Quote:
Originally Posted by pplwatching
We are entrusted by our lover to care for them and we have an obligation to protect that trust.
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That obligation should never *ever* be taken lightly. Trust is such a fragile, valuable commodity; it's easily broken and difficult - if not impossible - to regain. The obligation to protect that trust isn't just for the trusting partner; it's as much for the partner who wishes to be trusted. If she knows she can trust you with her body, she will trust you with her heart and mind as well. If she trusts you, she will follow you to the ends of the earth and do anything and everything she can for you.
Once that trust is broken, you're done. She might stay married to you and she might even pretend to still love you. In truth, though, that love is superficial at best. At that point, you may as well just be roommates, co-parents, or friends. The intimacy is lost. That may not mean as much to a man, but to a woman, intimacy is everything.
If your wife or lover trusts you, guard that trust jealously. Don't let anything break it. You won't know how valuable her trust was until it's gone; then it's too late to get it back.
Pplwatching, your post reminded me of Maslow's Hierarchy. For those of you who don't know Mr. Maslow, it's a pyramid of the most basic human needs to the most sublime needs. The needs have to be met at the bottom of the pyramid first, then the person can work their way up to the top. Any step backwards can result in a tumble down the pyramid - if not a free fall directly to the bottom. If the basic needs at the bottom aren't met, it's a waste of time to try to move higher.
Notice how breathing is at the bottom of the pyramid. That's the most basic human need of all - along with food, water, and sex. Safety, then love and belonging, including sexual intimacy comes next. If sexual intimacy, trust, is lost, we slide back down to safety. For a woman, that means wondering this: I trusted him with my sexuality, but he didn't respect my needs enough to fulfill that trust. Can I now trust him to keep me safe?
My first husband was abusive so I tend to be a little more cautious than the average woman. I can tell you from firsthand experience, though, that it's not worth the relationship to let trust be broken. If a man wants something that the woman has expressed dislike or disinterest for, is it really important enough to risk the entire relationship? Women can usually be enticed to try things that are just outside their boundaries. JUST outside their boundaries. It must be done in tiny, incremental steps - maintaining that trust all the while.
Getting a woman drunk or forcing an act upon her that she's scared of will break her trust. Over the long haul, it will break her spirit - and the relationship. Really, is it worth it?
