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Old 03-29-2012, 12:23 PM   #1
switchbitch
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the threshold of pain and pleasure

This is not a quiz with a right or wrong answer, and I am not trying to engender a pissing match for who can handle the most. I'm just interested to find out what pushes your pleasure/ pain threshold higher or takes it lower.
We're all different and we'll react in different ways.
Does your pain threshold stay the same?
If it varies ,what makes it vary?
Is it different with different people?
If you are more excited sexually is your pain threshold always higher?
Does your pain threshold increase the more you play or the longer you play or both?
What happens if you're not feeling well?
what happens if you're sad?
What happens if you're happy?
What happens if you are tired?
My own pain pleasure threshold ranges dramatically from midrange to extreme and the triggers for it vary a great deal from day to day month-to-month and person-to-person.
Curious about you guys.
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:50 PM   #2
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I can handle much more pain if:

--It's before sex instead of after--sexual excitement doesn't matter as much as perhaps the thought of the reward of sex after?

--Music is on

--If the TV is off

--If Daddy is talking to me, especially if there is humiliation involved

--If it is punishment for something real

--If I get some sort of warm up

--If I can see or hear that he is getting very turned on

--If someone is watching or if it is on video

--I am certain no one can hear me scream

My mood does matter but if he is able to change my mood whether happy, sad, angry (esp at him) or silly to an erotic submissive state early in the beating or immediately before then the original mood doesn't matter.

I have never bottomed to anyone else but Daddy so I can't give an opinion to that question.
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:52 PM   #3
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I've only let people I know hurt me. I cannot tolerate pain from a stranger.

My pain threshold varies with my menstrual cycle. I appear to be more tolerant around ovulation.

Lower levels of pain always excite me sexually, but higher levels of pain only excite me further if I'm already approaching orgasm. Otherwise, high levels of pain make me shut down sexually.

I don't enjoy pain when I'm sad, or tired, and will take on an attitude of stoic and resigned endurance. If I'm not feeling well, I make it really clear and he generally stays away from me.

If I'm happy, on the other hand, lower levels of pain make me giddy.

I do not crave intense pain, and try to avoid escalating habits.
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Old 03-30-2012, 12:21 AM   #4
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Interesting topic ....

My pain threshold seems to vary, depending on my mood and the part of me that's receiving pain.

If I'm in an aroused state to begin with, I'll be able to tolerate more pain than otherwise. That said, however, my threshold can be raised significantly if I become aroused during play, even if I started out at a very low level of arousal. The part of my body receiving pain also plays a role -- for example, my cock can take more "absolute" pain than my balls.

Moreover, since I love CBT, arousal and pain levels dovetail quite nicely, since my arousal rises with pain level, and vica versa, up to a point -- that point being when the pain level is really too high, which results in diminishing pleasure. (I feel like I should draw a line graph with X and Y axis )

I think my pain level normally increases with the length of time that I play -- maybe because those endorphins are really kicking in after a while.

My emotional and physical state is quite important -- if I'm sad, anxious, or otherwise have something weighing on my mind, my threshold drops. Although if I'm physically tired, I can be temporarily "energized" by a hot session.

The setting and particulars of the "scene" are also quite important. The more creative the "torture", the better, in terms of thresholds. Although sometimes a straight-forward spanking session can be quite the turn-on.

I'm also curious how others will respond, and if there are differences between the genders on this topic.
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:23 PM   #5
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Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by ecstaticsub View Post
I can handle much more pain if:

--It's before sex instead of after--sexual excitement doesn't matter as much as perhaps the thought of the reward of sex after?

--Music is on

--If the TV is off

--If Daddy is talking to me, especially if there is humiliation involved

--If it is punishment for something real

--If I get some sort of warm up

--If I can see or hear that he is getting very turned on

--If someone is watching or if it is on video

--I am certain no one can hear me scream

My mood does matter but if he is able to change my mood whether happy, sad, angry (esp at him) or silly to an erotic submissive state early in the beating or immediately before then the original mood doesn't matter.

I have never bottomed to anyone else but Daddy so I can't give an opinion to that question.
Its seems that you are saying that you are not particularly into pain for painsake is that correct?
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:25 PM   #6
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Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
I've only let people I know hurt me. I cannot tolerate pain from a stranger.

My pain threshold varies with my menstrual cycle. I appear to be more tolerant around ovulation.

