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Sex and new partners for those in the mid 30s

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IrishFun69

Experienced
Joined
Dec 28, 2012
Posts
50
Hi All,

First thread so be gentle-or at least try to play nice ;)

I have hit the dreaded mid 30s. I have led a pretty adventerous sex life, at the mo I have had 56 sexual partners in total since I was 15. About 6 LTRs (over 6 months), a few one monthers, a lot of one nighters and unfortunately a few ladies of the night during dry spells. I also went on holiday to some tourist resorts and to be frank I cleaned up with the British birds :D :D :D

To be honest I think I had a problem when I was younger, I couldn't go literally 2 weeks before I was in someone else's bed. This destroyed a lot of good relationships and friendships which is regrettable.

In the past few years I became more sensible. I got a permanent job (I used to mostly do part-time bar work...free drink and help you pick up a lot of chicks... ;) I also claimed social welfare for a while while I worked on my body-beefcake!! :D ) but now I am on the straight and narrow and work at my own business :D Going great so far.

I also got involved in a LTR. For once I was good and everything held together, we have been together 1.5 years. Nowadays my missus is working abroad so I don't see her much. I have strayed and now have a new lady friend who has a husband who also works overseas for long periods of time. We keep eachother company sexually and don't really remain in contact apart from that.

What I realise is that my relationship has gone south, I don't see a future with my GF. I will end it soon.

Since I hot 31/32 I noticed girls were not that easy to get for me anymore, hence the ladies of the night! It seems that my attraction has wore off. Has any singletons in their mid 30s experienced this??

Thanks,
Rob :D
 
I'm female, so my experience is likely different from yours because of that alone.

I'm mid-30s and have found that I keep getting MORE attention from men. I think it has to do with my self-confidence, the way I carry myself, and knowing how to present myself physically.
 
IrishFun69 said:
Since I hot 31/32 I noticed girls were not that easy to get for me anymore, hence the ladies of the night! It seems that my attraction has wore off. Has any singletons in their mid 30s experienced this??
Click to expand...

it is called a reputation - and I suggest yours stinks

try moving to a new town
 
Things change.

Welcome to the world of having to "work" for it.

And you might think about working on yourself while you are at it.

A half decent body can get you sex.

A half decent body and a good personality will get you quite a bit more sex.

A half decent body and a good personality along with being a good person will have them calling YOU for a date.
 
IrishFun69 said:
Hi All,

First thread so be gentle-or at least try to play nice ;)

I have hit the dreaded mid 30s. I have led a pretty adventerous sex life, at the mo I have had 56 sexual partners in total since I was 15. About 6 LTRs (over 6 months), a few one monthers, a lot of one nighters and unfortunately a few ladies of the night during dry spells. I also went on holiday to some tourist resorts and to be frank I cleaned up with the British birds :D :D :D

To be honest I think I had a problem when I was younger, I couldn't go literally 2 weeks before I was in someone else's bed. This destroyed a lot of good relationships and friendships which is regrettable.

In the past few years I became more sensible. I got a permanent job (I used to mostly do part-time bar work...free drink and help you pick up a lot of chicks... ;) I also claimed social welfare for a while while I worked on my body-beefcake!! :D ) but now I am on the straight and narrow and work at my own business :D Going great so far.

I also got involved in a LTR. For once I was good and everything held together, we have been together 1.5 years. Nowadays my missus is working abroad so I don't see her much. I have strayed and now have a new lady friend who has a husband who also works overseas for long periods of time. We keep eachother company sexually and don't really remain in contact apart from that.

What I realise is that my relationship has gone south, I don't see a future with my GF. I will end it soon.

Since I hot 31/32 I noticed girls were not that easy to get for me anymore, hence the ladies of the night! It seems that my attraction has wore off. Has any singletons in their mid 30s experienced this??

Thanks,
Rob :D
Click to expand...

Where to even begin with this one?! :rolleyes:

Not the dreaded mid-thirties!!! Being the old hag that I am in my forties, I personally think I've gotten better with age in many ways. Yeah the bod isn't exactly what it used to be, but unfortunately I wasn't able to claim social welfare and work on it like some. :rolleyes: I'm more experienced, smarter, and much more confident with my body now than I was 10 or even 20 years ago. To top it off, I'm also more open and aware of my sexuality than I was in the dreaded mid-thirties.

