Very often, when women say they are becoming submissive, what they really want is that their lover does things to them -- the right things. They also think that it is wrong of them to tell their lover what the things are, because that is not being submissive. So they have to hope he gets it right, and he has to hope he gets it right.
And that's kinda not fair to anyone. Which is why I have written the essay linked to in my sig, and I suggest that you read it and have her read it too. It might not apply to you, but it also might.
There are lots of books out with lots of how to do things-- bondage, wierd sex, painplay-- but you and your lady are going to have to speak up and tell each other what you want.