Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > General Board

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 01-23-2013, 12:18 PM   #151
hogjack
Wha' Happened?
 
hogjack's Avatar
 
hogjack is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Elmont Ridge, KY
Posts: 31,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovetoread View Post
The biggest mistake of my marriage was lit.
Repeated accidental-flashings of UPS delivery drivers had an impact.

Acknowledge the dangers of free shipping.
__________________
People I Want to Fuck: - 0 -
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 12:20 PM   #152
lovetoread
Japanese Redneck Zombie
 
lovetoread's Avatar
 
lovetoread is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Joisey
Posts: 36,906
Quote:
Originally Posted by hogjack View Post
Repeated accidental-flashings of UPS delivery drivers had an impact.

Acknowledge the dangers of free shipping.
But dude, those were some hot delivery men.
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 12:20 PM   #153
hogjack
Wha' Happened?
 
hogjack's Avatar
 
hogjack is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Elmont Ridge, KY
Posts: 31,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovetoread View Post

It is not a crime to be wanted sexually to boost your self esteem.
John Walsh, myself and criminals on-the-run concur.

Well put.
__________________
People I Want to Fuck: - 0 -
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 12:22 PM   #154
hogjack
Wha' Happened?
 
hogjack's Avatar
 
hogjack is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Elmont Ridge, KY
Posts: 31,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovetoread View Post
But dude, those were some hot delivery men.
There's package-delivery and then there's "PACKAGE" delivery.

They do both equally well.
__________________
People I Want to Fuck: - 0 -
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 12:27 PM   #155
Riles
Screw Queen
 
Riles's Avatar
 
Riles is online now
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Canadian Chick
Posts: 17,614
Quote:
Originally Posted by hogjack View Post
There's package-delivery and then there's "PACKAGE" delivery.

They do both equally well.

"time to see what Brown can do for you..."
__________________
"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it" ~Maya Angelou~

Audio porn? Sure! http://vocaroo.com/i/s1p3fBArxnIY
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 02:21 PM   #156
tactful
What the fuck, over.
 
tactful's Avatar
 
tactful is offline
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: In the past
Posts: 11,872
Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear.
Yes, I like Romance.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 02:43 PM   #157
Lancecastor
GB's Most Trusted Canuck
 
Lancecastor's Avatar
 
Lancecastor is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Canada!
Posts: 39,330
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovetoread View Post
drop the charade about loving Jesus and just fucking ask for cyber from a man or two. Stop being pathetically obvious about what you really want but wont admit it. Its not a crime to be wanted
Excellent advice.

If she wants some interactive fantasy material to masturbate with, this is an excellent place to make that happen.

Guys like Vetteman would be tickled pink to get some phone sex with an actual woman instead of a dude holding up pictures of an "internet hottie" as their foil justifying going brokeback.

And the Jesus stuff is tiresome.

Jesus would put you over his knee and spank you to orgasm if he knew you were using him as your rationale for flashing your tits one minute and being "Christ-like" the next.

It would be far more honest to bring your Dirty Grrl to Lit.

And she'd be far more welcome here.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 02:45 PM   #158
Tryharder62
Anything New?
 
Tryharder62's Avatar
 
Tryharder62 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: La-la land!
Posts: 8,656
Quote:
Originally Posted by tactful View Post
Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear.
Yes, I like Romance.
Can I ask you what you think is romantic?
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 02:46 PM   #159
hogjack
Wha' Happened?
 
hogjack's Avatar
 
hogjack is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Elmont Ridge, KY
Posts: 31,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lancecastor View Post
flashing your tits one minute and being "Christ-like" the next.
Welcome to sorority Pledge Week on the Oral Roberts University campus.
__________________
People I Want to Fuck: - 0 -
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 03:02 PM   #160
tactful
What the fuck, over.
 
tactful's Avatar
 
tactful is offline
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: In the past
Posts: 11,872
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryharder62 View Post
Can I ask you what you think is romantic?
Courtship, the years of marriage, before children and everything else, that delayed romance.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 03:55 PM   #161
Tryharder62
Anything New?
 
Tryharder62's Avatar
 
Tryharder62 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: La-la land!
Posts: 8,656
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lancecastor View Post
Excellent advice.

If she wants some interactive fantasy material to masturbate with, this is an excellent place to make that happen.

Guys like Vetteman would be tickled pink to get some phone sex with an actual woman instead of a dude holding up pictures of an "internet hottie" as their foil justifying going brokeback.

And the Jesus stuff is tiresome.

Jesus would put you over his knee and spank you to orgasm if he knew you were using him as your rationale for flashing your tits one minute and being "Christ-like" the next.