Since it appears you have always been a womanizer, my guess is you are still trying to attract girls in their early 20s instead of ones closer to your own age or *gasp* older. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Could you possibly have "ASS" stamped on your forehead and not realize it?
 
Edensgarden said:
Where to even begin with this one?! :rolleyes:

Not the dreaded mid-thirties!!! Being the old hag that I am in my forties, I personally think I've gotten better with age in many ways. Yeah the bod isn't exactly what it used to be, but unfortunately I wasn't able to claim social welfare and work on it like some. :rolleyes: I'm more experienced, smarter, and much more confident with my body now than I was 10 or even 20 years ago. To top it off, I'm also more open and aware of my sexuality than I was in the dreaded mid-thirties.

Since it appears you have always been a womanizer, my guess is you are still trying to attract girls in their early 20s instead of ones closer to your own age or *gasp* older. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Could you possibly have "ASS" stamped on your forehead and not realize it?
Click to expand...

ooookkkkkk, I said I was new here, please don't attack me for being HONEST! I could have pretended to be Mr. Nice Guy to to be honest I figured it was better not to hold anything back...

A couple of things;

Don't call yourself a hag pet! I see you are jumping to conclusions from my post...if you really want to know I once dated a 45 year old for 6 months when I was 31. It was amazing and magical. She had some issues I think because she could never find anyone to have kids with, that ended the relationship in the end. She wanted to give a last chance with me but I decided that when I was 45 she would be 59. A bit crazy don't you think? Well it wasn't right for me so I decided not to settle down.

I see you are not happy with my social welfare comment, well, there is 15% unemployment in my country, I was just putting a bright side on my time out of work. Of course, if it was like the good old USA we could just print some more money eh..?

Anyway back on topic, I get what people are saying here. My body is better than what it ever was but as I work longer hours I am finding it hard to keep. It will sag too over time. My GF is flying back to work on Januray 2nd. I have already been visiting escort websites to see if maybe I could get something in the day she leaves. I think I have developed a problem, getting a bit addicted to quick and easy sex. A bit like those porno freaks on the internet I guess.
 
IrishFun69 said:
ooookkkkkk, I said I was new here, please don't attack me for being HONEST! I could have pretended to be Mr. Nice Guy to to be honest I figured it was better not to hold anything back...

A couple of things;

Don't call yourself a hag pet! I see you are jumping to conclusions from my post...if you really want to know I once dated a 45 year old for 6 months when I was 31. It was amazing and magical. She had some issues I think because she could never find anyone to have kids with, that ended the relationship in the end. She wanted to give a last chance with me but I decided that when I was 45 she would be 59. A bit crazy don't you think? Well it wasn't right for me so I decided not to settle down.

I see you are not happy with my social welfare comment, well, there is 15% unemployment in my country, I was just putting a bright side on my time out of work. Of course, if it was like the good old USA we could just print some more money eh..?

Anyway back on topic, I get what people are saying here. My body is better than what it ever was but as I work longer hours I am finding it hard to keep. It will sag too over time. My GF is flying back to work on Januray 2nd. I have already been visiting escort websites to see if maybe I could get something in the day she leaves. I think I have developed a problem, getting a bit addicted to quick and easy sex. A bit like those porno freaks on the internet I guess.
Click to expand...

Welcome and a couple of quick things that may make your stay a bit smoother :).

The How-To crowd tends to be very honest, and will rarely sugar-coat their advice and opinion. Affirming those who seem to be seeking validation is not how the regulars operate. Furthermore, you don't seem to be posing a question, which makes some posters wondering if you're bragging (I mean, seriously, is your 'number' really that important to the post?).

And I'm pretty sure that Eden wouldn't be too too thrilled with being called 'pet'. Just sayin'. And there's high unemployment EVERYWHERE. In some places, the USofA, for example, being on welfare means that they can barely pay rent and feed themselves and their children.

Again, just thought I'd point this out.

As for some advice, I really think you need to figure out what you want and why. If you want to play the field and fuck around, rock on, but be damn sure that you know the reasons why and that you're honest with others and yourself.

Good luck and enjoy your time on Lit :).
 
fire_breeze said:
Welcome and a couple of quick things that may make your stay a bit smoother :).