Lower levels of pain always excite me sexually, but higher levels of pain only excite me further if I'm already approaching orgasm. Otherwise, high levels of pain make me shut down sexually.

I don't enjoy pain when I'm sad, or tired, and will take on an attitude of stoic and resigned endurance. If I'm not feeling well, I make it really clear and he generally stays away from me.

If I'm happy, on the other hand, lower levels of pain make me giddy.

I do not crave intense pain, and try to avoid escalating habits.
Why do you wish to 'try to avoid escalating habits'?
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:30 PM   #7
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Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by ouchfeelsgood View Post
Interesting topic ....

My pain threshold seems to vary, depending on my mood and the part of me that's receiving pain.

If I'm in an aroused state to begin with, I'll be able to tolerate more pain than otherwise. That said, however, my threshold can be raised significantly if I become aroused during play, even if I started out at a very low level of arousal. The part of my body receiving pain also plays a role -- for example, my cock can take more "absolute" pain than my balls.

Moreover, since I love CBT, arousal and pain levels dovetail quite nicely, since my arousal rises with pain level, and vica versa, up to a point -- that point being when the pain level is really too high, which results in diminishing pleasure. (I feel like I should draw a line graph with X and Y axis )

I think my pain level normally increases with the length of time that I play -- maybe because those endorphins are really kicking in after a while.

My emotional and physical state is quite important -- if I'm sad, anxious, or otherwise have something weighing on my mind, my threshold drops. Although if I'm physically tired, I can be temporarily "energized" by a hot session.

The setting and particulars of the "scene" are also quite important. The more creative the "torture", the better, in terms of thresholds. Although sometimes a straight-forward spanking session can be quite the turn-on.

I'm also curious how others will respond, and if there are differences between the genders on this topic.
Please give an example of 'more creative torture'?
I'd love to see that graph
I too wonder about possible differences in gender reponses
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:57 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by switchbitch View Post
Its seems that you are saying that you are not particularly into pain for painsake is that correct?

I am into pain for sex sake. I have written elsewhere that I am a painslut with the definition being receiving pain properly delivered makes me into a slut.

So no, I am not into pain itself. I would not want to bottom to anyone if I did not have a sexual relationship with them or the person allowing them to Top me. (As in I was once caned by a woman who was directed by my dominant)

But the more extended pain session I receive the more aroused I get as long as all other variables are in place.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:01 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by switchbitch View Post
Why do you wish to 'try to avoid escalating habits'?
I'm prone to addiction, and I've found that the pain/pleasure brain chemical cocktail can be quite intoxicating.

I've watched others lose their physical, mental, and emotional health to this addiction, and I have felt its tug myself. I've even gone to sex and love addicts meetings to gain some perspective on what is "healthy" relationship behavior and what is not.

Because it is hard for me to measure my mental and emotional health in any objective way, I use the measuring stick of my physical health. My greatest concerns have been the impact of recreational pain on my immune system, my adrenal gland and my heart.

During periods of escalation, I have suffered severe infections and changes in my heartbeat. I think it is wise for me to pay attention to these indications that my body is being over-taxed.

Socially too, the escalating behavior can have a negative effect. There was a three year period when I first became "slave" that I was constantly aroused sexually, and steeped in those brain chemicals. People around me were affected by my arousal and a number of inappropriate social situations developed in and around my children's school. I felt that I had to modify my behavior for the sake of my children.

So today I am less steeped in the chemicals these activities produce. Which is good given the circumstances of my life. But I do miss their intoxicating effect, and I am always trying to find a healthy balance.
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Old 04-03-2012, 09:28 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ecstaticsub View Post
I am into pain for sex sake. I have written elsewhere that I am a painslut with the definition being receiving pain properly delivered makes me into a slut.

So no, I am not into pain itself. I would not want to bottom to anyone if I did not have a sexual relationship with them or the person allowing them to Top me. (As in I was once caned by a woman who was directed by my dominant)

But the more extended pain session I receive the more aroused I get as long as all other variables are in place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
I'm prone to addiction, and I've found that the pain/pleasure brain chemical cocktail can be quite intoxicating.

I've watched others lose their physical, mental, and emotional health to this addiction, and I have felt its tug myself. I've even gone to sex and love addicts meetings to gain some perspective on what is "healthy" relationship behavior and what is not.

Because it is hard for me to measure my mental and emotional health in any objective way, I use the measuring stick of my physical health. My greatest concerns have been the impact of recreational pain on my immune system, my adrenal gland and my heart.

