Originally Posted by sr71plt
This is your only story posted here and it's four years old. Were you planning on starting up again? That's a lot of time without writing/posting anything--and wanting comment on a story that far in your writing past.
Agree with CC3 on the commas. The prevalent problem is the run-on sentences you create by slapping independent clauses together with commas. Saw one here/hear miscue also before signing out on a read. Signed out, though, when (in addition to this not being my "thing") they'd been together for three months and were sleeping together even, but in their clothes and with lots of tease but no sex yet (the night before this event, they'd had hours of foreplay and her teasing him--in bed--with him in his jeans, and she just turns over and goes to sleep). Need to be a bit more believable for me in set up than this.
The writing is smooth (given the right punctuation), though and descriptions and imaging is being done well.
Hi, yes I'm looking to start writing again. I didn't receive any comments on it when I posted it, so wasn't sure what people thought of it. I also have more time to write now, so hoping to get back to it. Got too many half finished projects on my hard drive!
I get what you mean about the level of belief in the situation, especially after reading more stories myself. I get very 'meh' about stories when I just can't believe it. Use of commas is something I've worked on over the years at uni, so hopefully if I manage to write and finish something it'll be up to scratch punctuation wise
Feedback appreciated though, should help me to write more.
Looking for sexual outlet and inspiration
into all sorts of kinky fuckery in my mind,not so sure about physically...maybe I'll find enough inspiration here!
My one and only attempt at erotic writing (so far) : http://www.literotica.com/s/my-dirty-little-cum-slut