It would be far more honest to bring your Dirty Grrl to Lit.

And she'd be far more welcome here.

There is no charade. I can only be myself. I have never used Jesus as a rational to flash my tits. In fact unless it's a thread about faith I don't bring it up. That is all.
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 04:01 PM   #162
LiFeNdEaTh
The Usual.
 
LiFeNdEaTh's Avatar
 
LiFeNdEaTh is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: LOVE JESUS & DANCE WIT THE DEVIL
Posts: 21,261
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryharder62 View Post
There is no charade. I can only be myself. I have never used Jesus as a rational to flash my tits. In fact unless it's a thread about faith I don't bring it up. That is all.
you're back an so am i

feel better now too.. got me some rest
__________________

B A N G · B A N G ! ! !
"Life is a choice, and death is a decision"
"Ї Єvёи LооК GоОd Їи A Bяокёй MїґЯоґ"
▀ █░░ █░░ █░█ █▄░▄█ ▀ █▄░█ ▄▀▄ ▀█▀ ▀
█ █░▄ █░▄ █░█ █░█░█ █ █░▀█ █▀█ ░█░ █
▀ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ ░▀░ ▀░░░▀ ▀ ▀░░▀ ▀░▀ ░▀░ ▀

Take risks! If you win, you will be happy, if you lose, you will be wise.
“Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.” -Charles Bukowski


~Your enemies in reality dont hate u~
~They hate themselves because~
~You are the reflection of everything~
~that they wanna be...~

  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 04:04 PM   #163
Tryharder62
Anything New?
 
Tryharder62's Avatar
 
Tryharder62 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: La-la land!
Posts: 8,656
I'm glad.
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 04:28 PM   #164
hogjack
Wha' Happened?
 
hogjack's Avatar
 
hogjack is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Elmont Ridge, KY
Posts: 31,732
hogjack's Romancin' Suggestions for guys:
  • maintain fresh batteries in sexual aids
  • remove the 1970s-installed ceiling mirrors
  • pick up your own fucking clothes off the floor
  • trim nose and ear hair if longer than your mobile phone
  • lie to your buddies if you have to but she is not putting "that" in "there"
  • nothing German or Japanese pervs do for porn is really gonna happen
  • weed-out-and-then-burn the beer and sweat-stained shirts
__________________
People I Want to Fuck: - 0 -
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 05:15 PM   #165
lovetoread
Japanese Redneck Zombie
 
lovetoread's Avatar
 
lovetoread is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Joisey
Posts: 36,906
Quote:
Originally Posted by hogjack View Post
hogjack's Romancin' Suggestions for guys:
  • maintain fresh batteries in sexual aids
  • remove the 1970s-installed ceiling mirrors
  • pick up your own fucking clothes off the floor
  • trim nose and ear hair if longer than your mobile phone
  • lie to your buddies if you have to but she is not putting "that" in "there"
  • nothing German or Japanese pervs do for porn is really gonna happen
  • weed-out-and-then-burn the beer and sweat-stained shirts
"that in there"

That had me laughing.
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 05:18 PM   #166
hogjack
Wha' Happened?
 
hogjack's Avatar
 
hogjack is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Elmont Ridge, KY
Posts: 31,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovetoread View Post
"that in there"

That had me laughing.
Orafice etiquette is not talked enough about in my opinion.
__________________
People I Want to Fuck: - 0 -
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 05:42 PM   #167
Tryharder62
Anything New?
 
Tryharder62's Avatar
 
Tryharder62 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: La-la land!
Posts: 8,656
I like the new suit jacket avatar hogjack.
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 06:11 PM   #168
colddiesel
Literotica Guru
 
colddiesel's Avatar
 
colddiesel is offline
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: in my shed
Posts: 1,341
The answer is easy. You should combine your interest in your 'faith' with your need for more intimate attention. You obviously have a strong sense of social responsibility- a missionary instinct even. Therefore, identify a couple of 18 to 24 year olds at your church and seduce'em.

One at a time perhaps, until you learn the ropes.

You'll get your rocks off they'll learn what romance is all about - It's God's work -love your neighbour as yourself.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-23-2013, 11:57 PM   #169
hogjack
Wha' Happened?
 
hogjack's Avatar
 
hogjack is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Elmont Ridge, KY
Posts: 31,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryharder62 View Post
I like the new suit jacket avatar hogjack.
Sartorial splendor does not stop at the rolled-up t-shirts I stuff in the front of my pants.
__________________
People I Want to Fuck: - 0 -
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:15 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.