really exist. But you wont find them at Starbucks.

[PennLady]

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

If it was a werewolf story, you could just have fleas.

It was a werewolf story, but it was three years ago, so the fleas are gone. It's just that I always want to edit my stuff; I always find something to tweak on a re-read, even just a little spot like that.

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

Isn’t that cute. The idea a man can be changed. LOL. Good luck with that one. They tend to simply pretend to avoid conflict.

Well, it wasn't how to have a character fix them. It was about how to write them and ... moderate them? Make them a bit more palatable, perhaps? Anyway, it's a fun read at least.

[lovecraft68]

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

That's a great opening line. No reason to wait until the third paragraph. I could build an epic love story out of that. LOL

Well of course you could! The trick is that he wakes up, it was yet another perverted fantasy about his sister whom he adores, but finds himself drawn to in a very inappropriate way.

Then we set up conflict and explain when/why he became attracted.....

Problem is for most of those that is not the case. Right after those lines its "insert cheesy 70's porn music here"

[NekoParks]

The End

[kbate]

I vote lower for contest stories or click back for non-contest stories if the author spends a paragraph or more telling me about the character's physical appearance, especially if the appearance has nothing else to do with the story. Don't waste my time telling me he has a 9 inch penis if the story does not require a 9 inch penis in order for the sex to work. The same goes for 36,24,36DD figures - unless a woman's figure is important other than to tell the reader that the character approaches the American Hollywood Standard of Perfection - then let me form my own picture of the woman (and man if I must). If the story doesn't need a redhead for a specific reason - then don't waste words telling me about the red hair. Conserve words.

Grammar is the next thing - if it reads like a third grader wrote it I assume the sex is going to be third grader quality (as in zero). It is not hard, especially for someone who posts on the boards to find someone to be 'first reader' to assist with grammar, punctuation and spelling. I don't expect to find Joyce on this site, but I expect eighth grade level material. Only Ogg is allowed to get away with playing Joyce (by-the-way), everyone else has to remain mortal and that is all I have to say about that.

Impossible sex is annoying. Emptying nutsacks are annoying. Gushing juices is annoying. Porn in text is annoying.

The single most annoying thing is the adverb 'slowly'. Every single writer out there get this - SLOW SEX isn't HOT SEX. When I read, "her hand slowly stroked his slowly hardening penis as she slowly ground her hips in slow circles on his legs," I click 'back'.

I could go on for days with my pet peeves and that (as you might imagine) is another of my peeves, stories that go on for days without going anywhere.

'nuff

[luvthedesserts]

Originally Posted by lovecraft68

Well of course you could! The trick is that he wakes up, it was yet another perverted fantasy about his sister whom he adores, but finds himself drawn to in a very inappropriate way.

Then we set up conflict and explain when/why he became attracted.....

Problem is for most of those that is not the case. Right after those lines its "insert cheesy 70's porn music here"

I’ve toyed with the idea of writing a story for the Humor/Satire category. "When Fiction meets Reality."

When brother walks in on sister in the bathroom, she punts his chestnuts into next Christmas. Then Mom has him arrested.

Or the wife deciding to spice up the marriage with BDSM and the husband cracks up laughing from the outfit she’s wearing.

Or the husband gets tasered when he tries to fulfill his wife’s rape fantasy.

Oh, the possibilities.

Originally Posted by NekoParks

The End

And you get the award for most obvious observation. I was wondering if anyone would do that. Here’s your golden cheese grater.

[lovecraft68]

Originally Posted by luvthedesserts

I’ve toyed with the idea of writing a story for the Humor/Satire category. "When Fiction meets Reality."

When brother walks in on sister in the bathroom, she punts his chestnuts into next Christmas. Then Mom has him arrested.

Or the wife deciding to spice up the marriage with BDSM and the husband cracks up laughing from the outfit she’s wearing.

Or the husband gets tasered when he tries to fulfill his wife’s rape fantasy.

Oh, the possibilities.

That reminds me of the King of Queens episode where The wife fulfills her husbands fantasy of putting a stripper pole in the bedroom then she's so horrible at it, he hates to watch her do it

As for incest, I have a story where when the mother finds her sons journal and reads the entries where he says he wants to have sex with her she takes him to a therapist rather than just run in there and take her clothes of for him.

Of course later on she realizes he'll only get over his obsession is she lets him try. Hey look, I held out for realism for awhile, but it is an incest story after all

[luvthedesserts]

Originally Posted by lovecraft68

That reminds me of the King of Queens episode where The wife fulfills her husbands fantasy of putting a stripper pole in the bedroom then she's so horrible at it, he hates to watch her do it

As for incest, I have a story where when the mother finds her sons journal and reads the entries where he says he wants to have sex with her she takes him to a therapist rather than just run in there and take her clothes of for him.

Of course later on she realizes he'll only get over his obsession is she lets him try. Hey look, I held out for realism for awhile, but it is an incest story after all

What? She invaded his privacy? That bitch. How dare she. Toss her ass in the Loving Wives category. She needs to be punished. Any “real” story, he’d have a lock on his door. Come on, really. What were you thinking? I can’t believe this. I’m never reading another story you write ever again. Nor will I read another story from a writer with a name starting with the letter ‘L.’ And what kind of guy has a journal? Wouldn’t he prefer Dad? Come on, Realism. I want realism in my fantasy.


Okay. Sorry. For those of you who are uncertain, I’m a smartass.

Well, at least she banged him. Did she get pregnant?