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View Poll Results: Ladies: Did you keep your maiden name after marrying?
Yes. 2 7.41%
No. 16 59.26%
I'm a dude, and I just wanted to vote on SOMEthing. 9 33.33%
Voters: 27. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-17-2013, 10:32 AM   #26
McKenna
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KRCummings View Post
Of course I changed my name. It's part of marriage and I'm not an idiot who thinks a name really means a whole lot.
It's not part of all marriages in every culture. And if a name is just a name that doesn't mean a whole lot, why not keep your maiden name? Kinda goes both ways, I guess.


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Originally Posted by oggbashan View Post
One of my names is a grandmothers' maiden name. That helped when I started family history research, even if it is inconvenient to have four names. Other male members of the family have perpetuated the grandfather, great-grandfather, and great-great-grandfather's (and so on) Christian name, but as the younger son of a younger son I didn't need to.

I have three daughters. One is unmarried so still has my surname. One used her maiden name as her professional name until she changed employers and needed a new start.

The youngest, an MD, has kept her maiden name for professional purposes and added my surname as a additional Christian name to her full married name. She is married to a medical Ph.D so it is convenient that he is Doctor X and she is Doctor Y.

Socially they are Doctor (his Christian name) and Doctor (her Christian name). At work they use their separate surnames as listed in professional registers but she is often called "Doctor Cake". She gets given too much cake and sometimes she has to take drastic measures to exercise away the consequences.
Wait, you have four surnames?!

You brought up keeping names for professional reasons, I think that's a pretty valid reason. I also think it's becoming more commonplace. My sister uses her maiden name for professional reasons, but her son has a hyphenated last name (my sister's surname and her lesbian partner's surname). But that brings up a whole 'nother can o' worms, namely, gay and lesbian marriages. Who takes whose name?

After going through hoops to get all of my information updated everywhere when I moved, I can't imagine how much more a pain in the ass it would be to go through a name change. Social Security, passport, credit cards, banking, etc.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:07 AM   #27
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My current wife kept her maiden name when we married because she went through the name change ordeal after her first marriage and then again after her divorce. It's wasn't an issue for me.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:10 AM   #28
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Yes. I wasn't ready to give away that part of me.


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Old 01-17-2013, 11:11 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McKenna View Post
It's not part of all marriages in every culture. And if a name is just a name that doesn't mean a whole lot, why not keep your maiden name? Kinda goes both ways, I guess.

I don't live in other cultures. Neither do 99% of the people here.
Convention is to change your name so I change it because it's just a word. Keeping it goes against convention for no apparent reason. If there were a reason then I'd keep it. So no it doesn't go both ways.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:19 AM   #30
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I was in school when I got married so I changed it then; I knew that professionally I wanted to use his name and it was easier to change it before graduation. Also I like it better than my maiden name.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:24 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McKenna View Post
...



Wait, you have four surnames?!
No. Two Christian names, one of which is inherited from a great-uncle, and the third name was my grandmother's maiden name which can be a male Christian name. My real surname is very rare. Almost all of those who share my surname are related if we trace back to the late 18th Century.

It has always been spelled the same way with no variations. We think that is because our ancestors were printers and scriveners before printing. Almost everyone in my paternal tree was able to read and write - going back six hundred and fifty years. The men and women could write. None of the birth, baptism, marriage or death certificates state 'X his/her mark'. They all had clearly legible signatures.