During periods of escalation, I have suffered severe infections and changes in my heartbeat. I think it is wise for me to pay attention to these indications that my body is being over-taxed.

Socially too, the escalating behavior can have a negative effect. There was a three year period when I first became "slave" that I was constantly aroused sexually, and steeped in those brain chemicals. People around me were affected by my arousal and a number of inappropriate social situations developed in and around my children's school. I felt that I had to modify my behavior for the sake of my children.

So today I am less steeped in the chemicals these activities produce. Which is good given the circumstances of my life. But I do miss their intoxicating effect, and I am always trying to find a healthy balance.
thank you both very much, I find the differences in attitude and response on many different levels fascinating. Although many people enjoy finding similarities between their own responses and other people's I tend to revel in the differences. That affirmation of each our unique qualities and experience is a source of wonder and delight. I find a great deal of comfort and pleasure in the awareness of our differences and the acceptance of them. It is nice to know we are not pigeonholed.
I much appreciate the honesty and openness of your responses, thank you.
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Old 04-05-2012, 02:08 AM   #11
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I wasn't into pain much at the start of my interest in BDSM. Since being with M/M, I have discovered that I enjoy the effects of pain in certain circumstances, and feel I want Him to cause me pain on occasion.

I handle thuddy type pain much better than stingy pain, tolerance is lowest the week before I menstruate and highest just after, the more often I play - the higher my pain threshold gets, the longer in one session - the lower my pain threshold gets.

Some types of pain are complete anathema to me. For instance, if M/M causes me internal vaginal pain (by accident, it's happened once or twice), I go into fight mode or shut off entirely.

eta - it's odd, but I find I can handle more pain if M/M collars me at the start. I'm not sure why.

It's a complicated topic. I'm glad to read about other people's experiences and thoughts on it as it's something I'm still coming to terms with. Especially the "wanting to be hurt" part... So thankyou to switchbitch for starting this thread.
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Old 12-27-2012, 12:49 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knot_sweet View Post
I wasn't into pain much at the start of my interest in BDSM. Since being with M/M, I have discovered that I enjoy the effects of pain in certain circumstances, and feel I want Him to cause me pain on occasion.

I handle thuddy type pain much better than stingy pain, tolerance is lowest the week before I menstruate and highest just after, the more often I play - the higher my pain threshold gets, the longer in one session - the lower my pain threshold gets.

Some types of pain are complete anathema to me. For instance, if M/M causes me internal vaginal pain (by accident, it's happened once or twice), I go into fight mode or shut off entirely.

eta - it's odd, but I find I can handle more pain if M/M collars me at the start. I'm not sure why.

It's a complicated topic. I'm glad to read about other people's experiences and thoughts on it as it's something I'm still coming to terms with. Especially the "wanting to be hurt" part... So thankyou to switchbitch for starting this thread.
I too have the reaction of enjoying more and higher levels of pain when I am wearing his collar. But then I enjoy more and higher levels of sexual arousal as well.
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Old 12-27-2012, 03:44 PM   #13
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Things I've noticed

I have an unhealthy ability to weather "deep" pain (I will take it up to the passing out point in my medical adventures) and I am in a complete infantile wuss kingdom level of tolerance when it comes to "superficial" pain.

Things like cane and whip challenge my expectations around these things so for some reason they get filed in "interesting" - they are both "deep" and "superficial" I can enjoy them to a moderate level, and then I'm done. Needles are OK, but I tend to get really crazy endorphin spikes from them, so they're also interesting, without that feature I'd be completely not into them.

When I'm done I'm DONE, I've noticed that.

I do better when whatever is happening is happening behind me. Put anything over my eyes and my tolerance goes down, do it to my back/ass/not where I can see and it goes up.

I have to either love you madly in which case I can be flexible a little - or have some very clear rules when it comes to bottoming.

I love me some casual sex. I love some pain.

I don't like pain with casual sex. If someone's beating on me and then fondling me I tend to want to leap up and do them serious bodily harm. I don't know why, there's no traumatic event in my life to explain this. I feel like my experience with physical pain is MY experience, it's facilitated by someone else for those places I can't reach, but I do not want to have my boobies bounced during my inner Joseph Campbell hero shit.
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Old 01-02-2013, 12:07 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Netzach View Post
Things I've noticed

I have an unhealthy ability to weather "deep" pain (I will take it up to the passing out point in my medical adventures) and I am in a complete infantile wuss kingdom level of tolerance when it comes to "superficial" pain.

