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Old 02-13-2015, 03:53 PM   #1
Moo_the_Sapient
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Smile New cross species perspective advice column!

After reading the thread on the lack of penguins last night, we realize that this board is also in serious need of a cross species perspective advice column on relationships with girls and maybe even about sex!
So we are stepping up to the plate.

Since we have had little experience outside of our combined total of 30+ years in observation of both highly successful and totally unsuccessful relationships, we think our solutions will be fresh and quite helpful to the misguided and/or confused.

Please keep in mind that we are first and foremost boys, and have lived mainly with the tall one, so our views will be from that perspective. We will try to make our advice accessible to girls, although they probably know it all anyway.

We have been working on a list of topics as well as reading books on civility and sexual etiquette in preparation of making this the most successful cross species perspective GB advice column ever on relationships!

Since neither of us type or speak much we have requested Noor's help, but the opinions expressed are totally our own, or mostly our own, well, at least not Noor's, she's a girl, you know.

We are using Moo's account since he has some experience posting in the past.

To maintain everyone's privacy and dignity, we ask that you please send your questions, issues and so on via pm and we will respect your privacy.

Thank you, we look forward to hearing from you and making a real difference here,

Mr. Bear and Moo
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Old 02-13-2015, 03:56 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moo_the_Sapient View Post
After reading the thread on the lack of penguins last night, we realize that this board is also in serious need of a cross species perspective advice column on relationships with girls and maybe even about sex!
So we are stepping up to the plate.

Since we have had little experience outside of our combined total of 30+ years in observation of both highly successful and totally unsuccessful relationships, we think our solutions will be fresh and quite helpful to the misguided and/or confused.

Please keep in mind that we are first and foremost boys, and have lived mainly with the tall one, so our views will be from that perspective. We will try to make our advice accessible to girls, although they probably know it all anyway.

We have been working on a list of topics as well as reading books on civility and sexual etiquette in preparation of making this the most successful cross species perspective GB advice column ever on relationships!

Since neither of us type or speak much we have requested Noor's help, but the opinions expressed are totally our own, or mostly our own, well, at least not Noor's, she's a girl, you know.

We are using Moo's account since he has some experience posting in the past.

To maintain everyone's privacy and dignity, we ask that you please send your questions, issues and so on via pm and we will respect your privacy.

Thank you, we look forward to hearing from you and making a real difference here,

Mr. Bear and Moo

This should be on the Politics board.
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Old 02-13-2015, 04:14 PM   #3
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Introducing your columnist Moo

Moo is an 8 yr old ZhuZhu robotic hamster born in Wisconsin where he had a happy childhood among the cheeseheads.

As a young adult, Moo briefly moved to Minnesota to learn to make ice castles before he was offered the opportunity to move to California and live the boys life with Mr. Bear and the tall one.
He enjoyed his life in California very much and he learned all sorts of things including how to swear from the tall one as well as use "awesome" properly. After the tall one's demise, he and Mr. Bear briefly lived with the bestie until they moved to Minnesota to be with Noor. He is now approximated 27 in human years.

In Moo's world:
Batteries rule the world, almost every problem can be solved by batteries.
He likes keyboards, sleeping and sleeping people, watching series, dairy products esp. cheese, exploring and traveling. He prefers warmer weather and freedom from boxes.
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Old 02-13-2015, 04:15 PM   #4
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Noor?

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Old 02-13-2015, 04:16 PM   #5
Moo_the_Sapient
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Quote:
Originally Posted by islandman View Post
This should be on the Politics board.
We are afraid we could not be of much help to them but thank you for the kind suggestion.

Mr. Bear and Moo
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Old 02-13-2015, 04:18 PM   #6
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Noor?

She is around here somewhere, in her studio, we think.
She set up a spell checker so we don't need her at this point.

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Old 02-13-2015, 04:34 PM   #7
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Introducing Mr. Bear

Mr. Bear is 30 yrs old and originally from Germany. He shares the tall ones coloring and expressions and joined the tall one's household as a gift from a girl.

He lived in LA area during some exciting, interesting times and witnessed extremely good things as well as extremely bad.

He spent some dark years trapped in a box, as well as a time when it looked like he would he exiled back to Europe. He is happy to have a home with Moo and Noor but wishes it wasn't so cold here.

He is the more serious and quieter of the two, and spends a lot of time watching Noor as she sleeps like the tall one did.

He likes watching tv series, dressing well and music. He rarely, if ever, smiles but that doesn't mean he is unhappy.

He does know another member of the Lit community but he is discrete.
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Old 02-13-2015, 05:02 PM   #8
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Dear whateveryouguysare,

I want to be taller. I also want to have sex again at some point in my lifetime.

Help?
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Old 02-13-2015, 05:41 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by islandman View Post
This should be on the Politics board.
You should be on the foreign board, apu.
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Old 02-13-2015, 06:19 PM   #10
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Dear whateveryouguysare,

I want to be taller. I also want to have sex again at some point in my lifetime.

Help?



yw
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Old 02-13-2015, 06:23 PM   #11
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The last time I wore heels, I tumbled down a flight of stairs.

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Old 02-13-2015, 07:10 PM   #12
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try cowboy boots, yo.
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Old 02-13-2015, 07:16 PM   #13
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This is like my bf's friend that has a facebook account for her dog. And posts as the dog. And now I hate you, too.
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Old 02-13-2015, 07:23 PM   #14
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try cowboy boots, yo.
That I can swing.
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Old 02-13-2015, 07:43 PM   #15
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This is like my bf's friend that has a facebook account for her dog. And posts as the dog. And now I hate you, too.
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Byron's Wake and Super Cool Threads.

