Do men like romance?

[LiFeNdEaTh]

Originally Posted by John Doe

Does twisting her nipples count as romance?

more on the brutal side

[Riles]

Originally Posted by John Doe

Does twisting her nipples count as romance?

only counter-clock, otherwise it's just the same old thing and we don't count that.

[Tryharder62]

Originally Posted by boyNextDoor2010

So for the sake of argument, let's define romantic in this way: Inclined toward or suggestive of the feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

Men are typically not "romantic".

Men are more Inclined toward or suggestive of the feeling of excitement and mystery associated with dirty, dirty sex.

So what would you call that?

That's just it. After so many years together are there couples out there that still have a spark and the "hots" for their spouse? Still look at the person and think damn I want him/her. Is it realistic for it not to get stale. Listen if I knew my husband felt excitement and mystery associated with dirty dirty sex that would be fine with me. But I'd also like for him to tell me he loves me once maybe every 5-10 years.

[Tryharder62]

My challenge to the men out there. If you love your wife tell her. Notice something nice she always does that you take for granted. (It's amazing but I am the only one in the household that knows how to clean the toilet.) Don't lie but tell her one thing that you still find beautiful about her. Take her to the coffee house and tell her you just wanted to spend a few minutes alone with her. Then get down to the dirty sex.

[Riles]

Originally Posted by Tryharder62

That's just it. After so many years together are there couples out there that still have a spark and the "hots" for their spouse? Still look at the person and think damn I want him/her. Is it realistic for it not to get stale. Listen if I knew my husband felt excitement and mystery associated with dirty dirty sex that would be fine with me. But I'd also like for him to tell me he loves me once maybe every 5-10 years.

There are, we do and yes it is. But for us it takes a creative approach to keep it going.

I think most couples would admit to there being highs and lows - I certainly do. But it's communicating through those lows, sometimes by battling it out, that you fix the wrongs you can and accept the ones you can't.

I do a lot more reading than posting on here some days and the picture you paint is not unlike many others, and my first thought is always "yeah, okay, we hear the issues about him....but what have YOU done to fix it?". Even if you think you've taken steps to repair the lost connection, you (as in most women) do it with the expectation that he should notice right away and pay back in kind. That doesn't happen. Why? Because we handle the situation with kid gloves, and I've met very few men who could speak 'subtle'.

I also believe our actions teach people how we should be treated -give some thought to what you've taught him over the years...

[Tryharder62]

Well this is not an exhaustive list but I try to let him do the activities he wants to do with his buddies. Several who are divorced have told him how lucky he is that I don't complain about it. I try to be interested in his "hobbies" and things that he likes to do. I work part time and he works full time so I try to make it that he doesn't have anything he has to do when he gets home so he can spend time with the kids. I'm not the best cook and we probably grab food out more than we should. I'm not the best housekeeper but our house is comfortable. I never say no to sex. I give him massages anytime he asks for them and sometimes even when he doesn't. I try to initiate different things in sex. I've suggested we maybe talk to somebody but he said no. I tell him I need him and want him. Who knows.

[Lancecastor]

Originally Posted by Tryharder62

That's just it. After so many years together are there couples out there that still have a spark and the "hots" for their spouse? Still look at the person and think damn I want him/her. Is it realistic for it not to get stale. Listen if I knew my husband felt excitement and mystery associated with dirty dirty sex that would be fine with me. But I'd also like for him to tell me he loves me once maybe every 5-10 years.

Meanwhile, you're here flouncing around...

[Tryharder62]

Originally Posted by Lancecastor

Meanwhile, you're here flouncing around...

Stop being a porcupine. Put me on ignore.

[Lancecastor]

Originally Posted by Tryharder62

Stop being a porcupine. Put me on ignore.

There's more than one side to your "discussion"....but if not, take it to The Playground.

The fact is it takes two to tango and you are here every day looking for love and blaming your lonliness on your Husband.

If you spent even 1 of the several hours per day you are spending here on attending to your Husband, you'd be better off.

And everyone who has ever been in a LTR knows that to be true.

So fuck off with the insults, whiner.

[Sinny]

Originally Posted by Tryharder62

Well this is not an exhaustive list but I try to let him do the activities he wants to do with his buddies. Several who are divorced have told him how lucky he is that I don't complain about it. I try to be interested in his "hobbies" and things that he likes to do. I work part time and he works full time so I try to make it that he doesn't have anything he has to do when he gets home so he can spend time with the kids. I'm not the best cook and we probably grab food out more than we should. I'm not the best housekeeper but our house is comfortable. I never say no to sex. I give him massages anytime he asks for them and sometimes even when he doesn't. I try to initiate different things in sex. I've suggested we maybe talk to somebody but he said no. I tell him I need him and want him. Who knows.