The How-To crowd tends to be very honest, and will rarely sugar-coat their advice and opinion. Affirming those who seem to be seeking validation is not how the regulars operate. Furthermore, you don't seem to be posing a question, which makes some posters wondering if you're bragging (I mean, seriously, is your 'number' really that important to the post?).

And I'm pretty sure that Eden wouldn't be too too thrilled with being called 'pet'. Just sayin'. And there's high unemployment EVERYWHERE. In some places, the USofA, for example, being on welfare means that they can barely pay rent and feed themselves and their children.

Again, just thought I'd point this out.

As for some advice, I really think you need to figure out what you want and why. If you want to play the field and fuck around, rock on, but be damn sure that you know the reasons why and that you're honest with others and yourself.

Good luck and enjoy your time on Lit :).
Click to expand...

The first nice poster on lit...! :D

Thanks fire breeze. Well I will admit that I fucked around a lot. I think it is getting on top of me know.

Well my number is not important, it is not the number that counts, it is the quality of the experience.

I guess my Q is, has any other males experienced this and are there any ways to continue to seek attraction into your 40s and beyond?
 
IrishFun69 said:
ooookkkkkk, I said I was new here, please don't attack me for being HONEST! I could have pretended to be Mr. Nice Guy to to be honest I figured it was better not to hold anything back...

A couple of things;

Don't call yourself a hag pet! I see you are jumping to conclusions from my post...if you really want to know I once dated a 45 year old for 6 months when I was 31. It was amazing and magical. She had some issues I think because she could never find anyone to have kids with, that ended the relationship in the end. She wanted to give a last chance with me but I decided that when I was 45 she would be 59. A bit crazy don't you think? Well it wasn't right for me so I decided not to settle down.

I see you are not happy with my social welfare comment, well, there is 15% unemployment in my country, I was just putting a bright side on my time out of work. Of course, if it was like the good old USA we could just print some more money eh..?

Anyway back on topic, I get what people are saying here. My body is better than what it ever was but as I work longer hours I am finding it hard to keep. It will sag too over time. My GF is flying back to work on Januray 2nd. I have already been visiting escort websites to see if maybe I could get something in the day she leaves. I think I have developed a problem, getting a bit addicted to quick and easy sex. A bit like those porno freaks on the internet I guess.
Click to expand...

Sarcasm....it's called sarcasm.

I in no way think I'm a hag. It was my way of pointing out how you seem to make getting older sound like the end of the world and sex as we know it.

It's really all a mindset. If you dread getting older then you probably are going to have a dreadful experience aging. Could it be that you convey this attitude to women now as opposed to the confidence it sounds like you had in your merry younger years? Maybe you aren't turning the heads of the 20 year olds like you once did, but I bet if you came down to earth a bit you would be surprised of the heads you really are turning.

I think everyone experiences what you are going through to some extent, both male and female. You just have to decide if you are going to embrace it optimistically or not.
 
Edensgarden said:
Sarcasm....it's called sarcasm.

I in no way think I'm a hag. It was my way of pointing out how you seem to make getting older sound like the end of the world and sex as we know it.

It's really all a mindset. If you dread getting older then you probably are going to have a dreadful experience aging. Could it be that you convey this attitude to women now as opposed to the confidence it sounds like you had in your merry younger years? Maybe you aren't turning the heads of the 20 year olds like you once did, but I bet if you came down to earth a bit you would be surprised of the heads you really are turning.

I think everyone experiences what you are going through to some extent, both male and female. You just have to decide if you are going to embrace it optimistically or not.
Click to expand...
He definitely isn't turning the heads of 20yr olds hehe
But to the OP.... on a serious note I do hope you sort yourself out. Life is too short!
 
IrishFun69 said:
The first nice poster on lit...! :D

Thanks fire breeze. Well I will admit that I fucked around a lot. I think it is getting on top of me know.

Well my number is not important, it is not the number that counts, it is the quality of the experience.

I guess my Q is, has any other males experienced this and are there any ways to continue to seek attraction into your 40s and beyond?
Click to expand...

Sounds like you had fun. In all truthfulness, if that was your mentality and you were in game on mode that number could easily be more than that. I only played the field for a few months when I started dating after the separation and I learned real fast how easy a guy can get laid and not by the same women. Not my lifestyle but welcome aboard Lol....
 
Do I detect a crisis of conscience?

If the relationship with the current GF is going south, perhaps it's better to make the break and spend some time ... ALONE ... and reevaluate what it is that you want.

