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Old 12-17-2012, 02:53 PM   #1
lassifritz
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When is the Wrong Thing Right?

I have an insatiable desire to have sex. I once had sex with my then girlfriend 13 times in a 35 hour span. Yes I was very sore. But now I am married and despite all my encouragement and affection my wife just will not have sex with me. She acts like she doesn't know how to be sexy or come on to me. When we do have sex (9 times this year) it's always missionary, she complains about it hurting, and only orgasms from oral, which is not reciprocated. I feel silly trying anymore. So my question is when is it okay to do something (someone) for myself? I don't want to divorce my wife, we have a son together and she is a good mother, but I love sex and I need to feel desired by a woman. Help
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Old 12-17-2012, 03:48 PM   #2
Makitsu_Trinity
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Shared feeling

I understand where you're coming from, actually. Though in my situation it's my husband who is stand-offish. I can only give this advice, that wrong never becomes right. I have been with one other man since my husband and I have been married. I did it because I felt like I needed more sexual attention than he could give me. It just ended in pain on all sides. I felt I'd betrayed my husband, he felt abandoned, and the guy I was with felt used. It' never right.
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Old 12-17-2012, 07:26 PM   #3
query
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first you may have physiological issues....you didnt say her age but i get the impression you guys have been at it a while...lubrication (usually) drops with age so get a bottle of lube for the next of the 9x per year event...(by the way i cant remember exactly but thats right around the figure for what psychologists call a "sexless" marriage.)

Second, MOST women need clitoral stimulation to get off...arent you lucky that just putting it in does it for you...i agree a lack of reciprocation probably doesnt feel validating, but if a little cunnilingus increases the chances of you getting laid say monthly or heaven forfend bi-weekly...i say go to town like an all you can eat buffet.

as far as all the things you mentioned you have done to "get her in the mood' by being solicitous hasnt worked because it never works...trust me i found out the hard way.

women are not turned on by obsequiousness....keep in mind that should you decide hey its easier to get a little side action, you are going to have to unlearn all these behaviors anyway.

so work on your game. work on yourself and go ahead and practice hitting on girls...it'll put a spring in your step and it will get you ready for post divorce..(I didnt even try till a year and a half after my "gee im just not that into sex these days" wife finally decided to fuck a troll outside our marriage)

think of your wife as a chick in a bar and act accordingly...if she doesnt go home with you, smile back away politely and hit on the next one..(your wife again another time) act like you dont care if she fucks you are not...because frankly she probably wont so whats different.

It sucks but its a fact that women like aloof...so work on it.

google athol kaye and married man's sex life, his book and blog...

also suggest gaming your wife blog though i havent read that one in a while.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:33 PM   #4
NaughtyRedSiren
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Makitsu_Trinity View Post
I understand where you're coming from, actually. Though in my situation it's my husband who is stand-offish. I can only give this advice, that wrong never becomes right. I have been with one other man since my husband and I have been married. I did it because I felt like I needed more sexual attention than he could give me. It just ended in pain on all sides. I felt I'd betrayed my husband, he felt abandoned, and the guy I was with felt used. It' never right.
Ditto to what M_T said..... the temporary pleasure isn't worth the permanent pain done to both you and her.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:36 PM   #5
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Cheating is never right. It will wreck your marriage. And that child you have together? You cheat, and you're going to lose him. Yeah, sure if you hire a good lawyer and can prove you're a good father, you may get joint legal custody, but it's going to amount to every other weekend and maybe one weeknight. Oh yeah, and half your assets. If she's been staying at home to raise that child, then expect to give her more than half of the "community property" when she leaves you for betraying her trust. I know what I'm talking about because leave with the kids is exactly what I did when I found out my husband was cheating. "I'm not getting enough sex" is going to sound really lame when your wife tells all of your mutual friends what you did.

You can't show up after work and expect her to want to drop to her knees and suck your dick. She's tired. You're tired. You've got a kid. You want more sex? Help her out around the house. Hire a babysitter so you can go out on dates and then put some effort into it. Bring her flowers for no reason. Offer to take the kid for an afternoon and tell her to go shopping for something for herself. Kiss her, often. Tell her that you love her, that she's beautiful, that you want her. In other words: put some effort into being a good husband because in real life, most of us are not like the women in porn who are horny all the time and constantly want endless marathons of kinky sex.
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