You are patting yourself on the back for "letting" him be with friends? That's half your problem there. You are reluctant to recognize that the most successful partners are ones who cultivate friendships and a life away from a marriage. Also, print out what Riles wrote and tape it to your wallet so you can read it every day. You also should turn off your PMs here and don't distract yourself with men who are going to make your gaping void bigger than it already is (read that how you like). If you spent half the time you spend here bitching about your husband actually working on your relationship, you'd probably figure out some of your problems. Or are you one of those women who just needs to go on and on and on about how miserable her life is without doing something about it? Take control of your own life.

[Lancecastor]

Originally Posted by Sinny

If you spent half the time you spend here bitching about your husband actually working on your relationship, you'd probably figure out some of your problems. Or are you one of those women who just needs to go on and on and on about how miserable her life is without doing something about it? Take control of your own life.

Ca-ching.

She probably thinks a blow job is something she "gives" him as a "special treat" if the jewellery cost enough.

[Tryharder62]

Originally Posted by Lancecastor

There's more than one side to your "discussion"....but if not, take it to The Playground.

The fact is it takes two to tango and you are here every day looking for love and blaming your lonliness on your Husband.

If you spent even 1 of the several hours per day you are spending here on attending to your Husband, you'd be better off.

And everyone who has ever been in a LTR knows that to be true.

So fuck off with the insults, whiner.

You know I can post wherever the hell I want. Unlike men, I can also multitask, I have the laundry and dishes going while supper is starting to cook. I have the bills paid and the patches sewn on my kids uniform. I already said it takes two to tango and that I have probably stepped on my his feet many times. I started this thread to get some ideas. New fresh ideas. I could walk out the door but he's worth it or I wouldn't have married him. He's a great father to two great kids. I just want some of the spark back.

As to the insults, who's the whiner now. You are after my butt all the time but you can't take a little.

[lovetoread]

Originally Posted by Lancecastor

There's more than one side to your "discussion"....but if not, take it to The Playground.

The fact is it takes two to tango and you are here every day looking for love and blaming your lonliness on your Husband.

If you spent even 1 of the several hours per day you are spending here on attending to your Husband, you'd be better off.

And everyone who has ever been in a LTR knows that to be true.

So fuck off with the insults, whiner.

Originally Posted by Sinny

You are patting yourself on the back for "letting" him be with friends? That's half your problem there. You are reluctant to recognize that the most successful partners are ones who cultivate friendships and a life away from a marriage. Also, print out what Riles wrote and tape it to your wallet so you can read it every day. You also should turn off your PMs here and don't distract yourself with men who are going to make your gaping void bigger than it already is (read that how you like). If you spent half the time you spend here bitching about your husband actually working on your relationship, you'd probably figure out some of your problems. Or are you one of those women who just needs to go on and on and on about how miserable her life is without doing something about it? Take control of your own life.

This.

The biggest mistake of my marriage was lit.

My self esteem was so low, I just others make me feel better, which did not help nor spice up my marriage.

A divorce and 12 years later, I have learned a thing or two.

Either put on your big girl panties and get off of here and fix your marriage, or drop the charade about loving Jesus and just fucking ask for cyber from a man or two. Stop being pathetically obvious about what you really want but wont admit it. Its not a crime to be wanted, but it is a sin to be wanted like the way you want to be wanted by the men on here.

Sheesh, there are loads of guys here willing do this with you.

[GinaeEvans]

Originally Posted by Tryharder62

Well this is not an exhaustive list but I try to let him do the activities he wants to do with his buddies. Several who are divorced have told him how lucky he is that I don't complain about it. I try to be interested in his "hobbies" and things that he likes to do. I work part time and he works full time so I try to make it that he doesn't have anything he has to do when he gets home so he can spend time with the kids. I'm not the best cook and we probably grab food out more than we should. I'm not the best housekeeper but our house is comfortable. I never say no to sex. I give him massages anytime he asks for them and sometimes even when he doesn't. I try to initiate different things in sex. I've suggested we maybe talk to somebody but he said no. I tell him I need him and want him. Who knows.

Two sides to each coin. Fact of the matter is, you've been saying the same things over and over in this thread, people have given you advice, and then the cycle starts again.

Time to have a serious sit-down with the manpanion. If he says no, tell him tough shit. Follow him around and talk if that's what it takes to get your point across.

Your marriage is in trouble. That's obvious to anyone, even me. And I've only been here for a brief time. Time to to stop asking strangers for help.

BTW: This forum likely isn't the best place for serious advice, anyhow.

[Sinny]

Originally Posted by Lancecastor

Ca-ching.

She probably thinks a blow job is something she "gives" him as a "special treat" if the jewellery cost enough.

I have dumped more women friends than I can count who follow that pathology. I call them the Toxic Brigade. Little girls in the bodies of women, refusing to take responsibility for their own unhappiness. It's always someone else's fault! Why should they have to accept blame for the life they created and accepted? Wah. Wah. Wah. It gets so tiring.

