Originally Posted by derapas
For those casting opinions on my recording I accept your right to voice the opinions. I have always been transparent about my sexual needs and only want transparency and sexual fulfillment for my wife. If there are areas of sexual needs that are not being provided by me I want to support her and do just that. Maybe this is an area she wants to keep hidden but I don't want her feeling like she needs to find her thing with someone else.
Openly I do not understand much about BDSM and the psychology behind it. That is why I opened up and posted this on the forum. I am not sure what she is doing restraint,clamps/pain. If I had a better idea I could guide the conversation again when the time is right. With a house full of kids our time together is kinda limited at the moment. So again any help or thoughts are very appreciated. You can always message me as well.
Thank you to all who have posted insights beyond judgements.
The only thing you can do is talk with her. Maybe tell her some desires of your own to get her to open up. If you think it's clamps, restraints and pain she's exploring, you can simply move the discussion towards that direction, ask her how she feels about it and tell her that you've been thinking about it. Just make sure you don't push too hard and make her feel uncomfortable. Forcing isn't going to lead you anywhere, if she's not willing to spill the beans. She'll likely just clam up even more.
Or get the discussion going in the throes of sexual passion. Pinch her nipples and ask her how she likes it.
I think the most important thing is that you make sure she knows she doesn't have to hide her sexual preferences, but that you're fine with her having a little secret of her own. Because why wouldn't you be fine with it? Maybe having a secret adds to the thrill of whatever she is doing and letting you in the loop might spoil it for her. Can't you support her simply by letting her have her own thing, if she doesn't want to share it?
If someone here does figure out what it is that she's doing, but she still doesn't want to tell you about her masturbatory preferences or discuss the matter any further, would you be ok with that?