Even Julius Caesar in his Gallic War spelled our surname correctly, allowing for the translation into Latin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by McKenna View Post
After going through hoops to get all of my information updated everywhere when I moved, I can't imagine how much more a pain in the ass it would be to go through a name change. Social Security, passport, credit cards, banking, etc.
In the UK it is reasonably easy to change a surname if you have a marriage certificate. It is almost as easy by Deed Poll. Recently a solicitor's practice was offering Deed Poll name changes at fifteen pounds for everything.
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Old 01-17-2013, 12:43 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KRCummings View Post
I don't live in other cultures. Neither do 99% of the people here.
Convention is to change your name so I change it because it's just a word. Keeping it goes against convention for no apparent reason. If there were a reason then I'd keep it. So no it doesn't go both ways.
I didn't realize that you are so conventional. Nothing I've learned about you here has led me to believe that you are.
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Old 01-17-2013, 01:29 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McKenna View Post
Why or why not?
I did not keep my maiden name. I was proud to be married to my husband and wanted to show him the respect and love I had for him.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:24 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KRCummings View Post
I don't live in other cultures. Neither do 99% of the people here.
Convention is to change your name so I change it because it's just a word. Keeping it goes against convention for no apparent reason. If there were a reason then I'd keep it. So no it doesn't go both ways.
I so did not take you for such a conventionalist. Quelle surprise.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:25 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oggbashan View Post
No. Two Christian names, one of which is inherited from a great-uncle, and the third name was my grandmother's maiden name which can be a male Christian name. My real surname is very rare. Almost all of those who share my surname are related if we trace back to the late 18th Century.

It has always been spelled the same way with no variations. We think that is because our ancestors were printers and scriveners before printing. Almost everyone in my paternal tree was able to read and write - going back six hundred and fifty years. The men and women could write. None of the birth, baptism, marriage or death certificates state 'X his/her mark'. They all had clearly legible signatures.
That's impressive.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:27 PM   #36
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i have a serious marriage phobia so this isn't an issue.
getting married is far, far, far too scary for me.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:30 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by dolf View Post
i have a serious marriage phobia so this isn't an issue.
getting married is far, far, far too scary for me.
This explains why you voted as a dude.

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Old 01-17-2013, 10:40 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by dolf View Post
i have a serious marriage phobia so this isn't an issue.
getting married is far, far, far too scary for me.
^^ this....NEVER in a billion fucking years will I ever give another person the legal right to systematically destroy my life and financial security again. So no women have to bare my horrible name, I don't get fucked over.....no marriage is a win win for everyone!!!
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:12 PM   #39
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I lived with my husband for years before we got married. Taking his name was about the only thing that changed. I had no connection to my father so losing my maiden name was no big deal.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:27 PM   #40
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My wife kept her maiden head after marrying...
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:28 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by glynndah View Post
I lived with my husband for years before we got married. Taking his name was about the only thing that changed. I had no connection to my father so losing my maiden name was no big deal.

I lived with my husband for a couple years before we got married, too. The only thing that changed for us was getting that piece of paper that officially recognized our relationship. I think that's kinda how it should be, you know?
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:30 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by eyer View Post
My wife kept her maiden head after marrying...
You realize this doesn't speak well for you? What happened, no key for the chastity belt?
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:35 PM   #43
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You realize this doesn't speak well for you? What happened, no key for the chastity belt?
More like no crowbar for her legs...
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:39 PM   #44
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More like no crowbar for her legs...
Another happily married man, I see.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:42 PM   #45
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Another happily married man, I see.
Of course I am...

...(wanna meet in chat and type dirty behind our spouses' backs?)
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:44 PM   #46
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Of course I am...

...(wanna meet in chat and type dirty behind our spouses' backs?)
You smooth-talker, you.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:51 PM   #47
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You smooth-typer, you.
Fyp...
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:54 PM   #48
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Fyp...
Do you do this for your wife, too? Because, wow! I bet that never gets annoying or anything.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:59 PM   #49
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Do you do this for your wife, too? Because, wow! I bet that never gets annoying or anything.
Hmmmm, now that I think about it...

...maybe that would have something to do with her thighs eternally closed like a vise.

Any advice, Abby?
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Old 01-18-2013, 07:04 AM   #50
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That's impressive.
The downside was that many of them were in religious orders. They had to be to get the education.

One of them, a Church of England Vicar, wrote a dreadful book which had a significant impact on emigration to Newfoundland, even though he never visited it and apparently never knew anyone who had.

If his sermons were anything like his writing, I assume his parishioners went to sleep.
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