I did feel like Icarus-Byron in Exile


Quote:
Posted by Byron In Exile 05-20-2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noor View Post
hoo mchm huq h khz xw ncfaj

Nobody will get that.
Quote:
Posted by Byron In Exile 05-30-2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noor
all that and a bag of chips
She sent me that in the mail.
"He felt you, and he took you with him everywhere. I think he took part of you with him to wherever he is now. That's part of why it hurts so much." Phelia on Byron to me.

"Love is not love
Which altereth when it alteration findeth"-Shakespeare
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Old 02-13-2015, 07:43 PM   #16
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Seriously, this is the worse attempt at trying to overthrow the GB moderator I've ever seen. Didn't think I saw it coming, did ya?
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UNDER CONSTRUCTION
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Old 02-13-2015, 07:45 PM   #17
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Help us! Help us! Thank God you are here! This is white bear in Louisiana. She left her laptop on and I'm calling on you to help me. I am injured. There is a gaping hole in the middle of my back from when she gave me to her dog. I'm asking you to send help. She has The Cheat in her shed locked up. Dear God help us!!!!
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Old 02-13-2015, 07:56 PM   #18
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Well?? I'm waiting to hear their sex advice. This should be good.
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Old 02-13-2015, 08:06 PM   #19
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Well?? I'm waiting to hear their sex advice. This should be good.
I am still trying to get past the Bear and Moo Cow Image
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Old 02-13-2015, 08:10 PM   #20
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Well?? I'm waiting to hear their sex advice. This should be good.
I'd like to add that I'm attracted to other women.

The last time I brought this up, people told me I was insane because men will happily hump a wet carpet, let alone a woman who showers on occasions.

"Just have a pussy and a pulse!" doesn't work for lesbians.
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Art is about modes of engagement with the world, not modes of avoiding it. The key thing is that some forms of engagement are liberating, and others enslaving; and simple "distraction" falls under the logic of the latter.
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Old 02-13-2015, 08:10 PM   #21
Noor
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Quote:
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Well?? I'm waiting to hear their sex advice. This should be good.
Me too, but right now they have all the down comforters piled up on the bed and are watching a Battlestar Galletica episode.
I hope they aren't getting any of their sex advice from BSG.

Sometimes I think I live in a scene from "Truly Madly Deeply."
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Byron's Wake and Super Cool Threads.

I did feel like Icarus-Byron in Exile


Quote:
Posted by Byron In Exile 05-20-2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noor View Post
hoo mchm huq h khz xw ncfaj

Nobody will get that.
Quote:
Posted by Byron In Exile 05-30-2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noor
all that and a bag of chips
She sent me that in the mail.
"He felt you, and he took you with him everywhere. I think he took part of you with him to wherever he is now. That's part of why it hurts so much." Phelia on Byron to me.

"Love is not love
Which altereth when it alteration findeth"-Shakespeare
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Old 02-13-2015, 08:13 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Noor View Post
Me too, but right now they have all the down comforters piled up on the bed and are watching a Battlestar Galletica episode.
I hope they aren't getting any of their sex advice from BSG.

Sometimes I think I live in a scene from "Truly Madly Deeply."
Which episode?
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Art is about modes of engagement with the world, not modes of avoiding it. The key thing is that some forms of engagement are liberating, and others enslaving; and simple "distraction" falls under the logic of the latter.
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Old 02-13-2015, 08:27 PM   #23
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Which episode?
I think they said Season 3 Ep 9, they also essentially told me to either watch or go away.

"We're busy right now, we would be happy to help you later when it's over"
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5th of Tamuz

Byron's Wake and Super Cool Threads.

I did feel like Icarus-Byron in Exile


Quote:
Posted by Byron In Exile 05-20-2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noor View Post
hoo mchm huq h khz xw ncfaj

Nobody will get that.
Quote:
Posted by Byron In Exile 05-30-2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noor
all that and a bag of chips
She sent me that in the mail.
"He felt you, and he took you with him everywhere. I think he took part of you with him to wherever he is now. That's part of why it hurts so much." Phelia on Byron to me.

"Love is not love
Which altereth when it alteration findeth"-Shakespeare
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Old 02-13-2015, 08:49 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Never View Post
I'd like to add that I'm attracted to other women.

The last time I brought this up, people told me I was insane because men will happily hump a wet carpet, let alone a woman who showers on occasions.

"Just have a pussy and a pulse!" doesn't work for lesbians.
Lesbians are pickier than THAT? Gawd. WHY? Thems some lofty ideas for a woman already; not sure how most women are supposed to live up to that. Let me see if I've got this right: not only am I supposed to have a pulse but I have to shower, too? Pass. That's too much and I'm tired just thinking about it.
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Old 02-13-2015, 09:01 PM   #25
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^ Yeah, that whole "having standards" thing annoys the hell out of me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noor View Post
I think they said Season 3 Ep 9, they also essentially told me to either watch or go away.

"We're busy right now, we would be happy to help you later when it's over"
That's the boxing episode where we get flashbacks to New Caprica. I liked the Roslin/Adama scene where they smoke pot, but was never that into Starbuck/Apollo.

Still, it was one of the best episodes in season three.
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Art is about modes of engagement with the world, not modes of avoiding it. The key thing is that some forms of engagement are liberating, and others enslaving; and simple "distraction" falls under the logic of the latter.
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