Things like cane and whip challenge my expectations around these things so for some reason they get filed in "interesting" - they are both "deep" and "superficial" I can enjoy them to a moderate level, and then I'm done. Needles are OK, but I tend to get really crazy endorphin spikes from them, so they're also interesting, without that feature I'd be completely not into them.

When I'm done I'm DONE, I've noticed that.

I do better when whatever is happening is happening behind me. Put anything over my eyes and my tolerance goes down, do it to my back/ass/not where I can see and it goes up.

I have to either love you madly in which case I can be flexible a little - or have some very clear rules when it comes to bottoming.

I love me some casual sex. I love some pain.

I don't like pain with casual sex. If someone's beating on me and then fondling me I tend to want to leap up and do them serious bodily harm. I don't know why, there's no traumatic event in my life to explain this. I feel like my experience with physical pain is MY experience, it's facilitated by someone else for those places I can't reach, but I do not want to have my boobies bounced during my inner Joseph Campbell hero shit.
The incredibly varied responses is fascinating to me, thank you very much
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Old 01-02-2013, 05:12 PM   #15
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I know my pain threshold for stingy, superficial pain varies, but I've got no real idea of what causes the varience. Haven't experienced stingy, superficial type pain with more than one person so I can't comment on that.

But when it comes to endurance based, discomfort, 'fight' pain (like arm twisting, hair pulling, crushing etc.) I have a high threshold with everyone I've tried it with. There's never any varience. I just don't give up till somethings gonna break/I haven't taken a breath for a while/stingy pain is introduced/I'm tied down. This is my favourite kind of pain.

For me, I'm unsure the endurance increase makes my pain tolerance higher because of arousal or because of the sheer adrenaline involved in the struggle. I get the same increased pain tolerance while playing competitive sport, so I think the two might be related.

Feelings don't seem to change much for me. I like just pain always and will accept pretty much any offer of pain. I actually quite enjoy pain when tired becuase it reinforces an exquisite feeling of helplessness that I revel in.

Now mental masochism... don't get me started on that. That's another thread in itself.
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:36 PM   #16
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Awesome topic Switchbitch! Let me start out by saying that women are tougher than men know and even they themselves know. If you men doubt me, go give birth and get back to me .

I don't have much experience, just wth my ex-Dom, all my new boyfriend has done so far is an OTK hand spanking. My threshold is high, but it is raised by arousal in a converse relationship. Once my endorphins kick I need to be hit harder (caning/spanking) to get the same sensation out of it. When I am in the throes of an orgasm, I virtually lose all feeling though I still crave the pain, so I yell for harder/faster. My ex-Dom learned that I had this lack of feeling during a good caning session that went bad. He was caning me and I was coming. He answered my calls for harder & faster. Afterwards, we soon realised that we had gotten carried away as the welts on my butt swelled and turned nasty shades of crimson and deep purple. Needless to say we learned our lesson and I was in significant pain for a week . This arousal tolerance elevation carries over to hair pulling, nipple torture or whatever.

The tolerance doesn't change much if I'm tired, but it will g down if I don't feel well. My period makes me want pain more. Done right, some good discipline will fix a bad mood.
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:02 PM   #17
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Does your pain threshold stay the same? No, it definitely varies.
If it varies ,what makes it vary? Hormonal changes are the big one. I am more sensitive to pain around my period (I think this is true of a lot of women) and generally pissier and achier and probably mentally not as interested in rougher play. I also have a higher threshold when it's warm in the room and far less when the room is cold - regardless of my own body temperature.
Is it different with different people? Everything is different with different people.
If you are more excited sexually is your pain threshold always higher? Not necessarily...but often...
Does your pain threshold increase the more you play or the longer you play or both? Not sure if I'm qualified to answer that one...or I'm just overthinking it.
What happens if you're not feeling well? If I'm really not feeling well, I won't play. I mean, that's my line, though I've never been in the situation where I had to refuse.
what happens if you're sad?
What happens if you're happy?
What happens if you are tired?
See above.

I hasten to add (and I think other people responded similarly) that the type of pain matters. I have a pretty high pain tolerance in general, so I think that helps. I handle sharp, biting pain better than abrasion. Surprise pain wears me down fast; anticipated pain (severity, not duration) is far more doable and pleasurable.

