Need some help

[play2win]

I am in a pretty Vanilla relatioship great sex but aleays pretty plain. Lately she has become a little more sub to me. I guess what i would like is to talk to some ladies that are submissive to there lovers and tell me what they like and kind of coach me into a more dominate role. I know everyone is a little different in what they like and how far they will go bit i need some help in the write direction... lady subs please feel free to PM me.

[Stella_Omega]

Very often, when women say they are becoming submissive, what they really want is that their lover does things to them -- the right things. They also think that it is wrong of them to tell their lover what the things are, because that is not being submissive. So they have to hope he gets it right, and he has to hope he gets it right.

And that's kinda not fair to anyone. Which is why I have written the essay linked to in my sig, and I suggest that you read it and have her read it too. It might not apply to you, but it also might.

There are lots of books out with lots of how to do things-- bondage, wierd sex, painplay-- but you and your lady are going to have to speak up and tell each other what you want.

[play2win]

Originally Posted by Stella_Omega

Very often, when women say they are becoming submissive, what they really want is that their lover does things to them -- the right things. They also think that it is wrong of them to tell their lover what the things are, because that is not being submissive. So they have to hope he gets it right, and he has to hope he gets it right.

And that's kinda not fair to anyone. Which is why I have written the essay linked to in my sig, and I suggest that you read it and have her read it too. It might not apply to you, but it also might.

There are lots of books out with lots of how to do things-- bondage, wierd sex, painplay-- but you and your lady are going to have to speak up and tell each other what you want.

Thanks i will read what you wrote...

[His_pet_slut]

You say "she has become a little more sub to me" but I wonder what context you mean this in. Have you discussed D/s? Sometimes a person may think their partner is expressing submission when they are merely trying to ensure you have enjoyed the encounter. I would encourage you to make sure this is the direction she is going by openly discussing it with her before you try to take a dominant role.

Sally~

[play2win]

Originally Posted by His_pet_slut

You say "she has become a little more sub to me" but I wonder what context you mean this in. Have you discussed D/s? Sometimes a person may think their partner is expressing submission when they are merely trying to ensure you have enjoyed the encounter. I would encourage you to make sure this is the direction she is going by openly discussing it with her before you try to take a dominant role.

Sally~

Thats kind of wear im at... I`m not sure what she wants with what we are doing. We have never discussed it and im not sure if thats wear its even going.... it has never been a verbal submission always more of a physical... not sure if i want to adress maybe just see wear she takes it.

[Anne1105]

Originally Posted by His_pet_slut

You say "she has become a little more sub to me" but I wonder what context you mean this in. Have you discussed D/s? Sometimes a person may think their partner is expressing submission when they are merely trying to ensure you have enjoyed the encounter. I would encourage you to make sure this is the direction she is going by openly discussing it with her before you try to take a dominant role.

Sally~

Exactly this. I already responded to another thread tonight, saying it, so: communication is key. "A little more sub" and "we have never discussed it" (there is a couple more lines like this) tells me you should talk to her about it. Openly. Nothing is more important then being sure, being honest and being safe before you even consider the next step.

Anne