Old 03-03-2014, 12:13 PM   #1
derapas
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Help Request

Hello All,

This is my first post and am needing some help.Not sure where to start but here it goes. I have been married to my wife for 25 years. She is highly sexual multi-orgasmic and never really wants to do anything other than conventional sex as in intercourse,oral,manual orgasms. She loves her orgasms and comes fast and wants a lot.

I have asked her if there is something more a turn-on she wants to explore and she has always said no..nothing. I know she also loves to masturbate when alone and has had forever an out of control older wand that makes a Hitachi seem tame. We have had conversations about masturbation. She knows I am turned on by watching women masturbate and orgasm and she loves to show that side when we make love. I ask her what she thinks about when she masturbates and she said nothing but me. But something inside me has always felt she is hiding something.

Last week I went out twice in the morning and left my computer in the room on audio record knowing she would have some good alone time. Both recordings of her masturbation session are almost identical. She enters the bedroom gets out of here clothes and I hear a heavy bag drop on the counter with metallic sounds. I then hear some clicks. I then hear something sound like it is being loaded and cocked a sound like chach-chick...almost like a cartridge. She removes the covers from the bed goes to the drawer pulls of the wand goes to the bed and starts vibing. In 40 secs she has an orgasm and keeps going for another 20 secs. She turns off the vibe and I hear loud sounds of metal/chains/rings something hit the floor. She then puts the stuff away and is done. I have not found any of her stuff she hides it very well or she is using things in plain site. I am thinking nipple clamps but there is some serious heavy metal.

Clearly she is into clamps/restraints..pain/pleasure. I cannot figure out what she is using that requires a cocking sound? Almost like something being loaded in a cartridge. I want her to feel free to express her sexuality. Welcome all insights for the experts.

Thanks in advance for your time and thoughts!
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Old 03-03-2014, 12:32 PM   #2
Pachet
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I have to admit, this made me giggle.

Do you guys own guns?
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Old 03-03-2014, 12:46 PM   #3
derapas
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Originally Posted by Pachet View Post
I have to admit, this made me giggle.

Do you guys own guns?
Ha no..none at all and not sure but will say I hear something being dropped like a ball into a cartridge sounds bit more like plastic cocking than metal...
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Old 03-03-2014, 01:00 PM   #4
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Ha no..none at all and not sure but will say I hear something being dropped like a ball into a cartridge sounds bit more like plastic cocking than metal...
Batteries being put in/removed?
I do find it odd that you record her after 25 years of marriage.
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Old 03-03-2014, 01:21 PM   #5
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Gonna be honest here: just ask her!

The recording thing is crazy. She's your wife. She's not an alien being who you need to study from a distance.

You might have to be a bit careful about broaching the subject, but I'm sure she'll be happy to discuss it once you've got over the initial awkwardness.
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Old 03-03-2014, 01:28 PM   #6
seela
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Originally Posted by derapas View Post
Clearly she is into clamps/restraints..pain/pleasure. I cannot figure out what she is using that requires a cocking sound? Almost like something being loaded in a cartridge. I want her to feel free to express her sexuality. Welcome all insights for the experts.
Doesn't she already feel free to express her sexuality, if she's playing on her own?

You've asked her to tell about her fantasies and for one reason or another she doesn't want to share with you, at least not right now. Respect that and let her tell you when she feels like she's ready. Let her know you're supportive of her sexualty, but don't pressure her. Just get the discussion rolling and you'll get far better results than recording her.

I'm sorry, but I find it really creepy that you'd record her without her consent, especially in order to find out how she masturbates. Even though you've been married for a long time, she's still a person of her own, and maybe this just is something that she wants to keep to herself.
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Old 03-03-2014, 02:11 PM   #7
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For those casting opinions on my recording I accept your right to voice the opinions. I have always been transparent about my sexual needs and only want transparency and sexual fulfillment for my wife. If there are areas of sexual needs that are not being provided by me I want to support her and do just that. Maybe this is an area she wants to keep hidden but I don't want her feeling like she needs to find her thing with someone else.

Openly I do not understand much about BDSM and the psychology behind it. That is why I opened up and posted this on the forum. I am not sure what she is doing restraint,clamps/pain. If I had a better idea I could guide the conversation again when the time is right. With a house full of kids our time together is kinda limited at the moment. So again any help or thoughts are very appreciated. You can always message me as well.

Thank you to all who have posted insights beyond judgements.
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Old 03-03-2014, 02:28 PM   #8
IrisAlthea
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Quote:
Originally Posted by derapas View Post
For those casting opinions on my recording I accept your right to voice the opinions. I have always been transparent about my sexual needs and only want transparency and sexual fulfillment for my wife. If there are areas of sexual needs that are not being provided by me I want to support her and do just that. Maybe this is an area she wants to keep hidden but I don't want her feeling like she needs to find her thing with someone else.

Openly I do not understand much about BDSM and the psychology behind it. That is why I opened up and posted this on the forum. I am not sure what she is doing restraint,clamps/pain. If I had a better idea I could guide the conversation again when the time is right. With a house full of kids our time together is kinda limited at the moment. So again any help or thoughts are very appreciated. You can always message me as well.

Thank you to all who have posted insights beyond judgements.
It's one thing to want transparency and ask for it. It's a whole other ballgame to record your partner without their knowledge and consent. Something that has nothing to do with transparency.
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Old 03-03-2014, 02:30 PM   #9
seela
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Quote:
Originally Posted by derapas View Post
For those casting opinions on my recording I accept your right to voice the opinions. I have always been transparent about my sexual needs and only want transparency and sexual fulfillment for my wife. If there are areas of sexual needs that are not being provided by me I want to support her and do just that. Maybe this is an area she wants to keep hidden but I don't want her feeling like she needs to find her thing with someone else.

Openly I do not understand much about BDSM and the psychology behind it. That is why I opened up and posted this on the forum. I am not sure what she is doing restraint,clamps/pain. If I had a better idea I could guide the conversation again when the time is right. With a house full of kids our time together is kinda limited at the moment. So again any help or thoughts are very appreciated. You can always message me as well.

Thank you to all who have posted insights beyond judgements.
The only thing you can do is talk with her. Maybe tell her some desires of your own to get her to open up. If you think it's clamps, restraints and pain she's exploring, you can simply move the discussion towards that direction, ask her how she feels about it and tell her that you've been thinking about it. Just make sure you don't push too hard and make her feel uncomfortable. Forcing isn't going to lead you anywhere, if she's not willing to spill the beans. She'll likely just clam up even more.

Or get the discussion going in the throes of sexual passion. Pinch her nipples and ask her how she likes it.

I think the most important thing is that you make sure she knows she doesn't have to hide her sexual preferences, but that you're fine with her having a little secret of her own. Because why wouldn't you be fine with it? Maybe having a secret adds to the thrill of whatever she is doing and letting you in the loop might spoil it for her. Can't you support her simply by letting her have her own thing, if she doesn't want to share it?

If someone here does figure out what it is that she's doing, but she still doesn't want to tell you about her masturbatory preferences or discuss the matter any further, would you be ok with that?
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Old 03-03-2014, 02:34 PM   #10
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Last edited by drinkz : 04-20-2014 at 01:20 PM.
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