How to talk?

[Maverick1756]

Good day everyone.

I just left a thread on fetish and sexuality, about my girlfriend.

I kind of chuckle when I say that because I am 51 and my girlfriend is 60 in march.

Keeps us young when you say girlfriend or boyfriend at our age.

What do you call a mature couple going out, old man-old woman, boyfriend-girlfriend?

Why is it so darn hard to open up and talk about likes and dislikes in the bedroom?

I do feel immature about it and we both had a good laugh.

Just found out that she wants to be spanked a bit

Just found out that she loves her bum played with but fingers only.

She told me it would turn her on if I slide between her butt cheeks and cum on her.

All nice things

She loves her breasts sucked, and she said because she felt wonderfull that I would pay that much attention to them, being inverted.

How do I say that maybe, i perhaps would like a spanking too. or that maybe perhaps I would like my butt played with a bit as well,
or maybe perhaps that i like the feel of nice undies.

Gulp. I would appreciate mature replies.

Thanks, Phill

[NippleMuncher]

Originally Posted by Maverick1756

What do you call a mature couple going out, old man-old woman, boyfriend-girlfriend?

Well, if you're a boy, she's a girl, then boyfriend/girlfriend are appropriate terms. Why does it have to be any more complicated than that?

Originally Posted by Maverick1756

How do I say that maybe, i perhaps would like a spanking too. or that maybe perhaps I would like my butt played with a bit as well, or maybe perhaps that i like the feel of nice undies.

You just did with us, now you do the same thing with her. If she was comfortable and open enough to share a few details of herself, why aren't you comfortable sharing a few of yours? Spanking and ass play are pretty damned vanilla things to be worried about a reaction from her, and if she does, then maybe she's not mature enough to handle a relationship with you?

[Maverick1756]

The conversations are this is what i loved the other night, what do you think about.

My darlings answer is whatever you like, so, I am hoping she would say some stuff, I asked her, what do you think about, and her answer is not really used to thinking about it until I met you.

I suppose, its I want her to express some kinkier things that we could try.

Tough to make sense, however I do believe I am not the only one who has embarassesment or difficulty talking about intimate things.

[NippleMuncher]

You're right, sex talk does seem to be a difficult task for most people. I've never understood it myself, but whatever. The thing is, it doesn't matter what the topic is, EVERYTHING gets easier the more you talk about it.

My only major recommendation is that you have your sex chats outside of the bedroom so that there is no pressure or performance anxieties added to the mix. Having these talks outside the bedroom lets you not only discuss them more thoroughly, but research the topics for more information or how-to advice before you proceed..

[Rainshine]

I think Nipples has given the best and only real advice there is to give for this. Talk. Talk. Talk.

[Maverick1756]

outside the bedroom.

Excellent, thank you.

[luvnmyboys]

yes, talk as much as you can. start off slowly if it's easier - share what you like that you are already doing, then start talking about new things to try. the more you talk, the easier it gets.

[bob53]

The trick is when you are talking we MUST be willing to be vulnerable.

You have to own your feelings and desires first then be willing to be vulnerable to your partner and share them.

BOTH of you also have to be truly willing to listen and take it all to heart what your partner is revealing.

[BeachMomma]

I've found that one of the best places for difficult conversations is in the car during a long ride. You have a built-in excuse not to maintain constant eye contact, and nobody can leave in a hurry. The others are right. You have to be willing to be vulnerable, and there has to be a huge level of trust there.

Think of it this way - nothing worthwhile comes easily. These conversations *are* difficult. The pay off is more than worth it though.

As for boyfriend/girlfriend, that works at any age. You could also use lover, friend/special friend, significant other, or other half depending on the level of your relationship. Personally, I like lover.

[eudaemonia]

Originally Posted by BeachMomma

I've found that one of the best places for difficult conversations is in the car during a long ride. You have a built-in excuse not to maintain constant eye contact, and nobody can leave in a hurry. The others are right. You have to be willing to be vulnerable, and there has to be a huge level of trust there.

Excellent advice. And it works!