Some people are happiest playing the field and continue to do so into their 40's, 50's and 60's. But if it's one partner that you want for keeps, take a long, hard, good think about the kind of person you want her to be AND be honest with yourself in determining if you can make that happen. In my hard-learned experience, some people will always stray no matter how good their primary relationship is. They're practiced at it. They love the thrill.

Regardless of which road you want to take, I'm sure you haven't lost your luster. You've just gotten to an age at which your pool of picks close in age are reevaluating their (sex) lives. They either want to settle down or are just tired of men walking in and out of their lives and the bullshit and baggage that comes with it. I know it hit me big time when I was 39 and went without sex for six years. It wasn't that I stopped dating, but I got a whole lot more selective about prospective sex partners.
 
Edensgarden said:
Not the dreaded mid-thirties!!! Being the old hag that I am in my forties, I personally think I've gotten better with age in many ways. Yeah the bod isn't exactly what it used to be
Click to expand...
I'm sure your bod isn't. I guess self praise is no praise.

Edensgarden said:
Since it appears you have always been a womanizer, my guess is you are still trying to attract girls in their early 20s instead of ones closer to your own age or *gasp* older.
Click to expand...


Edensgarden said:
Sarcasm....it's called sarcasm.

I in no way think I'm a hag. It was my way of pointing out how you seem to make getting older sound like the end of the world and sex as we know it.
Click to expand...

Judging by the two quotes it seems that you are concious about your age and are attacking others to reinforce yourself.

Edensgarden said:
Have you looked in the mirror lately? Could you possibly have "ASS" stamped on your forehead and not realize it?
Click to expand...

I thought someone your age would know better than to post generic abuse because out opinions conflict somewhat.
 
MsQuote said:
If the relationship with the current GF is going south, perhaps it's better to make the break and spend some time ... ALONE ... and reevaluate what it is that you want.
Click to expand...

What the hell is the benefit of being alone? Sure, I might save a bit of money, but apart from that no sex at the whim of a phone call? How is that beneficial? I will probably end up spending more on a few escorts just to give me some pleasure than what I would save from less meals out etc. being single!

I thought people here could give some good honest advice instead of attacking me and throwing insults about the place!?!
 
IrishFun69 said:
Since I hot 31/32 I noticed girls were not that easy to get for me anymore, hence the ladies of the night! It seems that my attraction has wore off. Has any singletons in their mid 30s experienced this??

Thanks,
Rob :D
Click to expand...

I think I found the answer to your problem. It was on another thread but here it is.

IrishFun69 said:
Hi all,

In my previous work place I got talking to a work colleague on a work night out. After one drink too many we began to kiss at the end of the night. I went back to her place (after some "nice guy" persuasion) and we had sex, twice I think. The next morning I woke up and realised she wasn't as good looking as I remembered/without make-up. I sucked it up and had sex again to say good bye. And they say chivalry is dead!

***SNIPPED FOR BREVITY***

Anyway, I have been flirting with her and playing the "nice guy" routine. Listening to her problems, being really sweet to her, it is working well.

*** Again snipped for brevity***
Click to expand...

If you act like this guy, you will probably get his reputation. Hope things work out for you. Bless your heart. :(
 
Dying alone is going to suck.
I was once like you,then I grew up.
Good luck man.I hope you get over yourself before it's too late.
 
jman1968 said:
Dying alone is going to suck.
I was once like you,then I grew up.
Good luck man.I hope you get over yourself before it's too late.
Click to expand...

Will you please read the original post? I am asking for other people's experiences, not mere abuse because you are jealous/don't agree with me.
 
IrishFun69 said:
I'm sure your bod isn't. I guess self praise is no praise.

Judging by the two quotes it seems that you are concious about your age and are attacking others to reinforce yourself.

I thought someone your age would know better than to post generic abuse because out opinions conflict somewhat.
Click to expand...


I'm not going to respond to your replies above as it is pointless.

What I am going to respond to is the PM that you sent me a little bit ago. You know, the one where you apologized for insulting me in this thread. If you must know, you didn't insult me, you just reinforced the points I was trying to make.

The person who wrote me the PM has a totally different attitude toward himself than the one posting in this thread. I actually had to reread it a few times to make sure it was from the same person. It seems you have been enlightened a bit after responses you have received from this thread and others. I wish the attitude in the PM had come out in this thread as you would have been better received.