And I'm not much of a pain junkie, TBH, but when I'm feeling it I want to be pushed. And then really pushed. And then left alone. And then reassured.

Hope that helps.
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Old 01-04-2013, 05:47 PM   #18
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I have limited experiance but my Dom introduced me to the pain/pleasure mix.
Sometimes it works for me and sometimes it dose'nt.
I carnt self indicue it.
It's almost like i need him there to share it and witness it.
But if i go to "that place" then my tolerenace is higher and it becomes like i dont notice it it blends and merges with the pleasure?
Thats when he has to be careful because it dosent register any more?
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Old 01-04-2013, 09:52 PM   #19
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Does your pain threshold stay the same?
No

If it varies ,what makes it vary?
Sexual arousal, how tired or energized I am, if I have had anything alcoholic to drink.

Is it different with different people?
Only tried it with my wife.

If you are more excited sexually is your pain threshold always higher?
Typically yes.

Does your pain threshold increase the more you play or the longer you play or both?
As long as I'm sexually aroused, it stays the same or increases, more often than not increases.

What happens if you're not feeling well?
Never been in that situation.

What happens if you're sad?
Never been in that situation.

What happens if you're happy?
That is my typical mood when I'm sexually active so... everything happens...

What happens if you are tired?
Less tolerant of pain, less enjoyment of testing my limits...
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:57 AM   #20
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Does your pain threshold stay the same? No it varies
If it varies ,what makes it vary? mood, type of play
Is it different with different people? Yes
If you are more excited sexually is your pain threshold always higher? Definintly
Does your pain threshold increase the more you play or the longer you play or both? I have a threshold for longer sessions because I need a long slow build up.
What happens if you're not feeling well? I don't play if I am not feeling well
what happens if you're sad? I will play until I cry, sometimes I need that
What happens if you're happy? I have been known to get bratty.
What happens if you are tired? I don't play if I am tired.
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Old 01-05-2013, 06:45 AM   #21
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- Generally, my pain threshold is quite high. I am also a junkie for pain, it can really get me going. But it surely isn't the same all the time.
- As stated above by Scheherazade73, I can agree on being more sensitive to pain around/during my period. It is also connected to my mood.
- I do not get tortured by different people alot, but the select few that do...yes, it definitely feels different, but it doesn't necessarily mean a higher or lower pain tolerance. My Mistress is always around, so I can gain strength from that when I see I am pleasing Her.
- Sexual excitement I think causes me to be more willing to receive pain, thus changing my mindset/mood. It might just get me to accept more pain, especially when a reward is promised.
- Duration of play does not really change my threshold. But of course the pain adds up over time. A cane stroke that I can take at the beginning, might feel twice as hard after a while. My skin gets more sensitive after a while.
- When I am sad, both bondage and pain can 'set me free'. It makes me feel good to burst into tears or simply forget why I am sad for a while.
- When I am really happy, I tend to think I can take on the whole world.
- When I am tired, I usually don't play. It is not fun for Mistress as my responses are far from optimal and it is not fun for me either.

That answered, I find it interesting to read the answers of others on this topic. Everyone copes with their mood and emotions in a different way. I guess pain is handled like that too.
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Old 01-06-2013, 06:46 PM   #22
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Does your pain threshold stay the same?
I'm not quite sure any more, but it used to be consistent. This could be just in my head, but I've found that my pain threshold is lower in the morning than it is in the evening. Does Circadian Rhythm tie into this somehow? I have no idea.

Is it different with different people?
Absolutely! I'll tolerate much much more for someone I'm devoted to.

If you are more excited sexually is your pain threshold always higher?
No. The more aroused I am, the lower the threshold.

Does your pain threshold increase the more you play or the longer you play or both?
I don't know anymore and I don't think I wish to find out. My pain threshold has increased a lot during the past few years. An expedition to the outer limits could prove to be more than just delightfully gruesome.

What happens if you're not feeling well?
I relish the suffering as "another experience" while wishing for soup.

What happens if you're sad?
I pick fights.

What happens if you're happy?
Mood seems to have little to do with my pain tolerance, although I have gotten myself into the receiving end of more corporal punishment whilst feeling grumpy. This could skew the data.

What happens if you are tired?
As an insomniac, my attachment to the present is occasionally tenuous. If I am very tired, my pain threshold is much higher because I'm not wholly 'here' anymore.
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