[Tryharder62]

Originally Posted by Sinny

You are patting yourself on the back for "letting" him be with friends? That's half your problem there. You are reluctant to recognize that the most successful partners are ones who cultivate friendships and a life away from a marriage. Also, print out what Riles wrote and tape it to your wallet so you can read it every day. You also should turn off your PMs here and don't distract yourself with men who are going to make your gaping void bigger than it already is (read that how you like). If you spent half the time you spend here bitching about your husband actually working on your relationship, you'd probably figure out some of your problems. Or are you one of those women who just needs to go on and on and on about how miserable her life is without doing something about it? Take control of your own life.

I'm not patting my back I was asked and I do recongize that him having friendships are important. That is why I am all for it. No I am not one of those women.

[Sinny]

Originally Posted by lovetoread

This.

The biggest mistake of my marriage was lit.

My self esteem was so low, I just others make me feel better, which did not help nor spice up my marriage.

A divorce and 12 years later, I have learned a thing or two.

Either put on your big girl panties and get off of here and fix your marriage, or drop the charade about loving Jesus and just fucking ask for cyber from a man or two. Stop being pathetically obvious about what you really want but wont admit it. Its not a crime to be wanted, but it is a sin to be wanted like the way you want to be wanted by the men on here.

Sheesh, there are loads of guys here willing do this with you.

^^ very smart woman. Listen to her, OP.
Of course you won't. But you should.

[Tryharder62]

Originally Posted by Sinny

I have dumped more women friends than I can count who follow that pathology. I call them the Toxic Brigade. Little girls in the bodies of women, refusing to take responsibility for their own unhappiness. It's always someone else's fault! Why should they have to accept blame for the life they created and accepted? Wah. Wah. Wah. It gets so tiring.

Do I have to point out again that I was trying to get ideas for what I could do to improve things. Duh?

[Sinny]

Originally Posted by Tryharder62

Do I have to point out again that I was trying to get ideas for what I could do to improve things. Duh?

In between the pleas for men here to pay you sexual attention? Listen, you say in one post he ignores you. You say in another you're trying to fix your marriage. In yet another post, you flirt mercilessly and say the most sexually suggestive things. How self aware are you?

[GinaeEvans]

Originally Posted by lovetoread

This.

The biggest mistake of my marriage was lit.

My self esteem was so low, I just others make me feel better, which did not help nor spice up my marriage.

A divorce and 12 years later, I have learned a thing or two.

Either put on your big girl panties and get off of here and fix your marriage, or drop the charade about loving Jesus and just fucking ask for cyber from a man or two. Stop being pathetically obvious about what you really want but wont admit it. Its not a crime to be wanted, but it is a sin to be wanted like the way you want to be wanted by the men on here.

Sheesh, there are loads of guys here willing do this with you.

^ Yes.

Make sure the husband knows about your Lit account. Mine does. He even has his own account.

[Tryharder62]

Originally Posted by Sinny

^^ very smart woman. Listen to her, OP.
Of course you won't. But you should.

You don't know me so don't tell me you know what I will do.

[Riles]

Originally Posted by Tryharder62

Well this is not an exhaustive list but I try to let him do the activities he wants to do with his buddies. Several who are divorced have told him how lucky he is that I don't complain about it. I try to be interested in his "hobbies" and things that he likes to do. I work part time and he works full time so I try to make it that he doesn't have anything he has to do when he gets home so he can spend time with the kids. I'm not the best cook and we probably grab food out more than we should. I'm not the best housekeeper but our house is comfortable. I never say no to sex. I give him massages anytime he asks for them and sometimes even when he doesn't. I try to initiate different things in sex. I've suggested we maybe talk to somebody but he said no. I tell him I need him and want him. Who knows.

Okay, I'm not going to berate you for being on Lit - I don't know why you're here or what your expectations are out of your time. If you truly are seeking advice and not just wanting to sound off about your disappointments, then think you are better off with a therapist. It's far to easy to be pulled off course by all the cavorting that happens 24/7 to make this place the hardware store for broken relationships.

That being said, let me just address your post and the list you created.

Very little of that has anything to do with the intimate relationship between you and your husband. It's all about making his life easier, yes, and maybe in a sitcom kind of way it should read that you are the ideal wife....but none of that means diddley squat if the currency you are wanting him to pay back in isn't the typical 'honeydo list' stuff.

[Tryharder62]

Thanks everybody for the advice.

[hogjack]

Originally Posted by lovetoread

It's not a crime to be wanted.

Having watched every episode of John Walsh's America's Most Wanted syndicated program for 22 years I can tell you it is a crime.

And the actors in the re-enactments should be Emmy-nominated.

[lovetoread]

Originally Posted by hogjack

Having watched every episode of John Walsh's America's Most Wanted syndicated program for 22 years I can tell you it is a crime.

And the actors in the re-enactments should be Emmy-nominated.

Ok, let me rephrase.

It is not a crime to be wanted sexually to boost your self esteem.

And I am so old, I remember when it came on.