Thank you for the PM and for clarifying a few things. I hope everything works out for you.
 
Edensgarden said:
I'm not going to respond to your replies above as it is pointless.

What I am going to respond to is the PM that you sent me a little bit ago. You know, the one where you apologized for insulting me in this thread. If you must know, you didn't insult me, you just reinforced the points I was trying to make.

The person who wrote me the PM has a totally different attitude toward himself than the one posting in this thread. I actually had to reread it a few times to make sure it was from the same person. It seems you have been enlightened a bit after responses you have received from this thread and others. I wish the attitude in the PM had come out in this thread as you would have been better received.

Thank you for the PM and for clarifying a few things. I hope everything works out for you.
Click to expand...
I would have appreciated keeping my private message, well private. I note you didn't reply in the end (perhaps it is late in your part of the world), just to let you know I appreciate your input.

Rob.
 
Last edited:
facts

Simply stating facts and well wishes for you.
I truly DO hope you get over yourself.

Did the dying alone comment strike a nerve?
Seems as though you got offensive with me.
Why would I be jelous?
 
Last edited:
IrishFun69 said:
What the hell is the benefit of being alone? Sure, I might save a bit of money, but apart from that no sex at the whim of a phone call? How is that beneficial? I will probably end up spending more on a few escorts just to give me some pleasure than what I would save from less meals out etc. being single!

I thought people here could give some good honest advice instead of attacking me and throwing insults about the place!?!
Click to expand...

In my response to my (this) first post to you, I was giving you honest advice and was not attacking you.

I made the mistake of thinking that you were struggling with the choice of breaking up with your girlfriend, finding a new LTR, or playing the field. Spending some time alone is valuable in assessing what you really want in in life, relationships and sex. It's a way to reflect on things that have gone well and where things have gone wrong and how to not repeat the pattern.

Seeing your other post, all you're interested in is "playing (pretending to be) the nice guy" and the "fuck 'em an leave 'em routine." I take back any gentle advice I gave you in why it's harder to find someone in your mid-30's. Your unapologetic views and a behavior toward women are sick, disrespectful and appalling. It's not just me, it appears to be the consensus of other women and men, too.

You're not here for help; you're here for some some jackass just like you to give you a pat on the back and tell you, "You go, bro." Good luck with that.
 
Last edited:
IrishFun69 said:
...a lot of one nighters and unfortunately a few ladies of the night during dry spells...
Click to expand...

Rob, did you have regular STD testing and are you now?

...but now I am on the straight and narrow and work at my own business :D Going great so far...
Click to expand...

Good for you. It sounds like you're growing up! Self-employment has amazing awards, but to be sucessful it takes a lot of dedication, focus and work. Been there-done that.

...What I realise is that my relationship has gone south, I don't see a future with my GF. I will end it soon...
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear that, but long distance relationships are very hard to maintain. Or were you referring to the other man's wife?

Since I hot (hit) 31/32 I noticed girls were not that easy to get for me anymore, hence the ladies of the night! It seems that my attraction has wore off. Has any singletons in their mid 30s experienced this??
Click to expand...

Rob, guess what? Most the 'party-girls' are growing up, too. By the time I was in my 30s I wanted a woman and not party-girls sharing my life and I wanted to share their lives. At your age you should be looking toward finding the right woman for you (yeah, that can mean a lot of different things) and toward the future. I'm not suggesting you 'settle down' because I certainly didn't, but for your own sake at least give up the whores.

I never once considered having a 'lady of the night' and that idea scares the hell out of me. Have you ever heard of AIDS?

YIKES+ !
 
ToysAreUs said:
I'm not suggesting you 'settle down' because I certainly didn't, but for your own sake at least give up the whores.

I never once considered having a 'lady of the night' and that idea scares the hell out of me. Have you ever heard of AIDS?
Click to expand...

STI prevention is important but don't fixate on hookers there.

I haven't seen the numbers for other parts of the world, but at least in Australia, prostitutes are LESS likely to have a sexually-transmitted infection than the general population. Sure, they have sex with a lot of people - but they're also well-educated about STI prevention, they use protection consistently (and know HOW to use protection), and they get tested frequently.

Whether you're paying for it is far less relevant to disease prevention than whether you and your partner understand how to protect yourselves.
 
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